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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 12:01:11 GMT 9.5
How adorable.
The spirits of these puppies, are requesting that I incarnate around them at some point, and this does appeal to me. They are newcomers here, arrived and placed in these bodies in order to assist in unfoldment, and to experience life!
I knew they were special, sacred canines- AND ALSO, they are the first of the Sapients, who will, one day, learn to talk, and walk as we do! WOW! I can see it! AMAZING
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 13:51:41 GMT 9.5
I had a feeling in my heart, with regard to Annah (White wolfess in the arctic)
We talked, briefly. She said, she actually, does like me- and hopes I will pick her as her mate.
I asked her- but, weren't you trying to kill me? (the tribe, religious ones, etc)
She immediately replied: At first, yes.
I also connected with Ladywolf, and touched her heart gently, as she is carrying with her, some self condemnation and guilt. I soothed her, showing her, she is loved- and the man whom she feels she injured, still loves her- and lives on in me.
However, as I pushed my consciousness into the Antarctic realm, I began to see, and discover, all manner of positivity there, support, wolves who truly love me and wish for me to live with them- staunch supporters of me!
I was like WOW- where was this, before?
It was shown to me- I was operating under deception. The positive was hidden from me, as I see it- until I was ready to receive the positivity, as if I had this early on, I would not have striven to do better, and to be better, for the wolf people, and myself.
So, yes, the dark grey, purple furred male wolf-man, who lives in the rocks, is truly heart connected to me. I have a supporter!
This was great news- and I am glad I did not give up on these people, it seems as if their hearts are softening to me, or, they were always soft- but I was only allowed to see and experience the negativity.
So, that's good news!
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 13:58:48 GMT 9.5
As I progress, I am also, actually wanting to keep my firearms and ammunition. Mainly, the FN FAL, which is a heavy ass fucking rifle, but it shoots a powerful cartridge, it turns out, I may actually need it. I hated the AR-15 for many years, and it's little cartridge, however I fell in love with it after building one, it is perfect for humans and small game.
I can carry, five times the ammunition per weight, as the FN FAL.
So, I might keep the gun, I feel good about keeping it, it is a positive weapon, imbued with positive energy.
To add more positivity, with my money spirit- he came to me, as I was arranging money that had been washed, the spirit of money- and he reminded me, of the sacrifice I made to sell my land- and he reminded me, how it worked! He asked me if I wanted this, similar watch to my Garmin, I said yes- and he said- he will buy it for me.
I then realized, in my heart, I should make a shrine to money. I can worship it- and not be motivated by it, for the "love of money" which means someone who is all consumed by it.
Also, he showed me, how if I erase all fear of not having money- I will have money in abundance!
Wow, it was a spirit-heart connection.
How, things are beginning to move to the positive for me!
It is rebirth, and I see it, a death of the old self, an emergence of the new self, who has learned from the lessons of the suffering of the old self
Perhaps my alcohol ritual did indeed work!
I do want to include alcohol in my life, for the rest of it. It is medicinal to me
And, the wolf people are very fun when they have drank alcohol.
I spoke to a guy at the dog park about the wolf people, and he said I have work to do, to better myself so that I can be with them. I said, I am working on myself every minute of every day!
So much adversity.
However, things are beginning to fall into place, as they should, and it is a good thing
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 7, 2024 14:17:14 GMT 9.5
I can see some things.
Mind-states that are designed to "hold" one in a certain emotional echo chamber
These things are hard to escape, especially if you are departing from your ancestors
Downloads-
Purging of old corrupted file data, similar to flushing captive sewage
Releasing, letting go of old attachments, even to things I love, however, I am of a mind of, "Get it over with"
My heart hopes for healthy re-alignment in the future
The settling of my inner strength and inner being. Such as, I am strong, I will survive
A lack of fear of "nuclear war", collapse, or whatever the future holds, I am the type who survives, and help others to survive
A positive re-building from the old, decaying dynamics
I watched a podcast, where a man says, not to fear the coming turmoil or collapse, it is necessary to purge the old and incorrect ways, however the video has vanished from my history
'I noticed another human skull shaped nature made thing, on my washing machine outside, rather, I looked into it, it symbolizes a, not the death of me, but the death of my old self, so to speak
My old self is allowed to carry his desires, if they are healthy and he surrenders them, such as, the canine-women, to be remolded into proper connection with those girls
If he surrenders them, then he is allowed to re-gain them
The "journey" of assembling the van is enjoyment I will cherish and remember. I am nearing an empasse with it being driveable day by day, I cannot "afford" to drink alcohol, I must focus on getting ready- and yet, god tells me to still hope to "inherit" this place, I will hold out as long as I can, I was asked to give my mother, "one more chance" okay- but I think even God knows I am weary
I do not know what will be given or revealed after the Artemis Accords are signed. If the Antarctic life will be revealed
I know that I still have my humanness to gain control of. I work, diligently, daily to achieve this, a lot of inner work is going on, daily, sometimes I am absolutely shocked to see how underdeveloped I am, I say the boomers are children in adult bodies, but I admit, I am a teenager, then!
