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Post by tundrawolf on May 28, 2024 5:24:00 GMT 9.5
I want to be healed. I want to be free.
I just hope the wolf girls can follow, and abandon my mother
If not I wish them well, and Canina.
I am done.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 28, 2024 5:36:03 GMT 9.5
About the van, God authorized me to finish it.
Before I began acid etching the frame, God had me stop.
He had me stand with the frame to my right, and he had me intend, to see the entire van, finished with solar panels on top and everything (totally done.) I fought it a little because it was like stretching a muscle, and fear invaded, what if I get kicked out before then, etc, but I intended then, to finish the van entirely.
God showed me as well, yesterday, that after the van is accomplished, that I then have authorization to sell everything I own.
The frame is sitting in front of me now, phosphoric acid etching it, inside and out, the scent of sulfur in the air.
Tomorrow, I am going to prime over it. It may need 48 hours I have to read the instructions. However after that comes the bed liner. After that, I re assemble it. Cab goes on and hooked up. Driving. Then, utility bed on the back, then the finishing touches. Then sell everything
Then I leave.
It is perhaps, I was waiting for this to unfold before God authorized me. However, the mystery of why he wanted me to believe I would inherit the ranch? U less it was the OS, trying to keep me anchored to an area where I am tormented.
Or maybe it happens later - I don't care.
Paul was right, it's time now to begin loving, getting to know, seeing myself, respecting myself, and embracing myself etc
I cannot do that if I am connected to people like my mother.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 28, 2024 23:50:13 GMT 9.5
I am grateful to the Freemasons, and to Paul and Stewart, and others, for helping me, to see another path.
I was so trapped in the ways I was trained, by parentalsociety, to be ensnared, chained, trapped, limited, and crushed underneath.
I am, analyzing my connection with my mother, and realizing, she is the most godless, (If there was a god, she has to admit, he would annihilate her, if there was any justice at all), cruel, vicious, lustful, dirty, filthy, vile, wicked, self hating, self torturing, child eating, child raping, child torturing, useless "human beings" there is/was.
She, perpetuated her own, child trauma onto me, because she is weak, and scared, a coward- whp wishes to drag as many people with her into the depths as she can- including HER OWN CHILDREN
I summoned a view of Heaven up to me, if it existed as the Bible spells it out- the moment my mother stepped foot in there, the entire place would become tainted, and the children would acknowledge it first.
The moment she stepped foot there, the children's spirits, souls, would perk up- and they would IMMEDIATELY acknowledge something- that they were now in danger.
Because a child-eater was now, stepping into their realm.
This would begin, the descent of heaven, into a realm that more resembles- another, different realm, partially- of fantasy.
This is why the Bible warns against various cowardices
I also see how, my mother kept-captive- my sovereignty- a sovereignty, a healthy, loving mother, would give to her child, so that he.they, could begin their own life, outside of them/the womb. Instead, my mother held onto it, sucking my blood and life-force dry, over and over, refusing to let go, refusing to let me live my life.
Still the universe asked me to give her another chance, which I could say, was yesterday, as I was in the shop, acid-etching the frame, when she came in and shut the lights off without looking, then noticed me, then turned them back on, then back off, saying, oh you;re here- acting like an infant, asking me IF I WANTED THE LIGHTS ON
Gee, you think? No, I will lurk in the darkness, while working with caustic acids- who needs light
I just want to be done.
I neither want to give my mother, good nor bad, darkness nor light- and I see, I need to resist her, as one resists the devil/OS, until it knows it can no longer affect you.
The moment she stepped in, the perfume of her aura, her, olfactory bulb, being so alluring and beautiful, she attracts men who know she is a "piece of shit" (As her boyfriend told her to her face) AND YET STILL DESIRE HER
I thank Paul for showing me, I am entitled to my sovereignty, even if I was denied it by my own parents.
I intend to be free.
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Post by paul on May 29, 2024 6:29:52 GMT 9.5
>I intend to be free.
Good!
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Post by tundrawolf on May 29, 2024 8:48:03 GMT 9.5
Alright, I need to forget about my mother.
She is an irritant designed to get me to wake up.
Time to move on!
