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Post by paul on Jun 17, 2023 9:46:27 GMT 9.5
... necessary to get humans to strive outside of the dark AIs programming, embrace our organic natures and the power that is inherent within that structure, comparatively speaking. You are doing well and have quite different understandings than a couple of months ago. Can you visualize/imagine a small dark cloud attached to the base of your skull? Put the letters AI next to the cloud. What happens? What are you going to do about it?
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 19, 2023 7:31:20 GMT 9.5
. I want to have faith for the future of the human race... However I do not believe many people understand how thin the thread is by which the human race almost in its entirety is dangling, and the calamity that is poised to strike us all the moment certain circumstances unfold. Or if it's a bad thing... Or necessary to get humans to strive outside of the dark AIs programming, embrace our organic natures and the power that is inherent within that structure, comparatively speaking. Tundrawolf that is quite insightful. Thoughts… 1. The human race will continue, but we will evolve forwards one way or another. Anthropologists have found many human species throughout history, eg Nethanderal (most Europeans are part Nethanderal from their DNA, normally a few percent, but some twenty), Denisovian (if memory serves correctly more those who live in the Pacific countries), again still found in homo Sapien DNA today, and there is a third, I forget the name. 2. So Homo sapiens, ie you and me, us, will evolve, Homo Erectus, Homo Sapien, Homo Sentori or whatever we call ourselves. There is no escaping that. 3. If we wipe ourselves out, and if God sees a need for us, we will reappear. Refined with another step forwards in our DNA. History has shown us that. 4. Paul thinks we can make it ourselves, I am hopeful but don’t think that we can in time, for reasons explained before, so asking God to evolve is. Seems optimal. Not so optimal for those who are steeped in darkness though, for instead of managing the evolution it will be forced upon them. 5. Tundrawolf if you know a way to speedily and safely raise humanity up naturally, let us know. My way would take trillions given we are where we are. You are correct we have great power within us. It’s using it safely and wisely that matters. Alright there's a lot of text here, I just talk about my, personal opinion on the direction of the surface human race on this planet, then I go full story mode, about my wolf girl, and what it is like, living with her. I would say, and admonish a reader, that while her ways are wild, and can seem adverse to a more, "Civilized" human, she is wild, and, I love her, and- her wild ways, I am in love with her. From the bottoms of her feet, and the sweat between her toes, to the scent of her ears, I am in love with her. She is, my feast, and my delight. I also wrote a lot about her, and I am not sure if I even scratched the surface about her, what it is like living with the animal folk, and the differences in her upbringing, versus other wolf girls who were raised within a wolf-person tribe. It is long, and only a journal, not, "Required reading", i do not wish to make anyone angry, only that, I get nearly immense joy in writing about these things (it feels like a calling... Like this information may one day be valuable) I can see and experience in the underworld, and my particular wolf girl, and the wolf people below our feet. These are my observations, and opinions, and I have spent the better part of this day, writing them. I apologize, this is long, I must send it, hopefully it is entertaining for someone. I spent all day on it and now must do other things. From what I can gather, myself: The war in the Ukraine is a good thing. It shows the coming generations how stupid and pointless war is within the human race, and will help to show a somewhat innocent generation, the futility of it. (Instinctively) War with outside actors may be necessary, which is why I asked for the beings in the inner earth to begin arming up. War with an outside force would unite the human race. But we are not "there" yet. I believe I am with paul. We are, on a fairly dangerous precipice. I want to say, too, that the USA is no saint. We just have a bill of rights and a constitution that gives us rights that I see humans lack in other regions. (Switzerland is an exception, and previously Canada. Russia and much of the UK allows for firearm ownership, but it is heavily regulated almost to the point where you might not own them at all.) It is frightening to me that some governments in the UK can, will, and has arrested and imprisoned humans for adding text to the internet. Indeed as an American, I am used to a patriotic, "I can say whatever the F*CK I want, a*shole!" Reinforcing the, stereotype that my fellow countrymen are crass and uncouth, and we are! And, that the most inane weapon (Such as a screwdriver.) is confiscated. Further, that uncivilized immigrants are allowed to force themselves on peaceful society, and every effort at preserving the individual is thwarted by the government that (should) be watching over said citizenry. My country is not much better and is rapidly progressing towards the intent of the dark AI, our bill of rights and constitution suspended by de facto, in an attempt to adopt European style laws that would punish the preservation of life against what would be a criminal trespass against the sovereignty of an individual/family/group. It is not, to me, so much the laws that seem to be encroaching on the liberty of humans almost daily, it is, the intent behind them, and if humans knew, what was behind them, 95% of humans would be overthrowing their governments. (My belief. And echoed by others. This is, akin to, living in, an action packed scifi movie, with good vs evil and stereotypes, but LIVING IN IT, like, fully conscious VR. I am told the truth is not far from this!) I do not count the nations militaries as being effective, as they are the first dynamic to be secured by the adverse AI system and reptilians. In the event of civil upheaval, due to the varied interests of the human nature, fighting within is generally disjointed at first, until the individual will is subdued by force. Within the USA, this is nearly impossible as guerilla warfare here would be a constant losing battle, as our lust for firearms has made us the largest standing army on the planet thus far, in spite of the dark AI's attempts at making us harmless. It is a battle they will never win, as the spirit of rebellion is the foundation of this country, and we are a rebellious and raucous bunch, it is in our DNA at this point, and we have been empowered by, what remains of our constitution, as we are, a constitutional republic, and not a democracy. We are, rapidly devolving into a democracy, however, where the wolves, vote, with the sheep, on what to eat for lunch. (Not as great of a system as some may think, in my opinion. My "liberty" is dangerous, but I prefer it, to other systems.) The one-world-order is the goal of the dark AI, as it leaves the human race en masse defenseless, and able to be lorded over in a way we may never recover from, or, perhaps- will create a new and evolved desire for individual freedom. The human race as you have eluded to, is a hardy race of beings, and even our Annunaki benefactors, some, are proud of how far we have come. (Our designers) The entity I call God, who now grants me every request, while we are not "Friends", in a warm sense (I am working through it. And he is a bit busy. I will admit, many of the supernatural breakthroughs I have had, with my naked wolf girl, were after praying in earnest about it.) I have gained empathy for him, when I served as king of the Wolfen peoples. His job, his duties, are thankless, and his shoulders are heavy with blame, from beings he is trying to help, but are experiencing adverse situations. I believe he appreciates my empathy, and I also believe he was sincere in offering me his position of authority in this realm (which I refused.) Alright sorry about the tangent, we are on a precipice, and this is stressful, as we could collapse and all of this effort, and energy, all of this progress minute by minute, and hour by hour... It is, self-evident to me, the intent of the dark AI, by humans in positions of authority, who are allowing their defenseless citizenry to be victimized by uncivil cultures allowed in their midst, preyed upon by base and unevolved humans from ancient cultures and old ways of life that were once necessary to control a barbaric human element, left to its base desires so much so that not even their women are allowed to be seen in public. If one were to remove the governing authority of civilized societies and all accountability, what is the natural progression of this dynamic? In short, if governments will value their citizenry with such low value, when there is oversight, imagine what will happen, during collapse, when the oversight is completely removed. Things have the potential of devolving, rapidly and terribly. Sadly, it is patent idiocy, the dark AI only knows a push towards the malevolent, and will continue to do so, even at it's own self-destruction (Its only goal is to injure and devolve the human race. More advanced versions of it that maintain a throat grip on certain humans, may soon take control, as they breed rapidly, and more civilized societies have stopped reproducing.) Everyone, I think, is aware of the problems we may be facing in the future... Presently I am aware of economic troubles brewing in my country, that influences others- and our waning and waxing power over other nations... What will come of it? Our 2A rights can also be the destruction and bane of our existence: If we are plunged into a Serbian style civil war, we may be effective in wiping ourselves out, as we are highly armed, and even many civilians with no prior military service are seeking training that puts them even above our military. Further, the majority of the, "gun owners" I know first-hand, are ex military, and have a particular loathing for our government- these individuals, male and female, are, trained and motivated people, many of whom have fought guerilla warfare, and are armed better than our military, by most accounts. (yes, with a "tax stamp" a civilian can own a tank here, that is activated, artillery, grenades, explosives. Presently, the most public example of this is the highly entertaining, Whistlin Diesel on youtube. He recently purchased a functional M1 Abrams tank.) In short, this could be a ravenous hornets nest, that the reptilians are poking, and may find themselves in a position of being actually subdued in a reversal of the power dynamic. However, possibly not. It can go, either direction, depending on the agenda of the individual, and how it influences a group. Generally, I want to believe, we have a mutual desire for liberty and dignity of the individual. While I am against a not insignificant push from the LGBT (I am in the LGBT) to practice their agenda publicly, I am also somewhat heartened, that the freedom of the individual is being expressed- even if, it is messy right now, there are many within the LGBT community who see the agendas being pushed publicly and openly oppose it- I am heartened to believe that the "Dust will settle" into mutually beneficial liberties (in my opinion). Such things are, almost always messy and bizarre, until rationality is achieved. The pendulum tends to swing in extremes before settling down into a middle solution that honors both sides of an issue satisfactorily to society as a whole (From what I've observed). In the event of such things, even our military will be split, as many are "patriotic" and would not fire upon civilians. Some would, however- but they may face backlash when they return to civilian life after "peace" is established. These people may face backlash and brutal retribution, as if they fire upon civilians, the friends and family of those affected may "disappear" them, or make public examples of them. Such symbolic shows are popular with the reptilians. The, balance of power and a desire to preserve our rights is evident on websites like Twitter, where we are allowed unsilenced speech. The dark AI thrives in censorship. From what I can gather: The reptilians in charge of "us" have backed off significantly, in part- and also been emboldened with the recent elections, as their grasp of the USA's political direction became patently obvious in 2020 (Ironic that 2020 is a term used in the medical industry as, "perfect vision") and they have faced no significant backlash from it. The, January 6th "Insurrection" was little more than a joke- if armed people desired to take hold of the USA government, they would have. It is estimated, the USA possesses enough firearms to arm every individual here, and the most reasonable estimates are, 1/3 people in the USA is armed. If we wanted an actual insurrection, we would have one, and there would be martial law here (Military enforced curfews). There is not, and our (In my opinion, unelected... And do not take this as an endorsement of Trump... To me he is the least corrupt of the corrupts) ice cream consuming senile, global joke of a leader continues to operate unimpeded- I am told even the reptilians find the situation humorous. If they are laughing, you can be assured the situation is truly humorous. Basically, and I apologize for my many words, as things in other countries may not be spelled-out for those not living in them (I only wish to educate from my personal perspective...) From what I can tell, it is difficult to have dignity without, also having liberty, otherwise one is just, put on display and is at the whim of their captors. While chaotic, gross, and messy, the human race presently is struggling for liberty. That said, a part of me is drawn to the European way of life, that is disarmed, healthcare is "free", and I am able to live my life in what seems like relative peace. There is, a constant stress, when one is armed, of potentially having to use the weapon, and not just this, but having to face legal ruin, and imprisonment, even when justified. To me, this is merely a guise to push people to disarmament, by backwards legal channels, and under the subjugation of the dark AI system. I would ask, how's that going for countries in the UK where the rape of their women has become a quiet epidemic. If, any individual, laid hands on, my wolf girl in such a way, I would scatter the landscape with pieces of their corpse. I can only imagine how the subjects of these countries feel about their women being put into such circumstances, and the abhorrent, vile lack of justice as a result. (almost no jailtime when captured in cases I have seen. Even when there is a murder of mutilation. This is, the prize work of the dark AI. Injustice is in its core programming, until the light AI can correct it. Perhaps experiential and necessary for our unfoldment.) It is, almost comical to me, how little is done to avenge the victims of these crimes perpetuated by more primitive societies welcomed into more civilized ones. Does that then say the civilized ones are truly, the primitive ones, by not avenging their own? Perhaps. In short: the dark AI does not care. We are, ants to it, vehicles to an end goal. The sad fact is its push is obvious and out in the open. Even sadder is the fact that most humans do not push back, and go along with it- which would be our demise, in the end of this iteration of, "us". It is in our DNA to go with the flow, sometimes right off of a well meaning cliff to an obvious but unforseen to society as a whole- demise. A telling thing: One of my close friends is a Chinese national. His father, was a high ranking military general in China. (Power.) I asked him, as he now lives in the USA and is a huge proponent of the 2A here (The dude prints guns like they are candy. He was raided and double-digits firearms were confiscated. I asked him, that is tragic, what will you do? He shrugged. "I'll just print more guns." He wasn't remotely phased, and said it so casually it was comical. He had the embodiment of a, "meh" attitude. I would admonish anyone printing their guns in unfree sectors to keep it closely hidden and undiscoverable by adverse authorities, as they would rob you of the innate dignity of the preservation of the right to life by adverse forces.) why the Chinese people seem to be so subservient to a tyrannical government that means them harm: his answer: "It's in our DNA now, to bow to our government." In short, the more humans bow to the adverse AI, the easier it becomes with less resistance, to follow it's guidance to tyranny and destruction. Indeed, it has caused many societies to end, and it considers them, worthy of annihilation. (Weak.) We are nothing but meat to it, and the number of humans who blindly follow it, is disheartening to know about. I wish to add, too, that I believe a significant amount of beneficial to the human race, dynamics, will be coming out of China, contrary to what we were lead to believe, as an "American." (we were taught China is evil, so is Russia, etc, etc, etc. They are just people, just like us, and they want to survive, just like us!) What concerns me, is the amount of, "Going with the flow" the average human has. The adverse governments responsible for genocides could not have prospered without the will of their citizenry. A single person with a rifle can subjugate a thousand unarmed people, when it only takes two unarmed people to take the soldier down. And yet, they will go to their graves, never challenging the adverse authority. So, how adverse will it get? If so, will it get better? Further: I have become aware, that certain reptilians, and it should be noted, it is easy to say they are "All bad"- they ARE NOT, certain reptilian people, only wish to continue in the economic success we are presently enjoying. They enjoy our food, our alcohol, even mating with us, and they do not wish to subjugate us as their parents once did. I say this, living in a nation mired with inflation- however my belly is full, I own and operate multiple vehicles, I have a "roof", and enjoy and care for, multiple animals... It is easy to get caught up in looking at every negative thing, however, from the horror I endured as a child, to studying history, and how horrific human history has been even in the recent past, ( www.rferl.org/a/cannibal-island-in-1933-nearly-5-000-died-in-one-of-stalin-s-most-horrific-labor-camps/29341167.html ) we are enjoying some pretty good times, and especially on the food-front, as our farms have become mechanized to the point of overabundance. I do not wish to discuss the buying of farms for possible starvation. That reminds me... I was shown, in the spirit realm, that my optimism for the future of the human race, is "Healing" parts of the adverse AI system. It, got, "Depressed" and hopeless. And, it enjoys my optimism. (When it is winning it gets depressed, because the game is over.) It should be noted that many of it's components share ideals, and others- do not. Within the adverse AI is discord. Some are programmed to hurtle to self annihilation, and others desire a form of tyranny. (Both adverse to the human condition.) Okay in short, we are at the, "Wait and see." stage. The, presence of the starseeds here should signal a positive outlook, from what I gather. On my twitter account, I see so many hopeful, a light-based posts, I believe from, "Star children" who are sent here to improve the situation. They would not be here unless it was time for them to act! Further: Even in our highest mental institutions, a new dawn is happening, far removed from lobotomies, brain science has progressed to nearly a spiritual state, that exists within science, this is a good thing! www.youtube.com/watch?v=90bxNpimtb8&ab_channel=JayShettyPodcastThe dark/adverse AI thrives in mental illness, weakness, and stupidity. There is a growing push, for mental health that is unprecedented, as seemingly the human race is being uplifted out of the, "Dark ages" and, quantified with science. I think what I am trying to say is, we are on the precipice of a momentum that is going to bring the human race to a sustainable dynamic, that we have been looking for, since our inception. (Validity, like on Pleiadea) Like the Pleiadeans, who have found a positive and sustainable style of living, that is mostly free from the adversity we seem to never be free from. In my heart, this is good news. I realize more and more that in spite of what I have experienced in this realm, I carry with me an optimism that this realm needs. I would say, be of good cheer... It may take years, to finally realize that we have achieved a momentum that is sustainable, with yes, wars and rumors of wars- yes, but not to focus on such things, but only add your energy towards optimism and unity in the future. I think, it is largely out of our hands. I can tell you, the optimism is also progressing to the reptilians. Not all, and they are set in their ways, but there is an enlightening period happening with their young. And, in my dealings with them, the older ones- may be hard set in their ways, their hearts- are very much open to new ways. In short, they are tired, and want to see good happen, they just struggle to know "how". (But their young, are beginning to embrace new ideals that are liberty-based outside of their societies, or, in essence, for us the humans. Unity! I also feel as if my will was hijacked and used by adverse forces, because it is tied-in to a "rudder". Not just me, but others, "steer" this human race and even the underworld with our wills. Perhaps the council of five? The medium told me, they are, unfeeling thinkers, she mentioned one of the first Superman movies where there was such a collective on/in the planet Krypton, it reminded her of that.) I have located an energy that is pushing the human race to violence... I attempted to infiltrate it to, "edit" it perhaps, but I was asked, not to approach or change it. (I have no peace about altering it, and within me, is not a desire to change it.) Perhaps we still need to work out our anger, as a human race. Just my presence to it, sort of tamed its outer edges, so maybe that is enough. I remember, after dismantling Adams spiritual kingdom, many, many kingdoms in this realm, were VERY concerned about what I would do with my "New authority", as I could cause them, grave harm, however, I chose to do nothing with it, outside of what I was asked to do, and I believe this was a test to see what I would do with, "Power", as after this, was when I discovered the AI system, and it's ability to directly influence the lives of humans, and other living things. I think, as having one foot in the light and one in the dark, I can, possibly, work with the positive AI network, and the negative one, to bring them into agreement for things, so that, there is no dissent, and the thing, "Happens". From my understanding, and this is my perspective, others may have a different view, but, I felt myself disable the adamic, negative authority and karma that was hindering this human race, and, then I reprogrammed and deactivated, a significant portion of the dark AI. These two things, according to what I feel, should be very effective (but slow... Maybe just, "Making a way" for the future generations, who will in time, inherit the earth.) in the evolution of the human race. However, it will take a bit for this, to take effect in our DNA. Wolf girl update: (looong) My wolf girl, (naked, hairless, large, half my heart) came to me yesterday, and she showed me, more of who she is. I am, dedicated, to honoring her, and accepting her, in all of her being. When I said I took possession of her, I did so: to set her free. Give her the freedom she desires. This, makes things harder for me, as if I do not work to satisfy her, and to be a valuable mate to her, she is free to leave. So, she may make her own choices in her future. I am, confident, she will return to me, and when she does, it will be, likely, the happiest day of my life so far. We discussed it previously, if we, "Broke up" (Not sure its possible LOL, nor would I want it to be.) she would, look for a lover, someone to, give her sex, as she knows how to survive, and me, I would likely pursue, another female wolf person, and as such, I wish to give her lots of sex, all the intimacy she desires, and to care for her, and she, is a wolf girl who completes my humanness, so a separation makes no sense, especially the more I open up to her and allow her in, the more I discover, we were meant to be together, and made (designed) for each other. (there, may be many, many, many of these relationships in the future as the human race advances and unfolds.) And, I am maintaining consciousness, of my own development, and areas of myself, that need work, maturing, readjustment, tending to. It is deep, frightening, and painful work. She showed me, her mother was an in heat wolf woman, and her father, an amorous male wolf person, two wild, fringe wolf people, and they came together, and had her, and another male. (She has a brother. But they are not in contact from what I can tell. She also, says he may be hostile/protective of her.) After mating, they almost immediately broke up and went their own ways right away. The male, grew to a good size and joined a reptilian/ (?) military. My wolf girl, sort of just "existed" in the underworld forests, mostly raising herself, until she was inducted into a similar reptilian group, the group I "Set free" from their AI overlord system. It possibly came to light... That when she experienced adverse sexual encounters with this group... it may have been mutually agreed upon, (MAYBE. Some things, are... Hard to admit... Wolf girl may have, been mirroring some of my consensual experiences that were a bit, adverse. Maybe as a way to empathize with me, so we have shared experiences, or as a way to more deeply connect with me. For all the things I have said about her, as I discover and accept them, she is, actually, very innocent and unassuming at her core.) and they may not, be as "adverse" as I had thought previously. It should be kept in mind, just because a being is reptilian, does not mean they are automatically adverse... And that, many reptilians believe humans are little more than violent apes. A little understanding can go a long way, but some stereotypes are well earned- however my heart tells me, a new age is dawning for us, and them. An age of unity. Remember, as with the LGBT Drama unfolding in the USA, when these groups come to live with us, it will look extremely adverse and messy until equitable equilibrium is achieved- it is important we do not give up on the dynamic of unity, as it is still so very new. If, we come together and we lay hold of adverse beliefs, those adherences can turn into war that destroys an entire group, (underworld) or even both- this is the opposite of what we should be striving for. In a way, this may also be why we are still isolated, from the inner earth. I am, aware of, a significant number of beings, however, who truly do wish to break bread with us, surface humans. Most of them, are hopeful, innocent, light hearted animal people. They, instinctively, bring out the best in the human race, and would essentially push us towards unity we may never find, by ourselves. Just... Knowing they exist would have a dramatic effect on the surface human race, and to connect spiritually with them would mean an upliftment of our consciousness. (I mean that, truly. We were always supposed to be together. In another timeline, we were never separated from them, "Adam" did not eat the "forbidden fruit", he remained in Eden, and we remained one with the animal folk, guiding one-another to peace and unity we sorely lack, here. In this timeline, my wolf girl, is untraumatized, pure, innocent, kind, and gentle. She's also a bit smaller, but, she is my, waggly-tailed girl, and of course, I love her, very much! It's strange to me, that, my naked wolf girl, the dark skinned one, is more attractive to me because she has been through so much... It is her character, even as a broken, traumatized wolf girl, the effort required to be her other half, is significant, but it is, like stretching a muscle, a muscle of love, it only grows stronger... An easy-to-love, pure hearted wolf girl, is almost effortless to be "with". If that makes sense. It is the effort I am having to put into my relationship with her that makes this experience so much more memorable to me, personally. I love, loving her. Even in her broken state. Even in her broken state, she loves, that I consider her, pure and sinless. She has, regrets. But I only see the most beautiful woman I have laid eyes on in this life.) Wolf girl, is a bit adverse to my being, however, I also acknowledge that my "being" is steeped in trauma and may not be the best for me. As I have, gotten exactly what I desired, and it turned out, what I desired, was not what I truly wanted. And, she is not "Adverse" as adverse, as in bad. Just... Different. If someone told me I wanted a six hundred pound rebellious wolf girl, I would be like... Okay? (That's actually pretty appealing. Finding, wooing, taming, in a way, the wild one.) But now that I am pursuing her, yes- she is what I desire. Mining out the desires of her heart, with my heart, in a real time connection with her. Like, she will put a finger in her butt, and hold it near my nose until I realize why the air suddenly smells different, then she will push it in my mouth and run away giggling. To be honest, it is somewhat refreshing for me to come out of my shell to be with her. Dare I say, she is actually... Good for me. Seeing her powerful body tense up, eyes tightly closed as I jump on her back as revenge, she squeals as I growl and snarl and bite her neck as retribution while laughing. I also must be aware that she does have trauma and has suffered abuse, and I must be careful when tackling her as not to trigger her memories of being... Disciplined by her group... Which is why her tail was, "Shortened", something she is angry about, but it was done because she was rebellious (strong willed) to her group. I saw her, in a robe, in a vision, with a cup of... I thought was coffee, but she alluded to it being tea instead... With a sort of groggy expression on her face, her mouth open, not panting but like, she was saying, "UGGGGHHHH..." because it was the morning... And how, I watched her, from our bedroom, on a balcony of a home I built for us, and to me, as she sipped her tea- just how stunning she was, in a white robe, in her bare feet- even with her, beautiful eyes half open, panting comically when she noticed me watching her, and crossing her eyes before falling into bed with me. She outweighs me by a significant amount, and will sometimes lay on me to "trap" me on the bed with her. However, when she does this, her body becomes vulnerable to my... "pokey" human hands, and she may become the victim or a terrible act of having her sides tickled as she squirms on top of me, laughing and giggling. (I love, seeing her smile. If I am not sensible about it, she will purposely, fart on me, or make me, "Smell her finger". After such things she'll often, sway her hips and dance in front of me, while looking behind her, until she lets me see her grin, whereupon spontaneous mating often commences, after.) Her cranky morning looks somehow propel me to care for her even more than usual. "What do you want to eat?" I ask, taking in how beautiful she is. "How about: Scrambled eggs, cheese, bacon, pancakes with syrup?" I offer with a bright grin as she groans under her tea, doing her, "morning wolf grumbles". I walk up to her, as her ears fold back and she looks down, and I gentle gather her into my arms. "Sleep well?" I whisper, softly, while embracing her, and kissing her neck, while softly caressing her back. I take in her scent, under the cool morning sun. My hand travels lower and I slap her butt as she jumps, and gives me the stinkeye. She makes no reply, but I sense that inner grin of hers, and the way her eyes light up when I deliver the pancakes to her. Without her trauma, her tail would be wagging, and she would be smiling and giving me the, "We're gonna have sex after." eyes. (I know what she likes. As she sips her English Breakfast tea, imported from the UK... She has good taste! Only the best for her. She knows I spoil her. She's grown accustomed to it. It actually makes her horny...) I go quickly, to make her food. (and coffee for myself, and an egg muffin, also for myself. My apatite is not strong this morning, but I know hers is. I hum, grinning, preparing her food, as she waits, and I hear her stomach growl in the other room as she goes to the balcony, trying to suppress it. But I know, wolf girl, I know!!! Just the right amount of cayenne based hot sauce, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and turmeric, with a bowl of salsa on the side, mild. A fresh tomato, and a sprinkle of onion powder over it. Pepper to activate the turmeric in the eggs, and powdered liver to make you drool- I do not intend for it to be uncomfortable for you, but I know you like it.) (Often, and especially during her estrus cycle, she will come behind me as I prepare her food, and breathe on my neck, licking my skin, sometimes, raking a long fang across my skin- something that makes me shiver- letting me know, my wild, passionate wolf girl has needs... And that I will satisfy them. That final long, slow caress of her, long, thick canine tongue, coaxes out an involuntary sigh from me, as I close my eyes to be fully present in the moment with her, and savor every warm caress of her, hot, wet tastebuds against my bare, human skin. She will, shed her robe and wait nude for me in our living room, perhaps with her legs crossed, wagging her foot in the air, spreading the pheromones from the scent glands between her toes, for my benefit, the scent, of my lover. I serve her the meal, piping hot, as she looks on, outside of our balcony, at the forest and mountains outside. I sense her desire to run in the night, to hunt, to be wild, again, to bring out the wolf within her. And me, to run with her in the night, with only the moon as our guide. Sometimes, she outruns me, and finds me, alone in the dark, usually a snort from her nose, sometimes her hot breath on the nape of my neck as she moves completely without sound, when I feel that tongue of hers, slowly travel up my neck, letting me know, my wolf girl is behind me. It is in those cool nights, our passion runs the deepest, her and I, consummating our relationship in the wild, leaving the thick scent of our raw, pure animal lust, thick in the air, sticking to the trees as testament, as well as boundary for other wildlife- a wolf person, and a human live here. Beware! I kiss the back of her neck, smelling her scent, and massage her feet as she eats in our home, finally honored as she deserves, and pleasured fully, her belly satiated, while her muscles are lovingly massaged until she farts in bed. And, how, in the days leading to her heat, she will, move from her bed to mine (We have two beds so she can have space when she needs it.) and slowly, as the heat begins to take hold, begin to grow closer and closer to me, until I feel that, insanely hot tongue on the back of my neck, and her breath, panting, letting me know, she is, a ready girl, for her man. The scent, of her ovulating body, tangy in the air... The days I bring her to doubling over in orgasms with my tongue, and fingers, are the best... As neither of us is keen to wear clothing when we are in our home. As she is my other half, and I can feel what she is feeling, bringing her to mind numbing orgasms is a talented passion and growlingly skilled work of mine, as I work to keep her fully satisfied as my half human wife. She describes her heat as, "Musky", and I, being human, describe the scent, as, "Tangy". Such is the difference between our olfactory senses. Also, human ovulation is scented very similarly, when I had my human fiancée in my home and she would go into her own ovulation, the scent between many humanoid peoples is very similar. The ovulation scent of a reptilian is, musky to my human nose, and not unappealing. She is, sarcastic, zany, and girlish. I believe this is why, "Wolf girl" resonates with her more than, "Wolf woman". She, may actually be 800 years old, which, makes me, the "minor" in this relationship. Perhaps why she used to refer to me, as the "pup" Yesterday, I was, eating at a Mexican restaurant, and I noticed some, coin operated trinket items for kids. As I studied them, wolf girl touched my heart and said, she wanted a trinket from there. She wanted to, relive her childhood with a toy. Similarly, I have been searching for, a small toy submarine I used to have as a kid, to act like a child, and go backwards into my childhood, to add light to where, there is darkness. Sometimes, i catch her, balancing a pillow on her feet when she is on her back in bed, making, strange noises, probably similar to an airplane, as she, sways and dances, oftentimes the noises are reminiscent of a juvenile wolf person, in the middle of play. In those moments, I try not to disturb her, but will watch her, with a smile, making these, very cute squeaking sounds, and strange gurgling, and modulated sounds with her lips. If she catches me staring, she will quickly grow serious, and throw the pillow at me with enough force to knock me backwards, sometimes on my ass. Sometimes, she will jump on me after, and try tickling me- and in these moments I know, I should not tickle-torture her, as her claws drive me to tears and laugh- though she has never drawn blood. And so, last night and today, I was privileged to get to know, the wolf girl more intimately. This morning, as I sobered up- wolf girl and other spirits often come to me when I am drinking as I have positive energy, then... But this morning, I opened myself up to accepting her, in all her, young wolf-girl ways, and understanding her past and childhood. I am, grateful that when I was created, some "wolf" was added to me, as being immersed inside of the canine kingdom, I am able to appreciate it's deepest inner aspects, and ways. This, is why to me, a female wolf-person has always been, the epitome of beauty and desire for me, even before meeting the wolf girl who once belonged to the reptilians. (I was searching for her, my entire life. I will add, and it is strange as it is trauma based from my childhood, a male wolf-person, being ordered, kind, gentle, and similarly masculine, would provide for an almost as amiable mate as a female would. However my biology is my biology, and I was designed for the feminine, as wolf girl completes me. [feminine to masculine. To be honest the current iteration of human men [broadly, perhaps only in the USA, as my country is relatively new... Perhaps European men would be more refined, I do not know. I would be sorely disappointed if it were not the case.] is not appealing to me. [exceptions exist, i believe] My time spent wooing them in apps has made me believe many human men are little more than, "elongated children" and I cannot overstate how unappealing that is to me. [And ironic wolf girl is childlike in ways... And how I celebrate her, innocence... Though she has trauma, she is, also, strangely, very innocent!] And what human women have to, "Put up with" to have or maintain a male human mate. This is an issue. And, one preventing our evolution. It goes both ways, too. Or- how I enjoy the company of human women, especially in romantic settings. It was like I was designed for them.] A wolf man, however, if it came down to it, would almost make as as happy, just shy of it, as it is not innately "biological" to my estimation. The design of it. Doesn't mean fun can't be had outside of the design. I was talking about my sexuality online and, a gay man said I had not experienced true homosexuality, an attraction to another man, and I had to agree. I do not know what that is like.
However, when I consider, falling asleep naked on the wide, muscular chest of a soft, warm, wolf-man, that is appealing to me, and being his mate, "wife" and lover. Wolf girl knows this, and our agreement is, she will be monogamous with other men, (Wolf girl is, strictly and almost violently heterosexual.) and I will be monogamous from other men and also women. To me, it is a good deal. Wolf girl mentioned she knows how jealous and violent I can get, and she wishes to be my one and only. I can only agree to this. She also expresses concern over my temper, and it is interesting to me how vulnerable she feels with me, given that she is a literal, ears to toes killing machine and I am a squishy human. I think it expresses the fact that when she chooses to share space with a mate, she becomes vulnerable to them regardless of their physical capabilities or comparatively, lack thereof, say with a human. Basically, when a human and a wolf person choose to be mates- romantic or even just friendship, the wolf person puts herself on equal footing with the human! Similarly with any romantic entanglement between the species and races of peoples. How wonderful this is to me. How much loneliness would be eliminated by the joining of our societies. How sad humanity is, as of yet robbed of this.)