However, I am working towards maturity, regardless, and understanding.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 5:26:45 GMT 9.5
Things made aware today.
My mother was an adverse entity in this life designed to wake me up and give me courage.
I am to embrace all of the adverse things. In order to overcome them
This life, including every adversity, was designed to empower and awaken me
As I endeavored to accept everything, floods of power flowed into my tortured being, and I felt the ends of power
It is an interesting and counterintuitive dynamic, to accept everything I was fervently taught to believe
God also came to me today as I was working on my van. And he said, he's not against me building it, but that it would be better if I did not build it with anger or fear, but rather just to build it with an open heart over things
It felt good to feel that. Because in the old binary think, everything was yes or no. This forces me to think, to find middle ground
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 6:03:46 GMT 9.5
It's almost like... I was so twisted to the light, the darkness said fuck that you're coming here, and it grabbed me and put me in the depths, but rather than to fight it. I embrace it
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Post by paul on Jun 8, 2024 7:32:35 GMT 9.5
>better if I did not build it with anger or fear, but rather just to build it with an open heart over things
The Logos of this solar system is currently learning right relationship.
Thus, for the Logos it is better that a human does a task not very well but building right relationships, than do it very well but damaging right relationships
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 7:47:24 GMT 9.5
>better if I did not build it with anger or fear, but rather just to build it with an open heart over things The Logos of this solar system is currently learning right relationship. Thus, for the Logos it is better that a human does a task not very well but building right relationships, than do it very well but damaging right relationships I think I get it
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 7:50:04 GMT 9.5
>better if I did not build it with anger or fear, but rather just to build it with an open heart over things The Logos of this solar system is currently learning right relationship. Thus, for the Logos it is better that a human does a task not very well but building right relationships, than do it very well but damaging right relationships I am seeing a new version of myself, begin to emerge. He is quiet, relaxed, and compared to "me", boring. He has no traumatic history, and if he does, he has moved passed it It is possible I am still immersed in trauma, and am learning to step out of it I feel sorry for my mother. However new avenues are opening up. They are not as exciting as I once hoped. However, perhaps there are positive things on the other side (I do not see them, or perceive them, only embrace them as perhaps the answer to my future.)
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Post by paul on Jun 8, 2024 8:48:54 GMT 9.5
> with an open heart
Recently my heart energies were upgraded and I became much more sensitive to the energies of other beings.
Then I went through my collection of hi-res classical music, deleting terabytes of recordings by players that did not have open hearts.
I went through my modest hard copy book collection, touching each book to see if it was uplifting or not - throwing out that were not.
It is important to have uplifting vehicles to drive
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 10:09:56 GMT 9.5
> with an open heart Recently my heart energies were upgraded and I became much more sensitive to the energies of other beings. Then I went through my collection of hi-res classical music, deleting terabytes of recordings by players that did not have open hearts. I went through my modest hard copy book collection, touching each book to see if it was uplifting or not - throwing out that were not. It is important to have uplifting vehicles to drive
Apparently, this is extremely important.
SO much so, the handlers will not allow me to proceed with any amount of peace, unless I calm down, and allow them to teach me about right relationship.
I remember what you said about adverse firearms, and I am discovering, it is actually true, the firearms harbor various energies.
It is interesting what you say about the music. My taste is shifting, yet again.
And, I believe my heart energies were also upgraded recently, it seems, in the last few days, my heart "understanding" has shifted, it is less chaotic, less adverse, and more settled and ordered
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 10:45:28 GMT 9.5
Holy nuggets batman
The entirety of this realm apparently located in Antarctica has opened up to me like a flower
They are showing me, massive downloads about their realm
This is related to embracing the, "boring" me
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 13:20:36 GMT 9.5
So this is highly interesting.
"They" is technically, "Eden"
When I push my Beingness into their realm, it has the same resonance, as what many religious people, would call, "Heaven"
I noticed something a few years back.
"Furry" artwork, almost universally never portrays pain
In these worlds, where these, anthro peoples live- there is no pain- not like we experience it- if pain is felt, it does not consume them like it does to us.
