that is a lot of words to say, you surrendered your self worth and sovereignty for pussy.
Did I?
The same as everyone else, the best they can.
Not you. I mean I am in this mess I am in, because I surrendered my authority to adverse beings, for what amounts to, "pussy".
So I can see how, the consensus is, that I am little more than a womanizer.
I also do not feel so welcome here, and I recognize that that is mostly by my doing, my toxic anger and violence come out when I am drinking, and that I have more core being to get into touch with for healing.
I want to thank paul for his help...
The aliens are being dealt with, I believe the greater Me is on his way and he tells me, they will not escape what they have done, nor the inner earth beings. In fact, they will be brought to account, all of them. Wolf girl, I hope, has the courage to come be with me in the physical, I have cautioned the authorities, not to harm her, I am the injured party here, my say goes, and I do not owe anyone any explanation whatsoever, only- leave her alone.
Because of the influence of these adverse beings and their adverse dealings, my platform is one of negativity, when it should be positivity.
I am working to heal it. I can see the total sum of the implants, and the adverse, judgmental beings, paul is right. (I apologize for the verbal abuse, paul.)
So, as proboards will not allow adults to talk, if I am to keep a public log, I have to do so on a porn website, which to me, cheapens what I am trying to accomplish and YES, it does involve sex, sex literally creates life and is one of the most intimate things two living things can do, yes, it is part of it.
Eric the dogman is very serious, he doesn't smile much, and his sense of humor is... a bit dry... but, like the wolf people, he is not wrong in what he tells me. I spoke with my friend on the phone today, we are both alcoholics, both been to war, and have a lot of similarities, he may be another "thread" of light, he is very innocent, in many ways, but talking with him, he said, I need to, "get off of the internet" and, I can only agree with him.
He also kept telling me, the dogmen are going to "rip my guts out" "Steal my guns" and "Leave me in a shallow grave"... I told him, I will not entertain such evil things being said over me, especially by a friend- and YES, if I do not listen to my heart, I could end up attacked by a creature not from this dimension, in a very real, "stranger things" type of dynamic and no, I do not want that.
However, what price am I willing to pay, to find my destiny? The higher the risk, the higher the reward, and I AM going to do this. Nothing is going to stop me, nothing.
In fact, I feel like my, "resting all day" healing journey has come to a stop, and it is now time to begin transitioning from, "healing" to "doing". I am sitting on a sizeable fortune in vehicles and possessions, that can easily pay for my trip to Georgia, and I may return to work for a limited time to fund, "until then".
So, as I really do not want my passion for "dogfolk" to be pornography based, it is true perhaps my journaling of my time with them, must come to an end. Also as I said, I do not know what the interest is here for the dogmen, a lot of humans are innately bloodthirsty and want to cause them harm.
I will say this, dogmen are more pure than the majority of base humans... My opinion of the human race seems to suffer hard blows just when I am thinking positively about it, when I step back far enough I am repulsed by it, I know I may be projecting, but any evil thing I could say "sticks" somewhere, so I am trying not to focus on that, however, I was never designed to live here, to be miserable with other miserable creatures under this enslavement system, I know a great many can claim this, however I am only responsible for me.
I was once the guy that would, run into the gunfire to save people, now, I say, if I do not know you, neither am I responsible for your safety, you are responsible for your own safety.
How I wish I could describe Erics being, how noble he is... Unwavering... Unphased. Strong, powerful, and kind. He told me, I have never had a father figure that loved me... And, how he wishes to fill that role.
I was also seen on this timeline, a great deal many humans wished to live, also, with the dogpeople- and how I need to be their gatekeeper, because MOST of them were FAR FROM WORTHY and would have corrupted and polluted the purity of my wolf people. And so, I may be the first.
My best friend is also almost certainly going to come and live with us, after him, no more. If God or the universe places worthy people, "meant to be" and of course Eric has the final say, then maybe. I am seeing this as a time of unity between peoples... And the dogfolk can most assuredly guide the human race to better things, if humans weren't so innately bloodthirsty to murder them all, as historically has been the modus operandi for this human race.
Why won't I be including any other humans amongst their tribe: The human race simple does not deserve them.
As many humans say, "We do not deserve dogs" (It is true.) neither do you deserve, dog-men. I am weary of how unintrospective and weak these, humans are, and just when I think positively of them, something disgusting happens and I throw out my hope.
And so I must go to where I belong. I could, remain on this ranch, inherit a horse worth, almost a million dollars and etc, but that is not my destiny.
Once my possessions are liquidated, the chances of this world never hearing from me again is almost 100%.