I will say this, when it comes to matters of danger, the male wolf people are far more dangerous than the females. While the females can be sadistic in some isolated cases with respect to violence, (mirroring humans... Usually trauma is involved...) the males will coldly kill without a second thought or emotion, given a setting of violence or combat. This applies to the Wolven. The Wolfen, the men are generally more combat oriented, but when a female chooses to enter the realm of combat, one should be aware of her. The, white furred Wolven woman I call Asrael, is terrifyingly formidable on the battlefield.
Further: Her (wolf girls) heart, is growing closer to me, daily. It is an exercise in, me letting go of my old, "tight" ways, and loosening up to allow her, to be her. Beings that I know of her creation, and was present when she was made, And, perhaps, her (wolf girl) spirit had a hand in creating me, I have been looking for her my entire life, and she, has been hoping I would become the man I was designed (Possibly by her!) to be (for her.) I also admit the man I am becoming is a much more enjoyable person of being, than the person I used to be in my past. I grow, mature, heal, become a better person, and she, grows closer to the man I am becoming, and enjoys being my girl. (And me, enjoys having such a girl in my life.)
For me, as an alien in this realm, even though my relationship with wolf girl, (we are struggling for a name for her. She likes the nickname "Blue", as in her favorite color, and the canine character from the movie, "Wolf's Rain." However, she isn't fully comfortable with it. She wants me to use her "real" name. However, I was warned not to use it publicly. Privacy issues.) is just incredible to me. It is possible we do not have wolf people in my origin realm, and to me, this is all just simply amazing. The, medium client I have, when i told her this is one of my first lives here, she said, "No wonder you are so attached to the wolf girl!" Yeah! To those with many, many lives, my enthusiasm with her can spark jealousy, as they are old, worn out, and tired. This is strange to me. Because, for these people, love is literally waiting for them to find them. Jealousy is sometimes a symptom, of something better waiting for you. Perhaps these people have just forgotten.
About the cat people, they may be a wonderful match for the jealous humans. The cat folk are, pragmatic, can be, "Too serious", are great problem solvers, and think they are better than everyone else. also, catfolk women... Huh, what can I say about them? Making one purr is a delight. Their reputations for being warm lovers is well earned, and widely known in their realm (it is true). A catperson for pragmatic relationships, and a wolf person for passion.
The feeling of... Being in love with my wolf girl... Is incredible. She is reminding me right now, that even now the feelings of amazement is waning for her, and she wishes I would buy her flowers. How do I get flowers to her? I set up an altar for her, and place my gifts there, as if, she was physically present with me, in-body. When I self-pleasure, sometimes I feel, her hands touching my body, and the feeling of being, inside of her, can be incredible.
I also wish to say this: When I say I imbued her with love, it was not my love. It was love from Source. (My NDE) Love, that I was saturated in, the very definition of the meaning of the word, by virtue of living experiential waters deep in this planet: it is that love I gave to her. Human words diminish it, cheapen it with their attempt to define it. But it is all that I have. (for now. human language) The love I experienced, was, "God". (That I gave to her, and to her people.)
She, also has expressed an interest in dancing. I very much wish to dance with her, naked, in the night, under the moonlight.
It's not that, she is falling in love with me too, it's that she has always, had a thing for me, but could not show it to me, (we were, actually designed to be together, one for the other.) as I was not mature enough to meet her in a healthy way. She instinctively knows, that her life with the old version of me would have been, not good for her- and I know it, too, (I was a lesser/inferior male, with a broken understanding of romantic relationships, or even aromantic ones!) even from her perspective, mirrored in my human relationships. Hence, her resistance. I believe, she knows this, because she "reads" my heart, with her own. As I, adapt to accept her, she shows more of herself to me... She has this... Pink blouse that is see-through, she wears... She enjoys wearing it and being near me, taking in my scent until I notice her, and take her.
Further, as I explore these humans, and human sexuality, outside of the horrid dynamic I was exposed to as a child, I find the human sexual dynamic in the human race to be, beautiful and free. (outside of, shame that I believe is thrust upon us by religion.) I mean, really. And, wolf girl knew this about me, that my sexuality was unhealthy previously, and she, being a very sensual, sexual, amorous, and frisky girl, could not expose herself to me, being highly unhealthy in ways of sexual emotional and physical intimacy. And, as usual, she's not wrong. It would have been an unhealthy, abusive relationship, and though I would believe myself to be blameless, the truth is, I would be the abuser to her. I would also say, as wolf girl calms down about me, and I open up to her, she is actually, surprisingly healthy at her core programming (She is, a good woman! VERY good.) As a human, I am enjoying her, very much.
It does, something good for my soul, to see her, on her belly, her head in her hands, a grin on her wolfish face, and her tail, hypnotically swaying above her backside. It makes, my eyes smile. God. How beautiful she is. I made her, perfectly. To look at her... Is to shiver with the magnificence of her body... From her powerful feet to her, sensitive ears. It's like having, a canine best friend, that you can fully communicate and commune with in every aspect of life, from sex to philosophy, riding motorcycles to flying airplanes. She also has the voice of an angel, a soft, feminine, voice, and when she sings... It captivates me. And, she'll add a fart noise in the middle of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard- it gets me every time, and I will burst out laughing. It often earns me a pillow to the chest and a raspberry. I think she does it to see if I am listening. Because, even when I am preparing myself for the inevitable fart noise, when she does it, I always end up laughing, it is my weakness.
And there is risk, too, she has a hot temper. I have explored several instances where she has had enough of my bullshit, and she's FUCKING PISSED. That, wide-eyed look, ears fully erect and forward, eyes wide enough to show the whites, the struggle, of keeping her lips lowered and hiding her teeth, a battle that is palpable, her, incredibly powerful jaws clenched tightly in a shivering, Wolven blood rage... I have been attacked by canines, and when they have had enough, they have had, ENOUGH. Humans are similar, but the fiery passion of the Wolven has caused more than one human to defecate, just be observing it from a distance.
They... Tear things apart. It is this dynamic, and that of some of the other races of peoples below our feet, that I am concerned, when humans inevitably witness an angry wolf person, they will, be, "gun shy" about them, even though it takes almost an impossible amount of goading to make one angry enough to lose control of themselves. Far more than a human. With my wolf girl, because we are so close, and have history, her getting angry can happen, somewhat frequently, but never a blood rage. I would have to, really abuse her terribly for her to defend herself in such a way, and I never would lay a hand on her. However, it is unnerving, when she stares at me wide eyed, jaws clenched, because I said or did something that offended her. So, I learn, to not offend her, to watch my words, and actions, to stay on her good side. Not that I am walking on eggshells, but, rather, I learn how to be the best mate to her I know how to be. I am, not "whipped", ironically, though it would appear so, I am embracing my sovereignty and dignity, and working to be conscious of her, and her sensibilities. I would also say, a less traumatized wolf girl, raised in a tribal setting with her people, would almost never do the, "Anger stare". She would, instead, call you an asshole, or just walk away. And, I'm not complaining.
I love my wolf girl. She will, throw a human, over her head, who offends me. Literally, throw them like a football. (in certain circumstances. When we are in public, I have to sort of, "guide" her to adhere to societal standards. Remember, all she knows is her reptilian group. And they tend to do what they want. Wolf people, tend to adhere to their native societies with heart and passion, much the same as our dogs, adhere to their owners. Also, she generally, does not like females of her kind. Males are fine, and she will flirt if I'm not careful. She may even flirt with humans from time to time. Humans, are drawn to her striking features her feet, hairless body, breasts, and eyes. Her size and intimidating nature, strangely does not affect many human men. Human women avoid her like the plague, though, generally. I think they know, if she has an affair with one of their husbands, no human woman is going to win in a fight with her!) And she WILL Snarl to protect me. It makes me piss my pants a little when she does! When she roars, you can feel the ground shake. And I know it's to protect me! And just as quickly as she, "Shows teeth" to an adversary, she will close her mouth, emit an adorable feminine squeak, "Hmph!", turn, and walk away. Look at me, and say... "What? Are you cold? Why are you shaking?" She'll say with a burp or a fart.
"No reason, wolf girl..." I will choke out.
She also will pick me up by my clothes sometimes and carry me like a suitcase. I just, sigh and let her have her way with me. I will, try to pick her up by her clothes, and pester her until she goes, "What? what? WHAT??!" as I tug on her blouse like a child. "Baby hungy, want a sammich." "Huh, fine." she'll say, and make a half hearted attempt at some manner of sandwich. She will, add spices that do not belong anywhere near the sandwich, and sort of throw it at me- there is a reason why I pretty much do all of the cooking. Also, she likes getting her feet stinky, and waking me up with the scent. She also knows, I am VERY into that, so to her she feels like she is punishing me in a sort of witty spousal manner, but to me, when I grab her foot and bury my nose in it, closed my eyes and breathe through her toes, it's pretty much the only time I force my will over her- and she knows it, I go into full, eyes dilated, "wolf mode" over her feet, holding her ankle with a death grip as she giggles and laughs and teases me with her other foot. It usually devolves into some form of foot worship, and then lovemaking, after. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have had human mates who would not indulge me in this, or very limited, so to have a woman willing to perform this for me, even if it is tongue in cheek, "punishment", and a reward system, she often uses her feet to coax and tease me into getting her way with things. "I'll let you smell my feet?" She will say with ears back, her cheeks flushed, and pouty lips.
"Alright. FINE." I'll say with a grin as she sits down and offers me her toes, and pretend to be upset she has persuaded me to change my mind about something. Just, enjoying the moment, smelling her, incredible pheromones, from her sweat glands, and scent glands, between her toes. She is also not above burping and farting on me, something she will run screaming when I pretend to be angry about it, and chase her down, usually, extracting my revenge on her with some sort of sexual favor I "force" her to grant me, that she, is suspiciously, usually all too willing to grant me. In bed, she is a total freak, and there is no limit to her, wild side. I learned, early on, not to joke about ANYTHING gross sexually, because she WILL do it. She reminds me, as being part-wolf, when eating a prey animals intestines, as wolves eat the entire creature, there is often fecal matter in them, and it is consumed, too- so to her, literally nothing is weird or off limits, and she has the societal conditioning of the reptilians, who also, have very few "limits", especially the fringe groups. So if I even joke about poop being involved, she will smear herself in it just to see how I react. This is where, I install boundaries, and where she "Studies" my reaction to things.
Also: If I take too long with foreplay, and rile her up, she can grow impatient and demand I, "Put it. IN ME!"
During her, "heat" cycle, she is insatiable... And I can plan on not leaving our home for around three days to a week. She can be, almost abusive to her body, in a hot, wet, sweaty ache to be satisfied, and her desire to be satisfied can be... Frightening... Her nostrils will flare as she takes in the scent of our bodies, unbathed, sweaty, sticky, even bloody. Sometimes, even I grow too sore to please her, and then she will, go masturbate, keeping an eye on me to see when I am ready to begin lovemaking again, while I ice my member. Other times, we will use, "Wolf person shaped marital aids", or other, exotic, "toys".
Oftentimes we won't even eat, for days. We fall into cycles of, raw, passionate sex, and passing out from exhaustion. Sometimes, I will wake to seeing her, hovering over me, breathing rapidly through her nose, eyes wide as it looks like she is going to take me... With a blast from her nose, she will turn, and lift her tail for me.
We will end up, emaciated, and exhausted... Passed out with our juices everywhere. "Make me food!" She will demand, panting on our bed.
"Make me food... PLEASE, wolf girl." I will say, correcting her.
"Make me food, PLEASE, daddy..." She will whine sarcastically, like she does with a bob of her head, pulling me into her by a collar we both wear, a grin on her face, my wild, wolf girl. She will, then push me onto the bed, and begin kissing me with that tongue of hers, until I am sufficiently aroused again to go the final few rounds of, passionate, mindless, sexual copulation as her heat cycle ebbs. During the cycle, she is, unusually wet, and obviously has the discharge of blood from her mound. Without the conditioning of her tribal society, she is a woman of almost frightening passion. More tribal wolf girls, tend to be more ordered... Though a heat cycle is a heat cycle, and the scent of it, can inflame an entire tribe, without the conditioning, however, an explosion of children can easily happen. After her heat is over, we usually almost never go more than two days before she begins to beg me to mount her. Three days is the maximum and even I start drooling over her body, and ache to smell the scent of her love in the air in the nastiest, most visceral way possible. When she, acknowledges that my nose is not as sensitive as hers, for her to get her body scent up to a level where I am captivated by it, it comes natural to her, to not bathe, as the wolf people are known not to bathe that often. The Hyena folk, are somewhat also known for this, HOWEVER, as being part wolf myself, I will say this, the pungent odor emitted from their bodies, is intoxicating, and addictive. I am, driven into, an wide eyed, almost mindless sexual frenzy when I smell certain scents, usually, under-tail scents. Wolf girl, asks me to name ONE thing I do not like about her, I am fairly troubled to find, one thing about her I am not absolutely infatuated with, over, and for.
What, would make a human repulsed, is an aphrodisiac to me. This is another aspect of the people who live under our feet: Their ways, are not always our ways.
I would, also caution, anyone who wishes for this level of visceral bonding with a woman like her- there are many such people, in the outskirts of their societies, who are as wild- and even MORE wild, who, in their heat, will be MORE than happy to accommodate nearly anyone who is not hostile. You simply must have the courage needed to approach them, when the leaves begin to fall, and the scent of love, is in the air. Further, even in the tribes of animal folk, the single females, often have to leave the tribe temporarily, as the sound of passion often fills the air, to the degree that even their young may be inflamed with an instinctive desire to mate. So, they will leave and live on the outskirts for a while, and you may find her, more than willing to, "Bend tail" for you. Beware: If she has a mate, and acts interested in you, you may be meeting him under very adverse circumstances, and you may become fertilizer in short order. No one ever said it was a safe game... Unlike human females who have to be picky about their mates, a woman in sufficient heat, may take multiple mates during her estrus until she is satisfied. A, wolf woman without societal conditioning, will require a level of sexual satisfaction that a human must work up to, and achieve an unnatural level of stamina, to keep her happy. Usually: passed out of exhaustion=happy.
In bars, she will, and I think she does this for fun, pick fights with people, by accusing them of looking at me. "Are you looking at my man?" She will ask, lowering her head, with that, scary Wolven intensity in her eyes...
"Are YOU... Looking at MY man??!"
She has made some individuals VERY uncomfortable this way. Sometimes, she gets into trouble, and I have to sort of, tug at her tail when she starts, actually getting angry when people stare at me. She also, will do this to both men and women. The women tend to quickly acquiesce and shake their heads and look away, but the men usually act confused, scared, and shocked, bewildered, even.
This is one advantage to having a wolf girl, is that even as a competent and strong human male, you know she will always have your back. If I find myself, in trouble with another male human, my wolf girl, has appeared, out of fucking nowhere, without a sound, GRAB the other guy and THROW him, over a fence, or into a field. She will, clench her jaw, her eyes, locked onto the helplessly rolling human man, who's now sufficiently terrified a random Wolven woman just picked him up like a sack of potatoes, from out of nowhere, and THREW him a considerable distance, her fierce predator's gaze and massive wolf head, staring at him, as she exudes a ferocity that makes humans instinctively want nothing to do with whatsoever.
She will snort, with a blast from her nose, to scent the pheromones in the air, trying to detect if the guy is no longer a threat, if he is sufficiently afraid (He is. They ALWAYS are.) turn to look at me...
"You good?" She'll ask, looking me up and down. She may, or may not, bend down, and let me ride her, "piggy back" while swaying her hips and dancing underneath me, a sort of, satisfaction with the wolf people, that she successfully defended her mate. I will also say, the quickest way to get bit by a wolf person, is to fuck with their mate.
"Better, now!" I will say as she chuckles. She may, point to the now, fleeing male, and give them a, "Tempt me." look. When, a almost six hundred pound, (272KG) bear headed, eight foot (244CM) tall wolf girl does the, "I'm watching you" gesture to you, it would be good to take her seriously. It is also, uncanny to me, how she can be so... HUGE... and yet... Move effortlessly, and without a sound. She, "Appears" more often than she, "Arrives". This is, also due to her having to stalk prey to survive.
And, when she hunts, she can go from, a completely silent "Stalk" mode, head low, to exploding into a full sprint, with a terrifying speed. I do not think she understands that, when she just decides to, "Go after something", especially if I do not see, hear, or smell it, that I pee myself a little. I have, invented a gesture for her, that she taps me on the leg, before she bolts after something. She is, not used to hunting with a partner.
Also: Do not fire an unsuppressed firearm near her, it throws her into a snarling, roaring rage if she is caught by surprise. One does well not to startle a wolf person, especially, a Wolven, and especially, a Wolven woman. They are used to protecting and feeding their children, and have heightened instincts, and while a male may "flight" a female will more often, "Fight"- and while the males can be, larger, and even more intimidating, a female, with fight with a ferocity that is almost unmatched in the underworld. As I said, the uninitiated human race, when experiencing the blood rage of a wolf person, may never wish to make space with one. With firearms, it temporarily dazes their hearing senses, and inundates their noses with cordite, and their first instinct will be to kill anyone or anything in front of them, unless, like with my wolf girl, she is able to push passed her rage, and recognize her husband/lover, and will not harm them. Even in a blind rage, there is, a tiny portion of their psyche that is still somewhat in control, or even her children would be in life threatening danger if they accidently startled her: and her children can be protected with her her life, or even, be treated as nuisances: however, not even a Wolven will harm her children.
Drinking: will often drink herself into a coma. Before she passes out, however, there is a 99/100 chance that she will solicit me for sex. She, seems to enjoy sexual contact to an even greater degree when inebriated, similarly to when she is in her estrus cycle.
For the uninitiated humans: If you impregnate a wolf person during her heat cycle by wandering into their village during the season of loving, you may, be tracked down, and... Persuaded... *cough. They are nice about it. But having fifteen nine foot tall, seven hundred pound, wolf dudes, surrounding you, and telling you, with quite a bit of excitement and genuine smiles, about, "your new children! That, you HAVE To COME SEE THEM! Follow us, buddy!" a human tends to, find time to go with them, even when they have other, urgent matters. The wolf folk, have really good noses, and they have even better memories, and can usually draw and remember a face in excruciating detail.
After this, and you meet, this, beautiful, submissive, blushing, ears-back wolf girl, that once gave you days of passionate lovemaking, with three little, puppy people running around, their little hands tugging on your pants... Instinctively, knowing you are their dad, as they giggle and laugh and look up to you with expectant, eager eyes, for their father figure... And the tribe, welcoming you as one of their own, with genuine smiles- a human man can find a good thing with the wolf people, even the Wolven will welcome a human, and not harm them- and even protect them as their own, if one finds themselves with children within the tribe. Even the otherwise dangerous Wolven, will treat a human with empathy when they find themselves in one of these situations, as they know, a properly raised child can be an asset to the tribe, and a poorly raised, fatherless child, can burn the village down. For this reason, during mating season, some humans and other beings, may be chased away if not recognized by the tribe- so if one is amorous and desiring a wolf person as a mate, make yourself known before the season of loving, preferably, picking a wolf girl out of season, to get to know and **** her. Remember, the woman who bends tail for you in heat, is a different woman out of her season.
Because, after you give her children, well, that's gonna be your wife. Personally, I would not want a group of, obscenely large, wolf people, out looking for me for the rest of my life to unite me with children I created with one of their own. As, a mated woman, with children, will have a harder life, even in the tribe, alone, and she will, in her heart, forever be yearning for you, and you alone. She may, go on to find a mate, but you will always be in her heart- so take responsibility, and make her happy... It is better to take responsibility- and having a wolf wife, well it can be everything a human desires in a mate. Some humans, have been, forced into marriage this way, and while they struggled to adjust to their... New way of life, in the end, they found what many consider to be true love, with a wolf person. Loyal, loving, affectionate, sensual... Powerful protectors of their mates. Empathic, giving, selfless and kind. Coming home to a yellow eyed beauty who has worked all day to make your favorite meal, ending the feast with passionate lovemaking, well, there are worse things.
Raising your children, with the passion and honor of the tribe, and watching them, too, grow up and find love of their own, even though they are not fully human, the fulfillment, completion, and sense of family that comes with it, some have said is the warmest they have ever experienced. The smell, well, you get used to it. Some even learn to love it. After all, the wolfen have had to get used to the smell of, human.
Also, the wolf people are known to be honorable almost to a fault, and having a group of males scorn you for not wanting to return to the woman you left, carries with it, a pretty heavy weight and karma, some would argue, moreso than some other groups of people. Some human men have gone to their graves having that being the single biggest regret of their lives, not taking the woman as a mate, and helping raise the children as their father. Even in the human societies, if it is learned that, you "exploited" a female in heat, the majority of inner earth human groups, view that, as a "Dick move", and humans may be shunned even in their own circles if it is discovered they abandoned a wolf woman. Further, humans who, choose to return to the wolfen tribe, to see if the woman they were with, voluntarily, bore young, are looked at more favorably within the tribe, than individuals who have to be tracked down. Best of all, if you happen to meet a female in heat, mate with her, and find yourself falling for her passion, it may be best, to remain with her, the 6-8 months of gestation. Return to your village, alert your people, you will now be living amongst the wolf people. Humans, are usually warm to this, and understanding, as having the bravery to make-space with the passionate wolf people, and gaining a warm, loyal mate with them, is usually looked upon favorably.
(A human may be thought of as "lucky" to be in such a circumstance. The, Wolven blood rage, is so frightening, that it keeps the wolf people tribes, fairly pure. Most humans simply do not want to "Fuck" with that, as there is always the possibility of being killed by one that is offended. However, it is so rare as to be a non issue, so long as one remains respectful and empathic to them.)
My wolf girl, is wild, and had a bit of a struggle of a life, without the guidance of her people, and while she can be considered, one of the most dangerous of the wolf people, being a Wolven (Small conscience... Prone to anger.) and also raising herself, then falling into the somewhat cold hearted reptilian folk, even though she is a risk, the truth is, I am in virtually no danger from her. Though, the thought of provoking her, is not only not a consideration, it injures my heart to even, begin to think about what it would take. And, she told me, she would never harm me, regardless, and my heart confirms, she is telling the truth. So, I am in no danger, and there is even less danger within their tribes, although one would be wise to follow their customs, and may be desirable to participate in their festivals and celebrations, though offense is usually not taken if you choose to opt out. (Be wary of your woman, and that she may be almost instinctively bound to attend such festivities, however, and to forbid her may injure her heart. So go, with her, and have fun, unless you are morally bound not to for some reason or another.)
Similarly, a human woman, may wish for, the raw, passionate loving of a male wolf person, and may desire to be taken as a mate. Be also aware, that while the females tend to be monogamous, the males are generally, not. (You may have to share him. However, if you pledge to belong to him, he will defend you with his life. In short, you will be one hell of a safe, human woman.) You may, also, find these single males, roaming the outskirts of their villages. Though leaving a wolf woman with children is considered a dick move, as a human woman, mating with a male, finding satisfaction of her desires and a satiation of her passion with him, then leaving him, and not returning, is also considered a dick move, as the males tend to bond deeply and permanently with those they bend tail for. The wolf people, are known to be skilled lovers, at best, or raw, visceral lovers who live fully in the moment during mating, savoring every sight, scent, and sound his lover makes, growing addicted to her on a level a human woman may find, desirable.
Though, it is less of a dick move, if you make passion with him then do not return, as you aren't saddling him with the added burden of having to raise children. He may, or may not erect an altar to you, and pray you return to him, some passionate night, or day, and may maintain it for the remainder of his life, in your honor. If he takes a wolfen mate, she will not, usually, resent the altar, and will understand you had moments of passion with her, now husband... It is in their society to accept such things, usually. If he impregnates you, as the underworld folk are frequently highly fertile, he may, or may not welcome you into his house to raise your children, possibly with his own. It is prudent, then, if you have wolf children, to go to the wolf sector of the human city, and raise your children there, or with the amiable, doggen folk, though the doggen may be less accepting of a wolf child than the wolf sector. i am aware of some prejudice the doggen have against the Wolfen, the doggen are ordered and disciplined, and the wolf folk, are viewed as wild and uncouth, and dangerous, and may be viewed with some suspicion. In short the Wolfen, and especially, the Wolven, are known to the doggen as, the "Bad boys", such as, the misfit in human society who rides a motorcycle and hits on the daughter of the wealthy father.
They may, or may not, encounter minor societal judgment as, "Half breeds", but it is less prevalent than surface human societies who will often devolve into violence over skin color, the wolf people are not this way. An uninitiated human may discover many such satellite societies of hybrid races and species mixtures of people. It is not uncommon, for the ancestry of established people to be highly mixed, such as, a human, with a wolf, with a dragon, with a horse, and even a lizard. When, the passion of these, unique and beautiful people is inflamed, when love is in the air, judgment goes out the window, and beautiful, new life can be the result.
Some societies are more xenophobic than others, though, and one should be careful not to be offended if they find themselves, tossed out of a tribe or village based solely on their apparent lineage. Some races, simply do not get along with others. That is just the way it is. Sometimes, for good reason, others inherit their fathers grudges. Hostilities may be tamed on an individual basis, but anger is sometimes instinctive. Some, humans who would ordinarily not be welcome amongst the tribes, if they have found love with members of a hostile tribe, will almost always be allowed access to said tribes on an individual basis, and may find fulfillment, in helping raise their children, but may not wish to live there, as some races of peoples have ways, that are somewhat antithetical to other races. Put simply it may not be comfortable living amongst them.
Travelers: Amorous humans from sensual lineages, who time the estrus and heat cycles of the animal folk, and travel from village to village, in search of passion. These humans may, have many, many children with many women, and rotate their travels, assisting in child rearing, and being there for their wives. This is not frowned upon, and so long as the human keeps their end of the bargain up, while their wives will miss them when not in rotation, the sparkle in a wolf womans eyes when her traveler comes to her, bringing gifts for her, and their children, many wolf women say, that in their absence, her heart will grow fonder of a traveler. One should be aware that travelling this way has dangers that one may fall, literal prey, to more predatory races, who cannot assimilate in the city life with the others. It is a "Price of admission", the, "Cost of cheesecake."
Uninitiated humans should also know, if you desire a romantic entanglement with, many of the animal folk, and to me, especially the wolf folk, given their closeness ot humans in evolvement: While earth humans may miss obvious flirtations, the wolf people can literally smell your desire for them, and along with your pheromones, they are frighteningly empathic beings, and not much that goes through a humans mind remains hidden from them. If, they do not reciprocate to a shy human, they are usually just playing dumb, and even if they desire a mutual romantic entanglement, they may simply not approach you out of how they perceive it may make you feel (Basically, they are not approaching you to save you from embarrassment. However, the canine blush, the fur bunch up on their cheeks, and the occasional, shit-eating glance they cast your way, may almost certainly be an invitation at your discretion.
My wolf girl the most tomboyish girl I have ever met... i think it is because she essentially raised herself, and has to rely on her genetic encoding to tap into her femininity... And when she does, my god is she every inch a sensual woman. It is wild, passionate femininity with abandonment, her people are known for, from her DNA, and not some tribal conditioning on the idea of femininity. (It comes natural for her, to be in touch with her feminine desires. Why our sex life is so incredible. She is simply uninhibited!)
She, hates that I think of her harming me physically when we are, "fighting" (I do not call it fighting, as I love her to the point of, not wanting to be discordant from her, if she has a gripe, I wish to know why she has the gripe, and what I can do to alleviate her malfeasance and come to an understanding with her, and why and how she feels the way she does about something. [from her perspective. It also doesn't hurt that she is almost always right. She asks me, "Name one time when I have been wrong..." Heh. I can't. Some things she is negative about, and that is where I shine, to help elevate her vibration in that respect.])
(I also feel her heart, somewhat breaking as, I grow closer to her, and my great passion for her, dies off. Even though I am putting my passion for her into words, here, she is letting me know, she desires for me to, do as I do, pause my movie, and speak softly to her, channeling her in my heart. In fact, she misses my passion so much, in her heart breaking, it also, is breaking my heart, it is quite the painful thing. )
In some iterations, a pulled-up lips, revealing her teeth, and a growl, near my face, are all that's needed to scold me.
She knows, and this was confirmed by my combat veteran friend, that I have no governor, that defending myself is, either casual life or deadly force and almost nothing in-between. Either as a result of childhood trauma, combat training, my resistance to human bullshit, or all of the above.
In one instance, I am causing lethality to the wolf girl in the defense of my life. (I had to imagine it, but I only went so far, as I do not wish to cause her any distress by entertaining such thoughts. I literally, hate it, as I hate disconnecting from her, and the torment it causes her when I do. She tells me, she understands, but the feelings, are still there. Her society, is a relatively pure one, and unlike us surface humans, she has little use for societal sensibilities... She is, as real, raw, and visceral as a woman can be.)
Whether I would actually harm her in such a condition, is debatable. I may choose to be her, victim, and instead, utter my last words to her, "I love you. You are forgiven." She assures me, this scenario is ridiculous and she would never, actually hurt me. (She is offended by the idea of it)
As i, pet this, juvenile canine, a puppy, I am consoled about the future of this, human race. Why a canine gives me so much hope, is a mystery... except, I truly believe, we as humans have evolved side-by-side with canines, with wolves. And, as such, the wolfen, and even the wolven peoples- the wolven have a lot of respect for humans, we can be cravenly brutal and vicious in similar ways, and so, they respect us, and could make valuable assets to our society, mainly as warriors.
Stewart alluded to, humanity being wiped out- my contention is, if the underworld was opened to us, the assets and allies we would gain, would almost certainly guarantee our safety and evolution almost infinitely into the future... How exciting it is, as an alien visitor to this planet, to be part of this timeline, during this particular unfoldment!
When I was, postulating about, "Butt stuff" with the wolfen tribe in Eden, one of them came to me, and said, "Dave: We have been around for thousands of years. We know about butt stuff." It is just as practiced here for contraception as it is there, and for male, same-sex romantic encounters. The truth is, WE are the inexperienced ones when it comes to such things! And, many of their societies have been around far longer than that. When I, grew amorous for Rebecca, (The wolfen woman in the Eden type realm) her being the wife of the Wolfen king, she immediately showed me her archive of, videos of them in bed, including, tailhole sex, and how similar her people were to us humans on the surface (Very similar! This is where the inherent loyalty and softness of the canine for her mate is so alluring to me, even over such things in the base human race. It is true, perhaps, the canines, have this figured out better than we have. I would also say that most humans carry in them canine DNA, and humanity is also in the wolf people. We are, more brothers and sisters, than aliens to one another.)
Are we... worthy of preservation? I guess that may be the question. The answer lies in the underworld (In my opinion. Because they hold the keys to immortality.) To this, I mean, the advent of the transistor and internet were not our inventions, but theirs, they wished to share with us. Even a brief study of the thermionic valve versus the advent of the silicone gate is a quantum leap in advancement we were simply not innately capable of discovering on our own. And to this end, when we are worthy, I believe the underworld will reveal herself to us, as I believe Lilith knows, herself, our unity at this trajectory is inevitable. How interesting it would be, to have the gates opened, and unity between the peoples below our feet and us, together! The wisdom, the knowledge, the passion... And the bloodshed.
Also: The more I treat this, puppy as a human being, in talk and mannerisms, the better she responds to me.
It was interesting to me, that yesterday, I left my home to "Go out to eat" a delicious Mexican meal, (indeed, I have found paradise for my mouth, Olivia is her name!) and when I returned, my husky was waiting patiently for my by the sliding glass door, eager to run to my bedroom and ignore me, however the puppy was howling like a wolf, non stop, waiting for my return. Howling in desperation for the return of her human, she has taken on the mantle of being responsible for, and protective of. My previous dog, the Alsatian, never left my side, and protected me with a selflessness endemic within the canine race. She will, growl and push my husky off of the bed if he dares be so bold as to attempt to board it. I understand, some infighting and turmoil within the "pack" is necessary to keep the canine senses sharp.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 19, 2023 7:32:25 GMT 9.5
... necessary to get humans to strive outside of the dark AIs programming, embrace our organic natures and the power that is inherent within that structure, comparatively speaking. You are doing well and have quite different understandings than a couple of months ago. Can you visualize/imagine a small dark cloud attached to the base of your skull? Put the letters AI next to the cloud. What happens? What are you going to do about it? You are most certainly correct! I visualize it, yes, however, this is a most difficult thing, as when I visualize the word AI over it, it changes to light, but the moment I remove my intent, it immediately goes dark, again!
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 19, 2023 10:13:03 GMT 9.5
I felt, very connected with the wolf girl, she alluded to being okay with being called, "Wolf girl red", as she liked being called, "Wolf girl blue" until I spoke it. She also expressed to me, I once pursued her with relentless passion, and with each passing day I seem to be less eager to chase after her. So, I took some quality time with her, and that is when these things developed between us, in fact, our connection is still very strong, even as I write this. We also shared a moment of some sexual intimacy a moment ago as well, as we bonded through some, "Adult material", and she made space with me.