I have, extended an extranormal invitation to Ms. Ladywolf, for a further relationship, at her desire. Annah may be guided by her heart- I admonish her not to give up, least of all, on herself- She holds my heart, similarly to, the other versions of myself- and is special to me.
The frame has been primered! I rolled it on with a small foam roller and I regret nothing. I used a brush to get into the hard to get to spots, and did two coats everywhere, some times three, thickly.
This is the second time I have bought a paint sprayer and not used it. I just didn't want to fuck with a god damned spray gun, clogs, etc, when rolling it on is nice and thick. I also wonder, how the droplets do not dry midair and not stick to the metal, IMO rolling on is more durable, but that's just a hunch.
I will let it cure probably three days, and then the bedliner coat goes on, and then, I will finish the 4x4 conversion, and placing the four fuel tanks. I will clean the bedliner off where needed and weld where needed, then re prime, and bedline those portions, mainly the crossmembers, and other parts of the 4x4 conversion. I have headers for the motor, and do plan on patenting a lubrication system. Inside the cab will be controls similar to an aircraft, and camera/security system(s) etc. I plan on making it inoperable to anyone unless I specifically train someone on the controls. If I find a mate in the future, it may be her.
I had issues with the homosexual hookup app, I have no idea what happened, I no longer have access- and I decided that is a good thing. I am not attracted to men. This is the universe telling me to stop violating my conscience just because I am horny, or lonely. Excellent. From here on out, I am closing that door, (selectively, at my discretion) and opening it for the opposite sex, as I continue to HEAL from the trauma and WRONG BELIEFS of my childhood/ traumatized and broken mother.
There will be a minimum of two more crossmembers added on, to support four steel fuel tanks. I have decided not to fuck with the plastic ones, as I am pretty fucking good at welding sheet metal and enjoy it, and have the aircraft oxyacetylene torch for the repairs, which has been one of my favorite tools. but bilayer plastic is another story. It's not worth it to possibly develop a leak because I am inexperienced at welding plastic. The other plastic tanks are pierced, on the ends where it is inaccessible from the fuel pump opening, so I would have ot make a large hole on top, which would need to be patched as well! Just, fuck that. When I could weld and seal closed a steel tank in minutes. And, enjoy the process, as I find oxyacetylene welding therapeutic
If I cannot put a septic in place of one of the tanks, I will have to carry a spare tire inside, or at the front, or even on top perhaps under the solar panels, as it will be an "overland" vehicle.
I want to conclude whatever connection I have with my mother, the only doings I want to have with her, is to conclude my connection with her so I can move on forever- and I mean forever.
The other beings invested in me, may choose to do as they please, but I want to be thorough with this, and properly conclude things
As it is I am just gonna fuckin leave
I noticed, the solitary version of myself, I dealt with him today, and he told me, he is a bit weary of my extreme living, and the trauma I have been through that he has to also feel- so I had to "bribe" him, with some nice things, so that I would not be forcing him to act against his will, so that I could ethically, tap into another version of "me", who is a sort of wizard/barbarian/mage I am not sure what else to say about him, just that he is a type of Mandalorian, but in the days of bows and swords and etc. I don't play D and D, so I do not know the terms for it. I want to give him the claws he was given by another king, but I am unsure if that would be canon? He also finds love with a gentle wolfen girl (Woman!) at a tavern. He vibes with the name, "Mack". And she, "Cinnamon". I have been writing their story while priming the frame.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 30, 2024 9:06:29 GMT 9.5
The revelations have been many. I see how my mothers essence/perfume/being is so intertwined with my own- from previous lives, from this one. And, it is all bad. Yes, she is a part of me, some of my foundations are built upon her being. However, I am endeavoring to be free. Free of her, free of this- and I see that empty desolation awaits, however, it is better than being paired with whom I have been paired, thusly. Today started, with a long sleep, my watch said it was good! I felt okay. I began to list the puppies here and there, last night- only to discover, some person had flagged my ad on craigslist (one of the most popular classified ad websites in the USA) and it was taken down. I had it listed in some other websites... My friend told me to list it on facebook, I tried- and it immediately said my add was in violation of one of their guidelines. For fucks sake. False morality.These people are tying to combat, "puppy mills" and unethical breeding behaviors- while ousting literally every ethical breeder in existence. The boomers, and their sensibilities, will be known to history, as the most selfish, self