My friend who does not want me to go to Georgia finally admitted, if I die there, he is never going to see me again and it would break his heart- well I know that. And, I'm sorry. But, nothing is going to keep me from my destiny. Nothing.
I was designed to be with my wolf people. I am a pure being, I do not belong with what is impure. We are simply not compatible.
And, Eric is the purest being I have encountered yet. He is pure of heart, pure of spirit, loving and forgiving... I grew FURIOUS with the human who murdered a dogman in cold blood just because he "could", and Eric chastised me for it... He said he forgives the human, and if can, why can't I?
It's the injustice of it. The pride of this, man, after. His words of arrogance, and the fact that he murdered a father. And, that this sickness is endemic within the majority of humans, I cannot stand.
I pray my "Me" is successful here. I know, he comes from a better place than this. Things are better there... The human race desperately needs the lessons I feel he has innately to bring... Which is good, and now I am starting to realize, why I see things for the human race as being SO much better, I used to think it was innate in every human- but it is not! I see it only within me, and those like me, because it is a new thing, to be introduced to the human race.
I am also awestruck with the fact that, so much goodness, love, purity, and beauty is within the wolf... And virtually nowhere else... No other creature brings so much selflessness to the table... And, I believe this is why I chose the wolf as my sponsor... And why the wolf chose me... Like Eric, she has searched my heart and found me worthy. I cannot say this is true of the vast majority of other human-beings.
I am still unsure if, my destiny was to get steamrolled like I have in the first half of my life, to be abused and taken advantage of, beaten and treated as filth, while the secret to life itself lives in me, of a purity of love that would grant every living thing it's dignity, while the human race scurries to rob everything it can of it, perhaps this is why I have been so hated here, however, the last half of my life is going to spent, and perhaps more, with the beings I love... Beings that aren't human... Only part.
It is the wolf, in the dogmen, that purifies their human halves. It is the wolf that makes them, noble, caring and kind. Selfless, even. I feel in this information age, we are going to start seeing more and more accounts of these beings, of interdimensional creatures.
If it were not for the dogmen, I believe the human race has no idea how much trouble it would be in. Not only do wolves keep the ecosystem healthy, our dogs protect us as individuals, and the dogmen wolfmen keep humanity at large safe. This is my belief. I was, always destined to be with my people. And, I will follow my heart, to be with them, soon.
Thanks everyone for your help. I do not feel a pornography forum is the right fit for me. My friend also told me, "You can't post adult things on the internet because kids could see it!" I told him, there are 6, 7, 8, 9 year olds who access pornhub every day, and there's not a thing you can do about it. You would need a North Korean style of suffocating dictatorship to accomplish a sterilization of a childs access to information, and if you did accomplish that, it would create such a sucking vacuum of the societal classes, that humans would end up even more poorly adjusted than they are now. What trips me out is, I discovered my ex molested her own kids... Is there, a human family that hasn't molested their own children? People claim to be "Anti pedophile" while the truth is, their own parents could be, "MAPs"... And how someone told me, "IN Mexico" dads will, have anal sex with their daughters to preserve their virginity for their husbands, well why are "dads" doing this at all??? Incest AND child abuse??? How much of this is in our DNA? Humans act all high and mighty like they're somehow morally superior, would be brought low if the truth about this human race were ever fully to come out! And, how, people claiming to be virulently anti pedophile, do not want MAPs normalized, well, how else is it you think they are going to get mental help so they DO NOT cause harm to children? By being strictly anti MAP you are, essentially, enabling MAPs to exist! It blows my mind... How simple, basic facts can be so, unconsidered by so many passionate people... Child abuse will always be wrong. Passion without intelligence, is dangerous... People just need to chill the fuck out I think. We need more generations to purify the idiocy of the past.
I think it's... this strange hope that "Aliens" will somehow be better than us, more benevolent... And the reality that many are even worse, just more advanced... And that, at a minimum... I am completely for the arming up of this planet, with terrifying weapons of annihilation, that, at the very least- I can say this. The present day human race is essentially garbage, compared to what I see is our potential, however- pitted against some of the space cunts we have in the vacuum and even living within this planet, i would choose the surface human race against them, almost every time. So, I guess there's that! I would, pick my rifle back up, put on the battle rattle, and go to war to preserve this human race, and I feel like we need to be working for arming up the human race anyway. At a minimum, an armed society is indeed a polite society. I know when I am wearing my pistol, I am nicer to everyone by choice, I HAVE to be. I have walked away from fights, when I wanted to gouge peoples eyes out with my bare hands...