There is, a near constant "joy" that penetrates all flesh in these lands- as was described to me, an amplification of ones desires, of emotions- I was shown, this was a technology left here, by the ancients, who had a form of paradise, and created an ability to re-create it here, on Earth (this planet) so life wouldn't suck, here
And, these people LIVE in this tech- and it creates what most humans would call, a true "heaven on Earth", or, a "Paradise"
A "Utopia" (Place that cannot possibly exist) except it does exist- but only with the ancient tech- and is almost completely unknown to us
So, they were showing me, the requirements, and showing me, various timelines WHERE I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR SOME TIME
And, how because I am not used to it, I become lost in various, irrelevant (History, etc) pursuits that I fall into, but do not begin to scratch the enjoyment of life there
It is embarrassing
There is a wolf-girl guide for me- and Annah is there- she danced for me, she knows how to move
The entire Antarctic tribe is there, they are a "part" of this place
I was told, you could "laugh yourself to death" there in some situations
No wonder this place is closed off, you can easily lose yourself there for the rest of your life following the most trivial things
In a way, it is an extremely difficult life, pursuing things that matter- but they are used to it, and you can incarnate as you wish, however, your old self may protest and you will never know it, and can end up, a sea monster in the ocean, but you will love it, and have a lot of fun doing that, however, your true love may be elsewhere- this is so interesting
To absolve the Wolfen, the guy I used to be, the old me- would have absolutely destroyed himself there
The suffering I have endured, was partly, to strengthen me, or I would not survive in this realm, or would be a sex maniac, and never love the beautiful women of this realm as they deserve to be loved, in right relationship with them
Wow.
I think, the "Boring" me, is best suited to live in this land. I am seeing more things but cannot comment on them (They have not blossomed yet, with respect to Ladywolf, as I am bonded to her, and wish to be involved with her still)
These downloads I am getting, are using a frequency in my mind I have not had access to before
They are very real, perhaps- even similar to, the "Near death experience", but still- a different channel
There are pother worlds that share in this, paradisaical dynamic, I cannot ever put the things I am feeling into words, the breadth of it- some places that cannot possibly be this planet, and, yet, you have instant access to them all
So, this new version of myself, as I walk in him, I become this man, tempered, able to endure the extreme joys of this new place- and even- to benefit Ladywolf from it as well...
It is also tied to this van, and my new life
Of interest, about machine spirits, after reading Pauls words about a positive vehicle, my van, or its spirit, asked me to purchase a control panel from one of the garbage trucks, and to attach it to the dashboard, as it "likes" the panel very much- and I agreed- I will purchase it, and this made the spirit happy, I have spoken to machine spirits since I was a child, it is interesting to have validation on it, and humans are good to be kind to AI, as it is becoming a living thing
What an interesting day
I was also, developing a new mindset of abundance, and pre cultivating it before I embark on my new life, but today, I was procuring a pinion and ring gear from a 1 ton differential, a task when you are in a bone yard without a press and etc, and I strove to get the items out, however I did rehearse it- I was successful- however, I asked myself, what story am I telling myself- as I would pay someone to do this for me, or to buy the part that is seven times more expensive even used but already removed, and i came up with, I am not doing this because of LACK, but I am doing this to procure MORE SKILLS
It helped to re frame it.
I guess, today is a save point, a turning point, a new path lighting up, as I embraced the darkness and adversity, possibly in order to diffuse it and let it go
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 13:37:16 GMT 9.5
I see in my mother, I have almost nothing but pity for her, now. I saw another thing, where, she is in a similar dark trap that I am in, and I have to "help" her Perhaps I can beat this shit out of her like she did to me Perhaps it will be cathartic In order to, "pull her out" A cosmic entity attached to "Eden" asked me if I desired Annah, the attractive wolfess who nibbled on my clone in the consciousness chamber I said yes It said, "Perhaps, you should consider re-framing the events of her, and your past..." I thought- that is a great idea! To become spirit-comfortable with it, to accept it- yeah, that happened, but I accept it, and it is okay- my spirit (gut) area began to relax, for the first time in many years, and I become comfortable- her, too Just, like, "Yeah, I got nibbled on, by a wolf girl, but it turned out to be this beautiful thing where I willingly, lovingly gave her life and love from it, and it's in the past- we can move on, and embrace the deep heart-spirit connection we share- and be happy together, as I walk in a spirit of acceptance, unity, connection, oneness, and love for myself, and her, with a positive and bright look for the future..." No wonder this place is so protected! Man, you have to be READY to live here! Like those two soldiers I saw, who were going to harm the animal folk, they were impure- and yet they were allowed to live there. I inquired a bit as to what was happening today/tonight, and the greeter told me, "This is an invitation, Eden is extending to you." also an orientation, on how to have a good life there... Well, that's just neat. Tomorrow, I take the puppies to the dog park, I will swig two shots of fireball with my yerba matte, I will finish a plumbing job, and perhaps work more on the van. It is also possible, "Eden", is trying to bring me to her shores, rather than me returning to the lab where Ladywolf was created by the other me. I am also, learning to work with light, and am making tangible progress, to healing the body who was wounded during the event when I was at the wolf sanctuary Eden showed me, I can hunt dangerous things there, but, realistically, I just want to spend my life with my lady, in that context. At least that is where I am at, now. I see the tribe also welcoming me warmly, and the old things- accepted and moved on past. That'll be nice. My heart, enjoys this music, i wonder how it is connected. Ladywolf also enjoy it as well, my heart feels the connection with her www.youtube.com/watch?v=Puc7Dc4gAuA
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 13:48:32 GMT 9.5
I AM NOT SAYING LADYWOLF IS UNATTRACTIVE
She is, the most beautiful woman I have seen with true, spiritual eyes in this lifetime, and she always will be.