centered, evil, perverse, cruel, lascivious, violent, sadistic, self hating generation to ever curse this already accursed planet. False morality because they are trash people, trying to feel better about the wickedness they were too weak to deal with. Throwing their children, and their childrens children, and their childrens chilrens children, under the bus- so that they could enjoy comfortable lives. They are child-eaters, just like my parents. The entire generation is- I know my generation is just, to put a stop to it, however with many things evil, it appears to be skipping a generation. However, I noticed a message in facebook from my father, "David I need help with..." The fuck? Did I not ask you to put your 41 mag in your mouth and pull the trigger? Clearly, he did not do as I asked. No doubt, he is relying on his, "Christian" beliefs to "forgive" me- however i have no desire to make space with a murderous child abuser. So, this morning, I was rejected twice, early in the morning no doubt by some boomer busybody, who could tell I care for these puppies with bios and recommendations for each personality- flagged my ad- and then by boomerbook, believing I was some kind of puppy mill (They later said my ad was okay? ) I fell down a well of depression and anger- however- I was also able to pull myself out of it, mostly- as I just am to swallow the vileness, cruelty and unfairness of life on this planet, and to accept it, and not let it affect me- and so i went to the library to print manual papers advertising the puppies. On my way, I began to discern, myself- from my mother and the other "dismemberment" of my being, which happened during the wolf sanctuary incident, but was primed by my MOTHER, the vampire and child eater, which strikes me as ironic, as she was a vehement anti-abortionist, no doubt false morality to make herself feel better about what she was doing TO ME. I saw my members, ripped apart, torn, stretch, gutted, veins, arteries, nerves, pieces of my personality, all things my mother delighted in tearing out of me for her consumption, and as an offering to the oppression system. I also realized I do not need to rely on other external personalities to be complete. In fact, I should be myself, by myself. And need nothing else. I endeavored, if the worst happens, I will weather it. However, I realized after bringing two of the puppies, as the rest did not want to go, to the park, that the highest form of strength and control- is strength and control of ones self. I began to discover more of myself, more of the adversity, and more of the discovery of myself, outside of the culture and genetic programming. It took the trauma of realizing, how sick and pompous this society is- If Craigslist has taken down personal ads for sex because sex traffickers can use it, if craigslist has taken down ads for litters of puppies because puppy mills can use it, why is craigslist, still allowing people to list items for sale, if they could be stolen, and advertise services, if fraud could be prevalent? Selective morality. The most wretched, vile human things, making laws and rules, to put-out those who are just, so they can "feel" like they have, "Made a positive difference" when in reality, they are just spreading (projecting) their own spiritual filth. And I say this, seeing that I am perpetuating my own vileness, onto these innocent puppies- I see it- perpetuating my mothers own vampirism onto these innocent canines. I see it! And I hate it. I began creating a "free" website about the puppies, as really no other avenues exist due to false morality of vile people, and because you have to do it yourself if you do not want to pay their exorbitant fees for templates, nothing works, nothing is centered, the obvious and ubiquitous buttons are missing, it is hard, if not impossible- I began to realize, do I REALLY believe these puppies are divine? DO I REALLY believe this? Do I really believe they are worth the effort to wade through a perverse and corrupt website creation system? Obviously not. Emotionally yes- but when it comes time to do the wrok, I fall short. Is ti because I am focusing on myself, and unwilling to invest needless (Focusing on an unjust system designed to take money from you by making things uneccessesarily difficult) energy into a disgraceful system, because I am now focusing on myself, and am unwilling to bow to the plague of avericeness that is endemic in present day human society? Is it worth more than perpetuating a divine canine dynamic? -OR- have I done enough. Was I raised, a broken, sexually abused, bastardized, battered, broken human soul, and this is where I draw the line? If people are going to allow such things to exist- then they do not deserve these canines- and may God put these puppies in just homes in the meantime- I would completely pull out of this planet and let it collapse within itself. It does not deserve me. It does not deserve my goodness. It does not deserve my mercy.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 30, 2024 12:13:02 GMT 9.5
One thing about this stage in the journey, you become culpable- you can no longer blame future events on past experiences- you must take ownership and responsibility for your own future.
this is hard!