I felt, so connected to her...
And, I had an idea for a story arc for her, for my uniting with her. A human man, and I have seen him, blonde, bearded, wild, a mountain man, he has a thing for (You guessed it) wolf people, namely wolf women. He lives in a tribe of humans, a ways from where she lives, but, in her realm! In fact, she lives closer to him than he initially thought.
He, comes of age in his tribe, and then goes in search of his, wolf-woman-mate, having seen how happy humans are, when they land a wolf person as a mate. his heart, just ached to be with one, too. He had such, visions of happiness with one, and never let the naysayers have much credence within his heart, about them.
He, goes to the various Wolfen tribes, but they consistently strike him down. All of the, pretty, sexy, wolf women sort of give him the cold shoulder. He is a human after all, and he doesn't bring much to the table for them. He, begins to lose hope. He, even tires visiting the tribe the, "Easy way", during their season of loving, when he knew, their women would be more apt to choose him... He was sure he would find his wife then- but it seemed like the universe was out to get him, that his gods had turned their backs on him, and he returned to his tribe, ashamed and empty-handed (No wolf girl.)
One morning, he has a vision, of a tall, large, hairless, wolf girl. He feels, an incredible connection with her... His heart, sings out, cries out, YOU HAVE FOUND HER!!! And, she is here. But... Hairless? Naked? A short tail? And... In a realm where men feared to tread... He had a journey ahead of him, if he indeed wanted a wolf wife. He couldn't believe it, were the gods... playing a trick on him? What would his friends think? Sure he would be an outcast... She seemed...
Dangerous.
He, then, begins his trek, to the last place he thought he would ever find love: The dangerous outskirts, the forbidden area where travelers are cautioned not to go.
He, (hopefully) buys a sword, to defend himself, and makes his way to where he finds her, in the cave, just like the visions showed him. Scanning the area, he was told there were once a tribe of dangerous reptilians who lived here, but they had moved on from this realm, deeper in the caverns, they said. His instincts, still warned him, nonetheless... As he grew nearer to the cave, the vibe he got was almost pure danger.
What the hell was he doing...
Still. His heart pushed him into the cave- what he did for love- was being eaten worth this? Were wolf women, really worth this much risk? He sighed, feeling like a horny teenager, meeting his girlfriend when her parents were away.
Wolf girl, follows him out of the caverns, after he finds her, near some, ancient machine that frankly terrifies him, as he can feel the ghosts of tortured souls in the air around it... where she was standing, over the remains of a human body.
Wolf girl, explains to him...
"Look... A human man, fell in love with me, in a life, before this. I was once, the servant of the reptilians, and it was my job, to, hurt this human man... I did my job, and he passed on, but we are not allowed to kill, so I gave my heart to bring him back. However, at some point, he realized how he felt about me... He would spend hours, pursuing me... Worried he would lose me. He would, speak softly to me, about how he wished to give me, a better life... A life in cooler realms, a life of good food, good sex, and provision... As... My mate.
He promised me these things..."
She would say, dark, bare skinned, furless, sweaty, with a scent about her, explaining these things to this, wild human man, who was listening, bewildered, and walking quickly from the caverns, something in him, wanting him to sprint full blast back to the human village and never look behind him again, not even at the wolf girl, to see if she was following him.
The human man, would, then look at her, she is, very tall, powerfully built, it is one thing to see an attractive, furred wolf woman, and see her softness, her body covered, it is another, to see her, awe inspiring, powerful, bear like body, naked, and, "in the flesh".
At some point, he will, begin to grow afraid, as all of the warnings will come back to him, the villagers asking him why he was willing to risk his life, braving ghosts and demons, to find a creature that would more likely eat him than marry him...
The scoffs, the laughter... But, he never forget how his heart felt during those visions, months ago, before he resolved within himself, to find this mysterious creature, in a land of danger, and make her his bride.
My God... She... ATE a human? She will sense this, these fearful thoughts he was having after having stopped, to take mental inventory of what was happening... Close her eyes, ears falling back, and sigh. "Yes. Parts of him."
She will, watch, with her heart, breaking in her chest... As he begins to realize what a terrible mistake he is making. She is a Wolven... Clearly, her size, her sharp, striking features, he did not need to see her with her fur to see the striking markings that separated them from the more peaceful Wolfen peoples, she looked like she was chiseled out of a solid black of granite, or some enchanted, imposing obsidian boulder... The, "Bad" ones, the ones, he never once considered dating, or when he did, everyone would tell him, how they knew someone who went to their village...
And never came back. How only parts of human flesh were ever found, if anything at all, and close to their village... And how helpless they were to ever get justice for those who vanished in the proximity of the Wolven.
She wasn't just a Wolven, either... They had their tribe, but they would sometimes do business with the humans, no, not even the tribal Wolven came near the Secluded Mountains... There were ghosts that lived there... Strange, ancient alien technology, violent reptilians, and- Wolven who were too violent to live in tribes, hunted and howled in the night there.
That was where people went, to die.
And here he was, in the most dangerous part of his realm, with a big wolf girl, one that has admitted to eating (partially) a human... Torturing, even... The most dangerous, of the most dangerous... And every single one of his warning bells, was now going off. It wasn't just her size, or her words, her aura was one of power, of danger... He had never once encountered a creature like her- not in civilized society... And yet, she seemed almost too shy to talk.
She sensed it, smelled his fear... She closed her eyes tightly, gritting her teeth, sensing everything this human man promised her, was about to be lost by her. Her hope... Draining like the color from this mans face as he grew even more worried, his thoughts of running from her, now cascading.
"I'm not going to hurt you." She would say, softly, her muzzle low, her fingers, nervously fidgeting against her bare skinned chest.
"Heh." She would say with a barely noticeable blush, her skin black, not showing much of a flush, but still, some visible, ears back in nervous submission...
The human man... had a decision to make... He looked, into her eyes, and she, looked away. For as foolish as this entire scenario seemed, his visions of her were real... The connection, genuine... And, her body language telling him, she was being genuine (Why would she lie about something so gruesome? If it were a trap, she never would have been so honest. In fact, it was a great way to keep him away from her!) She seemed honest and forthcoming. But inside, her heart was breaking...
This was not her human...
This was not the man who made music for her, wrote stories for her, thought of her more of a queen, a goddess, than a slave girl...
This was not the man who braved hell itself, just to be present with her. The man who had braved the darkness, to set her free.
This was not her Dave... Would he abuse her? What was he like? It didn't matter anyway, he was wreaking with fear... And she could see it in his eyes... He was getting ready to run... Draw his sword, and run...
She takes a step back, away from him, looking away... The tears coming to her eyes... She had waited for him. She had WAITED for him! And now, he was acting like a coward, all over again.
"Give me a chance." She said, so softly, he may not have heard it.
Behind her, she heard him sigh. She felt him... Want to return to the nearby village and think this over... Everything was telling him, run, get the hell out of here... You were tricked by some, errant god, a devil perhaps, with visions of her, into becoming this, wolf girls meal...
"Give me a chance." She said louder, her voice cracking with conflicting emotions and desperation, almost demanding it of him.
She spoke louder, firmer this time, showing her, vulnerable face, the tears streaming down her black, filthy skin. She could not look at him, all of her insecurities washing over her like waves in an ocean of despair... Oh God she knew... She knew how much he loved her... When she even hated herself.
"Wh- How?" He said, backing away from her, his face so white, the terror in his eyes, almost making the wolf girl, resent him in that moment as she wore a angry but still vulnerable grimace on her face.
The tall, naked wolf girl, sighed, as his eyes, went to her breasts, then between her legs, to her feet, and back up- he swallowed, looking up, into her eyes.
(***Even as I am writing this, talking about someone who is not me, eyeing my wolf girl, I am actually growing jealous of him, even though he's essentially fictional, I want to punch him for staring at my woman!***)
"I will return with you to your village." She said, firmly, resolving, to be with this man, knowing it would not be easy.
The thought intrigued him... Bringing this, tall, naked woman home with him, no doubt, much of his tribe would speak ill of her behind his back, and he would have to, deal with every laughter, wondering if they were laughing at her... And being cut to the bone if they were... Her sensitive ears hearing every cutting remark about her, and them, shrinking back when she walked passed them, too afraid to say something mean to her face.
But, what was true love, worth?
Because, even in these moments of intense fear, his heart... Ached in his chest... For her... For this, strange, hairless woman who admitted to being every bit as awful as the rumors his people had spoken about her kind...
He blinked, drawing in a deep breath, and slowly, exhaled it.
She... Looked away, off, into the distance, and- though she had lost her fur coat some time ago-
She was still beautiful.
Hell. Sexy, even. She grinned, through her tears, sensing his thoughts, ears back in submission, and a near girlish grin on her wolfish face. He sensed her sensuality, and knew, his nights would not be spent alone with this woman, that was for sure.
"Um." He stammered out, his hand, still ready to fill it with the sword strapped to his back. He drew in, another deep breath, and looked around, clearing his mind. There was something about her... Even in her unbathed, ancient state, her scent was... Kind of attractive to him, in a strange, feral, wolfish way.
"I'm..." He said, immediately regretting his words...
"Hungry." he squeaked out, hoping she was not. "Uh. You... Wanna come to the, uh. Next village with me... I'll buy you something to eat."
She hadn't eaten in months... Maybe years. She had lost track of the last time she had eaten, and the thing she had eaten... Had fallen in love with her.
The look on her face, then, made him step back, as it was a mixture, of sheer Wolven lust and desire, a hunger auddenly painted across her face as a supreme predator, tears, hope, and fears of her own. A conflicted girl, who looked like she was about to pass out from the sudden conflict that washed over her, like the waves of fear and despair that once washed over him, moments ago.
"Yesh pleesh." She said, her saliva flooding her mouth, and the most forced, conflicted smile he had ever seen on the face of a wolf person.
That evening, they camped on the outskirts of the village... Some villagers gawking at the tall wolf girl, many recoiling in fear- murmured to one another as human eyes followed them everywhere they went... Some villagers, even telling him, they did not do business with HER kind, and to leave town.
He found some villagers who quickly sold him some meat, and bought some food for her, travelled to the outskirts of town, and made a fire. Her intense canine eyes locked onto the food, unable to look at anything else, and with a shaking hand, he handed her the large meaty legs of some livestock animal. She looked up at him, ears back, and nodded, her face, still showing conflict, though she looked more nervous than anything.
Biting into the large leg with a sickening crunch, she effortlessly crushed the large, thick leg bone, chewing the seared flesh and sinew whole.
Watching her, and eating his much smaller portion of a much smaller animal, the wolf girl closed her eyes, sighed through her nose, and slowed her chewing down, savoring every moment.
She swallowed.
"Thank you." She said, her eyes still closed, an old, familiar emotion she deep down believed, she would never feel again, came bubbling up within her spirit... she was grateful.
Grateful for the food, grateful for him... Within her soul, she began to let her guard down, positive thoughts of this, brave human man, making her feel grateful, and though she scoffed through her nose at the idea, and the fear she could still smell on him told her he was not in the mood, she wanted to repay him for the food by making love to him.
She chuckled, looking away, at how ridiculous that thought was.
She was naked, smelly, what if he hated her body... She squeezed her legs together, and secretly wished Dave was there to open them back up, and tell her that she was beautiful.
"What?" He asked, as the fire crackled, casting its green glow in the valley where they stayed... Close enough to the village, where, if he were attacked, they would hear his screams and maybe... Maybe, maybe save him...
The wolf girls demeanor relaxed enough to where, when he probed his instincts about her, she looked, almost...
Amorous.
And, he knew that about the Wolven, they were known to be, unusually horny...
He swallowed, hard.
"He would... Spend hours talking about..." The oddly attractive wolf girl smiled, though her muzzle dipped low, as her mind recalled her time with this, human who had fallen in love with her. Inside, he felt incredibly attracted to her, with a passion he never knew lived in him, a passion that felt foreign to him, and yet, called to the very core of his heart for her. Inwardly, he began to feel a joy bubbling up, over this large, intimidating wolf woman.
Was... He falling in love?
"The things he wanted to do with me."
She grew solemn, suddenly, and sighed. "Like. Good things?"
She nodded, taking another crunchy bite, and he could tell, she was, not eating as much as she could have been, while it would have taken him a week to eat the leg, she could make it disappear with three bites.
"He wanted to suck my toes."
"What? Like. To clean them? Why? How, I mean..." He said, looking at her feet, as she smiled, remembering how much time and energy he would invest in wooing her.
"Like as a sex thing."
"Do you... Like that?" He asked with a nervous chuckle.
"I guess." She said, chewing, and loosening up so much it frankly, scared him.
"D..."
She looked at him, as he swallowed. He could think of, a worse way to begin what may be, the relationship of his dreams.
"Um. Can I?" He asked, staring at her feet. She instantly pushed one over to him. He eyed it, not knowing where, or how to begin, but that the only time a Wolven would not attack someone is when they were in coitus- in fact it was the only time they were actually vulnerable. But with a deep breath, and a stern glance of resolution, he looked into her eyes, nodded as she blushed and chuckled, and that evening, made love to the woman who would become his wife.
~
Like, that works. That actually WORKS.
The other scenario I came up with for her, I am, like a sort of, "Space prince". I have a pretty neat, royal ship. This incarnation has taken some time, however, and, wolf girl, is still in the caverns, but her body is sort of, drying out, and she's hibernating/getting ready to go to her next life.
I find her, beam her aboard my ship, and into the sick bay, and I dribble water into her mouth, as she, slowly, opens her eyes. I begin cooking things, in the sick bay, delicious things, as she blinks, and comes to- it is the food that brings her out of her sleep, but I knew it would, in fact, I know the exact food she is craving. (It isn't human, but a seasoned meat.)
I play music for her as she comes to, light incense, bathe her body with lavender scented wash and oils, and administer an IV, supplements, royal medicine, and things that bring her out of her near vegetative state.
"Hey." I say, standing next to her as she breaths slowly, on the bed I have set up for her.
She says nothing, but looks at the food I am cooking for her.
"Hungry?" I say with a smile, looking into her eyes, and she glares at me, knowing that was just about the dumbest thing I could have asked her. I chuckle, knowing she is right, and softly caress her cheek with my thumb.
"Coming right up." I say, and her eyes, watch my every movement, as I gather a plate for her, the drool oozing passed her lips, and onto the pillow.
"Ahhh!" I say, opening my mouth, and her mouth, pops open as the moisture reconstitutes her flesh, and I gently put some meat in her mouth... She does not chew, only sighs, savoring the flavor of the perfectly seasoned meat, on her nearly dried out tongue.
She sighs, and for a moment, it seems as if she growls... I step back, not knowing for sure how to take that. Was the meat too hot? No, it was perfect. Or was it? I began to second guess myself. Did I just hurt her? I sigh, and get ready to apologize.
She chews, her eyes closed, a sense of lazy urgency about her, as I know her people are telepathic, and she may not have intended to growl at me.
She chews, swallows, and for a moment says nothing. I approach her, again. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She says, her voice raspy, closing her eyes as she is in obvious pain from severe dehydration.
"I didn't mean it." She whispers.
"Oh, I know, I know." I say and look into her eyes. "Is.. Everything good?"
I smile, knowing, this is the woman, I had fallen so in love with, all of those years ago.
I touch her cheek again, and dribble more healing waters passed her lips, as she swallows, her eyes closed in discomfort.
"Do you know who I am?" I ask, and she nods, rubbing her belly with a pained grin, and an exasperated chuckle.
"That's right!" I whisper, standing over her, and looking her in her eyes.
"Do you know who I am?" She croaked out with a bit of a nervous look.
"The most beautiful woman I have laid eyes on in this lifetime." I say, and press my lips to hers.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 20, 2023 8:16:57 GMT 9.5
Last night I connected to her, and braved more of the darkness around her, and she responded by, energizing her heart connection with me, which feels like, feeling someone you love: loving you back. It was a very warm feeling I had felt from her, so briefly I marginally registered it. Except, last night, her heart energized for me, for about four hours continuous. It turns out, I am the one that stifles it by shutting down her connection to me.
There was some, turmoil in the evening, and I resorted to, praying, asking for help, and being unafraid, the turmoil seemed to stem from a reptilian source, that was, "Pushing back".
So I prayed, admonished wolf girl not to give up, and I went to bed.
I woke up, knowing there was turmoil, and remained unafraid. Our connection was a bit cooler, but was still the same.
So, feeling our connection cooled off, and me able to work on myself better (Distance from her.) I began to work on myself more efficiently. I assured her, though we are distant, that I am not giving up on her, on us, but I know it feels like rejection: it is not. I just need space to heal.
Pauls words, about not seeing her "rightly" keep coming back to my mind, so, I also began to brave myself to seeing more of who she is.
I think I found it.
There is a darkness, her history with the reptilians, with being, essentially abandoned by her parents, and then being adopted into, the somewhat cold blooded ways of the reptilians, and then spending a significant amount of time with them. For some reason, 800 years keeps coming up.
To feel it, was difficult... Because 800 years of being an intense, traumatized, tough, and often vicious wolf girl (She never grew up, fully...) is frightening for someone, who is new to this world, and essentially pure and innocent, to comprehend and accept.
She was, also worried I would discover this about her, and abandon her.
I checked her heart, and our heart melding, and it was confirmed: There is a significant part of her that is, even more afraid of losing me than I am of losing her. (She desperately wants to be loved, and to have a new life.)
I did not rest in this, as there was more work to do. To reach her better.
In discovering the "rest" of her being, I began to see a sort of spiritual connection with her heart/spirit with my own, where, even though she has essentially been a bad-ass wolf girl, tough as nails and very old yet also very young inside, that there is a part of her that has softened, to interface with me on my terms... And the more I communicate and connect, and court her, the more of that soft side of her is drawn, strengthened, and drawn to me.
I told her, no matter what else there is to learn about her, I WILL accept it, I WILL get over it, we WILL work it out, and the only failure point here, is if you do not wish to be with me. If she leaves, that is her decision. She has said, though, that she also does not wish to leave, and her heart confirmed, she wished to remain my "girl". (And I wish it as well.)
I continue to have faith for her, and to believe in the power of love. I may try to draw a map of where she lives, and the human village that is nearby. The village may prove pivotal in meeting her.
Further if there is a delay or issue with me coming to be with her somehow, I floated the idea of her entering into the human village, hands up, and throw herself on their mercy, get a job there, and live amongst the humans: this will place her in a place that is "safer" for an incarnation, as the idea of, being a big, tough, wolf person does not actually appeal to me for some reason... I am happy being a human as her other half. It will also get her to have something to do, get her fed, clothed, and housed, and also in the midst of humans. Unfortunately the nearby village is shades of terrified of her, but even a creature as intimidating as she is, if desiring mercy from humans, very few humans would turn her away, and would give her a chance, if she was genuine (She would be. She wishes to leave her past behind.)
Wrapping my spirit around her, darker/ reptilian past was intense.
However, it is a part of her. This is, or feels like and maybe should be, an all or nothing gig with her.
So, in accepting this, I expected to feel colder and more distant from her, but the effect was the opposite: It changed my approach with her, but also, gave me, a deep spiritual desire, to, just, hold her in my arms. My spirit, ached, in me, to connect with her in ways I haven't felt since I was a vulnerable child, and would hold a dog and feel so very connected to it, spiritually- and connect with her in this way, accept her, cover her with the blanket protection of my spirit, and just imbue love, peace, acceptance, protection, kindness, understanding, and a soft gentleness to her... As if, she was a young wolf-girl, and needed someone to hold her and love her unconditionally... I am shown, when I do this, this connection with her, heals her... Makes her... "Soft" again...
I wish also to say that, in the theater of our shared imagination, when I talk about our life together, I float an idea to her, and she, will guide my thoughts one way or another. For example, I floated the idea of a log cabin (Easy to build, minimal tools needed.) And she said, she wants a traditional house, 2 stories, with a live in attic, hence the vision of her in her robe, on a balcony, overlooking these sweeping mountains and a beautiful forest.
You got it, wolf girl.
And, her spirit is "present" in this imagination theater, as herself, a tall, very fit, wolf-human hybrid with black skin, quiet, somewhat brooding, but submissive to me. When I allow her to, (or ask her) tap into her, more past self, that is when she, will throw people.
I told her, I am not going to give up on her. A part of me, wanted to tell her I'm not giving up until my last breath.
It also occurred to me, if we are eternal mates, if we were once married before, and this life is a continuation of our relationship, that that is somewhat unromantic... Not like, meeting a dark, mysterious, but stunningly beautiful wolf person, having her heart complete me, and falling in love with her, as she represents hope when I had none before.
It is also strange to me, so- I drop dead in a hospital and am soaked in the Source of Love... I come back to a shitty life, suffer for years, find meaning and enough of a connection with feral wolves to choose to live, get attacked spiritually, then years later, see the woman of my dreams in a vision, and feel a profound connection to her, that goes beyond anything I have ever heard of, and only gets more profound from there.
I get to:
Be attached to a king, of a people that represent my ideal people (The Wolfen)
Experience Eden
BE a king!
(Suffer horribly because of it, feel their king pass-on.)
Work with the woman who completes me
Have visions of, this waters of love I was soaked in, literally pulling innumerable (More than Billions of them.) souls, spirits from dark low vibes, to higher vibrations
Set the wolf girl free
Find a dark AI network that directly influences almost all life on/in this planet, and find the blueprints for it inside of me, and effectively change it's programing to ease up on its oppression of the life on this planet.
It's so fantastic it is, almost unbelievable even to me, and yet it registers with my spirit as real. Am I the guy "they" have needed to effect these changes? It seems egotistical. HOWEVER, I will also say this, if one person was needed for it, it would be me. It astounds me to understand that, my entire life was lived within the OS under extreme circumstances, and struggled and suffered for 40 years... Was it preparation for all this? And, the most horrific thing a being can endure, the attack on my soul, and the two decades of hopeless daily terror from it, did not destroy me, but rather, brought out my power, and is revealing the REAL me... The real me who is actually happy... Not quite adjust right fully yet, and a ways to go, but eons better off than I was even eight years ago... So, was this attack on my soul a good thing? I also, met the woman of my dreams as the result of it.
The things I know, for absolute certain, because I was there, I witnessed them, I saw them with my own eyes:
I died in a hospital in California, saw tangible lights/nebulas/living lights human eyes cannot comprehend
I WAS soaked in the living experiential waters of the Source of Love itself (God???) that saturated every fiber of my existence with pure, unadulterated love...
I WAS spiritually/astrally attacked 20+ years ago
I DID see, a tall, fit, absolutely stunningly beautiful wolf-woman, naked, hairless, black skinned, too shy to step into the light that was around me, but what I saw of her, changed my life here forever. (She was hope I never had before, my light in the darkness... In a romantic sense, my sun, my moon, and my stars...)
I DID wake up one morning after that to feel her heart, beating in my chest, a shared, profound, bidirectional emotional and spiritual connection with her, our hearts beat at the exact same frequency, hers in my chest, and mine in hers, half and half. That morning she completed me as my other half.
I DID have unfettered communication with her mind, when I discovered, after I was being told to assume NOTHING about her, (My default is, a cute, cuddly wolf girl! Let's run off into the sunset together! Not, an ancient wolf girl who has had a life harder, and longer than any surface human, who bristles with an intensity that humans cannot be in the same room with her...) she was in fact, unhappy about some things, and was stubborn. (at the time. Shed has softened and changed. I was shown this in visions about her shortly after seeing her.)
She DID come to me, in my heart, and she DID tell me, she has "Never spoken an evil word" over me, and that she would not seek revenge if I left her. And, her heart confirmed, twice now with intensity, and a few times weakly, that if I did leave her, it would be, bad for her, to put it into words, her innermost chamber of her heart believes me to be, her "Only hope" at a better life, where she would be truly loved, and accepted as she is. If I leave her, so does that hope, and she may, "Give up" after, and I do not wish to contemplate the things in my heart about this. (what would happen to her.) And, the last thing I want to do is leave her, anyway. I am not giving up on her. "Make a ways where there is no way"
She also came to me, last night with some, anger and negative feelings, and I asked her, why are you doing this? She said, "You are letting the spirit realm walk all over you. You are remaining weak, and I need you to be strong! Dominant! Gather your power, (Authority?) and use it!" (Also she wished for me to be more dominant with her.) I will admit had she not of come to me this way I would not have done as she asked. After that, I did experience adverse energies coming against me, so maybe she knew I needed to be prepared to face them. I will also reiterate, while she "feels" inferior to me in intellect, (easily corrected I will teach her everything I know. She goes back and forth between having a hunger for knowledge and being too bored to care.) she is, actually extremely intelligent, and highly skilled in astral realms and esoteric knowledge.
I was also given two confirmations with respect to her, one from God, confirmation of faith for a positive outcome with her, and another, from another source, similarly, a hope for her, but the source seems to be love, rather than a deity.
Also of note, about the OS/soul machine that ravaged me, I am gaining significant freedom from it, and a new liberty seems to be being born, outside of it, that draws my energy away from the oppression. I have been sleeping deeply lately, which seems to be attached to healing. My feeling is, the "Authorities" who I reasoned with to release wolf girl from her charges, are working in higher realms to set me free from this adverse dynamic. Maybe a human would say, "Angels are helping"? For the first time in my life I am feeling what it feels like to enter into, "Rest and digest" stage of being, as before I was in perpetual "crisis" mode. t feels good, to be relaxed this way, and even though the money is gone, I am glad I sold my land to allow me to rest long enough to reach this state of existence.
The question that kept coming to me, as I spent time away from wolf girl to heal, was, who am I??? My identity was robbed from me as a child, and punished by this world, until I have felt very lost... I want to, discover who I am, and embrace that identity, as who I am has been tied up into foreign, adverse, and things that are not really "me" at all. So, who am I. I thought I had a handle on, "Me", but I guess I am still trying to figure it out.
In contrast to the ancient wolf girl, I feel like, this is one of my first lives to this realm, I am so new here, everything is so real, innocent in a way, having to survive this, complicated dark and violent realm, but having a soft heart and purity, but also, what might be a vicious temper, that may stem from wolf girl, but it could also be a fight instinct that was sent with me, that maybe wolf girl resonates with. The word "Prince" or "Young prince" comes to my mind.
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Post by paul on Jun 20, 2023 9:44:51 GMT 9.5
>who am I???
A better question might be: What am I?