So no, I am not taking my posts down, proboards can continue its censorship of sanity, kids will always access adult material and there's nothing anyone can do about it, nor should they probably even try, and things are going to continue to be fucked up well into the future for the human race.
Further, one last thing, my husky dog may have been sent to me by Eric, or by God on behalf of Eric. I say this, because my husky dog REFUSES to cosign on my bullshit... If I do not interact with him on HIS terms he simply refuses to be in my company... And it is hard for me to stop, meditate, go down to his level (Which is actually a superior level... Ironically it is lower...) and interact with him in a deeply psychic bidirectional, empathic, mind to mind connection of pure communication, and look into his blue eyes... In fact he reminds me a LOT of Eric. Eric tells me, "We are just people" but I see so, so much more in him than that. I think I carry within me, a passionate love for him and his people, that is not shared by virtually any other human. You need, "wolf" in your DNA to see the beauty, love, and devotion to the degree that I see and feel it, with and for the wolf, and wolf people. It is evident in dogs. But I see it in all wolf beings.
Again, paul, I apologize. I know I am a bit like a ravenous wolf at times and tend to bite for no reason... I know I am sick and need help... I need healing. I am working with the reptilian who is with wolf girl, it seems like I gain healing when I work things out with him, but he is childlike in his being.
I see things from your perspective, and I also do not... I think we have platforms that differ, maybe different agendas, and I am grateful for your time, even if maybe it seems like I am an asshole, I am very grateful you are helping me. Just maybe it's time to move on, I think. I wish everyones interest in the dogmen was to love and protect them, but sadly that's not the case, and that really is sad on many levels... As, if humans were as noble as Eric, this world would be a much better place to live in. His tribe, has no use for money... And his people are never lonely for long. They have everything they need, and can remain on this planet indefinitely, using only natural things, such as branches, for building materials, and needing nothing more than that.
I don't know what else to say, other than I am transitioning to doing, I have a goal, a path, and a dream. My friend is against me going to Georgia, but nothing is going to stop me. I must be brave... Steadfast... It's a 3,000 mile journey (about 5,000 KM)... He thinks I am being insane for considering it, he says Eric is, "Setting me up", but when Eric invaded my heart, mind, spirit, soul, and being, I sensed a true man of honor... In the body of a, nine foot tall "werewolf". I told my friend I know Eric better than I know even him, and I've known him for years. I Trust Eric. Further, when I was praying, and Eric was in the cockpit of the van, the most vulnerable spot, I was told, Eric trusts me, too. I, just cannot (God told me) IMMEDIATELY go for his sheath when he asks me what I desire of him, it should be, to invite him in the van, and prepare a meal for him... I will want to throw my clothes off, but God told me to be patient, and let him dictate the moment when the time is right to allow him to complete my masculinity. (As only a wolf person can. I do not believe a human is capable. It is perhaps because I trust wolf people more than I trust humans...)
I will finish this van I am building, perhaps return to work to fund it temporarily, begin slowly selling off my possessions, and then I will be gone. I am not going to mince words, the chances of another human seeing me again is just about nill... The very idea, of leaving my, beautiful wolf people, to return here, makes me about as ill as the idea of harming a child... I will if I HAVE to, perhaps to collect my best friend, but other than that why the hell would i ever come back. There is absolutely NOTHING here for me. It would be like leaving heaven to rot in hell. Only to better assist the dogmen would I do it.
And, this could be why the universe has prohibited me from doing anything but rest. Because, had I of gone back to the old ways, this journey to Georgia might not have happened. So, everything, perhaps, is falling into place where it should be. Yes, I a giving up everything to pursue a dream... The wolf people... And yes, I am horny for them, it's true. But, because nobody is me, they do not see it goes so much deeper than that... I have the Wolfen kings love for his children inside of me! There is a reason, why I was chosen for this. I have been sidetracked long enough! Now, is the time for me to lay hold of my destiny!
Right after this nap. I may still yet rest anther few days, I shall see what comes of it.
Thank you, everyone for your help. It has been invaluable. I am weary of apologizing for my behavior and so I likely must just go. I also do not want to get paul in trouble with proboards, as I am an adult, and adults are banned from discussion, here, and I don't rightly want to go to pornography forums, as I enjoy pornography very much, but I do not want it thrown in my face, and I feel like it would be cheapening of the beauty, and majesty of what I am trying to do with the dogpeople. (Show people how noble they are. Maybe I am failing at it. Maybe, only wolf people will see through it to know what I am doing, and I just need to stop focusing on what the uninitiated believe about it.)
Anyway, thank you... I need to find a new outlet... Or just get off of the internet like my friend said, and just focus on my goal.