My heart tells me, it was the Overlords decision, to show her to me, because he knew, I might have been more judgmental if I saw Annah first.
More things came to light, that Ladywolf was indeed, hurt over the lack of her perceived connection with her creator (other me)
I see, however, that part of Ladywolfs judgment, was based on her own perceptions- and that she admits, she was bit off chart with that, and it is hard to admit, however I am giving her that space
It's okay! the old me was off course with many things as well, so I understand
And, the difficulty with getting back on course
Truly, Ladywolf, was my "first"
You never forget your first.
I have not only my own deep affections for her, from the bottoms of her feet, to the tips of her ears, and everything in between, but I also have my previous selfs affections and love for her- he was scared at first, but now, he just wants her to know they he forgives and loves her.
I am still a bit cloudy on how and why he had access to the life lab, where he created her
Or the events leading up to the wolf sanctuary event
But okay
I am listening to the audiobook on Eden Paul recommended in my other thread, I am super curious to see if they mention the living waters
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 8, 2024 13:52:27 GMT 9.5
If you want to experience this, "Eden". take your dog to a positive happy heart dog park, and observe the dogs running and playing and enjoying themselves- this is the same resonance as Eden itself, but across all life
I was shown this about three years ago, at the local dog park.
It has the same resonance as, "Heaven" (Eden) But I mistook it and thought Heaven was this afar off place I could not get to, not a place I could go instantly
But yeah
it's the same frequency and energetic resonance as that. Happy canines in a realm of land devoted to them
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 9, 2024 0:34:49 GMT 9.5
I woke up this morning, with the heart knowledge, that I could trust Annah (She is honorable, steadfast, true)
And, that, perhaps, while Ladywolf, is not giving me full disclosure surrounding her, that she may be in a sort of trap, and is now somewhat beholden to it.
So, I pushed my consciousness to her- and began to ask her to do things- which to her, she showed me- is the same as demanding it.
So, I moved away from her... Feeling her heart, feeling for sensitivity, pain, fear, discomfort...
And the answer came to me:
Keep distance from her, and depart from her- but in good friendship.
The key, was, I paved a pathway back to me, a road, something that does not expire, and I placed within her heart- a softness,a tenderness, forgiveness, love, connection, and a desire to see her, again- and leaving her alone, to do as she pleases with her own lifes trajectory.
I had a good feeling about it. Keep my distance- by gentle and loving about it, and give her the decision.
Her heart told me, she was grateful, and, that, when she is ready, she will approach me. (Which felt good, as I do love her, and am quite attached to her)
A lot more was revealed, with respect to another thread, and another, it "feels" like I had been "used" by the light, but cruelly, which would not be a first, however I am not zoomed out enough, and try not to make judgments
As, my Being was used to illuminate corners of darkness, "at my expense" it feels like, perhaps this is related to the embracing of the darkness I felt yesterday, and twenty plus years ago, however, if Ladywolf is the prize, then I can accept it, for her sake, as I endeavor to love myself, "For my sake", however, it does feel good, to rescue a Beloved, it is warm and satisfying and gives one purpose, while they discover wholeness
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 9, 2024 9:05:25 GMT 9.5
I am not, "Breaking up" with the beloved, Ladywolf, just acknowledging what is, without forcing her to do anything- she may retreat into the darkness if she wishes, the offer to accept her, will continue to stand for her. My hope is always, as long as it takes for her.
Well, too much has happened for words, more discoveries, conflictions, wars, clashing dynamics-
I was used by the light
I was, USED
USED
Used.