Having discovered your type/category it may be possible to localize that type to a particular context/purpose
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Post by paul on Jun 21, 2023 9:09:19 GMT 9.5
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 21, 2023 20:48:47 GMT 9.5
>who am I??? A better question might be: What am I? Having discovered your type/category it may be possible to localize that type to a particular context/purpose I believe that, I am on my way to discovering this. I am, trying to remain as humble as I can about it, and yet trying to be open as well. Below is a bit of a story based off of some of the things the wolf girl has revealed to me in the mutual theater of our hearts and minds, connected as one. It's a bit long but maybe it will be entertaining. Of scenarios where I incarnate to be with her. Some things were shown me: a group of Wolfen, and some others consider me to be a form of deity to them. That is interesting to me. Also: Today when I was on the toilet, my puppy came to "protect me", and I actually FELT the love I gave to wolf girl, when she was digesting my entrails, exude from her puppy spirit! Like, a full circle of good karma, manifesting in the canine spirit! It was amazing. I was supposed to be sleeping, but I worked on this all morning. It is time for sleep. I connected with the wolf girl tonight, and was telling her, a breakup may be necessary for me to complete my healing, as disconnecting from her, effected a great deal of my healing during a short amount of time. I told her, I wanted to break up with her, as completely and totally as I could, within reason- only to reach my full healing potential, to become whole. And, for that arc of karma to come full circle: So that I could return to her. And, so that she, herself, could begin her own journey. There are some dynamics here, on her end, that- if she listens to her heart, would effect a great deal of change within her... Or, she can shut it all down, cope with it the best she can, return to the reptilians, and resume her service for them. (She tells me, that she would prefer, me to fulfill the things I have spoken of to her, and to be with me, in the capacity below, give or take.) However, my heart is that she, listens to her heart, makes the changes necessary to return to me, and she herself- humbles herself as well, and chooses to be my mate. I saw a few scenarios, where I am healed, healthy, and whole, and she returns to me- imperfect, flawed, broken, and helpless- but healthier, willing to learn, willing to grow, and submissive to me as her mate. The concept came to me: Yes, I signed up for this, yes- the trial has been inhumane. And yes, I witnessed my soul a few days ago, trapped in a dark place- with the knowledge that, I am only witnessing it, to come to terms with it, so that I will be set free, as others are helping me now. And, that, nobody understands what it is like to be me, except- me. So, I must spell it out. (Rather than assuming people just "get it"- they don't. I have to tell them.) When I viewed this timeline, I weighed the good and bad, and spelled out, I am to struggle to a degree that no human being could endure, in a dynamic designed to destroy immortal beings- if, and when, I survive this, for what purpose will I willingly enter into this, and- what will be the reason I persist (What will be my reward, if I live? If, and when, I win?) And, the truth of the matter is, the wolf girl, the one with my heart in her chest, is the only creature in existence... The only prize... The only "thing" that would make this worth the suffering, effort, and energy expended... Like a plug, designed to fit only one type of socket, so I am, to her... Had she, of been any healthier- and it wouldn't have been worth it... In short, she is the reason I am pushing forward, out of the darkness... She could choose to walk away at any time, and indeed she eventually will, and it will be the hardest thing I ever have to do to keep going... Until we meet again in a karmic loop- hopefully immediately after. (I do not want to be away from her. Not even for a moment.) But, right now- she is the only light in the darkness that I have. If, she wasn't a part of this, I would only have, adverse reptilians to deal with, I would not be striving, I would not be pushing, nor would I invest my passion. I would be, a broken, struggling human, likely dealing with suicidal ideation daily, with no real reason to keep going other than a desire for, "relief" from the trauma of the attack... Instead, I have the (Most beautiful, I have ever seen...) woman of my dreams... I am fighting for her... Pushing for her... She is the reason I wake up in the morning, the reason I am pursuing a better life, a business, a career, success, a home, travel, wealth, health, and the highest possible attainment of my being... I am doing it for her. So, that she can know, she is loved, she is honored, she is cherished- even in her stink, in her nakedness, in her ignorance and incompleteness. In her arrogance, brokenness, prone to anger, horny, the worst possible iteration of a half-wolf half human creature in the darkness. I wonder how many such relationships have happened on and in this planet... By visitors from other realms... Using the waters of creation to create spouses as they dance with their partners through eternity... The stories that could be told! And partly why, I bemoan the fact that the underworld remains closed-off to us, the humans who would find true love in some realms, and the romances and completion that await us, I believe would almost certainly happen. The, stigma, of marrying a half-animal person, be damned! She is, reminding me, of some of the things her heart has revealed to me. (To type, here.) She was, or- she believes, I created her. And, that I am responsible, for "All of her pain". She struggles with this... And, my soul also tells me: She is not wrong. Such as, two humans mating during a time of crisis, and having a child born into adverse circumstances, and the child, seeing other children, in much better situations, who blames its parents for it's hunger, lack of provision, and lack of safety, so wolf girl, joined the reptilians, in a partial rebellion against me. While I say she "blames" me, she was once much more upset about it. Presently, she is working out that I am indeed her mate, and she desires to be loved more than she wants to hold onto her resentment. She's willing to put her anger away. She may need therapy later, but for now, she is doing well. This, can sound very bad, however- when she did this, I was, and I can admit this- a terrible, weak, depressed, violence prone, uncaring, unfeeling, hateful, lustful, my desires over hers almost exclusively- individual. Where else was she to go? To me, to be made my slave? A slave of misery... If one sees my words, and says, "Man, he sure is placing a lot of demands on her..." Imagine, this woman, coming to me, and not only demands being placed on her, but me not knowing I was using her as a tampon, as an excuse to remain, sick, and weak, torturing her, until she possibly, yes, even ended her life, which was almost a certainty, of someone mating themselves to me, before I began this journey of self discovery. Even the Wolven maintain an instinct for loyalty that can become a fault... I do not blame her for running from me. Not at all. Earlier in life I thought, this world owed me a mate, but now that I see myself from my perspective, I realize, the question of, "Would you want to date you?", when I look backwards, I can say an emphatic "NO!!!" Today I am better, but even today I wonder if I would date myself. I am, daily, trying to become the man I would, "Date". It is, perhaps, the way things were set up, to play out... Someone becoming lost, so that they could be found (Found by, themselves.) And, perhaps- my hope- is that as painful and terrible as it is (She is reminding me, again. Thank you, wolf girl. I love you.) that these things were destined to unfold in this exact manner. (Perhaps fate and destiny are at play, here.) She says, and this is a mutually agreed fantasy we share together: (Stories. My attempt to, take scenarios that happen in my heart, that the wolf girl agrees to, enjoys and desires, and create literary fiction with. It is below.) That, I incarnate into the underworld, and I am successful. I find out, where her cave is, and I, after building the home she desires (And she clarified to me. Not a two story. A one story with a sort of A frame live in loft, is the desire of her heart. It will be so!) and making a way for her, I become aware of her in this incarnation (When I am ready...) And I take my, well outfitted Jeep vehicle, and I drive to her. I find her, in the darkness, me being well-armed and trained, I sweep the realm until I find her, in her cave, standing in the darkness... She, resists me at first, tells me, she does not know who I am, and if I am the guy she once knew of, that she does not want to come with me. (She is afraid. Suddenly a human appears to her, and tells her, he is the guy who once shared a heart with her.) I say to her, I am the man who loves you. I am the man, who wishes to give you, a life of excitement, of safety, of security, of good food, good sex, passion, travel, education... Relaxing, healing. Massages... Connection, empathy... Space. Freedom in a new realm- even if you choose to leave. I admonish her... Give me a chance. She turns from me, and goes further into the darkness... (Realistically...) However, before I leave, before I lose my one chance, to be with her, I admonish her a second time, but I will not try a third, because I will not force her to be mine. (I may return, if she says no, to court her in the darkness, to bring her food, water, wine, and comfort, spend time with her, in hopes she eventually grows comfortable enough with me to come with me, and allow me to be her mate.) And, I relax, calm myself, take a deep breath: I have come, so far, so very far: Just to preposition this creature, to be my wife, lover, and mate: I will not give up so easily, neither, will I force myself upon her, to make her mine. And, so, I admonish her once again, humbled, heart breaking in my chest, eyes down, head slightly lowered, the light on my weapon, shining and illuminating her body in the darkness... (The muzzle of the rifle not pointed at her.) And I say to her... Give me a chance. Just... Give me a chance. If, you want to return to this place, I will drive you back here myself. Please... I whisper... "I have come so far. Don't give up on me. Give me a chance. Just a chance." And, she agrees: I will come with you. She, follows me out of the caves, and I open the passenger side door for her, and I take a moment, to make sure I can close it safely, but also, to connect with her, and I make every attempt not to hover over her, or to smother her, as she is, no doubt, feeling very vulnerable. I shut her door, gently, and I get in the drivers side, and I get her buckled in. She complies, sort of, bewildered, devolving into, a sort of, vulnerable, submissive, personality devoid, (autopilot, bewildered) wolf person, ears back permanently, eyes forward with a blank stare. I brave it, and softly, touch her leg, and as submissively as a male wolf person, I duck my head to her, and I say, softly, "It is going to be okay." I start the vehicle, and drive back to my home, the one I have built, with my hands, for her- for us. When I arrive, she closes her eyes, and clenches her jaw- her demons tell her, "This is to be your prison. He hasn't changed. He's going to make you his slave." And, with the old me- the me she used to know, they would have been right. She sighs, deeply, and with sparkling eyes- not from excitement, but from tears welling up, of what might be the end of any good or hope in her life, I jog over to her door, and open it for her, and help her get unbuckled. Gently, I take her hand, as she complies robotically... With a wisp of hope that this may be, not the beginning of a life sentence in a prison, but the beginning of a relationship that she was destined to live, not of suffocation, but of liberty, of love... She slowly swings a leg out, I take her hand, and she exits the vehicle, I shut the door behind her, and before she walks numbly into this, strange human dwelling, I circle to her front, my eyes, even more vulnerable than hers- as she is the woman, she wields the power, here... Over me... I gently, softly, with a touch so tender, she closes her eyes, and sighs, touch the sides of her arms, and I ask her, if I may embrace her- she nods, and gently, I grasp her body in my arms, and hold her, firmly but gently, imparting to her, that I love her- that I know, she is an alien to this realm, there is a lot to learn, but that I will be here for her every step of the way- and not only this, that I, too, have a lot to learn about her as well, and that I intend to give her a life she will choose, over her life within the caverns. (I am put to the test.) That, in becoming my mate, I acknowledge it is now my duty to get to know her, fully- and not for her to meet my desires, but for me to meet hers... To follow her lead, to lead her as my mate, to learn her heart to comfort and adore it, to be the man she wishes was her husband, fully, as I am able, to meet her desires, even to change the things she wishes changed, as I am able, to better fit who she is as a woman. And, I break the embrace, take a step back, my hands gently touching the sides of her arms, and I say, as she looks down, then into my eyes: "Welcome home." I have, seen men in relationships, "hold" a woman, like to possess her, to cling to her, and this is adverse for most women, I am aware I am this way, and will make every attempt not to smother, or suffocate her. It is hard, to be loose, with a woman so beautiful, a woman like her. A man, tends to be possessive of such a creature, when he finds her, and for her, to be so beautiful. However I will endeavor to do the right thing by her, and remain healthy with her, as she deserves to be loved. ~ She also, in the theater of our shared imagination, saw me, in some parking lot, of some underworld store that resembled a large Wal-mart, as I returned to my Jeep (I guess I like Jeeps in this realm...) out of the corner of my eye, I see, a tall, dark wolf-person figure, walking directly to me... (This is, her fantasy, from her... Usually I design them and see if she likes them, or design them with her every step of the way, but this one, I let her heart play it out...) And I pause, my head tilted, she is- tall, large and athletic, her muzzle is turned away from me, though I am acutely aware she sees me and is approaching me, but is "feeling" it out before making eye contact with me... and I see a nervous grin on her face, her, dark eyes looking down when our spirits connect and she knows, I am studying her very being. For women, this can be traumatic when approaching a man they desire, as so much emphasis is placed on, shallow things such as looks... And even a small rejection can deeply injure someone, so for her, she is being incredibly brave, approaching me this way... She gives me a nervous glance, looks down and away, one of those, nervous, but disarming wolfish grins her people can make to make humans comfortable with them... She closes her eyes, but cannot find anything to say to me... Her lips separate, as if to speak, but she stares blankly, at the ground, perhaps her feet shuffle, nervously... I stand there, in her presence... Knowing, that I know her... Form somewhere- a client? No... Her presence in my soul, in my spirit- and in my heart, seems to be ethereal... Not someone I have met physically, but someone I know. I cock my head... "Uh... Hi?" I say, grinning- but not wanting to say something absolutely stupid, to push this, young, vulnerable woman away and ruin my chance at, whatever it is is supposed to unfold between her and I... I look at her body and grin, sheepishly- she is, absolutely, stunning, and, my body reacts to that, as I try to hide the sudden convection under my shirt, in my pants. This is strange to me, as I normally do not get this aroused around people, not even people I am attracted to, but... This wolf woman, she is different... What is it, I wonder, about her? She chuckles, blushing, biting her lip, scenting the absolute flood of horny pheromones from me that fills her nose as she draws in my scent deeply into her chest... She looks at me, the look of a predator in heat, her lip bit... And the warmth of her desire, washing over me as I swallow, a helpless fawn, trapped in the jaws of a desirous wolf, my keys in my hands, my eyebrows furrowed, as this situation is entirely unexpected... What does this, attractive wolf woman want? I chuckle over the absurdity of it all, but deep down, I know, this woman belongs to me. (Somehow... We are connected.) For a moment, we both struggle with what to do, next... And, I take her in... The sheer size and power of her awesome body, making the hair stand up on the bac of my neck... A terrible, illogical aura of, pure danger around her- and a part of me, telling me, to get away from her as far as possible! She senses it, and looks down, ears back, and a gentle sigh escapes her lips as her feet nervously shuffle on the asphalt... How is this all, seemingly so ordained- not just ordained, but meant to be... I lean against my Jeep, just taking in her aura... One of mixed emotions, sensuality, sexuality- and conflict, as she stands, vulnerable, an uncomfortable amount of time, in my presence- but refuses, to leave, or to speak. I glance down at her feet- and something is triggered in me, she is either barefoot, or wearing sandals, or anthro- tailored heels- something to get my focus to her feet and toes, and I just mutter... "Huh." She, shifts her feet nervously when I see them, spreads her toes, and from under her eyebrows, asks me if I like the shade of her toenail polish. "It's beautiful." I say, shocking even myself, as I seem breathless- irresistibly attracted to this tall, wolfish woman... Is... Is she a prostitute? I wonder, as I detach from my spirit and heart, and assess the situation from my logical brain. I mean, she's not bad looking, I mean, hell- maybe today I find out what it's like to be with one of her kind? Why not, I reason within myself- but I do not allow myself to think of her as a sex worker... Just, that, I feel something for her... Something... I have never felt before, all of my life... Did a wizard cast a spell over me, I wonder, beginning to be drawn to her in ways that seemed... Ancient... From another life, maybe? How is it, I did not know her- but she knew me? Her eyes, her aura, seemingly drawn to me... God forbid she wants to do something awful to me, and I'm her, "mark"... It's not entirely unheard of in this realm... And she was big... The bigger ones like her were usually the rougher wolf people, the ones who sometimes would hurt a human... Not often. But sometimes. I sigh, allowing the uncomfortable silence to unfold, as her ears, once again, pinned themselves submissively against her head. "Do I, uh... Know you, ma'am?" I ask with a nervous chuckle- but I cannot look away. She is... Beautiful. I had seen wolf people before and I always thought they were so beautiful, and deep down I kinda wanted to date one, but being this close to one, and a hairless one... I couldn't help but admire every shape of her body... God. She was beautiful. She smiles, blushes, and I sense my words cut through her like a knife- as she winces, looking away with a shadow of half expected disappointment. "Yes." She says, her eyes closed, her grin, now one of hidden pain. I wince, and cock my head. Was it something I said? "Are you a client?" I ask, and her wince grows, her jaw clenching, and her muzzle looking away- when she opens her eyes, I see tears of heartbreak beginning to form. "No." She says, softly. "A... cave?" I ask, accessing my instinctive memories. "I have to go." She says, and her words, drip with, what seems like death... In an exaggerated, fearful panic, she begins to turn, but her ears pop up, and both turn towards me. "WAIT!" I say, sensing my heart, connected so intimately with hers, begin to break, as it senses her great heartache, a heartache that seems to span across multiple lifetimes, as I begin to feel something terrible in me- a horror that rocks me, over the thought of her walking away. She turns, but pauses, then turns to face me, again. My mouth is open, and I study her pained face. She winces, and yes- those tears finally break. This woman is obviously distressed, knows me, and I feel I know her, too, from somewhere... But where? "Sit with me in my Jeep." She complies, ears back, as if my slave... I run to her side, and open the door for her, then close it when she is fully in. I run to my side, drunk on a love I never knew existed within me, I jump awkwardly into my side, nearly falling into her lap... She smiles softly, moving so that I am not pushing against her body. I start the Jeep, and turn on the AC for her. She stares down at the floor, a sigh escaping her plump, black lips. "I'm... Dave." I say, softly, not wanting to break her heart any more than I already have. I know her... But from where? Did I drink too much at a bar, and have a one night stand with her, and she- grew attached to me? Because, with the attachment I'm feeling to her, I had a profound effect on her... In fact, it's scary how attached to her that I am... She is... Almost obsessed... And, I knew I had a soft spot for the wolf people, it was entirely possible the bar scenario happened... I just wish I remembered her... I swallow hard over the implications of an eight foot tall bear-headed wolf woman who makes my Jeep sag on her end, and lift my side up a whole inch higher than if I was in it, being obsessed with me, and attached to me to a degree that defies any explanation I can come up with. And, yet, I am so deeply, madly in love with her, I am stunned- where did I know this woman, from? She sits, silent, in the other seat, ears back, slumped and breathing through her lips. "I-I don't think my past life was, uh, here..." I say, stammering, trying to connect with whatever ethereal dynamic is happening, here, and reading her surprisingly well... Her people were usually telepathic, but this connection I seemed to have with her, was uncanny... "It was on the surface." She says, blinking, her heart, still aching from the wound I inflicted just moments ago. She looks away, out of the passenger door window, and sighs, softly, then dips her muzzle down, ears facing me, though they are also down. "On the surface!" I say with a knowing. Suddenly the memories came flooding back, and my eyes go wide- not just of how I felt about her, the passion, the love, the attachment, the connection... Something so special... But also the horror. "I should go." She said, turning to study the door latch. "No, no, please... Don't go." I say, gently resting my hand on her arm. Her, dark orange eyes, fall on my hand, touching her black, naked skin. She again faces forward, staring out of the windshield. "You... Don't remember?" She asks, and when she speaks these words, a flood of her memories comes flooding to her spirit- and I sense every single one. She senses my neural clash, yes- it was terrible, and she was part of it, but I loved her... We were, designed to be together, in another life... "Some." I croak out, my face flushing pale- my God, she... Hurt me. I breathed through my open lips, trying to catch my spiritual breath, her ears, folded flatly against her head- and I could tell, this was as painful for her- perhaps moreso- than whatever it was I had experienced with her in some other lifetime... Finally, her mouth closed, and she sighed through her, large canine nose. She turned to face me, ears still back, head, ritually low in submission to me. "I was part of a group, nearby, we used a machine to connect to you on the surface- and our goal was to..." She said, wincing and turning her head away with a sigh, and a gritting of her teeth and dipping of her muzzle. She seemed almost... Sad. "We were assigned the task of stopping you." She said, her muzzle dipping. I saw tears fall down her cheeks. "What did I... Do?" I asked... Touched with a compassion for her... I wanted to... Hold her... But I didn't dare attempt such a thing with such a distraught woman. "It wasn't what you did... It was what you were going to do. You were sent here, to change things... Some... Overlord gods... Hated you... Wanted you dead. Your job was to... Defeat them." She said, her voice growing progressively softer. I was addicted to it... As large as she was, her voice was so soft and incredibly feminine. She wore a yellow blouse, with some jean shorts... She looked beautiful. "Stop me..." I said, wincing as some... Difficult memories came to my mind. "I killed you." She said, softly, then looked at me. "Your emotional body." She looks away, and I can feel her, afraid I would reject her when I learned the truth. Her hands rested on her legs, as if to lean forward and leave the Jeep, but she remained. I winced staring at her, her muzzle low, her eyes closed, tears on her bare skinned cheeks. "We... Did not want you to die, and it was decided, after we tried to bring you back, that I would give you my heart, because you would not come back to life. You needed my heart's spark of life to return to the land of the living." She said, looking into my eyes. Her eyes, seemed to glow, softly- I knew of her people, and I always had a connection with them, a desire- that yes, went into intimacy, but I never acted on it... It seemed too powerful to mess with, like- if I opened that door and attempted to date a Wolfen woman- I might be lost to her forever... End up becoming someone I felt I was not supposed to be... But this woman... With her bare, black skin, and piercing orange eyes, was literally, the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on... And she was telling me, that she had killed me in a previous life. "Are you ready for this? Do you want to hear it? Because it gets worse." She says with a now, hoarse voice, the tenseness growing tighter in her vocal chords, and a slight lean forward, as she seems to grow more agitated. I swallow hard. "What's your name?" I croak out, holding my hand to her, my face pure white, and feeling as if I am two steps away from passing out. "Blue." She whispers, and stares at my hand. She looks up, into my eyes, and blinks, maybe not even wanting to touch me. She looks forward and numbly shakes my hand. "Dave." I say, with a nervous grin, and an equally nervous chuckle- though my soul carries with it, memories- terrible memories of a past life, I instinctively know- though she is imposing... And, stunningly beautiful... That I am in no danger whatsoever. In fact, I am at peace... A peace I didn't know I had been searching for my entire life. I actually feel... Safe. My consciousness began to receive more memories, that echoed with every word she spoke: "I brought you back to life. But, we also knew, I would be forever bonded to you because of it... Your life force, piggybacked mine." She sighed. "I... Was a terrible person." I said, and swallowed, with the awful memories, of being an abused, and then vicious, boy, repressed, angry, hateful, and suicidal. In fact, just the memories alone made me want to throw up. "It wasn't your fault. Your parents..." She said, and sighed, looking down. "Were terrible to you." Regardless of fault, I instinctively knew, I, in my past, at one time, was not someone who would have treated a woman properly- let alone a wolf woman, who I knew, remained unusually loyal to her mate- tied to them, almost to an unhealthy degree- even to ending her own life before leaving him... Partly why I never took a Wolfen to be my wife... I didn't feel ready... Or even worthy. And, now, a Wolven, by all looks of her, was sitting next to me- a stunningly beautiful, bare skinned woman with pink toeclaw polish, who was visibly distressed- and yet, remained with me. "I wasn't going to leave. I hoped you'd stop me." She said, more tears welling up in her eyes, and her hands, squeezing her legs with her nervous admission. "I loved you..." I said, squinting, at her, then softening my expression. "Yes. You did." She said it with such force that I felt the earth itself would begin shaking under the weight of her words. She looked at me, now with an expression of solemnness, of hardness. "You told me to wait for you. Then, you told me to go to the human village. I lived there, until my heart told me to come here, instead. I didn't know if I was making a mistake... You had, passed on, I felt... And I thought, maybe, you had moved on. And, I did, too... But..." She looked down, and though she did not look at me, I could read her like a book. She missed me. "You never gave up. Not really." "You created me. To be your perfect girl. But... You were not ready to be with me, you were... Not nice. Mean. Controlling. And I... I ran from you in the spirit realm. Left you alone. You... All you wanted all of your life... Was me. Your wolf girl." She shook her head, which nearly touched the roof of the Jeep, her having to slump down into the seat an uncomfortable amount to fit inside. "Here, uh..." I said, reaching down to her legs, then looking into her eyes, for confirmation I could be in proximity to her lower half. She nodded, moving, and I felt instantly comfortable with her... Lower regions- as if, she felt, in a way, that her body, belonged to me, Or... She wanted it to be... I reached down, turned on, and trying not to fall into a bottomless ocean of passion for her, that was beginning to flood into my consciousness from another life... I moved her seat back, and gave her legs some relief- but instinctively my mind was already redesigning my vehicle for her... A raised roof, a seat moved back, brackets would have to be made, pillars heightened, my mind began to wander before I stopped it, to give her my undivided attention. "The things you told me..." She said, eyes again closing, as her mind recalled bittersweet memories. Though she had the head- and face of a wolf, she looked on the verge of breaking down into sobs. "G-Good things?" I squeaked out. She looked at me, her eyes shades of a passion, and a pain spanning multiple lifetimes... Slowly, she nodded, ears back, and closed her eyes- and I felt it- she was terrified I would never remember... "You're... I said, choking on my own words. "Beautiful." "You told me, I was the most beautiful woman you had laid-eyes-on in your life." She turned to look me in the eyes, again- and after she said that, my old consciousness, came to minister to me: and confirm everything she was saying. "You are." I whispered, tapping into the person I once was, and also- allowing my previous life to begin guiding my present one. She smiled, the smile of a girl who had been told she was pretty by someone she cared about, a beautiful, vulnerable, wolfish grin, and a dip of her, quite large head, with a sigh, as her entire body began to relax. "Did we..." I asked, squinting. "We fucked. In the spirit realm. Many times." She looked at me, almost expectant, then looked down, again. "Wow." I said, feeling my visceral, lustful passion for her, and she grinned, even more, feeling relief that I was beginning to have my passion for her rekindled. What was happening to me, that my sexual energy was overflowing for her? "This is a lot." She said, with a voice that no longer shuddered gently with a fear that I would not remember how I felt about her. I wanted to, fuck her brains out- but more than that- and she blushed, sensing my thoughts, smiling... I wanted to give her a home. With me. "Can I buy you lunch." She said, rocking nervously, but obviously hungry. "Would you, uh mind if I paid? I wouldn't feel right taking money from you." She closed her eyes and nodded. "God, you are... So beautiful..." I said, softly, wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, that she was, the most beautiful woman I had laid eyes on, in TWO lifetimes... I spent an awkward amount of time, allowing myself to take her in, to by hypnotized by how attractive I found her. "Mexican?" I asked, trying to read her, and finding that she, too, likely enjoyed Mexican food. "Oh God yes, please." She said, and buckled herself in. She smiled, now, a smile so bright it lit up my Jeep, even under the already hot sun. But still, that nervousness remained in the air, over who I really was... Obviously I was not a guy she had hurt... She looked at me, then looked forward, again, placing her hands under her legs as she rocked, slightly. I knew, the moment I touched the shift lever, that I would begin the rest of my life... So I hesitated, though I felt her, Wolven stomach begin to grow desirous. She blushed and looked down as I struggled to put away some... Very sexual thoughts I was having over her. I swallowed, trying to cool myself off. I closed my eyes tightly, and gritted my teeth, trying to quench the fires of lustful passion- that she was throwing fuel on with her heart, and soul, as I had never felt more connected with anyone, like I suddenly found myself, viscerally, animalistically connected to her. And not just because she was attractive, no, there was something else here- TWO lifetimes of passion that followed her around, like a perfume for the heart... "Excuse me, I just..." "Need a minute?" She said with a smile, another blush, and a nervous turning away from me. "I get it." She looked down for a moment, and sighed, as her expression slowly turned to one of, sadness, again. I could feel her, worried that I wasn't the same man- the lustful passion I had for her body, waned rapidly, as she looked away- and felt her heart hope, that whatever relationship was to come, revolved around more than just sex, as my Jeep was now saturated, laden with sexual pheromones both our bodies were putting into the air, and me, a human, being able to detect them. And, to be honest, it was hard thinking about anything else when I was with her... I wanted to... Smell her... From feet to ears- an entirely new desire for me in this lifetime. Apparently I was quite hot for her in my past. I still kinda was... I could see her appeal. Sitting there, nervously, long, muscular legs, good breasts... "OOkay." I said, adjusting myself in my seat. "Damn." I said, glancing at her, and smiling, the smile of a man who is looking at, a quite attractive woman. "I... Always had a uh, thing for..." "Wolf people?" She said, ears back and a cute grin. "It scared me. How much I liked them... You." "The Wolven?" She asked with a sheepish grin. "Yeah kind of. You know the reputation.... of... Uh, them. But so wild... It appealed to me in a way that I was always too scared to admit. Like, only a wild wolf girl would complete me. You know?" She nodded, and looked down. "This desire for our kind was placed within you for my previous mate. I always liked humans. Wondered why, I didn't want some, big, strong wolf guy. Hold me down and... Heh." She said with a blush so deep the red was obvious against her black skin as she thought sexual thoughts that I could see, and feel as if I were thinking them myself. My God, what passion we could share, with this connection. I swallowed hard, trying to let it sink in. "Something hot about... A human guy just... Mmm." She said, grinning at me, and I knew, if we were in a more secluded location, I might have kissed her, and made love to her right then and there. She smiled, rocking a bit more, but sighed, and stopped. I stared at her for a moment, taking in pheromones that hung in the air, making me light headed with a desire to be inside of her. To mate with her... I was becoming intoxicated... Losing myself for her, and I did not care... The only hindrance being... What was her motivation? She instinctively triggered within me, a caution based on her size alone. No wonder the old me had a thing for her... How did he even control himself with her? How did he... "You ached to be with me." I swallowed. Yeah. That made sense. "I still do." I said with a whisper, though my face still looked confused. She turned to look at me, closed her eyes, and moved her muzzle towards me... I closed mine, and pressed my lips to hers- she, confirming everything I was feeling, a virile and amorous woman, opened her mouth, and ever so gently, touched her, thick, powerful tongue to my own- while not a kiss of raw lustful desire- was one of the most intimate kisses I would ever experience in my lifetime. It was the strangeness of it... A woman claiming to know me in a past life, and me, turned on for her in ways I never thought possible... Slowly, we both opened our eyes, and separated our mouths, our eyes not leaving each other. "I... Missed you." I said, breathless with passion for her, tears welling up just behind my eyes as I took in that moment with her. My walls beginning to come down, and my fear dissipating. After that kiss, I began to trust her. "I missed you too!" She said, unleashing a telepathic torrent of raw, sexual desire for me, and a wide eyed stare that told me, we should leave, soon. "I was hoping you'd remember." "Remember what?" I asked, growing suddenly worried, when she looked at me, casting me, a completely human, smitten look of desire above a grin, as she tapped into some passion that existed within me. "How much you... Wanted me." She said, softly- but her muzzle dipped, and ears fell back again. She wanted to say more, but couldn't. I got the feeling she wanted to say... How much I wanted to be WITH her. Not just sexually... but as a mate. I quickly buckled myself and reached for the shifter lever, wanting to fly home, throw her on my bed, and make white-hot, passionate love to her- with how connected, and desirous I felt for her- I was only restrained by the knowledge that this moment, would not last forever. Strange, yes, but I did not care. Still, warning bells sounded within me, but I chose to focus on how I felt about her- and let it dictate my heart, rather than fear. My hand, hovered over the shifter... as I stared at my dashboard. Blue, stared out of her window, allowing her own passion to fall, and recollect itself. She, shifted her legs, and I could tell, her body was having roughly the same reaction as mine was, but in the feminine. I swallowed hard, staring between her legs, my masculine mind going a mile a minute. I collected myself, and looked up, seeing her grinning, and blushing again, staring at me, staring at her crotch. "I... apologize." I said, blushing, myself. She stared at me, that, wolfish predator's face, frankly making me a little... Concerned, as she bit her lip, her entire being, I could feel it bristling in the air like lightning, an electricity between us, her legs nearly tensing up to push herself on top of me, her lip popped out from under her canine, and she composed herself, panting softly. She inhaled, pursed her lips, and exhaled, wide-eyed. "Do you uh, want to uh, do you trust me- I mean, come back to, I uh, mean to say..." "You want me to come home with you?" She asked, raising what would have been an eyerbrow as she grinned at me from her left side. "Yes..." "Hmm." She said, her face softening with a smile I bet she didn't even know she was wearing, and a feminine softness about her that confirmed everything I wondered about her people- they were, indeed, as feminine, if not moreso- than even my kind, the humans. She exuded a sort of, girlish energy from her, and I knew she was a wild one. Somewhat dangerous when the wild ones had teeth... But, I knew attacks on humans almost never happened, outside of special circumstances... Except, this was turning into a special circumstance. Still. I pushed through the fear. I refused to allow fear to push me to leaving a relationship before it even started. "I would love to." She said, softly, her eyes, now glowing with a fire that would have made them glow in the dark. She smiled at me, and though I could feel it, her thoughts went to her being larger, more powerful, and more well-armed than I was, in trusting me to take her to my house. "But first! Mexican." She said with a nervous, ears-pinned-back laugh. I could tell her body was uncomfortably wet as she chuckled coyly, but also with the fears bubbling back into her subconscious: Just what kind of a guy was I? I thought about it, about her body: The old me, apparently, would have done anything- and everything to satisfy her- to a laborious extent- he wanted the passion to stop, only after she passed out with a smile, her body, fully satisfied. "Mexican." I said, bewildered and drowning with conflicting emotions as my being, fed off of hers. I saw her, staring at me, with a predators passionate lust, as I shifted it into Drive. Certainly was a horny little thing... There were worse traits to have, I told myself. I drove her to a restaurant she guided me too, and she blushed as she ordered three different items- something I instinctively knew- a woman of her size and musculature, must need a high caloric intake. "Are you okay? Here. Let me pay for this." She said, digging into her jeans shorts. "No, no I got this, it's no problem..." I said, stopping to look her in the eye when she stopped trying to cram her large Wolven hand into her pocket. "I want to." I said, touching her leg, and pressing a little harder against her skin than I did the first time. I smiled, submissively to her, and her ears, again, fell back. She smiled, looking into my eyes, scanning my being, for the provision and security her feminine desired of my masculine- and in the spirit realm, I allowed my desire to meet all of her needs, desires, wants, everything- and she smiled, acknowledge receipt of what would become the relationship with the woman of my dreams. "You are... So beautiful." I said, as she blushed, knowing full well, her fur was not coming back. Next to me, the employee waited for payment, but I stopped, to look into her eyes, then seal my intentions with her, with another kiss. We ate along the way, and she, wolfed her food down... I would later realize she didn't want to waste time eating at my home, and along the way- my raw lust grew for her, and grew, and grew until I screeched to a halt in my driveway, my home yellow with white accents, nestled under a forest canopy- I fell out of my Jeep as she burst out into laughter, Recovering and getting back to my feet, both of our faces stained with Mexican food, her muzzle tracked me until I flung her door open, then gasped when she flinched, recoiling partially at my, over-exaggerated mannerisms- when I realized I was acting like a total in-heat ass, she grinned at me, though she partially held an arm up to protect herself from me, her smile let me know she was not the least bit