However, I do also see, where my mother, violated the contract with me, and took full advantage of my Being, even before I was born- to give me as an offering for her beloved OS.
Caring nothing for me, my well being, my comfort, peace, security, development, maturity- as I also acknowledge she had none of those things either.
I am accepting whatever comes, and being at peace with it- regardless- it is freeing.
I am still going to assemble the van- I assume my higher power has cleared me to do that.
Selling everything may also go side-by-side with that, as I asked for a special favor.
One particular homosexual I was "with" for a brief period claimed to be a Jew and clairvoyant, and shuddered when he considered what would happen to me if I "left" this place- well, I understand I am taking my fate into my own hands- and it could be disastrous, as I am divorcing my family- and will have, essentially, no one left to fall back on, as I believe i burned the bridge in Wyoming, and only have California left- if that.
I may try to start a "hobo" website for traveling workers like me, I wonder where I could advertise my skillset and trade labor for money and possibly a plot of land, perhaps.
From a microcosmic perspective, I see how my mother was using me as living flesh to feed on, but from a macrocosmic perspective, I wonder how she believed that would be sustainable- although I guess it did last 44 years! However, ti has the effect of waking me up.
I do not see how my "group" has lifted a single finger to help me at any point- and I wish to be divorced from them, too. I can also see where I took a huge risk by trying to save my mother, who only dug her feet in and doubled down in her love of darkness- however it is time for me to be on my own.
My next life, will not have my group, my mother, or anything in it- it will strictly be my own life, and no one elses.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 2, 2024 13:43:53 GMT 9.5
Alright. My guides wanted me to wait a day to post anything regarding what has been happening, so I obeyed, and I am feeling some joy.
My attitude about my mother, and father to a degree, have changed- almost 180 degrees- I now see the truth for what it is, they are both victims of the OS. I now, pity them, both.
Further, I am seeing "myself" develop- as I was told, "time to move!" from the ranch- however after a talk from my mothers former boyfriend, he said there was no time limit specified- and to take my time working on the van, as he told me, she understands that when I leave she is going to discover a new definition of the word, "alone"
I see my childhood, and how my mother tried her best, nurturing me, as best as an infant in an adult body "could", same as my father
My brothers do not want to expend the energy to confront this dynamic and choose to bury their heads- while I face it head-on
I have obtained the extra 3 fuel tanks, an Heil switch panel from a garbage truck, and an Allison transmission shift panel, that I am going to adapt to the 4L80E transmission, because it is cool.
I see, now I would not have apologized to my mother, however, now I see that, she is a victim, and I may apologize- as she is more or less, lost and trapped- while simultaneously, I also see myself, finally, breaking off from away from her, and beginning an entirely new life by myself.
The life is scary- and fraught with adverse possibilities, however- without these possibilities, it would not be an adventure
It is the, "Child separating from his parents" dynamic- 44 years, however by a number of standards, there are older people trying the same thing- and some much older people who never even started
Tomorrow, I may have a new home for one of the puppies, it was a good connection- she chose a small child at the dog park, and she confirmed her connection with him- and the father (?) several times until my heart was satisfied, that she wished to merge her timeline with his
I dropped the prices- it is okay.
After this, I intend to return to the shop and begin making measurements, more frame prep, fitting of the tanks, more measurements, and begin re-assembling the van! I am adding leaf springs to the back from a heavy duty pickup, due to the added weight, however even with the older less strong axle, I am still less than the payload capacity
I also intend to make the switches as a form of theft deterrent, as they must be in sequence for the machine to start or operate, and if a wrong switch is thrown (Such as they are all turned on) it will blow a hidden fuse and disable the vehicle.