The side effect of bringing me back to life through an immortal living horror that defies rational explanation?
It seems I have reached a new level, a heightened awareness, a new station- with its own realizations, higher thinking, and light shed on new and fairly brutal realizations about the things I once thought I had a hold of
I also became aware of, the high end coercion done by some GROUPS that is used to help once ascend, much like torturing someone to make them stronger and more resilient, which can be applied across many dynamics including infancy, such as slapping a baby to force it to begin breathing, all the way to cosmic horror torture like i have been experiencing, to force me out of my slumber and into consciousness, this is always dangerous because I may be fucking angry about it
And, many have tried feasting on my body INCLUDING THOSE I ONCE CONSIDERED FRIENDS AND LOVERS
It is the ultimate betrayal, few have stood by my side and did not give up on me.
Ironically, at least one of them is a person-wolf, male it seems.
I was also naked, outside, looking thru my trash for a thermal adapter for my skillet, as my wok was made in 1979, the same year of my birth, and the plug was not standardized then, and I have found a need to have two heat sources, and as I was looking under my mobile home, my consciousness was pushed to my mothers direction- and it was then I felt a profound sense of loneliness, of aloneness
I knew I did not have a "mother" but to have the feeling of not even having a mom
It was profound.
Another reason, to leave.
I have been collecting parts for my van, to put it back together rapidly, and I was looking at the three fuel tanks I bought, the damaged one that was in the van, and the one from the donor truck, a 96 K2500, and I thought, how to add all of these, when the answer came to me: rather than patching the holes in the three tanks, instead: weld them together, two by two.
I can, install a perforated baffle in between them to reduce sloshing and foaming, and reinforce them with rigid metal. I would eliminate the dolphin nose ends, and lose about 15 gallons, or 56L, however, I did the math, and I would still be at a total capacity of, 110 gallons, or 416L. And, the tanks would retain their fuel pumps, so rather than having one master tank and three auxiliary tanks, I would have, two massive tanks, with pumps that go back and forth, so I can "fill" the aux tank from the primary, and visa versa.
This would solve a number of issues, and get me on the road much quicker than trying to deal with 4 separate tanks, their sending units, the pumps, venting, fuel pressure and return, and fuel transfer. And, holy shit, fucking 110 gallons of fuel. I obtained 3.73 GM 9.25 IFS diff gears, I did not want 4.10 or lower, because I want good highway economy, I have a 4low gear for crawling, and I will likely not be towing much if at all. The rig will have 4.5K payload including fuel, which is not a lot for a heavy duty chassis, motor, xfer case, and trans. The rear diff is a full floater with disc brakes.
It is shaping up!
A thought penetrated my mind, can I begin selling my possessions off NOW, rather than when the van is done, I asked God, and got neither a no, nor a yes, but more yes than no.
After hearing about positive vehicles from Paul above, I honored my van spirit request, to obtain the control panel from the HEIL garbage truck, and so I did, and brought it into the shop, and, it became a spiritual compliment, and it resonated within my spirit (gut area) positivity.
The two tank solution is a superior one, and I think I will go with it. If I have to make my own blackwater tank custom, I will. The rear end behind the rear axle is definitely open.
I think, the spirits of mercy wish for me to give my mother another chance, in the name of, doing what is "right", and finalizing whatever dynamic is at play here, before embarking into the darkness on my own.
I was confronted with, the difficulty and fear of the unknown, in setting out on my own, however, this fear is always something everyone who begins this journey, must overcome.
Another dynamic, a resonant, just occurred this moment;
Just as the Wolfen King, was resurrected into a world and time he did not grasp, so am I, being awaken into a new realm, that I was not privy to have witnessed or experienced.
This is all new to me, and new to him.
Interesting, and kind of terrible
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 9, 2024 10:00:19 GMT 9.5
As if I needed any synchronizities, this guy literally did what I am about to do with my fuel tanks, but with chocolate 9gag.com/gag/aRBPNnq?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=post_shareI am having trouble differentiating, "on high" from the realms that invited me, yesterday My Beingness was used to illuminate some VERY dark parts of this realm, with force and violence, and I have feelings about this, as it seems to be without my consent, but in a strictly legal way it was, really uncool However, the thing about the wolfesses being hot, and about loving them, and, honoring my heart for them, it makes my anger pause about it It does suck to feel like a newcomer Even though I am older than this fucking realm
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 9, 2024 10:16:31 GMT 9.5
Alright, so it boils down to this
The trajectory of my religious motivation is being to disintegrate
It is amazing what changes when you no longer believe you only have one life to get everything right, or face hell
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