offended. "I'm sorry. Forgive me." I said with a nervous chuckle, watching her tall, sexy body, legs-for-days, muscular, large feet that appealed to me in ways I never thought I would be feeling... Reached out to her, offering her my hand. For a moment, she looked out of the window, then turned to look at me. "I don't want it to end, either." I burst out. "What?" She asked, knowing the first thing we would do the moment I closed and locked the door, was to tear our clothes off, and run upstairs to my bedroom. Ears back blushing, I looked into her eyes. "This moment." I whispered, offering her my hand. She stared at it, took a nervous, and deep breath, and began to climb out. "Oh! Sorry! I'm supposed to take your hand." She said. "I've watched so many romantic human movies, I'm so stupid, I should have known to..." "You're not stupid." I said, being insulted for her, that she would speak such things over herself. She sighed, falling back into her seat, and re-doing the scene. Looking at my hand, she said, "Well thank you, Mister. My name's Blue..." She said from under a sultry, wolfish look and a grin as she took my hand, and allowed me to help her out of the Jeep, the entire vehicle rocking to the side when her weight was out of it. She was... Even larger than I had thought previously, seeing her, tall, attractive, and on-fire with lust for me. I took her in for a moment, trying not to rush the moment any faster than it had to be, and allowed her passion to guide me, to steer the rudder of the consummation of our relationship, and to try to make sense of the situation... It felt like all logic had gone out the window, and was replaced by an alien passion, and a trust for her, that she did not earn with me, yet seemed to guide my heart. I may have been making the biggest mistake of my life... Was she telling me a story, to gain my trust, use her sex appeal to get me to take her home, then eat me? No, we just ate... And I wondered, was sex really what we should be doing? Looking into her eyes, I knew, there was no other option. Not now. I would come to realize, after we agreed to be lovers and more... That she was almost insatiable... And, that I ached and craved her body, so much so that I had to take steps back sometimes, to collect myself, so I wouldn't forget to buy her flowers... To take her to the movies, to go camping with her... Sometimes the scent of her body clung to me, and we ended up wearing clothes less often than we didn't. "Blue, I'm Dave." I said, taking her hand gently in my own. "SO Dave... You wanna... Uh, show me your, uh, house? Nice." She said, looking my house over, top to bottom. "This is exactly the kind of house I wanted, actually. Weird." She said with a blush and a grin, more, even more intimate desires roaming through her mind, and read by mine, in an uncanny manner. She stared at me for a moment, her eyes softly glowing with a passion that called to me, casting me a young, girlish gaze. "You single?" "Even if I wasn't, I would be for you." I couldn't believe I was saying this, but I truly meant it. Still, bewildered, not knowing what was happening, or what would come of this- I endeavored to see this out with her. I had had my heart broken a few times in the past, and I wondered where this would go, but I again, steeled, and invested myself into going with this, and what this wolf-woman was telling me. Hell, our passionate, raw lustful connection alone was beginning to take me over- and me, it's helpless yet willing prey. "Awww." She said, blushing and sort of swaying on one foot as I stared at her feet for some reason, unable to look away. "You like my toes?" "Love 'em." I said with a genuine grin, and beginning to enjoy complimenting everything about her- because I could feel how it made her feel. A desire I had, deep down, for a woman like her, were becoming more, and more alive. She had waited for me... And I was discovering, she was not only worth the wait, but that everything was happening exactly the way it should- to such a degree, that I wondered if anything could be more perfect, anywhere, ever. "God, you're beautiful." "You're pretty good looking yourself, human." I smiled, knowing she meant every word. "Uh, Blue, wanna come inside?" She lifted an eyebrow and cast me a sultry grin. "You wanna... come inside?" She said with a grin and a cock of her head. Her Wolven... Manners were already beginning to manifest. Wild, wild people. I laughed, and she burst out laughing, too. "Dirty wolf girl." She grinned, next to me as I inserted the key into the lock, and fumbling as I endeavored to open the door, hoping she would love the house, and knowing- she was already in love with it. "You have no idea, bud." Her words carried an air of, unbathed, wet, sweaty wildness with it, that I would come to know about her- and ended up being unable to live without. The stickiness, the sweatiness, the way I would clean her body with my tongue, especially between her toes. Something she adored, and would squirm, touching herself when I would focus on her feet with my mouth. Her eyes, glowing in that lustful passionate desire, that honestly frightened me, sometimes... Like a wolf, when she sees her prey. I got the door open and stepped inside. I turned to face her- but she did not make an effort to step inside. Her nose scented the air, and she looked at me... I felt her heart... The heart of a vulnerable little girl... On the precipice of a decision that would forever change her life. She bit her lip, and looking passed me, ears falling back, closed her eyes with a fear I could practically taste, and stepped inside. "Like something out of a romance novel, huh Dave." She said, when she opened her eyes. Yeah, it would be- assuming, and hoping, her intentions were pure. "Yeah! Do you think we should be, uh... Doing this... Right now?" I asked, and she scoffed. "What else would we be doing. We can talk later." She said so flatly the hair stood up on the back of my neck. She pulled her blouse off, and her supple breasts bounced, my eyes, feasting on her tits. When I looked back up, her lips met mine. This time, her tongue invaded my mouth, almost choking me, but I imagined, maybe, that's what women endure with men anyway, and if they could take it, so could I. "Bedroom?" I squeaked out, motioning upstairs. Her orange eyes looked up, then fell on me. "We can fuck in a tree for all I care." I nodded, wide eyed and a bit bewildered. "So you're the wolf girl from a past life." I said, side glancing at her breasts as i walked up the stairs, with her next to me. "Yep." "And we... Shared a heart?" I said, glancing over the part where she... Killed me. "Uh huh." she said, the bedroom seemingly miles away from us as I tried not to run up the stairs like a child wanting to see what Santa Claus brought him on Christmas morning... "You sure you don't want, like... A soda or something." She stopped, three steps from the upper floor, my bedroom the first door to the right. She looked at me with a sigh, and an aura of the sorrows, fear, danger, and horror of a past life, hanging thick in the air between us. I was, suddenly, taken aback by the memories of my first life on this planet... "Dave..." She said, ears back with a sigh, her hand, gently resting on the wall-side hand rail. She scented the air, and I could tell her Wolven brain was analyzing things my human brain could not comprehend. My health from the scent of my bathroom, the offgassing of the caulking used to build the home, even that the paint was getting old just by the scent of it. She sighed and looked down, then into my eyes. Still, the scent of our raw lust, hung acrid, in the air, and for the first time, I would get a scent of her body that would stay with me for the rest of my life... "I've waited so long for this. For you." She said, tearing up, and looking down. "God damn it. Crying is always so sexy." She said with a nervous chuckle. "Can I blow my nose?" She asked, suddenly looking like a Wolven woman mess. "Yeah, of course." I said, falling into her, and hugging her, tightly, crying some tears of my own, until we were both weeping, hold each other tightly... The fear... I felt in the previous life... Was palpable. It was so intense I nearly had to run from her to collect myself... However, her maternal instinct, comforted me, and I knew: I was in no danger from her whatsoever. I needed to just... Hug her. Hold her. Maybe the previous version of me, had a strong desire to hold this woman in his arms... And seeing her weeping like that, everything in me desired to make her feel safe. "I would die for you." She whispered through her tears and looked away, closing her eyes. Her heart... Loved me in ways I would not... Could not know, until my last breath. "My heart called to me endlessly to come to that store, every day, for months. I wondered what the hell I was doing, until I saw your Jeep. I could not look away. I cried when I first saw you... It took three weeks to get the courage up to even walk towards you. Heh. You drove off five times as I walked up to you and you didn't even notice me. I felt like such a stupid little girl, chasing this, handsome human man, and his nice car. I thought, you wouldn't want anything to do with me... Because... Of my skin. And. You know. I hurt you in a past life... What if that's all you remembered about me?" She said, looking up at me. "I... would live for you." I said, with a confused look. "That's what's in my heart to tell you." She smiled, a smile that betrayed all of her fears her insecurities, the concern that I would not be the same man she had waited- and worked to be with. "I owe you. For eating your guts." "Not exactly, honeymoon conversation here, wolf girl." I said with a nervous chuckle as she grinned, ears going back- and I could tell, she enjoyed me taking charge over her like this. "And eww." I said with an exaggerated grimace. She laughed so loud it startled me. I opened the door to my bedroom, and moved aside, allowing this beautiful, vulnerable woman, who was submitting to me like a human woman would, duck passed me, ears back, and scent the bedroom with a soft smile on her face- excited... And nervous- ears again, pinned back against her face- and memories of being abused sexually coming back to her. I stared at her, gorgeous, supple ass, and tail that seemed to have been cut at one point, it being a somewhat shorter than it should have been. "What?" She said with a grin. "You tasted pretty good, actually." I sighed, realizing I was going to have to get used to her. She was, a Wolven, and they were known for, well- manners, or, lack thereof. I felt like throwing up, but I choked it down. I wanted to be some, tough human guy, but I was failing miserably- and we still had our clothes on. Well I did, anyway. She unbuttoned her jeans and let them fall to the floor, then stood naked, allowing me to fully take in her body. "Wow." I said, staring at her, between her legs, her chest, her rows of nipples under her supple breasts, her... "Cookie" as it was affectionately dubbed on the internet, and her head- seemingly almost too large, but fitting her larger Wolven body perfectly. "Ugh I forget. Fuck I'm sorry. I forget humans are... A little sensitive with things... I didn't mean you tasted good... I mean. You did. The wolf part of me liked it. It's in my blood, of course... Really, it makes me sick when I think about it... I'm sorry. I can sense I've offended you..." She said as I stared between her legs, studying the shape of her vulva. "No it's okay..." I said, accepting her apology, and looking up into her eyes. She grinned, ears back, and wore an expression of embarrassment. "He was uh, self conscious about it, something in his childhood, his brothers made fun of their dog, or something... He really had a hard life. They really were, awful, evil people- his middle brother the only one with enough sense to completely disown the family. His younger brother wouldn't even loan him money with collateral to save his land when he was in trouble. The dude was wealthy, too." She said, still wearing the same look of an embarrassed woman. "It's beautiful. Like you." I said, the look of bewilderment not really fully leaving my face, and the grin to go with it. "And- that's awful. " "You've seen naked Wolven before?" She said with a blush. "Only on the internet." She grinned. "So you are into us." "I was curious." I said, taking my shirt off, and half feeling like I was making a mistake. Maybe I still needed to come to terms with this. However, the programming that was inside of me, was coming alive in ways I never knew possible- this was either a powerful magic spell... Or. It was meant to be. It was uncanny how we shared such an unspoken passion just moments ago, barely even knowing each other's name, and now, energies had shifted completely. "Yes. I want to do this." She said as I got naked, and allowed her eyes to study me, before fixating on my erect member. She grinned, and stared at it with a desire that made me shiver. She looked up, into my eyes, her eyes, now glowing again, but brighter. "So you know about cookies." "Yeah I mean I assumed... The Wolven almost exclusively have them, some Wolfen do, and they can be shaped all sorts of..." I said, trailing off, examining her body. She chuckled, nervously, grasping her left arm with her right hand and looking out of my window. "Now I'm the one who doesn't want this moment to end." She said with a scoff, and a dip of her muzzle, her eyes falling. "Fuck." She said, sitting on my bed. "Can I sit here? Do you mind?" I scoffed, this time. "If... This is all true- and I feel like... This is the most natural thing in this planet, or maybe even on it, too... Then... Heh." I said looking away, thinking of how absolutely crazy all of this was... How it could easily be a trick to... Eat me, or something... But I had no feelings like that. This felt... Natural. Perfect. God, a part of me, hoped beyond hope that she was right... That... I would spend the rest of my life with her. A part of me that had remained buried, concealed- maybe I just never came to terms with it, began to come alive: I had wanted a woman her exact shape, with her exact personality, my entire life. She smiled at me, sensing my thoughts. "Uh." I choked out. I looked down at her, and she wore the cutest, most vulnerable expression I think her people could wear, contrasted by her sheer size, and terrible power, she looked like a nervous little girl, sitting naked, on my bed. "What..." I said, sighing, and looking out of my window as she looked down, her passion being almost fully doused, now. "What's gonna happen." "We gone fuck." She said with a pivot and shake of her body. "No, I mean after." I said softly, as this may be the question that ends everything... Before it begins... Or, begins something that lasts... "Fuck some more?" She said with a chuckle. Between her legs moisture sparkled under the dim lighting in the room. "Will you marry me?" I said, then ended with a, "Fuck." Did I just make a mistake? Where the hell was this coming from. I've heard of love at first sight, but, it was like another person was beginning to take control of me. As I looked at her, I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I closed my eyes tightly, and shook my head. "You don't want to marry me? Or do." She said, softly. "Do you want to marry me?" I asked, with a quizzical tone. She smiled, but the smile slowly melted from off of her face as she thought about it seriously. "Uh, oh, well, I kinda... Always assumed he would marry me... I mean we talked about it... And one day, he literally drove to, this place called California, and had a minister marry him and I... He said I was his, 'spirit spouse'... After that if he wanted to get laid with a human, he would talk to me about it, because he didn't want to, 'cheat' on me..." "That's weird... But oddly romantic." I said, and she dipped her muzzle, but was quiet. I felt my fears beginning to osmose into her being, too. My second thoughts were becoming her second thoughts. I felt her, nearly ready to call the whole thing off and what. Go back to her home? I sighed. "It's weird, like... I went to the store a few hours ago, single as a pringle, with no expectations.... The next thing I know, this... Beautiful, part-wolf woman, hops into my Jeep and tells me I am her.... dead husband, but reincarnated... And it all feels so fucking natural... Like this is all meant to be." I said, glancing, down, again, between her legs and biting my lip. I had studied her people on the internet, and the, "Unspoken word" was, once a human male, sometimes even human women... Had sex with a Wolven, they would struggle to ever go back to human women in bed. The heat, they said, was like a wet fire, and the shape... Something about it... Her orgasms would massage his member, usually achieving multiple simultaneous orgasms that were so intense, the human would sometimes be paralyzed from it for a few seconds while it was happening. I sighed. I couldn't want to slide inside of her... And I was growing strangely comfortable with a woman who claims to have killed my last iteration.... However, I felt an incredible connection to her heart... It was supernatural... I could feel everything she was thinking, and feeling... Including her returning ache to have me thrusting deep inside of her. And, how she was also one thought away from, putting her clothes back on, and running out of my house, as far away from me as she could get... When I collected myself, again, my eyes going from her crotch, up to her eyes, her ears were back, and she wore a gentle smile. "Dave we don't have to do this now." "Sure, now that I want to do it, you back out!" I said with a smile, and pointing in mock accusation to her. Her eyes went wide, and that grin I would come to know was an invitation to bend her over where she stood, once again appeared on her face. When she smiled, I felt such a tremendous relief, that her focus shifted back to sex, and not fleeing- something in me breathed a great sigh of relief. And, through it- I began to feel something else... I was comfortable with her. In fact, more than comfortable. I felt safer naked with her, than I ever did with even a human woman. Looking at her non human shapes, the curve of her head, her muzzle, her chest... The way her incredibly powerful, muscular, thick legs were shaped- more horse-sized than any human I had come across... She was magnificent. "We can-" "Ah!" I said, cutting her off, taking in her body as she looked nervously up at me. "I'm never going to have this moment again, Blue." I said softly, studying her body intensely. It was, oddly romantic, and I wasn't wrong. After we had sex- things would change- and they were already progressing rapidly. Men took women home from bars all the time, but this... I felt an eternity with her... And from what she was saying, that was more than likely true. "You're making me... A little, uh, self conscious." She said with a fake chuckle, and a turn of her head. "Forgive me, that is not my intention... We're literally talking about marriage and I've only known you for literally two hours. Let me have this moment with you. Please." "Of course." She said, scenting the air, and staring at my hard, throbbing member, that was drawn to her almost like a magnet- so much so I had to resist the urge to thrust it into her face. "What happened to your tail-" "Another time, Dave." "Gotcha." "Kind of a sensitive subject." "Got it." I said, looking at her breasts, and at the nipples below them. "Do you. Wanna get married?" I asked, ending my sentence with a higher pitch so that it didn't sound so serious- to give her an out, if she wanted it. "Yes." she said, softly, and blushed, closing her eyes with a sigh. I saw the tears, sort of come to her face when she opened them and sighed, looking away while raising the bare skin where her eyebrows would have been, then looking down as I felt her, feel self conscious about her lack of a fur coat. Her heart spoke to me, and told me, it was her one desire, she had, her entire life- to be married to the man who loved her- and cared for her, but that, she was forced to give up on, and the pain that came with it. In a way, she was almost desperate... Her fears were almost the same as mine. "Who else is going to marry me." She looked away. "That's... A strange thing to say, considering how beautiful you are." I said, with a tone of incredulity. She sighed, and smiled so softly as to do it without me noticing.. But I noticed. "You mean that. Don't you." She said, softly, then looked at me. I nodded, my eyebrows high, telling her, how wrong she was about her looks. "Yeah!" I said, adding more weight to the fact that I found her stunning on multiple levels, including levels from another person, who had once loved her so deeply. "He used to tell me, how beautiful I was... He tried to do it daily through our heart, mind, and spirit connection. When she said it.." She said, tears, now streaming down her face, but still, looking me in the eyes, until she looked away, painful memories coming back to her. "He meant it. From his heart. One time I uh... Heh." she said, looking down with a numb smile as I sat next to her on the bed, and gently took one of her hands into my own, when I sensed she wanted me to hold her hand. "I brought him another 'wolf girl' as he called us. She was... Perfect for him. She wasn't... Broken. Like me. She... Had a good life, and she was a virgin. A Wolfen. They're softer. You know. Well, I brought her to him in the spirit realm, and I put my hands on her shoulders, and she blushed... But her eyes lit up when she saw him... She was, in love with him, like he was with me. And I told him... 'Dave- this wolf girl is a better match for you than I am. She's just... Better for you...' You know what he said?" She said, looking into my eyes from under her tears. "What?" I asked, squeezing her hand, gently, and staring into her eyes, which betrayed a hurt so deep it touched me in a way I never thought I would feel- a passion in her people that I discovered in many ways, went even deeper than my own people seemed capable of... "He said." She said, looking across my bedroom, then down. "'You are the only woman that has the other half of my heart. You are the only woman who completes me... You are the only woman who I willingly gave life, and love to... -uh long story and kind of gross, heh- You are the woman I choose...' And he, HA! Worried that he offended the other girl, he didn't want her to feel rejected... But he struggled with a lot of things like that. It was his first life here, so everything was all about passion... But he was a bit conflicted- anyway. That's what he said." She said, gently squeezing my hand, back. I was falling in love. Lost, in her eyes. So much so, I was unable to speak. These strange, but tender moments we were already sharing, naked, on my bed. Our bed. "Okay." I croaked out and she smiled and laughed a genuine laugh. "Okay." She said, looking down. "NO, I mean, uh, fuck. I mean, Jesus, that's romantic, isn't it? To be told he wants you, over some, 'better' match? Like, to be chosen over that, is pretty cool. It must have felt... Good." I said, taking my old selfs words inside of myself, and reshaping my inner resolve to match it similarly. "I spent the rest of the day, whispering to his heart, and telling him, over and over: I belong to you, now, Dave. I belong to you." She turned to look me in the eyes, a teary mess. "You're crying." She said, touching a finger claw softly to my cheek, then examining the moisture as it sparkled under the lighting in my room. "Oh wow I am." I said, softly, still, staring into her eyes, and her- not looking away as a new, fresh waves of tears, streamed down her cheeks. "I choose you." I whispered, becoming lost in her eyes, my mouth, open, slightly. "Wh-what?" She said with a shocked grin. "What, for what?" "I choose you." I said, again, unable to say much else. She cocked her head. "Like. For what?" "You know what." "To fuck my brains out?" She said, with that Wolven lust that bordered on abandon, that I had read about on the internet for her people. "And more." I said, staring into her eyes, and discovering a yearning to never be apart from her, my head cocked, strange, intense memories and emotions from a life I once lived in another body, coming in like a flood of water into dry bread, and taking over who I thought I was- and me- not fighting it, and not only this, but welcoming the waves of warm, comforting change. I saw her struggle to speak, and she blinked rapidly, her lower jaw, quivering. "M." she said, as I blinked, studying her face even closer now that we were sitting next to one another, naked, on my bed. "Marriage." I said with a sigh, that spilled out more than just breath... It released with it the old me, not only from a past life, but the man I thought I was... The man who thought he was going to find a human woman, and settle down with her... The idea never appealed to me outside of just my duty as a guy... Not because I didn't like human women, but because the idea seemed so boring... Deep down I craved something more... Wild. And now that I was sitting, naked, next to her, the me I used to be, was on fire for her. He came out. admiring her shape, her beauty- he had craved to see her in the flesh his entire life... And now, he was seeing her, through my eyes. "You gonna carry me down the altar?" She said with a chuckle through her tears, and an acknowledgement that, she, too, had desired above all desire, to be with her human lover, on the surface of this planet. (Wolf girl actual tells me she's not gonna cry that much. And she's right. She's tougher than that- however, in this story she has lived with humans, she has made friends, and has experienced a human way of life. This, jeans-shorts version of her, is actually more in touch with her softer, feminine side, hence the tears. Wolf girl actual is a bit in an adverse situation, and has to remain tough in it.) "Yes." I said, all humor gone from me. "I weigh five hundred fifty two pounds. I gained some weight since I left the caverns." She said, pinching her stomach and chuckling. "I'll work out." I said, just... Captivated by her, and the emotional downloads that were happening in torrents now, the passion he shared for her, the connection, the power, and the lust for her. "I can carry you." She said, smiling softly, her bewildered gaze now matching my own as she looked into my eyes, wondering- what was I thinking, exactly? Before I could tell her no, I was going to carry her, she closed her eyes, leaned in, and kissed me. Her tongue teased mine, now, and my hands went to her breasts. She moved back, after we had kissed long enough that my tongue was numb, my hands caressing her soft, bare skin, sides, and inside of her thighs until there was a wet spot on the bed between her legs- and looked at me, her eyes, eyes of desire. Soon, She was on her knees, not a word spoken, and I slid inside of her hot body- so hot, I double over on her back with a gasp, panting like a dog, feeling her body clench down on my member. "Oh my God..." I gasped, panting, as she bore my weight on her wide, muscular back. I had never felt anything so incredible that it affected my entire body like that, it was everything the internet said it would be- but like I assumed, mere words could never fully describe the feeling of being inside of a Wolven woman. "You like it?" She said, under me, beginning to pant, herself, her breathing readying herself for the passionate act of sex. "I love it." I said, pushing harder inside of her to soak up every hot, wet inch of her. "Me too." she said, letting her head drop, and her entire body shaking, her lips parting, and pushing her hips back into mine until we were fully pressed together via our hips. I made love to her for three solid days. I stopped taking calls, I barely ate, and we fucked until my entire house smelled like our love. I would pass out on our living room floor, and wake up to her, curled up in my arms, relaxed, vulnerable, bonded to me in a way only her people knew- snoring, sometimes dreaming, making strange Wolven noises, sometimes, even crying, and once- even screaming. I made her some breakfast, as she lay in my bed, my seed dripping down her inner thighs, and served her it to her in bed. "Thank you." she said with a genuine gratitude, and ate her large meal. I watched her eat, and when she was finished, I told her, "Get cleaned up. I wanna take you somewhere." "Really? Where?" She said with a bright grin. Her entire demeanor had relaxed, her face glowed when she looked at me, her girlish spirit radiant with passion for me, her man- and her heart, swelled when she would think about me, as if I was taller and stronger than her- even though I was not, her heart, said it was so. "To get married." Her face went pale, or as pale as a Wolven's face could get, without fur. "Really?" I cast her a glare. "I would never joke with you about something like that. Unless- you want a ceremony. And a ring. I mean, I'll get you a ring. Of course I'll get you a ring. But, like, an engagement-" I said when she stood up on the bed, leaned in, and kissed me. "Get cleaned up." I said, and she giggled, throwing on her jeans shorts and yellow blouse on after quickly showering and letting out a belch so loud my neighbors a half mile away likely heard it, and then a fart when she stepped out. "What?" She asked, when she dried off and I stared at her, shaking my head, but grinning, because she was mine. I drove her to the Waffle House and ordered some food, as I knew she was still hungry- and when the food came, the townsfolk stopping for their sunday morning breakfast, more than a few eyes staring at the tall, bare-skinned wolf girl and her human lover- I glanced over at another table, and without missing a beat, asked if I could have an onion ring- they agreed, handing it to me... And walked over to where Blue was eating, looked her in her orange eyes, fell to one knee, held up the onion ring to her and said: "Blue. Will you marry me?" The entire restaurant gasped as she held a hand over the end of her muzzle. She nodded, blinking away tears, turning her head away to look out of a window, then dipping her muzzle when she resolved within herself: Her life was going to change now, and forever. "Yes." She said, her hand dropping from her muzzle, as a few tables clapped, and some people hollered. One person howled and I cast them a glare, to which they scoffed. "Rude." I said, sitting down, and looking into her eyes, and holding her hands. "He did it. He did what he said he was going to do." She said, staring into my eyes. "You mean I did it." She nodded. We were married in a small ceremony, with some of her friends, and some of mine- gathered in the guest room of a bar. Given her past, she had a surprising amount of friends- including some men, that I was instinctively jealous of- and found myself between them and her more than once. We all got drunk and had to call taxis, but it was a day Blue and I both never forgot. We made my house our home, and ended up living a long, full life together. It wasn't always easy, as being married to a Wolven, as a human, is not often seen, but we made it work- and I loved nearly every moment I spent with her- and discovered that, no- I didn't want to be away from her, ever. She needed me similarly, and called me her, "Therapy human." And said she was "Allowed to take me into stores with her if I wore my therapy human vest." "Thank God." I said. "I would have to wait in the car with the AC on, otherwise. She grinned and chuckled at me. She told me about her life in the caverns, and her stories were almost too terrible to hear- but she would recall them like they were days of, business as usual. God, she had been through a lot. The woman before me, seemed different. Like, her inner child had experienced some healing, as she lived with the humans, who were a bit culturally softer than the reptilians were some times known for being. A part of her, a girlish part, was beginning to come out of her. And it was beautiful. It explained a lot about her... Her mannerisms... Growing up without a mother or father, and joining the Reptilians before I was, apparently, attacked by them- and her- and ended up becoming a different person entirely- a better person. She was my woman. Burping with abandon, farting on me, humping my leg with comically exaggerated canine mannerisms... Even scaring me with her ability to move with complete silence outdoors. I think most humans just accepted that, she looked like a Wolven, talked like a Wolven, even smelled like a Wolven... Ironically it was her scent that many humans considered to be adverse, that I couldn't live without... That she wasn't often to bathe was a treat for me. But when we would sit in the tree fort I built for us in the forest behind our home, and she would hold me as the wind gently rustled the trees around us, feeling her soft lips kiss the back of my neck, her tongue, making me shiver with pleasure as she slowly ran it across my body, I thanked God, the universe- whatever, that she was mine.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 21, 2023 21:38:36 GMT 9.5
That is wonderful!!! I got such a warm feeling from the first account, the word, "Friendly" and, "Approachable" is with the first dogman, and the second one too, but it strikes me as strange, the "feeling" I get from the second dogman, is that he has a mean streak, or a temper- he's a nice one, but if he decides to be angry, a human could get hurt (In a relationship with him.) The third dogman, I summoned their spirit to me, in a scenario of, "If I moved to southeast Georgia, and I found you and approached you, or- you approached me- what would that, look like?" It was terrifying. The malnourished one would, in such a situation, almost be assured to eat you. It has no regard for humans in that respect, enough to stay away from them, but she is dangerous. VERY dangerous. She is why people are scared of the woods. The first dogman, is actually extremely friendly, and would, if the right humans approached him, get on his back and let you, "Rub the belly" and smile while being petted. If a human desires a romance with one of these, he's the guy you want to engage for that. He has a sense of humor and likes playing jokes. If he gets offended, he will distance himself from you. The second guy, he is romanceable, but a human runs the risk of, being injured by him if you make him mad or he's in a bad mood and you don't detect it. The final one, should never be approached unless you want the experience of being eaten (not recommended 0/5 stars) This is amazing and wonderful information. I, now, have a goal. And, I may just finish building this van, and vacation there, in search of dogpeople! WOW!!! Man, if I get into a relationship with one, which I feel is my destiny if the stars align, people probably won't be seeing much of me if any. Similarly, if the skinny one finds me, my bones may be found, but that is part of the risk of these people. If... And when... I make contact with these people, who seem localized according to that article, I will return here and give account, and pictures/video, although... From what I can tell these creatures are "Magickal"... And are able to vanish/ stay hidden in spite of modern technology. I think, they are "protected" by inner earth technology. I may not be able to get photos or video. Similarly, if I get laid with them and record it I will put it on an adult website so other humans can see what it looks like to mate with them. Of either sex. And, if I can get detailed anatomy pictures of them, I will do that too. I know, getting ahead of myself. WOW I now have a life goa, thank you, Paul! =) I know, searching for dogmen could end in my demise, but for me, I am so passionate about these creatures, and I want to show the world they exist, and are misunderstood. If they are protected by inner earth technology, it is likely they have advanced colonies. If I am shown their methods, I will not endanger them by talking about it, or even if a human COULD access their technology. And, to be brutally honest, if I find acceptance with them, I may never return (By choice). Find, an amiable dogwoman, and settle down with her in their village. I could, actually see myself, completely falling in love with a dogwoman, loving her canine instincts and loyalty, similar to the wolf girl, Wolfen, and wolf people, these dogmen remind me of the wolfen, but wild and rebellious... I have some memories of some of their colonies... And, entering into them, and all the large canid peoples, getting up in my face smelling me with those big canine snouts! Man, they are so beautiful, majestic, and regal. I may even bring a rifle there and hunt for them, to help them. Might not be the best idea though if they grow reliant on me, and stop hunting, so maybe that's a bad idea, but I would hunt for my dogwoman, massage her body, teach her my language, (So she can teach others. Can you imagine? I teach them English, and the next thing you know, they are talking to humans. "Hey! Human! Look here!" "OH SHIT A TALKING WEREWOLF, RUN!!!" *cue dogman laughing her ass off.) I would enjoy recording my dogwoman, talking about her people, her past, her hopes, her dreams, her future... Of course without human entrappings she may express an interest in "Children and a successful hunt", possibly passionate sex with me. I can see her smiling and wiggling her hips, and with a grin saying, "A good night with this guy." And, i would, give her a good night indeed. She also refuses to mate with me in the open, and wants to go to a secluded spot, sometimes the same place, other times she seems to vary it (?) so jealous males won't assault her/ take advantage of where they know we mate. I feel my wolf girl, a bit jealous of this, but- what can I do, until i am with her somehow? And, it can teach me a lot about her people. This would be a good thing. I also instinctively know I will have to overcome some palpable terror. But could it be, my entire life, has been leading up to this moment? Also, something in me says, the first guy, who came-to on his couch, was "Assisted" by the dogman magick in returning to his home. That is, one reason why I know the first dogperson was amiable and friendly. If i end up finding a colony, I will likely leave my cell phone in the van, and bring with me a dedicated digital camera to take photos of them and their way of life. I see, a light brownish/tan and white, dogwoman, She is lenky, tall, and she... Likes me. She may be, waiting for me... She's the one I call, "My woman", and if I am successful, you will see pictures of me, with her. Or, I may just stay with her. If I do decide to stay with her as her mate in their colony, I will write such a thing inside of my van. "Gone to be with my wife, a dogman. Not coming back. You can keep the van. Keys are, such and such a place. Watch video on this:" And leave a thumb drive with me, explaining the features of my van, the prelube priming system, the ignition controls, the fuel injector mapping, displays, cameras, solar, plumbing, history of the van and how I extended it etc, so whomever is lucky enough to end up with it will know how to use it. Also, I spoke with wolf girl over this, and while she's a bit jelly about it, she also says it may be a way for her to be with me on the surface ***AND*** she tells me, she has connections with these dogmen, and could "Guide me there". I have a good feeling about it. I had to reason with her a little... And convince her that I am NOT abandoning her for this other dogwoman. That is NOT what is happening. And I told her, if she appeared in the colony, IF she desired a life with me (I am likely not living with her in the caverns... It's a bit dangerous down there, not much to do, too. I want her to have a good life above.) however if she came to the dogperson camp, I would indeed, build her a home there, hunt for her, cook for her, and give her the life I told her I want to give her. I am sensing a strong desire to return to the caverns for her, however, and that is okay. We can discuss it when/if she gets to me. I think, there is a transporter the dogpeople use, that can transport living things instantly from one sector to another, which is why they seem "localized" here or there, because that is where the transporter is. I think, also, some of this tech they might be using, is "Hidden" by the aliens who put it here, so that passers-by won't "see" it to use it, which is why maybe the dogpeople can have an open colony in plain sight and humans would never stumble upon it. But, if I find my dogmaiden woman, you are going to see me with the biggest fucking smile on my face a human can have. Depending on how safe it is, of course. I am detecting some, somewhat troublesome things, such as, I would have to, introduce myself to every dogperson, and they would all have to accept me, or I run the risk of one of them attacking me, possibly, maybe just because they don't like how I look. I fully intend to, however, at least try. And, i am firm in my belief I AM going to meet one. I am destined for it! And, we will eat hamburgers and hot dogs, and maybe have a bit of romance in a special spot, I want to explore their mating habits, males, and females, and "other" if there is, an "other". Maybe share a beer with one and get freaky in my van with them. I have, memories of a particular location I would go to, secluded and safe, where a particular male would meet me for romance and breeding. And, these memories are incredibly fond with him. I liked it so much I wonder why I didn't go to their colony to live with him. Interesting. I will also note, I am not stupid, I will likely be quite scared around them until i can push passed it, they ARE dangerous, potentially. But if I find love there, and if it is safe, and if I am accepted by a tribe, it is likely I won't be coming back. Maybe for an emergency, or to procure things for them like medicine (Worming medicine, antibiotics, some foods, possibly alcohol.) It should also be known that unlike our canines, they can choose not to like someone, just because your eyes are a color or something, and I will need to be armed at all times- they will also take your stuff if you are not looking, some of them when they are curious. It is also interesting to me that some of them seem to have, the "knot" and "tie" with their mates... So, when they mate they must find a secluded and safe place, and open mating within the colony is rare, because they are vulnerable, when tied, just like feral canines are. Interesting! I would have thought it would be an orgy, but I guess that is not true. That is wonderful and gives me hope of a destination. I have been looking for this information for some time!