I talked with my moms ex boyfriend for a time, and he assured me, my angry comments did not phase him, "It is not David." and I was somew3hat taken aback by what "I" said, however, I am not surprised, as that part of myself, is angry
It also hid a beer from me, which was the last straw
I am unsure what to do with him entirely. Only that my new life cannot have an angry ruiner in it
Paul gave me some new meditations and encouragement, and the exercise seems to have worked, as all manner of light is flooding into me- not just LIGHT- but also massive downloads of understanding (Where my most recent revelation about my mother came from.)
The wolves are also responding well, as it is a bit sad, having to disconnect from them, however as I have said, each time I do, I gain them back but in right relationship (And it is good)
There is a female wolf person, who connected with me before I was born- who is acting as a guide, back into the light.
SHE is the divine archetype whos heart, is pulling me back into the divine, giving me hope, and is a sort of beacon, a lighthouse in the darkness, I can see her eyes, but just a little bit, she is the woman I have been searching for
I was looking at wolf-girl-art and I was attracted to a wolf woman strikign features, and her eyes, and my heart, called to me, to look deeper into her eyes, and that is when my heart asked me to shift my awareness to it and not be afraid, and that's when I saw her- the woman who calls to me, my whole life
There is a form of ecstatic joy that is above my heart, relating to her
Everything- is coming about, doing a massive shift of momentum and direction- from fear, hopelessness, negativity, to positivity, hope, joy, and "An expected future" that is based on "on high"/ the divine
I also have massive hopes, for a woman, as my mothers ex boyfriend said- she is waiting to meet me, and wondering where I am at- this is a part of my new journey- and will be a good thing! Almost certainly she will be attached to this wolf woman
She may manifest via dreams and etc, if she does not already have wolf visualizations about her home, such as pictures, blankets, etc
Thanks to Pauls help, I have remained positive, especially about the puppies- and to let it unfold naturally, organically, they are a JOY and a spiritual assistance to me, to help carry a burden, when I wake up, they are all round/on me, and a particular male makes efforts to be inside of my arms, such as I am holding him, each morning- when I awake, each time, it is he! I may keep him
Male dogs tend to get along, females- have more complicated roles and there can be mean words spoken between them, resulting in fights- males too- but the boys tend to merge together as hunters and protectors, friction is not as deep
Such things can also be seen in human dynamics
Further, I am getting massive, good download about sex, and sexuality with humans- they are the type that, "holy shit how could I not have seen this? How could I have believed that! That is a childs belief!"
It makes me want to bang my head against a table, however- better late than never!
The last week has been filled with light, brightness, and joy
My new life awaits me
Clean living-clean eating
I am approaching the ability to begin living like someone who cares about themselves, the squalor is affecting my health, after the exercise Paul had me do, I began a deep coughing spell, to the point of almost passing out a few times, I am reminded some adverse spirits are expelled through breath/lungs
I felt much better, after
I was also shown how, my adverse spiritual issues- are all because I "want" them- because I was tricked, forced, coerced, etc
I thank Paul for showing me that I have a choice, I do not have to put up with it!
I also see my mother, and father, as adverse to an extreme degree- however, they also forced a shift in my perspective that might not have happened otherwise
The attack at the wolf sanctuary was not designed to kill me, but to rescue me!
I see, it is for my benefit, actually!
Such joy in my heart!
I may go to California to be with my best friend, who has supported me for many years, and if adversity is to happen, I will have his back, and my Chinese friend who may be in a bit of trouble- to be there for him as well, he is a good man
Tomorrow is pregnant with expectations, measurements, new designs and etc. Perhaps the soft hearted female puppy, will go to a young human boy- she certainly chose him, and I was amazed by it, I had a good feeling in my spirit/gut about the boy and his father, or uncle, they had brought their dog to the park, already a good sign! My puppies draw in so many compliments on how adorable they are, and they are divine and special, I may even put up a website about them, for the next litter, maybe, maybe not- I wish for this van to get onto the road, and to drive it to trust it
God asked me yesterday after talking with my mothers ex, "Do you trust that van?" I said no! I have not driven it a single foot! (Meter), and He said, then build it and drive it- you have time, grow to trust it, and then I will give you permission to sell your things- and begin your new life!