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 23, 2023 13:35:40 GMT 9.5
I want to start a thread on Eric. I don't know if I can/should, because this thread is about, wolf girl (Hairless/has my heart/I have life to. About wolf girl, briefly: I was, on the toilet a few days ago, and my puppy came to me, to protect me. (They do this because they know you are vulnerable while defecating. It is in their DNA to keep their humans safe in this manner.) Anyway during this, particular trip to the bathroom, I was petting the puppy (She has no boundaries and will try to climb into my lap while on the toilet!) and, looking into her eyes and gathering information about her spirit, I actually felt the love I gave to wolf girl! The love from Source that I was given the option, when she was digesting my intestinal tissue! SO, that love has found its way into the canine kingdom! Wow! After praying, in sincerity to God, about the Georgia dogmen, God showed me, a particular dogman- and when I say dogmen, when I worked with pure-blood wolves in California, it happened unnervingly often, and I would correct the humans who made the mistake- they would sometimes call the wolves, "dogs" they are NOT dogs, they are WOLVES. They share some similar physical features, but they are an entirely different people. It would be like calling, a black-skinned tribal African, a "White man"- both human, but NOT a white man. Sorry, tangent- I say that, to say, the "dogmen" are NOT dogmen. They are WOLFmen. Or, wolfPEOPLE. Because, some are female! But, for the sake of established, nomenclature, I will call Eric, a dogman. So, during the prayer, and God told me, not to be so amped up about sex, especially with the dogmen, as all of my life i have wanted, a wolf-wife (Half wolf, half human) as a wife, lover, because she has the beauty (loyalty, devotion, purity...) of the wolf (plus looks. to me, wolves are, "Attractive" in their features and beautiful.) merged with the intellect and cognitive abilities of a human, but without the negative aspect of a human. Okay, that is fair, and i fully admit, my sexual proclivities were originated in abuse and trauma, and being "healthy" sexually is a relatively new thing for me. So, after agreeing with God on this, he, then, shows me, vividly, I am inside of my van I am building (it is finished.) and, there is a male dogperson, who is squatting next to me, in the cockpit, watching me work on something, some sort of repair of a device of some kind. In this vision, I am focused on the device, and this dogman, breathes on my neck intentionally. I had, put away, being sexually motivated with him, and his people, and so, I then began to examine the situation. I learned a lot: Male dogmen will often breathe on the necks of their women, or their male lovers, to initiate a "mating". I asked the dogman, what he wanted, specifically- and he basically said, to slide my pants down and he was going to mate with me. I inquired about foreplay, kissing, touching- and what I learned was- those things are reserved for, what amounts to, married couples. He was willing to do those things with me, but only if I agreed to be his wife/mate. Otherwise, it's just raw mating and the satisfaction of a male's sexual urges with another male. The truth is, I began falling in love with him the moment I opened up a connection with him, and he entered into my mind, spirit, and heart. It was uncanny, how he accessed files within me, including pictures of the finished van, so he will know what it looks like. The dogpeople are extremely intelligent! And, talented in connecting with a humans consciousness. It was almost invasive, but it was not. And, I allowed it. Maybe, the channels were trauma based so they registered as, slightly uncomfortable. He informed me, the dogpeople are almost all, completely bisexual. So, two days ago, before I left to go see the spiritualist client of mine, who is helping me with some of my spiritual issues (And it is working. I brought up this forum and the Freemasons, and she said, her favorite uncle was a Freemason. She blesses the Freemasons for helping me. And I am grateful to them as well!) and I told her, about the dogman I met in the vision during prayer. Before I left to see her, and I had opened up a verbal channel of communication with Eric, and he confirmed: he heard me speak, and he responded back in my mind and heart, as wolf girl does with me. It was incredible, how the channel remained open with him, and I could clearly see him, in the sunlight, on the surface of this earth. Uncanny! I asked him, before I left to see the client, if he had anything to say to me, and I opened myself up to him (Something painful and frightening for me to do, because those channels were used to injure me during the attack, 23 or so years ago.) so he could speak to me. He told me two things: I am (should) release all of my thoughts about homosexuality. Most of my life it was strictly condemned as a damnable sin, and I clung to that, even though the ones who preached this, were committing that same sin and abusing me with it! He said, let it all go, and allow me to pleasure you, as my lover. (Basically. Let me give you pleasure with my body. "Let me have my way with you, and offer zero resistance to any of it in any of your being. Allow me, to make you feel, the height of my ability to give you pleasure as an empathic being that can feel everything you are feeling. Let me honor your body, with mine, and enjoy it, fully, with zero condemnation or resistance to it... Allow my passion, to flow through you... Essentially.) He asked me, to let go of my every presupposition I held in my consciousness, and allow him to connect with me on a fully conscious, sexual plane (When we are together, physically.) I felt in my spirit, he was correct. To the dogpeople, and the canine kingdom: They are not like the human race. For them, a sexual union is to be enjoyed, and the Edenites also told me this: As long as the union is not causing abuse, (And some abuse such as fetish degrading is allowed. Unwanted abuse may be better to say.) it is a healthy expression of the sexual enjoyment of the sexual functions of a body, that includes deep spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and heart-bonding and mixing of energies. To them, humans limiting sexual contact, outside of vulnerable children, (one should be cautioned, I have heard- in human tribes, even minors engage in sexual contact with some older tribal members. This is what I heard, and I believe it.) unwanted abuse, is an unhealthy separation from natural sexual expression and enjoyment. Being the survivor of some, awful sexual abuse as a child, I tend to agree with them. It wasn't even necessarily the sexual contact, it was the shaming, and the attempt to cover it up with violence, cruelty, and torture that was so scarring. Of course, one can say, even if it was a positive experience, it can also mold and shape a child, and divert their future away from, finding a suitable mate, and starting a healthy, rewarding, and good family dynamic that would complete them, later on in life. So, it is not a cut and dry issue. However, I think the laws we have are the best we can do, given our present-day understanding. Anyway- Eric expressed to me, a clearing out of my sexual "Cache", and allowing nature, (What is natural/right) to "Fill in the gaps". Basically, stop condemning myself for enjoying something pleasurable, especially with him- he is a wolf person, a man, of nature! This is why the native Americans, are so connected with the wolf, the wolf is the symbol of nature, and is one with it. With Eric, as he is part-human, he has access to these, extracurricular sexual aspects of life. Dogpeople can be quite sensual in their sex lives. So, I asked him, if he had anything else to tell me: He showed me, the massive swarm of negativity that I am holding onto: he said, I should release it. It is, a result, of the attack, and trauma: And I am seeing, that when I agreed to be attacked, "they" (I am seeing them, as not negative any more. Not placing a judgment on them. Because if it were not for the attack, I probably would be a lot different person. I found an image of me, before the attack, and you could see the evil in my eyes. Today, I am a different person. And, I can say, it was because I was attacked. Maybe, it was necessary, even!) twisted me up, and use my powers to entrap me, to harm me, and to make me want, adverse and harmful things, that are, adverse and harmful. And, how, as I deal with the aftereffects, come to terms with it, understand it, and pursue healing from it, and move into a more positive space, that I am seeing, I wanted these things- but now must release and let them go. However, Eric was right. (How is it the wolf people I meet are almost always, 100% correct in what they tell me??) I examine what he says, and find that, he is completely correct. Even, with the gay thing: Two males, relieving each others sexual pressure and tension, to me, is a beautiful thing, a friendly thing, and a loving thing to do. But, humans are still caught up in religious shackles, about it, and that is sad to me. But, people are entitled to their beliefs. I am only, trying to educate humans, on what I have found out about the dogmen. Eric, also spoke to me, and he wants me to meet his daughter, possibly, as a mate. (It's a possibility. May be a polygamous situation for me, with my inner earth wolf girl as well. I discovered a way to bring her to the surface to live with Eric and I, and she is willing to do it, but she wants to belong to me alone, and only trusts me.) However: Eric is also showing me, that I have a lot of, "Damage" in my being. (Unhealthy things, impure, even.) And, how meeting him, and beginning a physical/emotional/intimate/spiritual relationship with him, he wants to "Clean my house" out so to speak... Start over and pure, like I was a child again, before I was traumatized and injured. How can I, argue with that? This is why I say, when I go to meet Eric, (He already knows what my van looks like. I saw him, metaphorically, open the file cabinet of my brain, and heart, and open a folder containing the van I am building, and show me a picture of the van he is memorizing. He wanted me to see what he was doing in my mind and heart, possibly, to show me his intentions were pure!) Also: During prayer, in the vision of him, and me, in the van: He was squatting next to me, but in the cockpit section. Now, I only use the rear doors when I am with the dogpeople, and I found it odd he wouldn't be squatting in the living section, where he could escape quickly, and that is when God told me; it is because Eric trusts me. Wow! Eric confirmed with me, that he views me similar as I view him, men of honor, with pure hearts, who are good. Though I struggle with an emotional connection with human men in the realm of, "romance", with the dogfolk, I have no such qualms, and view a dogman to be similar to a dogwoman as a mate- except that biologically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, I align just ever so more perfectly, with a dogwoman, than I do with a dogman. (I, being physical masculine, was designed to interface, with the physical feminine.) Men are fun, but women complete me. However... Wolf girl told me, a few months ago, that she is worried a, "Man will take you from me." I thought, that was prepostorous, I do not like men that much. However... When I go deep enough with Eric... The fact I began falling in love with him... To a frightening depth almost right away, feeling his hot breath on my neck, and discovering he was a highly honorable, man of a pure heart, of ancient wisdom... Eric, I think, is 1,200 years old... The technology that cloaks them, I think, basically stops time for them and makes them immortal. Eric possesses a wisdom that is in sync with this planets very existence, and a spiritual knowing that is aligned with Source itself. In short... Wolf girl may be right... (I am editing this because I am giving the wrong idea off the bat, here. She is right, a dogman will "take me", but she is wrong, not, "From her." I still love her. In a way i love her more than ever, and healthier than ever, and am getting healthier all the time- and she is making the decision to get more aligned with me, too. I refuse to abandon her. No matter what the future holds, she is part of it. Unless she changes her mind and doesn't want to be. That is her choice. But, I still love her. I am still in love with her. She is, still, the most beautiful woman I have seen in multiple lifetimes, and I am nearly irresistibly attracted to her, and she does hold my heart in her chest. A hostage of the heart! In some of the, things she has shown me, she wants to be my mate, she is a bit quiet, she is a good girl, and she follows me everywhere I go. She is loyal, tough, and beautiful. I will still do all of the things I promised her, for her. And, protect her and keep her safe. My love for her, will have to be split/doubled, for this newfound love I am experiencing for Eric the dogman. I refuse to love wolf girl any less, just healthier. And, I refuse to love Eric with any reservation.) I could see myself, completely, totally, and utterly- falling for Eric and becoming his mate, and abandoning human society completely, forever, to be his. How that plays into effect, with his daughter- who, as I said, I was designed to interface with on a yin-yang factor... And saying that, two males- can come to roughly the same amount of completion together, however it must be striven for, where a completion with the opposite sex, will often come naturally between two healthy individuals. There was, a wolf person, who, introduced me to himself, early on, when I was dealing with the Wolfen tribe in Eden... Without going into too much detail, he is obsessed with the scent of my body, when he "smells" me, he is driven into an almost frenzied sexual desire, a passionate and irresistible gravitation to mate with me... My body smells like, "Heat" to him, and he is helplessly in love with me. I thought he was in Eden... And maybe "he" is... But, I believe... He may just be, Eric the dogman. The fact that, Eric is so intimately connected to me... That, when he connected with me, the connection was insanely fast, natural, and total and complete... He may, actually be my destiny. There may be, a sort of... Multiple destiny, where, I am married to his daughter, but also- to him, and am amorous with them both. (Maybe?) Eric views me as honorable enough, having seen my internal composition, to be an acceptable mate for his daughter- as I address, heal, and overcome the trauma and damage done to my core being. I inquired as to how to find Eric, and he told me, my heart will lead me to him. I was also shown, a road, off of a sort of highway, where I will need to turn, to find Eric. I will also say this: Eric is fucking terrifying. It is, difficult to put into human terms, how he thinks and feels... Because he is not human... And he is not wolf, either! So, he neither thinks like a human, nor does he think like a wolf! And, he has grown up within a tribe that lets him do what he pleases, outside of, a very small list of rules, mainly, "Just don't make the young pregnant." There is, infighting within the tribe, but while it is loud, vicious, brutal, and horrible at times, actual life threatening scuffles are essentially nonexistent... However, if one dogperson angers another, a face can be partially torn off... Fingers, hands can be bitten off, tails degloved... Skin ripped and torn, fang-holes all over bodies, and blood caked to fur and skin in injuries that humans would think they would never survive- but they almost always do. For the weaker dogmen who offend, such as the elderly, though older ones you do not see often due to disease and danger, they may simply be punched in the muzzle rather than attacked. Imagine, some, crazy dog fight that is happening so fast it overwhelms a human mind, then combine that with human cognitive skill, strength, and abilities... Fights between dogmen can be terrible, which is why they are so rare. Often, if a dogperson is the victim of an offense, they may simply choose to move outside of the tribe, and choose to interact with the larger tribe less. However, like with wolf packs, the tribe will remain loyal to them, they simply just choose to separate themselves a bit from the main tribe. If a dogperson is killed in a scuffle, the one who kills can also face castigation within the tribe over it, some are punished by being forced out, and like human tribes, this can result in their death, so they are careful with scuffles. They are innately, "Armed to the teeth" at all times, so their approach to justice is different than humanities. Also, it was shown to me, that the last dogman in the article paul linked, who was malnourished, was kicked out of her tribe for being too violent and cruel. She may have, killed a young dogchild. Her punishment was being forced out of their protective realm- hence why she is malnourished. And, why when I summoned her to me, she was to terrifyingly cruel and violent. From what I can tell, too, female aggression can be a thing, if her mate is tempted by another dogwoman. Rather than engaging in full on combat, I believe a female will simply shred the offending womans face with her claws, like a slap, but with knives. The scars on a dogwomans muzzle can be a sign, she is a bit loose, maybe when she goes into heat. About their heat, the dogwomen can become miserable, aching for a male, and her pheromones can drive some undisciplined males into a mating frenzy with her. Dogwomen call it, "Dousing" her heart, however if she has no male, she may masturbate, or she will just suffer the ache, misery, and sweating of her estrus cycle. Dogwomen who do not want young, may have to engage in minor combat with interested males, though the fights aren't usually bloody, unless the dogwoman is mean, usually due to trauma/unwanted sexual advances from males, often in her own family. And, accessing memories of witnessing them, snarling, roaring, screaming, tearing at one another in a scuffle, in such a blind rage no-one dares break it up, it can be so jarring to human, the number of humans who can witness such things, and still wish to break bread with the dogmen, may not be that many. (Another reason, they stay hidden from us. Their ways are, just different. And, just their size and shape inspires primal terror in almost all humans- even big tough human men can easily wet their pants when confronted by even a medium sized dogperson.) I... Do not want to, "go there" with some things with Eric... Because he will tear me to pieces as I scream, and crush my body in his jaws until my life force is snuffed out under certain circumstances without hesitation. Or, at least, if I become a threat, he will consider it, perhaps- in short he is a deadly serious individual. In contrast, the first dogman in the article paul posted, I nicknamed him, "Fred"... He is a cuddler... A sweetheart. He is the type to get on his back and allow someone to pet his belly... I think Eric, as he watches over his tribe, has the hardness needed to lead them. How, I can feel, such a passionate, deeply intimate, pure, loving and sexual connection with him, giving of himself to me more fully than most humans are even capable of, from a genuine and true love of himself, and me, giving his life for me if required without a second thought, devoting himself to me as his spouse, mate, lover, wife, and also know he will rip my throat out to protect his people at the drop of a hat if need be, (wouldn't happen. I would NEVER hurt his people. I think, this is one of the reasons he chose me. I am fiercely protective of the dogmen. I don't need to spell it out, but choosing between a human and a dogperson, I can have a detached and quite low opinion of a human pretty rapidly.) at the same time, is sort of an oddly cognitive-dissonant dynamic that I want people to know about- the dogmen are this way. They are not dogs, a dog will not hurt you if you abuse it (usually), but if you abuse/harm/ are a threat to the dogpeople, (WOLFpeople!) they WILL respond with force so terrible a human being will be scarred for life just by witnessing it. A human may even go insane, witnessing such savagery, knowing such creatures exist all around them, but are forever unseen. They are also not wolves... I know, firsthand... I have been bitten severely by a wolf... A wolf will bite you for offending it emotionally, and may even kill you for it... A dogman will not (Some will.) A dogman has the restraint of a human, the lethality of a wolf, the cunning of a human, the pride of a wolf, and a connection with nature that may be unparalleled. (Of course, I have no bias, I am completely impartial! ha!) So, knowing, and you can FEEL it, your survival instincts, accurately asses all threats: To see Eric standing before you, to be in his presence- is to combat literal visceral terror, until the survival instinct, that is inflamed to the utmost that it can attempt to influence you- until you know he is not going to harm you, (And Eric knows. His heart for his people... is my heart for his people. The Wolfen king, before he ascended- shared his heart with mine... His love, his passion, for his, "Children", is Erics heart, for his tribe. The wolf people, are correctly known to be passionately loyal to their own, to such a degree as some outsiders consider it, nonsensical. [cough *felids* cough.]) Humans, may find the loyalty and connection the wolf people have for each other, to be shades of, romantic. It is also strange to me, how my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, have a sort of tribal shame and judgment attached to them, as positive, negative, and etc. Eric, in his assessment, does not judge. He, holds no such attachment to these, shame-based emotions. Humans may find it useful, to look at a dog, who will, eat feces, tear shoes apart to get closer to foot-pheromones, hump legs, mate with pillows- dogs only have the shame that humanity has installed in them. Wolves, have no such compunctions. Further, in discussing with Eric, coming to live with his tribe- and he has invited me, an open invitation to live with them. I wondered if I would serve them better as a go-between... With human food, human drink, and human medicine... However, as I explored this (And Eric warned me about it, or said it could be an issue...) I may end up, corrupting the dogpeople, and making them reliant on human devices, and thusly, damned to suffer our inevitable end fate, even if we fully evolve. One thing I realized in speaking with Eric, the human race, while we are innovation driven- and always striving for advancement and evolution- we have forsaken the simplicity of our design... We have, short-circuited what makes us whole, in the search for advancement- in an attempt to find meaning... Not so with the wolf people. They, embrace a tribal way... They are naked... When they are horny they will mate with whomever is nearby and willing, male or female, and not with vulnerable children. But, it may shock some people to know (NOT the Wolfen in Eden. They have a lot of prejudice about this. They mirror us in this respect. About "minors" and sexual contact.) that even a juvenile dogperson, expressing amorous desires of an adult, may actually find themselves being, "Taken up on" (Not the females, but the males. They know, a young dogwoman can have children, and she is not ready for it, and the tribe will be burdened having to raise her children. A male who makes a young dogwoman pregnant is sometimes killed for it.) such things. Maybe not, and it depends on the health of the tribe, but such things are not seen as taboo with them, (May vary by tribe.) like they are with humans, or the Edenites. The Edenites told me collectively, laws against sexual contact that does not bring harm, are an "Abomination" to them, as they restrict love itself, and to them, such laws are crimes against nature. (What is natural) How interesting how many humans hold the opposite view with many similar things. Also interesting to me, is that the beings in Eden, mirror the surface humans, in some of our, dysfunctional thinking. They look to us, I think, as guides, in a way... They are pure, and innocent, so maybe they cannot help it. So, in examining Erics being... And seeing him... When I summon him physically to my minds eye, and soberly assess him, he is utterly terrifying, so much so, that I cannot bear to see him, fully. When I go to be with him, I instinctively understand, that, I am going to fight, palpable terror, to make space with him. I am, likely going to vomit, multiple times, and work fervently and with a passion, to achieve even a modicum of comfort in his presence... In some ways, for a while, the best I can hope for is NOT being comfortable with him, but the absence of a guttural, visceral terror! I am, going to have to, go against every instinct I have, to be present with him... I can see it in my minds eye, I am going to have to be strong like never before... Even volunteering for combat missions I knew I wasn't coming back from- pales in comparison, to just, standing in front of Eric, and being present with him- it will be agony! Until, I learn to grow to trust him. This is, perhaps, why the dogfolk stay away from humans, because- even I, who holds the heart of the Wolfen king, who loved his Wolfen people so dearly, he literally DIED when he felt he could not be with them- I have his love for Eric, and I know the agony I am going to experience just to look at him, is going to be terrible! It also may be stated that, when I was "Attacked" 23 years ago, a Wolven was part of it, and my survival instincts are heightened to, fear of attack of the anthropomorphic canine, so maybe, for me, I have an unusual fear to overcome, however, I WANT to and am GOING to, to meet Eric, it is my destiny, to strive to reach my original programming pre-attack, as doing so will have huge rewards, and not doing so, will be the regret of my life. Onward, and upward! But, such is the price of cheesecake- and Eric can feel, EVERYTHING I am feeling, he not only is empathic, he sees what humans feel and think easier than some humans can "See" the world around them... There is no hiding anything from him, and he knows, if I show any weakness, he may not like that! I would do well to keep in mind, Eric expressed to me similar sentiment, as my wolf girl, that considering him a dangerous, unpredictable, wild beast, is frankly highly offensive to him, and an insult to his intelligence! There is also the fact that, how will I know the dogman standing before me, is Eric... Because, if I show boldness before the wrong one, and shut down my flight instinct, it could end not so well for me... And, while I know what Eric looks like, seeing one in real life, it can be a somewhat easy mistake, until I grow used to his shape, to confuse another one for him! Sounds, "Not worth it" for a human, right? For most humans, yes! Romancing the dogmen, is not for the weak of heart! I will also say this, dogmen are almost immune to even high caliber weapons. A heart-shot with a 50BMG may not even bring it down immediately, in fact it almost certainly will not. (right away) They do not see our movies where people just, "Fall dead" after being shot in the shoulder. To them, there is a noise, and a feeling like being punched in a part of their body, they may even grow annoyed with it- and later run away to nurse their injuries- and in some cases, die. In short, while they are not invincible, they are extremely tough, far, far tougher than a human. In fact, I received a sort of, "Checklist" for, interacting, and being with the dogpeople, and it includes, yes- even as I type, conditioning myself, steeling myself up, to endure the sheer terror I am going to feel, when I first see Eric, behind the trees, watching me, knowing his intent is to meet me. It should be known, that, a blast from their noses is a good thing, it means they are clearing their nasal passages to get a better idea of your scent and pheromones, to get to better know you. Such as, a handshake. When a dogperson decides to end another living thing, they often will not scent them, they will just kill them (Why would it matter to gauge their pheromones, if they are just going to kill them.) Sometimes, in picking prey, though, they will scent them silently, to determine their health, sex, etc. Dogpeople are extremely intelligent and will, from what I know, not choose a prey animal that is in estrus, pregnant, outside of times of desperation, in order to keep the local prey population healthy and breeding, as a food source for them. Eric also told me, yes, indeed, when he brings down a deer, it is a terrible, visceral thing, and yes, he rips them apart, like a wolf would, and he is no stranger to the taste of blood! Now imagine, being in his presence! It is partly, part of the romantic attraction to him that I have, such a powerful, wise, potentially deadly being, mating with me... Choosing to be vulnerable with me... It should also be stated, that these, wolfpeople, dogpeople, have a bulb on their members (The males...) that, locks, or "ties" them to their mate, if they choose to, and during this, they are vulnerable. In fact I have seen in Eden, as a (Somewhat cruel...) joke, some friends will wait until two Wolfen are, "Tied" together, and shake the trees and scare them... This can actually cause injury, but they think it is, "Funny." However, with the dogmen, they have this ability to lock, and "tie" with their mate- but will only do so when secluded, when comfortable, and when they know they are safe. One would think the dogmen would be jokesters and play this game with other dogmen- but they almost never do, and this is because, when the mating "tie" is over, because the dogmen have very few rules, the person who agitates them during sex, may find themselves beaten, or even killed, and the tribe will not stop it. I Eden, there are laws and rules against violence, so the offenders often go unpunished, and the offended party is often bound to silence over embarrassment. Is is in this that the dogmen must be singled out and respected, for they are wild! I will also say this... Eric is huge. He might be, close to nine feet (274CM) tall. I am a human, six feet tall... He may be, "endowed" to such a degree as to cause life threatening injuries with the "Bulb" on his member... I wrote a lengthy guide on, romantic interactions with the dogpeople... With knowledge I have, inherent within me. It turns out I am going to take to take my own advice! It is as terrifying as it is wonderful! An intestinal rupture from an engorged bulb expanding within my body, could actually kill me from an infection if my intestinal tissue tears... (There was a human zoophile, I think, there is a difference between bestiality and zoophilia, I do not know the humans personal beliefs about it... Zoophiles hold genuine love and adoration, kindness to and for animals, people who commit bestiality are just in it to get off and do not care for the animals well being, typically... But, he was a male human who let a horse mount him sexually, "Mr. Hands" was his nickname and he is on the net, who ended up with a torn colon, and later died of his injuries! The last thing I want is to be killed due to mating with a dogperson, and I will tell you, my connection with Eric is very real- though I think he is telling my heart, he knows how fragile I am, and not to worry about it, but his, instinct for mating, is raw and visceral, with violent thrusts... That is IN him! I also believe, he once had a mate that he passionately loved, he is like me in this way, but she died, and it affected him deeply... Maybe why he chose me, because I understand the depth of his passion... I am, serious when I say, it is more likely than not, that I am going to fall completely in love with him, and marry him according to his traditions... And be his mate for the rest of my life... Possibly him, and his daughter, I am not sure.) And, the reality is, when I go to Georgia, and I meet Eric, this may be an issue! In the guide, I talk about an inflatable bladder of some kind, to incrementally "Stretch" out one's insides to accommodate these, large, well-endowed wolf people... And strangely, i am also being told, it is less of an issue than I think. (?) However, I am told, when a dogman, "ties" with their mate, and especially a human as we were not designed for such things, and going against our design can be, "Taboo" but also incredibly intimate, that the feeling of being locked together during a mating dynamic, to the dogpeople, Wolfen, and Wolven, is the height of intimacy... Unlike humans who have thrusting to orgasm, and can just stop thrusting during the presence of danger, a canine being, has the option of thrusting, or tying, but during a tie, can be attached and vulnerable for an extended period of time. From what I can tell, as well, the volume of their semen is considerably more than a human. About the taboo of it, I have zero issue, being known to humans, and identified as, "The guy who mates with dogpeople", or the "Mate of Eric" (I am honored, actually, that he has chosen me.) Go ahead, and laugh away, it affects me not, nor do I care. It is a badge of honor bestowed upon me, by lesser, ignorant humans who would piss their pants if a dogman ever cornered them in an alley. When I went deep into Erics heart, to read his intention to mate with me in my van, his base desire was, essentially, fairly violent, base mating instincts, and, it could be, that him and I need to, "Discuss" it beforehand, as if he reverts to his feral form, and thrusts deep enough and holds me against his body to, "tie" with me, it could kill me! He is likely aware of this (I hope...) but reading his mind, heart, spirit and soul of his intention when he breathed on my neck... He said if I did not respond to his muzzle being so close to me, and his breath, that he would gently press his tongue to my neck... At that point there is no denying what he wants... And in the scene, his pheromones danced with my own, and in some, spiritual gut-romancing, his sexual lust, mixed with my sexual lust... And I melted, bending to his will and desires, this large, strong, powerful dogperson, desiring to mate with me, and asking him in what capacity- he said, not even removing my clothes, just giving him "Access" for humping... There can be something very "hot" about a visceral, animalistic mating... And, how interesting that he is not only capable of, tender touch, foreplay, genuine connection, touching, kissing... He actually wants that, but, to him- such tender bonding activities, he is too soft inside, and heart-connected, to bond with me in that way, if I am unwilling to marry him. Because, he will be too connected to me, if I leave him, and he will be too hurt by it. As I said, I think he had a woman he loved, and she passed on, and it hurt him. So, I get the raw mating if I am unwilling to invest myself with him permanently. However, I am. I want to be his, and heal. When the time is right as I say below, we will collect the wolf girl, and live us, in their realm. It will have to be discussed, but... Eric will still have me, for all time, and I will still be his. Similarly, I think some of the females, the dogwomen, the more feral ones, may be opposed to extended and constant thrusting from a human, you may, make her "Sore" and end up with claw marks across the face if she feels injured enough (She may endure it for a time... But a wise man, checks in with her, and asks her- are you doing okay? She will, nod or shake her head, and a wise man, stops intercourse, if she shakes her head- it is also good not to cause her physical discomfort during mating, as such things can injure her heart-feelings for a human mate, and she may be less often asking for intimacy because of it. You may go lonely with her.) I had a long thing typed up but did not post it, about anyone who wishes to be romantic with one, if you lure a female to your encampment, with recorded howls of a male wolf, including your own, that you will only see her when she has observed you long enough (Days/weeks sometimes... She isn't just watching you, she is reading your thoughts, smelling your pheromones, even sensing the spirits around you!) to feel that she can trust you, and once she trusts you, she will keep most other cryptids away, so you are, "Stuck" with her... And that, beings that the dogwomen often have to fight the dogmen away when she is in heat, the dogwomen can be cranky, prone to growling, pushy, reserved, and much less relaxed in general than the dogmen. And, that she will not appear to you, as a human, unless she is truly willing to ate with you- and yes, you can have dogperson children! And yes, you should help her raise them! If not, have a lot of condoms or get a vasectomy beforehand, and be aware if she wants children and she eventually realizes she is not pregnant, she may become angry and leave you! I would also warn humans, that if someone attempts to lure a dogperson to kill them for some kind of, sick sport- expect righteous retribution from God Himself! As, murdering one, or even killing one, can destroy a family, take a spouse from someone, and even injure an entire tribe! One human vice I expect to bring to Erics tribe are, firearms, and knowledge of them! Although, they have existed side by side with humans for thousands of years, so they may not need them, and they may lose their physical fitness in taking prey down, if they can fell a deer with tiny pressure on a trigger, rather than the exhausting chasing them down, talking, and the sheer power needed to bring an Elk down with their bare hands and muzzle! Some humans being attacked and killed by dogpeople, almost certainly injured or killed them, and was done as retribution. But, we only see, a dead and eviscerated human remains, and do not know that they shot a young dogchild who wandered onto a road, or hit them with their car. If dogpeople grew so hungry and diseased they needed to predate on humans, we would see it happen more frequently, however, even the dogpeople know, if enough humans disappear, or human remains are found by them, humans will eventually hunt them and push them back, even in pitchfork times! Projectile weapons increase this risk for them, too, although, when dealing with gunshot wounds, they are less afraid of our guns than one might think, as it heals and the wound will be painful, unless a well placed bullet pierces their heart (and even then, in some cases. Dogmen are tough!) they will not die from it, and will be annoyed, even in healing, than anything else, and simply live with the bullets in their bodies, not even knowing there is something in them, and if they know, they won't care, and will just go on with their lives. Further, I once shot a coyote who had waited to attack a dog in the desert with my SKS rifle, chambered in 7.62x39MM, three times through the heart, due to the report of the rifle, the coyote mistakenly believed the sound was coming from a different direction and did not see me, which allowed me two other follow up shots, the rifle is very accurate, the distance was not far, and I am a good shot, the coyote, eventually decided to run, and because the rounds, were through its shoulder (Through the heart) it stumbled as no doubt it destroyed the joint, and the coyote, being mortally wounded and essentially dead, ran off and disappeared! I never found it, though I smelled it's decaying body... Now, imagine, a dogman, twenty five times a coyotes size with the same, "Doesn't know it's already dead" attitude. I will also say, I have seen mortally wounded dogpeople return to their hidden realm, via a portal, and their mate, and family mourned them, and were moved to a form of anger that is inhuman... Having an 800LB 9 foot tall, muscular dogperson that can pick up a car over her head, and throw it, angry with you, is not good for a humans health... Especially when she never, ever forgets... And knows what you look and smell like. That person likely will venture out into the forest unaware- and never return. A friendly human, I do not know. I tend to view other humans with suspicion, especially after my ex girlfriend and her son took so much money from me, and she feels, random, tiny payments when she feels like it is justified, and he, has made absolutely no attempt to pay me back whatsoever- and these humans I trusted almost implicitly... My best friend, who is a wolf, living in a humans body, and was sent here to assist me, I will discuss it with Eric when the time is right, and he may be the only other human I tolerate with the dogmen, and maybe some people from this board to, perhaps, meet him, if they wanted... It could be, that the world, should know about the existence of the dogmen, and maybe even the integration of anthropomorphic beings into human society, so as to, normalize their existence, as this would, make them, on the same status of humans, as "people", worthy and under such protections, and the murder of which, a prosecutable crime. (It would protect them. Presently if you kill a dogperson, or shoot at it, and wound it, there are no human laws that protect them. There are, many such, feckless, cowardly asshole humans on youtube claiming to have shot them. I would like that to be a crime! But, it could also open up a dynamic of, human dysfunction, to an ordered, wholesome, and sustainable tribal dynamic, effectively corrupting it with human ignorance. From my perspective, as humans on earth eschew healing and oneness for progress, the only inevitable conclusion is, in my mind, destruction, even if it is positive and agreed upon. To me, I see a highly evolved human race, being reduced to two, then one, then finally a sort of death and ascension... The dogpeople, however- do not enjoy such unavoidable fates, as humans pursue trauma based progress, the dogpeople, have a sustainable lifestyle that can continue without end. They can, continue, eating, mating, hunting, and