A new life, detached from the child programming I have been operating in/under, stunted by the OS to produce adversity
It makes me wonder, how "bad" the OS is, although it can truly be terrible, I lost, more than 20 years of my life, and over forty because of it
However, my future, is positive
I will see about cleaning this place up, there is a flood of positive things, especially the van, which I am so excited about
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Post by paul on Jun 2, 2024 16:39:24 GMT 9.5
>It makes me wonder, how "bad" the OS is, although it can truly be terrible, I lost, more than 20 years of my life, and over forty because of it
You were thrown in the deep end - and you learned to swim.
Now it may be that you need to build relationships with those that will work with you in the coming decades and incarnations
My attention is drawn to Montana
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 2, 2024 22:05:33 GMT 9.5
>It makes me wonder, how "bad" the OS is, although it can truly be terrible, I lost, more than 20 years of my life, and over forty because of it You were thrown in the deep end - and you learned to swim. Now it may be that you need to build relationships with those that will work with you in the coming decades and incarnations My attention is drawn to Montana
Montana is my exe's origin state- I may go there just to see, I do not know about getting "back together" with her
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 3, 2024 13:36:36 GMT 9.5
How interesting.
I am unsure entirely of the why, but today, started adverse, however, as I retired to rest and return to the van frame, I began to relax, and my thoughts went to my mother- another timeline opened up to my understanding, where she and I are in a healthy resonance, and not this- whatever this is, disunity is going on.
Paul said, she and I were "close" in a previous life- though in this one I loathe her existence, due to her involvement in the OS, which is something apparently I entered into, in order to wake up (??)
How interesting my heart energy is at least in some realm, aligned with hers.
The heaviness seems to be dissipating with other matters, and things seem to be lightening up. It is not a euphoria, but a sort of settling- I am also learning to take back control of my faculties that were hijacked at the wolf sanctuary, it is good for me to do this, and I only need to continue each day as more is added to me.
I am unsure of what is meant by my next few decades, and incarnations- incarnations why? This life I became awake, and alive, what other needs are there- although I would not mind spending time with the various anthropomorphic beings who are friendly and kind to me. Wolf girls, foxen people, reptilian folk, etc, though I do not want to be caught up in anything.
Do I have a say over my fate? I feel like I do.
Also it seemed, that I was a slave to the darkness, then after I arose, I became a slave to the light- I can only liken it to boot camp, it is adverse, however it is not forever (?)
I am also aware that Michael J. Fox is actually a fox/foxen person, who is experiencing life as a human, but there is an interface error which is causing his neuro issues. I always had a connection with him, since I was young, and it became aware to my heart, he has prime, innocent fox energy, the foxen are known to have this, pure-hearted energy about them, his last name is no coincidence. I realized this watching the back to the future movies, when it suddenly made sense.
The wolfen woman who connected to me and has been with me this entire incarnation, remains veiled. My heart tells me, this is so that she may reveal herself in other incarnations, to help me- if there is a true love, attached to me, it is her- she has sustained my heart all this time.
I have no idea what to do in Montana.
I loathe the cold, and I dislike the snow- I only prefer these things, if it means isolation from society, which is why I still wish to vanish in Alaska
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Post by paul on Jun 3, 2024 16:08:23 GMT 9.5
>I am unsure of what is meant by my next few decades, and incarnations- incarnations why? This life I became awake, and alive, what other needs are there-
For reasons that are obscure to me, this planet is of interest to profound levels, far beyond this universe. Some of us have been posted here to assist the trans-universal intent.
Getting control of and refining our humanness is only first step to assisting that intent
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 4:41:17 GMT 9.5
>I am unsure of what is meant by my next few decades, and incarnations- incarnations why? This life I became awake, and alive, what other needs are there- For reasons that are obscure to me, this planet is of interest to profound levels, far beyond this universe. Some of us have been posted here to assist the trans-universal intent. Getting control of and refining our humanness is only first step to assisting that intent
I am unsure if it is known, but I came into contact with my divinity a few days ago- my actual divinity.