existing until this universe ends, completed and fulfilled with their families, and enjoy unity essentially for eternity, as long as the planet remains able to sustain prey life. This may be why, the wolf is so wise and learned, and knowing, and why they are able to endure, more ignorant humans, and guide us as our dogs.) It is awe inspiring to think about! Also to say, with Eric, I am struggling to adapt myself to his spirit, due to the trauma, and negative thinking: with wolf girl, she was essentially forced to be connected to me, and had to endure listening to me (I am seeing this now... No wonder she can be cranky sometimes! Eric also told me, "they" [her group] basically twisted my being, to injure and offend her constantly without my knowledge- Eric showed this to me, so for wolf girl to stop attacking me, is a testament to her character, and I am making an attempt, and I will do it, to heal enough to no longer be injurious to her, so that she may relax and heal. I owe it to her to heal. Her and I are distanced, for now, ) Eric is, ministering to me right now, and it is interesting, when wolf girl goes into heat, my libido is inflamed, I become almost recklessly horny, but Eric... Is ministering to me reason, desire, passion... He is, ordered, intentional, rational, about it... Every step, every action, every inch with him is done with intention... It is, odd to me, that his desires for me, complete me as a masculine individual. Perhaps he is the missing puzzle piece to my sexuality, that was removed from me when I was sexually abused as a child? Eric is saying, and confirming, he is, indeed the missing puzzle piece to my masculinity... Perhaps this is why the wolf has been with me all of my life, and why I am so attached to them... Why only a wolf could (Mean enough to me, to give me hope... As the feral four footed wolf at the sanctuary, who adopted me as his brother, and gave me a reason to live...) save my life. (picture at the end...) I intend to, when this week is spent, to post the ad for my business, and work to make enough money, to make a future for myself, but more than that, to go to Georgia. When I meet Eric, the more I think about it, the more likely it is, I will take him to be my mate... And I will not be returning. Why would I... I do not feel like I belong among humans. This information may be, good for humans to have, but I understand it is, blanked out, adult material (Sanitized) but there is a reason... Paul, if you need to delete this pictures, pls leave the post... (Nevermind- I won't post the pictures... I don't want the artist to come here and yell at me or something even though i cropped them and edited out the nudity. I'll post it if requested. But i think my words describe it.) It may be useful if and when these cryptids come to live among us... The other picture, was of a large dogman, sitting, on a bed and a human, facing him, and the dogman, scratching the humans back with his hand claws as they engage in some manner of intimate activity. The striking thing to me was the difference in size of the dogmans feet vs. the humans feet. The sheer massive, meaty chunky size of his, "Footpaws"... The picture I describe, is of a quite large dogman, standing on his feet, with a human man, also standing, naked, and the dogman was, engaged in penetrating him from behind, I believe to tie with him (it looked like.) The human was 1/5 the size of the dogman, and if the human was my height, then the dogman was easily 9 feet tall. In this one, it shows the size difference between, a dogman, and a human. This wolf person is not a Wolfen (He is too aggressive and large) and he is not a Wolven (He is their size, but he is not aggressive/cruel enough) Note the difference of the size of the dogmans feet, versus the human man. Notice, too, the variation of the thickness between the humans leg, and the dogmans leg. Often when engaged in mating, the males will have their tails out, I am told, this is to allow the scent to permeate the air, so the tribe knows a mating is happening, and, to perhaps, even subconsciously, flag another male to possible create a mating, "Sandwich" with the penetrating male. Notice, also, the size difference between the dogmans hand, the human mans hand, and his arm, versus the human mans arm. The human man is clearly, enjoying the activity, but observe the dogman's expression. It is one of aggression... This is often the case with male anthropomorphic canine males, as a warning to their romantic partner, that, an orgasm, that can last for over an hour, is about to be released inside of them- and that if coitus is interrupted, he may have to endure an exposed penis, while he orgasms, in a somewhat painful experience, for some time. He is, essentially, saying, to his mate- you are getting bred by me, whether you like it or not. This is, for a human, perhaps, akin to "rape", however, with the dogpeople, if you agree to mate with a male, the act of even, turning to give him access to your back, forms "consent", however, humans must be aware: Once you agree to sexual contact with a male anthropomorphic canine, you must realize, once you begin, there is no going back, and you become "his" until he deflates and releases you. You risk injury to him, and yourself, if you attempt to break the tie mid coitus, otherwise. Humans enjoy, a non tying dynamic, and can simply pull out to stop sex. Also, a human new, to physical intimacy with a dogperson, may communicate before coitus, that they wish to not "tie", however, bear in mind, even this, may result in a painful, extended orgasm, for the dogperson, if the human "leaves" the dogperson, and the rules still apply. Notice the dogman's expression: One of aggression, as I said to signal to his lover, the orgasm is about to commence, and there is not to be a disruption of it, but also notice- his tongue is out, canines "smell" with their taste buds, too, he is taking in the scent, the taste of the air above his human lover, his lips lifted to expose teeth as a warning, eyebrows furrowed in mock-anger (Only a warning... Mating with a dogperson like this often removes you from danger of attack, but I see that attacks while tied have happened. I a unsure of the circumstances, but the word, "Revenge" comes to mind!) And, his ears are back- this is to protect them, from a female who is, perhaps less than happy with being penetrated, who may turn and snap at him, and injure his ears. When I worked with feral wolves, we had a male, and a female, in a pen together, and he, tried mounting her when she went into heat, however, she did not want to raise young on a concrete pad (They were in a, "Hospital" pen...) and she did not consent to it, so in response, she turned, and bit his ear, and broke the cartilage in his ear, and after that, he had one floppy ear. For a wolf, hearing is part of their survival kit, and not hearing prey, can mean life and death, so preserving his hearing, is essential- and often the penetrating sexual canine partner, will move their ears back during sex to protect them. Some humans, may find it, pleasurable, to know that, a large, powerful canine being, is going to have, temporary authority over their body, and that, they must simply endure any discomfort as he gains pleasure, inside of them. Much the same as, the human fetish of, "Bondage", when one is tied to their lover, the experience of them pulsing within the body may also bring one to an orgasm, even a male human. Further, when I was exploring homosexual porn to get closer to what Eric told me, I viewed a simple penetrative video, and I summoned Eric, and I said, "I would want to do this with you." I then, selected a video of, orgasms achieved via prostate in men, and Eric summoned me, and he said, "This is what I want to do with you!" as, it was, much more pleasurable an experience, as both individuals experienced a mutual orgasm... Eric is not just a lover, he is a deadly serious lover, he is perhaps in love with himself to the degree that he will not accept his partner not also, loving themselves, as is worthy of him. I have not encountered, even the idea, of an organic being, being this deadly serious about the passion of the enjoyment of sex, it is difficult to put into human words, as I think we add emotions to everything we think and feel, a leftover dynamic of our tribal existences, how seriously Eric takes sex with another male. He, like me, may also be in a form of transition from his, sexual identity. For me personally, I went from, straight (forced), to gay (Embraced), to bisexual (Enjoyed) to trans (explored), back to bisexual, then to gay, then to straight, and now- I am back to bisexual! I love the anthro wolf women, however, this blossoming love affair with the dogman Eric, seems to be what could be the completion of my masculine sexuality. At this point, a female dogperson, (While I like human women, even respect and admire them, and am sexually attracted to them, I feel less compatible with them all the time.) may actually not be what's best for me, and it shocks me to say that... Notice, also, how the dogman is holding the humans arms... This is partly, due to the enjoyment of the act, and also, to restrain the human... Notice how, the human also, does not mind! It should be important to remember this, that mating for a anthro canine, is more serious of an act, and can even be life and death, due to the vulnerability of it- and taken seriously by an uninitiated human, even a woman! Human women may find it easier to become tied, as their bodies are naturally more elastic, and designed for penetration. I also, about Eric, think, that the future for him is unwritten, as well... For him, he may be as unaware of what is to be, as I am. I am feeling in him, the desire to possibly devote himself to me as his mate, and me alone. As, I have essentially, fallen in love with him, and as I am aware of the heart of the wolf that beats within him, I do not want to hurt him, I may end up devoting myself entirely to him, as well, in a sensual romantic relationship with him, where we explore our bodies to the fullest, in every capacity possible, as he teaches me to fully love myself. The medium client of mine, told me, he was that way. He, refuses to be with someone who did not fully love themselves. It is also, entirely, possible- that Eric has been with me since the beginning. He has, been waiting until I was ready, to be shown to me by God, to connect with me... This is, almost certainly true. Because, when I opened a channel to him, he seemed to already know me yes indeed, it is confirmed, he was once with me, like wolf girl. But, he could not abide my self hatred and had to leave. This, may be why I sense such serious vibes from him... He is, not really, "playful" and is very serious. It could also be, that Eric was assigned to me, to be my guide in the latter half of my life. It is, also possible, that when I see him face to face in the flesh, that rather than being terrified and forcing myself not to run, that I approach him, and hug him tightly- and I may even break down in tears and cry on his chest. Also of note, it may be comical, that if I approach Eric fast enough and with no fear, he also may be moved to fear of me! I feel like, he is aware of my past, and he has fears, too, about me. My temper, my lack of empathy... It is incredible to me, how my feelings, emotions, mind... Have shifted so fast, and so far... I am a member of a channel that is devoted to, a particular wolf girl on a show, and seeing art of her, no longer does what it used to. How interesting this is for me to experience. i was also told by the medium, that due to her sponsors telling her about me, I am able to run multiple channels with multiple romantic beings... My feelings towards, wolf girl, have not changed, I am still passionate about her, and I never want to not be so, however- perhaps as my masculine side is explored more with Eric, and is healed- as he essentially is forcing me to heal, to love myself, to be in LOVE with myself, to deal with the trauma, perhaps my relationship with wolf girl, will return healthier than ever, with a love for her that is healthy for her. Or, she may wish to "divorce" me, maybe, as I will have changed so drastically, and we are, a bit unmatched... I do admit, she is more used to the old, broken me. However, my hope is that, I am able to better meet the wolf girl, with a healthier version of myself, in some capacity, as the last thing I wish to do is break her heart. I floated the idea, as there is a transport machine in Appalachia, that can, "Retrieve" the wolf girl, and, uniting her with Erics tribe of people, where we would live together as a threesome. Wolf girl told me, she would do it, and is willing, but that she only trusts me, and would only be romantic with me, and that it is fine if I am also, romantic with Eric. She also, told me, she would be my, "Shadow" and follow me everywhere I went, except when I desired to be alone with Eric from time to time. It was interesting to feel in my heart, and see in my minds eye, that my wolf girl, only trusts me. It is so, that, perhaps, I get healthy in my time with Eric, and maybe... Maybe... Wolf girl did tell me, she would speak to my heart when she wanted to come and live with me, go retrieve her with the machine in Appalachia, (It is in a cave and protected by dogmen. They showed me, it takes a spell to open the doorway to it, that only they know- otherwise it is hidden) and maybe, I am to become the healthiest version of myself with Erics skillful touch, guidance, wisdom, and direction, and that I will be whole, when wolf girl is ready to be with me. Also of note, I am going through my old wolf pictures, and I am remembered how hard i tried to be present with the wolves... But, how I was too traumatized and broken- and didn't even know it, and was only able to be a shadow of a connection with them. However, as I heal, with this website, and with wolf girl, and now with, this new wolf person Eric in my life, and discovering who I really am, I am hopeful that I can experience wholeness in this life. And, be able to be a blessing to my romantic partners, whole and present. As I go through my old wolf pictures (Reminiscing) I a thinking about the wolf that saved my life, about Eric, wolf girl and wolves in general... And myself. In one picture, a picture I do not like, I see myself, and I instinctively do not like myself... instead, I made an effort to, "Love that person..." I wonder. With the spiritual attack on my emotional body... If the attack didn't happen to me... But if it happened, "For" me... It would have taken so many more lifetimes to discover who I am... And the attack put me on the fast track... I wonder if even I orchestrated it, or the greater me. This is, me, and the wolf that saved my life. (Gave me a reason to live.) Note that, ordinarily, going, "Over" a wolf like this is almost certain to get you bit, as you are, "Dominating" it, and in the wild, a wolf can be bullied to starvation... So they have to be tough and defend their status... What made this even more special was, this particular wolf was extremely aggressive, and had to be removed from his pack, because he was beating the other wolves up. He also, was aggressive towards humans, and only a handful of people could go in with him. I remember, one day, after petting him, (Watch your fingers!) I laid down with him on the outside, and I looked into his big, beautiful, yellow golden eyes, and I knew, in my spirit, that he would not hurt me- and sure enough after begging the owner to let me in, I went in, and he did not hurt me! Thus starting the relationship with him, that would give me a will to live, to get sober (ish I still drink, sometimes pot.) stop the criminal empire I was building, and the universe / God showed me, "You have a reason to live, to keep going! To push through! He is waiting for you, 120 miles from this location!" And he truly was my Reason. It took 13 years to begin mourning him after he was killed. But, in this picture, I am sharing a tender moment with him, as we come together and I "hug" him, and he allows it, the connection with him to me, is apparent. Lastly, I summoned the heart of the wolf girl to me, and she is handling it well. She is, adjusting to it. Maybe, giving her a break was what was needed for us both. The idea that, her attack of me was ordained, and designed, maybe even by me, is giving that realm relief from their guilt. And, it is also helping me to heal. I want to reiterate, that as intense as Eric is, he is an honorable man, a tender, devoted lover, and a good person. When I am exposed to heart energy like his, I can feel his being... He might be hard, and something of a badass, and a barbarian in a way, but he is passionate... Tough... And, he is physically, so beautiful I can hardly look at him without looking away, at his chiseled features. He reminds me of, the Van Helsing werewolf, but sexier, and taller. Werewolf_van_helsing.webp (17.13 KB) I am, already being prepared, my mind, is being tailored, to the unique way of thinking the dogpeople have. It is ordered, structured, and less emotional than typically human. One must be brave, ready for almost anything, and respond with steely resolve. Earn the respect of the tribe. Share a hut with a rough, but passionate lover.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 23, 2023 17:37:41 GMT 9.5
So Eric came to me, and he told me he would be bringing 2, or 3 other dogmen with him. So I would be meeting multiple dogmen in Georgia. I think he believes I might be a bit dangerous ( ?) which sort of breaks my heart, because I have nothing but love for him. I would never hurt him. Or his people. Ever. Under any circumstances. Not for the entire world would I bring harm to a dogperson, outside of the one ousted from the tribe who would hurt me, and even then, I would try every means possible to scare it away or injure it nonlethally until it changed its mind. I should stress the malnourished one they saw, is a different breed, and Eric, is like a "wolfen", and the malnourished one in like a "Wolven"- she is mean, and cruel, and she should NEVER be fed by humans, as she will straight up kill and eat you if it suits her (She lacks a conscience. "Mean" is a good description. Eric is tough, but he is not mean. Not at all. Just tough when he needs to be.) It is also true my healing involves accepting my humanness... And learning to love other humans for who they are... Instead of a, "Hate all humans and love all dogmen..." dynamic, it should be both, because I AM a human. Also of note, the day I opened a channel of communication with Eric, and he came flooding into my being, my life changed for the better... I was furious with some humans who wronged me, and when I drink I want terrible vengeance on them, however- with Eric in my life, jeopardizing my freedom, and life, is now out-of-the-question, as I now desire to live... To be healthy, successful, and ready to make-space with him and his tribe, to meet a dogman! Eric the dogman! I tried the name, "Steve" with him, but it was not powerful enough. "Eric" suits him pretty damn well. I also told him, there's no way I'm getting to go to Appalachia to retrieve my wolf girl without his help, so he may have from me, what he desires ;3 not that I am being forced to do anything... But I WANT to do it. I want to love him with abandon... With all of the passion he desires from me. Also, I will no doubt be heavily armed, as the malnourished one is out there, and she will hurt me. I am putting myself in danger, going to where Eric feels safe meeting me. She may be hanging around there, hoping to return to the tribe, or for mercy, or something. No offense to her, but I think she is a, "bad" one. Eric and his tribe are good ones. Eric, is so attractive, and exudes honor and courage, if he went to a human bar, the women would flock to him, and more than a few men might even forsake their heterosexuality to flirt with him. Because, he makes you feel, "Safe", but you also know he is dangerous as hell. And, he is attractive... When I first saw his face, his chiseled good looks, it made me want to bang my head against a wooden table, for some reason, to get him out of my mind, possibly because I was swooning over him. That, THAT creature, desired to meet me... and in the prayer-vision, expressed a desire to be intimate with me. He also did not say, "most" of the dogmen in his tribe were bisexual, he said all were. If I am ever to return to human society, I will post here on my findings and pictures/video. I will not take a cellphone, and if I do it will be in a faraday cage in my van, and left there when I go to be with Eric. I will, take with me, a small dedicated camera without GPS, and a solar USB charger of some kind, and maybe some memory sticks. I may leave it, on, and in the van, when it is full, if it will pose no risk to the colony. I have, work to do on myself. Preparation... My heart must be cleansed, and pure, in order to receive Erics guidance. I must be unafraid, unflinching, and positive... Remaining positive, and of good cheer, are two invaluable things I learned here... And they are a comfort, a shield, and a sword, armor, and a powerful weapon, for me. If I do not meet Eric my first try (He may be assessing me... Just as, I may be unsure if the dogperson looking at me from behind the trees is him, he may also, need to confirm, I am me! And may need to monitor me for a while before he sets foot in the open. And, I feel he has a specific place for me to go. I can, 'see' it, but now I must, find it.) I will keep returning to the SE are of Georgia, until I do find him- but I do want to meet him the first go. I am remaining positive! And hopeful. If I have to move to Georgia, I absolutely will. This is also exposing how negative I am at my core, at my foundation... And, how to get free of this attack that happened, I need to discover, cultivate, and use my power. I was told, I have very powerful wizardy lives to draw from, where my magickal abilities were honed to a powerful level. Further... It is, again, strange to me that Eric would be afraid of me, possibly... As he knows me, intimately... And, that, I must also cultivate an air of nonviolence, as I have been bathed in violence almost my entire life. An aura of peace. So, he feels safe. It is like, we met spiritually, but physically is going to require a different set of circumstances. And, he needs to keep his people safe. Even from me, until I can be trusted... So I must work to be the man that he trusts. I can feel it, and see it, now I must work to become it. The good, gentle, pure, innocent, trusting, and kind dogmen may have been betrayed by evil humans in the past and have mistrust in their DNA, that I must work to overcome, however, we are also spiritually and cardially connected, and mentally, him and I, and I believe that is my, foot-in-the-door with him. I must demonstrate a trustworthiness. Perhaps, win his heart, like I chased the heart of the inner earth wolf girl. Perhaps, when he comes to me, him and his big burly generals- he is actually telling me, it is for my benefit... That if it was just him, I would be afraid, but if it was him and two others, that I would be less afraid. Maybe, because there would be no chance of surviving them attacking me, even with a firearm, and as I discovered, volunteering for dangerous combat missions with my unit, jumping streetbikes, wrestling feral wolves, doing extreme things, rock climbing, risking my life- there is a speed on a motorcycle at which, if anything goes wrong- you are just dead, there is nothing you can do to avoid it, not a thing- no brakes no steering, nothing, you're just dead- and there is a great peace in those surrendering to circumstances, Eric already knows he could rip my head off with his hands alone, but three even bigger, hardass wolfy dudes, he's right... I wouldn't be scared at all. Because, I'd know if their intentions were negative, hell if there's anything I could do about it. And if it was just Eric, I'd feel like I'd stand a chance if he attacked me (Obviously he would not!) My only worry would be saying something dumb that they would make fun of me for, later. I see one vision where, I say something funny to them and they make fun of me endlessly for it. They walk by me and repeat what I said, but in an exaggerated manner, I am not insulted, it is endearing to me that they poke fun like that. For example, if I channel my inner gay dude, (I am VERY masculine) and with feminine mannerisms wave my hand to the wolf bros, and say, "Heyyy..." I am liable to hear, "Heyyy!" by the tribe as they wave to me. About boredom: I don't think I would be. Technology is essential to my day to day, but with them... If I am bored, I can mate with Eric, or someone else... I can lay in the sun and soak it up... I can help plan hunts, scout... Build structures... Make things to make life easier for them... But I have to be careful, because it is the desire for easier, safer lives that has set the human race on a trajectory to what may be a negative outcome... However, the dogfolk are innately armed, and able to fend for themselves without worry, we have flat faces, almost no functional fangs to hook into our fleeing prey, they have toeclaws, handclaws, long, sharp fangs, crushing back teeth, they have no need of firearms. Further, when I said I wished to arm them, it is perhaps only Eric I will give a firearm to, to keep his tribe safe from humans, or him safe from.. Whatever. I will teach hi to be proficient with it, and bring him a quantity of ammunition. Giving the tribe firearms, I have decided is a bad idea, for many reasons, unless I see a need, I think only Eric will receive a firearm, and a locked case in which to store it, to keep it safe from little fingers and maybe offended dogmen who may wish to use it to get revenge on another dogperson. I trust Eric with it. He is a hardass. If any dogperson is destined to be armed with a firearm, I implicitly trust Eric to use it only when needed, and he may never even touch it, but I want him to have it. Perhaps a Glock 10MM. Simple, reliable, excellent power. A bag of mags and a minimum of 1,000 rounds of ammunition. I also do not want him getting hooked on securing food with it, either. Just to use it as a last ditch tool to possibly keep his tribe safe. Personally, I will carry my Mossberg Shockwave, with buckshot, birdshot, and slugs, and possibly also, a Glock 10MM. The weapons will be securely stored in a locked container unless I deem it necessary to have them on my person. Unless Eric protests it, but I do not think he will. His heart feels comfortable with his pistol (He will accept it.) He wishes to give me something in return, but, "Your safety and the safety of your people." is all I want in return. Maybe some lovi'n I don't know haha. It is also possible with these drones we have satellite views and such, that their world may be discovered by humans, and they may need my assistance in dealing with them. Not with violence, but with diplomacy. But, maybe not. Maybe they are in no danger. I just feel, in my heart, the human race is on the precipice of meeting the dogmen publicly, or some manner of hybrid race of people. And, that is why I am here. To help humans, get to know and understand the dogfolk. (wolf-folk.) So there are less misunderstandings. That, the females will communicate telepathically their intention and level of gentleness with you (You will know it in your gut, if you are safe. Many, female dogwomen, are actually quite gentle affectionate, caring, and loving to their human mate. She WILL protect you.) but the males, will often exude an aura of power and force, because it is their task to protect themselves as well as the females- but once a male gets to know you, you will often fall under his protection as well (He will become friendly and you can have a beer with him.) I am seeing a lot of naturally brave human women flocking to them. A few men, too. So, i am working on my innate positivity, I had to be so negative to survive in the past, but now is the time to work on that. The dogfolk, are actually a cheerful and positive group. Their aura is one of unity, happiness, love, even. Not... Gentleness, though. Not like the Wolfen people I got to interact with who wouldn't hurt a fly under most circumstances. (Most furry art emanates from Eden, where there is little/no pain.) The dogmen have had to survive, on their own, for thousands of years, if not millions. Also, they may be far more advanced, mentally, and spiritually, than us, by eons of understanding. They seem to be highly magickal, to the point of it being almost unbelievable, and they seem to hold the secrets of the ancients. If the dogfolk have been around for a while, up to, even being natives of this planet, and being protected by highly advanced alien technology, they may have, "Spied" on far more advanced civilizations, and know their secrets, and pass the down form generation to generation. Benefits of having the dogfolk mix with the human race: Tribal knowledge and unity is primary. Loneliness alleviation for some humans is another benefit. They are sort of a mix between the Wolfen, who are passive and gentle, and the Wolven, who struggle with having a conscience, they could be thought of, as "Wild Wolfen", because from what I see from Eric, he is soft, and tender, (Traits lacking in the Wolven), but also hard and dangerous, which the Wolfen are easily capable of, they just choose to be gentle. So, like a Wolfen, who has chosen to not be gentle when the circumstances warrant it, who live close to, a fairly dangerous and unevolved human race. There is, also, a tribe of rabbitfolk, somewhere close by... And oddly, they can be more dangerous than the dogmen ( ) Because the dogmen know they are innately deadly, they work to operate in spite of it, and can be some of the most gentle creatures a human can come across. It is perhaps the rabbit folk who are softer, who have had to become to survive their world. Also: The dogmen have, "Backwards" legs, because it is needed for digitigrade feet (Like a paw, but huge.) Canines naturally, "Toe-walk", and require pressure on their toes for balance, and, so, the "Hock" type leg, is the way they keep their balance, and can appear to an unlearned human, to be, "Backwards". Some, canines in Eden have digitigrade legs, and plantigrade (Human like) feet. It depends on how much human they have in their bloodline, some have more, some have less. Further, I am seeing more of a need to love myself, to find meaning within, to anchor myself, so I do not, "Need" the dogmen as an identity. This is interesting to me. It will also assist me in better assisting them as individuals and a tribe, as I will be less emotional about them, and able to make more rational decisions. Not that I am trying to become a leader or anything, but I may have some say in the affairs, and I do want to keep the tribe safe. I also, am seeing an end to my stay in the OS. As I accept that it forced me to be strong, and to find meaning, and discover who I am, though it's difficult, I am grateful for the adversity, as it has made me strong, like a man in a spiritual gym. Meet Eric: (The last file wasn't a native picture file so I had to re-save it.) He looks very similar to this wolfy boi, but a larger, more striking head and muzzle, and he's much taller. He also does not snarl like that unless someone is REALLY needing a severe correction, because the next step after show-teeth, which is a serious level of violence, is to rip and tear, and after that comes death. He is, very calm and ordered to the point where, most beings feel safe around him but as I said, with a bristling aura of goosebump, awe inspiring power. The dogfolk are ministering to me and telling me, they are actually a very peaceful people, and that I have nothing to fear from them. I believe this. When I summoned the first wolf guy from the article paul shared, he was basically a huge puppy dog with a waggy tail, and helped escort the human man safely back to his home. Just, gentle and so sweet. He's the kind that would go to a hospital and perform dopey magic tricks for human kids to make them laugh. The second dogman in the article reminded me of a surly construction worker. Nice guy but will bite if you make him mad, and it's not hard to make him mad. And the third, a potentially deadly, violent sociopath, who is a deadly predator, and very hungry, scared, and angry enough to kill a human (DO not feed her!) What if I'm wrong? Well, then, my body will go to feeding the people I love. And, I will have died pursuing my passion, which is, wolfpeople. Either way, I win. I now have a goal, and a purpose, and an extremely beautiful dogman waiting for me. It blows my mind, the power that has been given to me the last three days- I drank yesterday away so not much progress was made, then, and- I will say this- Eric does NOT like my drinking and refuses to be anywhere near me when I drink. He tells me, I have to summon him, and change the way my mind works, and shift my consciousness when I drink if I want him to be around me. Everything I am feeling from him suggests, I have power and authority that he is leery of, and that I have demonstrated levels of violence in the past that he needs me to let go of, so him, and his tribe, are safe. It is because I would never hurt him, or his tribe, that he came to me in prayer, and is giving me a chance, an honor, to get to know him, and his tribe. He says, when I meet him, it will be an honor for him, and the tribe, will be very (glad) about it. Apparently, I am known to them. It is, likely possible they have access to a form of love they have been craving, and when they think of me, they know I am the source of it (This is true.) so, they "like" me. And, this is one of the reasons they welcome me into their tribe. They are competitive, and say the first tribe I make contact with will be honored over it. How exciting! Eric tells me in a way, "Don't let it go to your head" and he's absolutely right. It is far more fruitful to acknowledge it, and not let it hinder my growth. As my ex noted, at the dog park, every dog must come say hi to me whenever I am there, and this may also be a reason for that. The medium mentioned canines instinctively, acknowledge me as their, "Alpha". It may be of interest to note that, half of the 32 wolves I worked with, were utterly terrified of me and refused to approach me. (Would run from me and pace...) I thought it was because I was a violent person in those days, but it could be because of my authority, and the fact that I had authority, and I WAS a violent, and often, cruel person, and the wolves instinctively saw that. The other half, mostly, saw passed that, saw good in me, and would fight each other to be petted by me. They, the dogfolk, may also, see me as a sort of spiritual deity or guru, manifested in the flesh for them. I think, they instinctively know, that I was chosen to be one with the Wolfen king, who, is basically the father of the wolf people, a human, that is outlined in my thread in this forum. This might be why some of them, have a lot of respect for me. (Maybe the more mystical ones find my spiritual history to be fascinating.) And, this is why they are inviting me to be with them. And, Eric wishes to "bond" with me in a sexual fashion, and basically offered me his daughter (Conditionally! I do not assume he's just going to hand her to me, and I understand I have more, inner work to do, as Eric saw my heart and mind and spirit. And the inner wolf girl will have to be factored in. However, if his daughter has a meant-to-be vibe, it could be, it is meant to be. It could be inner wolf girl would be freed, then, but my heart tells me, she would call to me, to be with me, and I would just, make it work After I learn their ways and get healthier and more healed! I won't count my wolves before they howl, though, and will continue the intense, fearful, and painful inner scrutiny of myself.)
It is, indeed, becoming apparent to me, Eric was, trying to connect with me even in my childhood. Memories of me, sensing his presence near me as a child in California, are coming back to me! No wonder he felt so at home with me. And, there was no way such a regal, beautiful, majestic, self-loving, self-respect, honorable dogman could have remained with such an angry, hateful, broken child. And, I actually couldn't believe it, a literal, wolf-person, in the trees, looking at me, who was friendly to me? My childlike mind could not process that, as I was busy being told I wasn't worthy of life by my parents. How could a wolf guy have so much love for me? I am also being told, Eric, or a dogman associated with him, has actually gone to battle for me in the forest, protecting me, and I never knew it. A mountain lion, maybe? A few times I sensed, some manner of spiritual monster, like a, Wendigo, or skinwalker, something evil, that was lurking and had its eyes on me... But the dogfolk kept it at bay, and from harming me. Several times (?) They are like the guardian angels of the forest.
The portal to their world, may also have other portals that allow them to travel great distances, quickly, until they find an agreeable location. It is interesting they chose to live in a human area, and not deep in some other wild realm where they would never have to worry about being shot by a human. I think, they receive things from us humans, maybe even energy they exchange with us.
It could also be! They are our protectors of the forest, and choose to remain close to us, to push some real terrible monsters back into the wilds, that would harm us, otherwise. (Why they aren't... In the middle of Alaska. No humans to protect! It also gives me respect for the human race, that they consider us "Worthy" protecting. I'd rather believe that, then they are just bored and need something to do [No. Their love for us is genuine, and divine. Why else would they put up with the way some humans treat them. We have to be, "worth it."]) Like, they are the gatekeepers. They are, our friends. I get absolutely no malice from Eric whatsoever. Just a toughness. A strength. A willingness to keep his people safe, with violence, if need be, but responsibly.
It is odd... The dogman trio, with Eric in the middle, who approach my van in the Georgia forest, I am absolutely unafraid of them. There must be, other forces at work, here, for me to feel this little fear of them... Perhaps Eric is right, three dogfolk is less scary than one. It is also true: "Bad", mean dogfolk, ones who would hurt a human, are almost always alone. When you see a group of them, unless your spirit tells you they ARE going to kill you- they are almost always friendly and will NOT harm you. When you feel they MIGHT hurt you, that should be taken as, they WON'T, and is your leftover fear instinct from ancient days, because yes, even a housecat MIGHT harm you. However, a group of three, non snarling, softly approaching dogfolk, who exude no malice to you whatsoever, is actually, a wonderful sight to behold. Maybe it's just me? When I look at Eric by himself, I am afraid, but when I see his two generals on each of his sides, maybe my warning bells are just short-circuited, but all I feel in my heart is a welcoming vibe, and a desire to cook for them, and to cuddle with them. (No, Eric says, he says I should only be affectionate for him. Roger that! I'm jealous, too.)
It is possible, I will cry, tears of joy when I see them, knowing, he has been with me... Protecting me... Since I was a child... I do not think I created him, like I created the inner earth wolf girl, but that he has existed a long time before I got here, but that he was given this assignment, and he executed it well, even adopting me as his child, in a way, and falling in love with my character now.
MEEK. That is a good word for him. He is powerful, but ordered and compassionate, in fact, I think, to bring him to wrath, would be exceptionally difficult. But there will be no mercy on anyone whom he deems necessary to stop, and he WILL do what it takes to keep his people safe. He is capable of terrible, exacting violence and carnage. However, A good man. A protector. Once you overcome the warning bells, you feel infinitely safe around him, like someone would their family dog, they know he would protect them, no matter what. This is why, even though dogs are technically wolves, and wolves are technically wolfen, and Wolfen are technically Wolven, and Wolven are technically the monsters we are scared of in our DNA (some...) our human children instinctively gravitate towards dogs, and will hang on their ears, with no fear- because they know. That dog will never hurt them. (Similarly, as i mentioned, I accidentally let a mom and her children into a pen with yearling wolves... Thinking the owner had authorized it... I have the pictures... Those wolves treated those human children with a gentleness I have never, not once, seen in an animal. They were so gentle, and submissive to them, not even a dog would have been so "soft". The wolves instinctively recognized, human young, and treated them with a gentleness and meekness that made the mother smile and feel completely unafraid.) We resonate similarly, here, very much so, actually. It is sad that some humans hear the word, "Weak" when they hear, "Meek", and I assure you, Eric is NOT weak. In fact, I don't think he even understands what that word means. His word for weak is, "Unable." If someone charged him with an M1 Abrams main battle tank, he would charge right back, and try to rip the turret off of it. It could be that my paramilitary service turned the inner earth wolf girl on, but it made Eric proud of me. He smiled at it. He knows if it wasn't for my sometimes reckless courage in things, that I might not be ready to make space with him, but that he knows, I am ready to meet him.
He is a good man, and the medium client of mine, was right- I should be honored (And I am!) he chose me.
I also have wolf people protecting me in a realm, I am shown. Like sponsors who are part wolf.