There are layers to, "On high"
Some accused me of having hubris- however, I settled there, and began to question them-
It was revealed, they are the "Accusers of the bretheren"
It also became aware to me, that slavery can be of light, or darkness, as I once a man of war, you become a willing slave to it- as it is the highest form of living, hunting dangerous humans
I also became aware of the hubris of he Anunnaki- enslaving us for their desires, and cursing us with their "higher" existence- they are little more than childish meddlers with high-technology
This is why, human women suffer during childbirth- it is higher realms, telling us, this is "wrong"
No natural animals experience pain during childbirth.
This is why humans have an innate hatred of the animal kingdom, and not peace with it- animalia has achieved resonance with nature- we, by nature- are disresonant
I am also being made aware that, I have a choice for the positive, as I am pursuing it, my energy has been used for the negative- as interdimensional beings hijacked my Beingness, for their own destructive measures- this is their way
However, when I am fully awake, they took a chance- and they have failed
I will take great pleasure in destroying them
It is one thing to punish a being, another to annihilate them, and yet another- to erase them from the memory of existence
DO not wake up that which you hoped you would not contend with
You tried to kill us
My kind take great pleasure in ways of horror
Eons are our craft
Eternity, is our delight
If not cancer today, then a virus
Balance
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 4:43:13 GMT 9.5
This is why the lab where I created Ladywolf is so closely guarded- and why I have authority over it- anything can be created there
Death itself
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 4:43:49 GMT 9.5
I see little to no reason to keep the human race alive. Far too many wretched dynamics are at play.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 4:47:32 GMT 9.5
I contacted the wolf girls I am attached to, Annah, is immersed in her people
Ladywolf, does not like me. However her heart...
I asked her yesterday, if you wish to be disconnected from me, and broken up, then let it be so.
I began to pull away, however her heart, cried out to me.
It is possible, her mind, and her heart, are two separate things
Her head is conflicted, as I was a horrible human being in the past, and I desired the death of all life, at least, on this planet, as was due my treatment
However, the new person I am, connects with her
I endeavored to live my life with her, within the inner earth
However, it did not seem good to me, for my sake
The similarity to my mother, is uncanny
As, Paul says, my karma is adverse if I go against the evil woman, perhaps she did her job too well
That is on her.
There is little worse than a being that eats its own children
And worse, when there is food around
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 4:53:26 GMT 9.5
Ha.
It is certain, I endeavored in my life, to become the killswitch of this realm. To, "pull the plug" at will
Higher beings are pleading with me- that I do not understand
My demands are simple.
Leave my people alone.
Leave me alone
I sought weaponry against this realm, it turns out- there are far more means of ending this existence, each layer is more powerful, and more thorough
Why am I being shown this?
The inner earth lattice is only the beginning, the outer earth solar lattice terrifies the beings who were once considered, gods
Contrary to popular belief, the ender, needs to be traumatized, to do his job
Perhaps annihilation is the only cure
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 7:13:00 GMT 9.5
It is possible, that a portion of myself has been tortured into insanity.
I want to believe in the younger generations.
We will NOT see what humanity is capable of from a positive perspective until the older, wicked generation, the "Boomers"- is out of power and forced into geriatric care, as is becoming obvious, as their mental health deteriorates.
I was shown, when I "die" (This body), I will return to the lab where my consciousness was taken when I died in the ospital when I was a child, where Ladywolf was made.
I am not giving up on Annah, as her heart- tells me- she does indeed love me.
It is the same with Ladywolf- and Blackwolf, the Lavalwolf.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 10:16:16 GMT 9.5
I can see my Beingness, is a large vessel, and it takes time, to turn it to a different trajectory
So, I am doing as Paul says- and working on having control of my humanness
My anger earlier was after drinking alcohol- I was intending on having an after morning "reset" which causes me to face reality
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 6, 2024 11:56:07 GMT 9.5
More downloads of awareness. The pendulum swinging.
More things becoming clearer.
More stress melting off.
I am seeing, this, squalor, as a form of rebirth
I am seeing it. This is part of the rebirth process- I am almost through!
I am not fully understanding, why god wanted me, to remain here to inherit this place, I do understand it- but how... Given my adverse mother.
I long to finish the van, and move to California to be with my best friend, who is deeply connected to me.
However God is often right and knows more than I do, it seems, so I reckon I am just to remain here?
Alright but I want to finish the van
Things are good in Eden. There is celebration
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