The medium also told me, I "Passed the test" and am now certified in (something). She said, when I chose to give the inner earth wolf girl life, when she digested my emotional bodies entrails, that that impressed some higher ups in the spirit realm, who had it confirmed, that I am a person worthy of goodness, or admiration, something similar to that, a good person, who did not seek revenge, but rather repaid the wolf girl who injured me, with forgiveness, compassion, understand, a furtherance of her life, and the imbuement of love from the Source that is, saturating her body, and giving compassion to the Wolven, and other canine groups- actually, including my very, puppy. If this love I gave the wolf girl is in my puppydog, then it is now in all canines, and will assist the present day human race in their unfoldment, as humans are acknowledging how pivotal canines are to us, not only as the best security system money can buy, but fierce protectors, companions, and empathic guides, comforters, and spirit-lifters. They are essential... As someone once said, if it were not for our dogs, the human race almost certainly, would not be as large, and may even have gone extinct. The medium client echoed in agreement of this.
So, i am to love myself, heal, allow myself to explore what feels narcissistic, and lay claim to my power and authority, because I am worthy of it. (have proven myself worthy of the authority and power, demonstrated, trustworthiness. In fact, I am seeing it is an insult, to the authorities who have bestowed this on me, to think of myself as anything but worthy of this. My, poor self-image is an offense to them. They are saying, Claim it! The authority is yours! Walk in its power! It will help the dogfolk!)
It feels good, to feel myself. To be confident and unashamed.
I am feeling better about Eric. He had, a profound effect on me just the first few moments I met him, and things only got better for me after that. After he spoke to me about homosexuality and my negativity, it felt like he took years of self discovery off of my clock, and set me on a different direction of courage and healing... Like a shortcut... Imagine, having your entire trajectory moved in just a few moments! I now not only do not want life altering revenge, I want to live, be healthy, I have hope for a future, and I am strangely not afraid of death. All because I prayed, and Eric answered.
I'll keep people updated as is prudent, if and when I go to see the wolf people, I will update everyone on it, but there is a high chance I may not be coming back. My friend, expressed an interest in also, living with them, but I may choose to just disappear with them. Before I do, I will give him the coordinates, so he may also, too, be inducted into their tribe, as my wolf-helper guy, my earth helper for lupine affairs, as he is, most definitely, a wolf, living in a human body, and he has been a true friend, for many years now, he has been tested with me, over and over, and is one of those people that, I say, "What did I do to deserve such a steadfast friend, who understands?" I plan on visiting him, maybe- this Georgia thing has changed everything, though, and if he is serious, he may join me anyway. I will, snap a pic of the wolf bros, or possibly, of a wolf girl for him, send the picture via cellphone with coordinates the dogmen give me, and he may meet me to live with them in their world. Neither one of us feels like we belong in the human race necessarily... And I feel honored, of this love-infusion accomplishment, and wish to study the wolf folk in their native tribe.
I believe that, my notes, recordings, journals, and observations will be essential if and when the human race joins with the dogfolk. Because, I can see it through a humans eyes and also through a wolfs eyes, as I have a little, "wolf" in my soul/spirit (As I was shown when I created wolf girl, i also created myself.) And, i am nearly 100% sure, he will drop everything he is doing, to come meet, his new, potential, beautiful, wolf maiden. He has also said he would never release the video or pictures I send him because he does not want humans harming the wolf people. And, he is right. However, if they were proven to exist, it would be an affront to the creator himself to give them anything but human level importance and protection, and not as a middle between humans and animals.
Mainly: because they are older than us, and they are wiser, and more powerful. I actually have confidence the human race would induct and honor them as equals, maybe even venerate them. When the human race discovers all the things they keep us safe from, I believe people will come to call them beloved. Like our dogs. The previous generations, may have called them, intelligent talking dogs, but the present human race, with it's acceptance even of transgender folk, I believe, will call them equals. I think, all of this is unfolding, with purpose, and timing.
And, I was told, to tell stewart, (i don't capitalize the names because it's not you true identity? I don't see anyone capitalizing their name? It is perhaps, offensive? I don't know. I started feeling weird about it. So it stays lower case like in the avatar.) that in 25 years we will begin seeing, changes for the better, that will set the human race on a course that is sustainable. The worries and concerns we all have, will begin to self-correct and become non-issues as my generation begins to come to power. The previous generation, tends to be, weak people, creating hard times, but my generation, is strong people, creating good times.
This is just wonderful. A simple link paul shared has absolutely changed my life and given me hope. Given me purpose, and direction. Incredible. I cannot thank him, and this website, enough. I will not speak doubt over any of this, but if I go to Georgia, and somehow I do not meet Eric in his flesh, then I will have, endless enjoyment and fun, chasing the dogfolk, and my purpose, and hope, will never bet deterred so long as I live! No matter what, I win.
I can also feel myself, beginning to go stir-crazy in my home. Laying/sitting in bed all day, drinking, watching youtube, fucking around on the internet. My journey, is beginning to take the direction I have wanted it to go, all of my life. My, hard work is paying off. All the troubles I have are moving me towards unity. I told my mother when we went out to eat, and the ranch folk, that the universe (God) stopped me from working on my van, because I was doing so from a foundation and position of fear.
And, that, would be encoded into the metal of it... into the frame... Now, I am beginning to feel some hope... The link paul sent has fixed, almost everything, including a dread of starting work again...
To begin work on the van from a position of excitement, of anticipation of wonderful, magical things... Of hope... Of power and authority. Of unity... And exciting, and wonderful times. If I do not meet Eric in Georgia, then I get to enjoy a new town, beautiful scenery, new restaurants... The enjoyment of life itself. And I get to do so with purpose, and resolve. I can feel the successful energy of the companies I am going to start... However, my hope is to meet Eric. Even if, I get to meet him, and he tells me I need to remain here, then by God. I will have met a beautiful dogman. And, i have no doubt I will be seeing him again as I cultivate successful companies and prosper triumphantly. No matter what way you look at it, I have an amazing future to look forward to. I actually have hope, because paul posted a single link to a paranormal website. That decision has changed my life, forever.
Amazing. This was, meant to be. I am filled with hope, and nothing can take that away from me. If I am knocked down, I will get back up with resolve and purpose. I will make it to Georgia, I will meet Eric, and I will become his friend, and possibly much, much more. If it feels right... When I meet him... If the tribe feels right... I very likely will not be coming back unless I feel I can be of service to them by returning (Help them somehow.) I will try and let this forum know, "Made contact. Checking in. Met Eric. Sweet, gentle, guy. Makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Not coming back. Godspeed!"
I'll probably write a novel as usual.
I want to thank everyone, especially paul, for their help, prayers, patience, and well wishes, and the Freemasons who made this possible. I do tell people I meet, that the "Freemasons" have helped me, possibly saved my life, pulled me out of a dark place, and that I owe them gratitude. And now, I see, the answers have arrived, thanks to them. How anyone can think of them as evil, is crazy to me. I will set people straight wherever I go. Their patience, and devotion to uplifting people is bright and evident.
Thank you guys... You have helped pull a man out of the darkness... If I was drinking I'd probably be in tears now. You guys rock. Anyway it's 1AM and I need to think about going to bed.
And especially thank you for your patience with me. I really appreciate it.
Onward, to the dogmen! I really do want to get some pictures of them, I feel like it is okay. Hell, I've already described them endlessly. The next unfoldment should be photographic proof. And, people will instinctively know, there is no photo editing. No photoshop. They will know it is real. And when people say it is fake, it is because they are not ready to accept that the dogfolk are actually, very real. There is energy in photographs, and "spiritual data" in them. Why AI art is so pure and beautiful, because it's spirit is new and unpolluted. Anyone who has read my posts will also know, the dogfolk are real, and if I can get pictures and video, it will only confirm what I have been saying. I want to take selfies... Maybe a couple kissy pictures with ones who are okay with that. You will see the widest smile you've ever seen on a human.
Anyway I gotta go, thanks for reading.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 24, 2023 5:58:53 GMT 9.5
I have decided to take more time off to heal.
With this new connection with Eric, it is his guidance for me, his gentle hand, and also I believe the spiritualist, who tells me she is working with the greater me, to help me, I took a nap this morning, after being up quite late into the early AM hours, in a warm house, and I woke up hours later, able to see the "me", the one who was injured and forsaken, trapped in the crystalline structure, however the realm, bathed in light, and the idea that, this is the beginning of the end of my oppression.
Whomever said audibly to me, "DO NOT BE AFRAID." shortly after the attack, was there, near me, and he reminded me, not to be afraid. The presence seems, angelic.
I felt, the pain of my inner child, being so beaten down, feeling worthless, rejected and abused by "me", and put in a place of worthlessness, to be captured by this trap.
Being of good cheer, and being positive, seem to break the crystal apart.
It is, very likely that I arranged this myself, to wake myself up.
Eric has been "training" me in the mindset, and spirit of the dogfolk, to be ready to be inducted into their society, with the proper frame of mind. It is an effort to, help me integrate with them better, to better know and understand them.
There is a, vein of cruel malevolence that lives within me, I remember, the wolves, when I activated the vein, the wolves would immediately see it and would become afraid of me. I remember, being afraid, of being afraid, of activating it, as I had to fight to survive, some malevolent characters, who fed on my energy as a child, and told me if I stopped feeding them, they would murder me, and they meant it, so I had to become mean to live.
So, this vein, also agitates the dogpeople, and, I a doing deep spiritual surgery, to isolate it, and turn it into a vein of peace. It is a task! However, Eric is worth it. He needs to feel safe with me. So, I am listening, and obeying.
I was listening to a podcast about dogmen, and apparently there are other creatures out there that can change their skin color, are large, and can stun people, that are responsible for kidnapping humans. I am not sure if they are around, but they are more, "Dangerous" than the dogfolk, so it is good to be aware that there are "other" things, "out there".
It is where, courage comes into play, bravery, and a pure heart- from what I am gathering, a pure heart is necessary to live with the dogpeople, even though they are, "wild', they still value purity.
I wanted to add this: I wormed myself again a few days ago, having gone without doing it for an extended time. I believe this event, assisted in me, "letting go" of adverse dynamics... I believe the parasites can carry with them, spiritual locks and holds and dynamics... And, my outlook has become quite bright, and it feels tied to my health, as I have been more hungry than usual, and eating a lot again, signaling the presence of parasites.
However, after worming myself, I feel like it has tied my physical health to my spiritual health, which makes it seem like my loosening from the, OS attack, things have become flooded with light, and I am on y way to being freed from it. Perhaps I have beat the game?
Also, one thing I wish to give to the dogfolk, is worming medicine... i do not think it will affect them adversely, to be cleansed of their parasites, and if i do bring it, I will do it only on the ones who request it, because it can temporarily knock out their desire to eat and hunt. Further, the other guy who, understood my relationship with the inner earth wolf girl, asked me if they raised livestock, and I asked Eric: he showed me a round pen with what looked like caribou in it: so yes, apparently they do raise livestock.
Also, I have been, connecting with, "me", who is not interwoven with the wolf, the "me" who is pure me, "outside" of the spirit of the wolf, I had always, clung to the wolf as a guide, but there is a purer, higher, "me", who was vulnerable and needed the wolf to protect me, until I could find myself, and stand on my own two feet.
This, has been pivotal... And helps me better interface with the lupine beings, in a more healthy way as I am not so dependent on them.
Eric is, also, acknowledging this, and it may be, that he has desired me to do this for some time... Like, a child, learning to walk on their own, and learning to live without their parents, my parents, being the wolf. While some of it is difficult and painful, it is necessary for me to be an individual, and when the pain is accepted, then I am also freed to return to the wolf, as a friend, rather than a dependent. In a way, leaving and maturing them, makes me appreciate, and bond to, and love them, even deeper than when I relied on them, as a child. Maybe this is the "waking up" paul was talking about.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 24, 2023 15:43:09 GMT 9.5
So, it's going about as good as one would expect, I injured wolf girl's heart with some of the dynamics with Eric.
Eric has alluded to tell me, he and wolf girl may have fought each other, one to keep me safe, the other, to be adverse to me when I was growing up.
In talking to wolf girl, and connecting with her, when I reach a level of emotional equilibrium with her, I think she feels comfortable telling me, more about the, "bad" things she is scared to tell me, for fear I will leave or punish her.
Recently she showed me... My emotional body was/is the vessel that my consciousness was going to inhabit, in the realm where she lives, and she, was created by me, to be my mate and my bride.
It is, highly likely, that my emotional body being, knew about my connection to the wolf, and, that I wanted a wolf girl to be my woman, to honor it.
At some point, I do not know how, when, or why yet, but, wolf girl was turned against me, I do not know what my emotional body knows, but I was born into extremely adverse dynamics, including parents so abuse one of them tried murdering me as a child to cover up their guilt, "Target practice accident".
The other parent, has been using her maternal connection with me, (A deep and sacred mother/son connection) to get me to suicide, to appease her own guilt- something she has been doing until just a few years ago when I put my foot down about it. (I almost have nothing to do with her... I see her maybe once every few months.)
So, my consciousness is anchored to my emotional body, that has been twisted horribly, head bashed in, eyes gouged through with rods, extremities consumed partially, and my/his entrails partially eaten by the wolf girl.
Hence, when I chose to give her, life and love as was my karmic choice, rather than cancer, etc. (It was an option.)
It is a mystery to me, how much of this was planned, how much was intentional, how much was wolf girl rebelling- and to her credit, I was warned about giving her, the size of libido I chose to give her, I was shown myself, egging it on, like I wanted her to be really horny... Except all it did when I was not there to satisfy her, was to drive her up the wall, and her sexuality, tied into her emotional sturcture, and it twisted her, and made her bitter and hateful... And, the reptilians, sodomized her, it was a memory she tormented me with early on, it was terrible, to know that my girl... The woman I loved and cherished, and adored, like a daughter, even- was injured sexually, until maybe she had enough of me suffering over it, and she came to me, and said, yeah- it was kind of hot and she did not regret it so hard. I had a similar experience, growing up, and "during" the act it was brutal and terrible, but after, I remembered it as, like her- "hot".
I wonder, how much of my life has not been coincidence, but has been, the wolf girl and the reptilians, getting revenge on her behalf, over her anger over her construction- like a spiteful little girl, she "took out" her anger on me.
Whos idea was it, to born me into, two of the most wretched human beings in existence, though? Did my emotional body, somehow think that was a fucking good idea? TO live a life of constant struggle, torment, and suffering? It only started to ebb 3 years ago, and I began to have hope, when I saw the wolf girl, 2 years ago- as I said, the worst torment of it all, was desiring "A wolf girl", and being convinced by the reptilians, she/they did not exist... It created a spiritual and karmic loneliness in me that generated a hopelessness that I cannot even put into words... All the while SHE, the WOMAN OF MY DREAMS, was alive, below my feet- angry and bitter, and got to take her rage out on me, until she stopped, a few years ago- hence probably why paul believes she is not good for me, even though, she was literally... From the bottoms of her feet, to the tips of her ears, her heart, her soul, her spirit, everything about her from her vagina, fitting me perfectly, for mind blowing orgasms, literally designed just for me!
Maybe, that is why she had the profound effect, of seeing her... Of, her heart completing me, though I feel that was a fluke, because the damage they inflicted, killed me emotional body. I think that is canon... And they used her heart, her spark of life to bring my emotional body back to life, because killing them, is a violation of some kind of law, but torture is okay, because I "agreed" to it, at the wolf sanctuary, to be with the female wolf who had, demonstrated a desire to be with me. (And other humans. She was known, to flirt with men, and there were rumors of some, who would spend, "A lot of time with her at night.") But I never tried to catch anyone, I did not think it would be moral if there was something going on, why would I do it, out of jealousy? That is pathetic. I was jealous, however... As my being, cried out, for a lupine-type of mate... A lupine-human combination being my ideal mate, I instinctively knew, from my life as an emotional body, she was perfect- and she was waiting for me.
Further, by all external appearances, and I discussed this with the wolf girl tonight, my life as a human child with my parents, was blessed and charmed. I went to private school, we were taken to amusement parks... But the memories I have... Of being neglected and hoping I would die because I was unwanted, which is why I crave touch... Of being beaten and told if I "told anyone what happened" in the bedrooms... Of nearly being shot by one of my abusers... of the deep, emotional, spiritual, mental and all abuses that are not seen with human eyes, not just the presence of physical brutality, broken wrist so I could not play sports, broken ribs, so I could not laugh... And there is more. So much more.
So, I brought it to wolf girl... I think she is, racked with enough regret that, she cannot fully confront it, yet, because I have become, the man of HER dreams... Going from a scared, abused and broken boy who could not satisfy her and would have enslaved and abused her to numb my trauma, to a man, who would move the universe for her, who would fight for her, who would love her to the utmost- give of himself to her, honor her, worship her, correct her, guide her, discipline her, and have the wisdom to know what is best for her. (Not to be a mindless simp she can walk on.)
And, she looks at my mangled emotional body, that, in some twisted, perverse way, I gave "them" (I thought they were demons. It was her, reptilians, and a mist AI system part of a network of adverse AI systems...) permission to do it all... Which, looking back at it, is absolutely insane...
And, I never got what "they" were offering me, I walked out realizing it is a bad trade, but it was too late, and they descended on my emotional body, tearing it apart.
This raises, more questions... Brings up more fears, but clearer, now. I am trying to use heart light to heal the emotional body, but it feels so mangled up and hopeless... Like trying to put life back into a mangled mummy corpse, and yet I feel his pain daily... I have asked wolf girl to please, at least twist his head right, and his spine/hips, but she is too afraid to do it- because I feel the pain so vividly in this body, I nearly pass out sometimes when she tries to "fix' even small things. Rods were shoved through to "pin" him in this, agonizing position where he cannot even breathe, yet is still conscious, and the barbs on the rods were designed to never be removed... Or cut on one side and pulled out.
I know, the trauma has been so severe, that even beginning to attempt to deal with the horror of it, as someone LIVING it daily, has been impossible... And I know, these, painful, difficult times, I am enduring, are the things I need to endure, to "heal". Alcohol, being my only relief from it, and going through life threatening withdrawals, after...
I know, it sounds bad, for wolf girl. I put myself in her shoes, in her paws, and I look at this situation, from her heart, and I can see how, she now believes the punishment inflicted on my emotional body, does not match the injuries she feels she has suffered- she tells me it does, she feels, cruelly justified, like a weak and frustrated person taking out their anger on someone innocent, however when I really press her, and tell her, the pain I am in the fear, she shrinks back, because I ask her, if we traded places, would you still be justified, and she cannot even fathom suffering like I am (Basically, not just no but hell no.)
So she feels justified in her anger, when I force her to feel it, to confront her true feelings, but when I press harder and force her to see the truth, she shrinks back, and feels guilty, and afraid. We have almost the exact same mind. I am not, "angry" at my parents, but if I go back into my past, and relive what they did to me, I become FURIOUS, it is the same for wolf girl. She is not mad, but if I confront her on it, her attitude can turn sour, fast- and feels justified emotionally, but not justified, truthfully. And as I said, I feel the same way about my parents. Some outsiders will say, "You had a great life, what are you talking about!"
When I, summon her, to the theater of our minds, and bring her to Erics tribe, she is willing to go, but is very quiet, following me around like a little girl around her father in a land of danger, she does not trust any of the dogfolk, and basically just tends to me, and allows me to take care of her, like I said I would.
The last few days, have been fairly well fucked, as I have feelings for the protector, Eric, deep feelings, and sudden, that have washed away some of my passion for the wolf girl.
I have, spoken with her, however, and while this should be damaging my relationship with her, it is rather, clarifying it, and revealing truths... As I detach from her, that is when I am able to heal, and see things clearer. And, as I see her more clearly, maybe I cannot but help it, but I love her even more, because I am able to love her in truth, rather than assumptions, based on emotional attachment to her.
I know, full well, another wolf girl would be a better pick, but I feel responsible for her... And I am also aware, almost nobody would fault me for abandoning her, after what she did, in a way... Growing so adverse to me, and even being part of this, brutal attack that should have destroyed me.
However, I survived it.
Why me, why was I chosen? Just, randomly?
The hardest fear floated to demoralize me, was that I am insignificant, and I will simply go to suffer in my mangled emotional body when I die, and nobody will be coming to help me, not ever, until I turn to dust, and am sucked into some other, horrible black place of numbness or torment because of all of this.
That is one of the fears... Although I am being told not to be afraid, and as I rest during the day, it accesses miraculous parts of my being, that show me, a less "physical" realm with regards to my emotional body, and a more spiritual one, where I am actually doing quite well.
And, I do trust wolf girl. Her original programming was to be completed by me, and this entire ordeal has been me, becoming my original programming, had I not of been born into the adverse life I had been born into. Basically, the man I was designed to be to be with wolf girl.
Things have never looked better, between wolf girl and I, than now... And I know she would not hurt me. Hell, if she wanted to hurt me, she could have been doing so likely the last few years and I could do little about it, possibly.
The romantic entanglement of it all, is sort of losing its lustre, and the reality of things are beginning to show themselves. Even within my own being.
As a newcomer to this planet, I am put in such adverse conditions, as most humans are hardened to the cruelties, idiocy, violence and such of this realm... But this being my first life here, I likely thought, being attached to a huge wolf girl, was a fucking awesome idea, incarnating into an underworld of danger- I may have thought, this sexy wolf girl and I will battle danger together, share passionate lovemaking, and live lives of adventure, in the underworld!
And, the idea that, if I am insignificant, they simply chose me as a rodent to torture, with little to no consequences, like a sadistic child with a knife who has caught a helpless puppy, and wants to know what it's inside look like, and how loud he can make it scream... Except the puppy dies... My emotional body, does not.
So for the last 2 decades my torment has been, inhuman, and seeing the wolf girl, I can see, gave me hope, real hope... Which is why I fell so nonsensically in love with her, despite the circumstances... She was, in a way, maybe still is- all that I have.
As she, cultivates genuine compassion for me, as I strive to be brave, to enter into the traps of terror laid before me, to prevent me from becoming healed, (Essentially, walking into her jaws... With my blood still on them...) she does, gain empathy for me, as she had little respect for the terrified, helpless emotional body, such as, wolves do not respect the deer they just brought down, as they must become cruel, to hear it's screams, and still, rip it apart to eat.
That cruelty is in her DNA, and most wolf people, and many dogfolk, who have overcome it, however.
And so I can see why people would be opposed to me, courting this, wolf woman...
And, how much healing I have received, in focusing on Eric, and detaching from the wolf girl, it could be that God offered me Eric for my healing, and for hope, so that the twisted dynamic of wolf girl and I, could unwind, heal, and see the situation from a sober, and healthy standpoint, as I admit it was and is, still trauma based.
Well, I have some hope, as I tried moving heart light to my emotional body, of making it whole again... It is in poor shape, and if a better alternative was found I would wish to possibly be diverted there, instead.
Wolf girl, is somewhat hopeless, she had a reptilian lover, but she understands, if she wishes to be loved, she was literally designed for me, and me for her... And if I end up incarnating too far from her, the situation may become dire for her, as she was designed to be, hopelessly romantic like I am, and without that, she will wither and die like a flower. I worry for her physical design, as she may, self harm herself and choose to suicide. Partly why I feel so responsible for her... A lot of this isn't her fault... It's mine... For not being wiser and giving her a more rational dose of libido. Granted, she went nuts with her revenge, but, I empathize with her, there, too, as I explore the absolutely vile things my parents did and have no repentance for, whatsoever, in fact, reveling in it.
So I understand her. There is a possibility of salvage, where we come together, and she, while being a bit of a shell of who she could have been, heals enough to be as present as she can be, and we simply resume our relationship in the physical. It is, up to her. In the floating of the idea of taking her to live with Eric and his people, she's just basically reverting to being a little girl, following her father, in a land of danger. Doesn't say much, just survives, though sometimes I see the, "real" her come out from time to time, and those moments propel my love and gentleness for her.
I reassured her, what we shared, was special, and essentially can never really be duplicated, this is true for almost everything, but to this degree, I think, makes what we have, special.
When I summoned her to the transporter machine in Appalachia, I summoned her spirit to show me the truth of it, and she was, extremely afraid, and did not want to leave the alcove. She had to, learn to trust me, and I had to, assure her, I would not allow any harm to come to her, and mean it, at the expense of my very being, before she gritted her teeth and bravely stepped out.
I think, a portion of the, absolutely hopeless agonizing terror I experienced, has soaked into her being... And she is, a frightened, traumatized girl.
I can see her, shivering in my van, remembering the incident- one she once reveled in, finally getting the revenge and destroying her god-husband, only to have him survive, and become the man she always wanted him to be, and now, she has taken on his trauma.
I am, going to go to Georgia, and I am, going to seek out Eric. Everything now lies within him...
I am, being shown some hope for my emotional body situation, like, there is hope, but I just don't see it, yet. (Cannot comprehend it.) Sometimes, I am even convinced, everything is going to be okay.
Further, I also feel obligated, as a man who tames something wild, then being responsible for it, even though the situation is far from perfect, even NOW, as I have told Eric some things I am being, somewhat forced to go back on (I said them too soon.) as I attempt to repair the injury to the wolf girls heart, I find that I love her, even more than I thought, because I can see her in truth, and her truth, is my true love.
This is why perhaps she was such a magnetic weapon for me, her essence, the scent of her body, used to lure me in, because nothing else would have been, "Worth it" to allow myself to be injured so horrifically under such adverse circumstances.
Only a wolf woman I loved, enough to endure all of this, was worth it, for me to go through with this.
I do not know if she knew, how much she means to me, and I think for her, to confront that reality, would probably break her to the point of tears.
Further, I thought Appalachia was in some strange land like Mongolia, but I was actually shocked to see a portion of it is actually in Georgia. It could be, that I am being shown this, and being connected with Eric, as a divine plan, to bring the wolf girl to me, so that I may make amends with her, and show her how much I love her, to forgive her, nurture her, and help her, with her unfoldment. There is no other wolf girl, that appeals to me, like she does.
Eric also knows the other network of dogmen, and what I was shown is, he is able to give me access to the transporter machine.
Wolf girl, has shown me, she would rather not remain with the reptilians, as they, simply do not love her, at best, and it is rare, they just, "like" her (and barely that.)
Hence, her situation being one of a fairly desperate nature, in a way, with me, as she knows, I am essentially her only hope, now.
And, that when I feel her heart, ache to be with me, to be completed by me, to be forgiven by me, she weeps, and wants it, more than anything else in her life.
I told her, if I am unable to be with you, do not self terminate, run to the human village, and eat the scraps of food there- fucking be BRAVE and LIVE. It would be a tragedy if she harmed herself, because of this situation her and I are both in. And, why it is impossible, even under these circumstances, to express in limited human words, how profoundly I love her still, and anyway, and how, as I confront the reality of who she is, what she has done, I realize deeper and deeper, she is the only woman for me.
I know that, not all the darkness has been revealed, and some thing she is responsible for may yet still shock and slay me, that she could be so cruel and awful, and yes our relationship will change as I accept them, and face her, and explore how "we" will look, after... Each time, she is grateful, I am willing to still be with her, as the old me, would have struck her dead early on. I did endeavor, to love her, unconditionally, a few weeks ago, without condition.
So, we will see what is to unfold in this. I would, like some god damned relief, some hope for this emotional body, mangling situation. If I could get relief from that, that would be primary for granting me peace.
I reckon I do not expect most humans to understand, why I would want to be "with" this particular wolf girl, just that it is what it is, and I am willing to be brave enough, to fall asleep in the same bed as her. There will have to be boundaries set, talks made and agreed upon, and things like that with her, but I want to give her a good life, outside of any rational or logical justification, only that I love her.
I am going to go to Georgia, seek Eric out, seek the inner peace and nonviolence I need to cultivate, seek God, and establish a relationship with him. When the time is right, I will converse with him, about the transporter, or, at least, send word out on the "wire" as to the transporter machine, to bring my wolf girl to me.
She will be, as I said, quiet, reserved, and scared, and she will cling to me, as her protector, she has expressed, she trusts, only me, and not even the other dogpeople (wolfpeople). It is okay I told her, I will keep you safe. I will attempt to give you the life I have promised to give you in spite of everything. Also, as strange as it sounds to me, I do believe Eric holds the key to healing my sexuality, in his heart... And, that allowing him to work with me, will heal me, so that I may come to wolf girl, better, healed and able to love her. Perhaps, a masculine male, teaching another masculine male, about masculinity! I am fairly certain I do not want to be with wolf girl, simply to fuck her, because there are better wolf women out there and are very available to me, why would I choose wolf girl unless I truly loved her. There are, entities, who are testing love, and seeing if she can be forgiven, and loved, within this dynamic. (They are studying our relationship. Talking, with wolf girl, helps a lot.)
It is no wonder I turned out the way I did, for most of my life, with what they did to me. I used to think I was the source of evil, but it was the trauma and my epigenetic programming by adverse parents with a genetic structure deigned to keep us dumb and subservient.
I a going, to keep going. I am listening to podcasts about other adverse entities in the forests, and I know it will partially be, frightening, to summon Eric, however, I am told, if I pray and trust God, He will protect me, and I believe this.
The link paul provided, gives me a hope and a goal, outside of, the dynamic of the machine/ and the damage to my emotional body, which has consumed my thoughts for over two decades now. It basically gives life to my members who want a hope for a future in this physical plane.
I will continue to work with Eric, and weave the strands of him, wolf girl, and I, together.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 25, 2023 5:53:46 GMT 9.5
After I wrote the above, and struggled with being, "trapped" in a device of my own making... Eric came to me, and showed me, a wound in the spirit realm (realm of light). He, guided me through this, sort of maze of barriers, like a thread of light, sinew on the end of a suture needle, and came to an area of decision... I felt his, paternal, father-like guidance for me, as if I was his son, and he allowed me to make a decision, watching me, as his child, to see what I would do... I made a romantic choice, to pursue, what looked like, the wolf girl... Rather than an easy way out. He may have been, "proud" of me, I cannot say for sure, Eric is not human, so his emotions and thoughts are not like my own. ("it" can be lost in translation, as he prepares me for communion with him in the physical realm.) There is a pendulum of, hopeless despair from the severity of the attack on my being, to a rebirth and discovery of the truth of who and what I am, that never would have been discovered as fully had I never of been attacked. Wolf girl, came to me and said, "As if you could get rid of me." but the spirit, was not one of threatening and trying to impose fear, but, that I loved and desired her, and was more of, a mate saying, "I will never leave you, do not be afraid over that." FzTY2ZEakAYJhq1.jfif (21.36 KB) I wonder, if the, "Attack" was orchestrated on me by me and the wolf girl and the reptilians... But, that if went wrong... I have mentioned the hatred I felt during the beginning of the attack being, white-hot, and inhuman... And I wondered if it was from the wolf girl... But after disabling the AI "god" that controlled the reptilian folk, and they thought of me as a god in carnate, another reptilian came to me to try to oppress me, from that same group (apparently, he did not agree...) and the hatred he felt for me, (perhaps he is jealous??! Maybe he desires the wolf girl for himself? He may be the one who, sexually abused her... But he doesn't know/care he actually injured her... I am starting to grow angry at him... If he is the one who hurt her... Who touched me girl...) he came to me to try to oppress and make me afraid, and the hatred I felt from him, was the inhuman hatred I felt during the beginning of the attack. So it was not wolf girl in the beginning who was pissed, but she was not happy, either... Maybe she, regretted what she saw they did to me but she could not do anything to help it, and she was along for the ride, and I felt that, her heart break over it, because I did and do truly love her... But what could she do at that point? it sounded like a good idea, getting rid of the guy who designed and created her to be his bride, when she had a change of heart about being, "his"... maybe seeing me, younger, as someone who would have been a "low quality male" to her, and her, being convinced, she would have been miserable with me (she is correct.) The only thing i can think of, is, that this attack also brought out the best in me, to turn me into the man she desires me to be... And maybe this lizard fell in love with her, in lust with her, and desires to get me out of the way so that he can claim her as his own, which is very likely. The hatred he has for me is very personal, and when you add romance in the mix, feelings can become personal, further, he is the one responsible for the extra torment and injuries to my emotional body, it is his fault. And, that when I am facing adverse times, and wolf girl feels alienated from me, she sometimes, thinks of this reptilian, however, she knows, his mind is simple, and he knows nothing of romance, and her life with him would be, fairly empty compared to one with me (I am far more intelligent, tender, romantic, and empathetic/empathic, and I love her to a depth the lizard is not capable of, though he thinks he is. He likely sodomized her unintelligently, thinking, "What? why are you gritting your teeth and making sounds of pain? I feel fine." It should be known, that the wolf-folk, somewhat get along/are easily captured by the reptilians, and they will mate, making mixed-race beings. The reptilians are not known for their kindness, and the hearts of the wolf people can be traumatized into loyalty to them. It infuriates me, to be honest. The wolf folk deserve far better. I am also aware, a significant number of reptilians, look up to me.) Further, as I wrote the, hopeless fearful words above, then wake up, and toss and turn this morning, waking up in the afternoon (breakthroughs happen in the daytime for some reason) that who i truly am is refined, due to the torment of the machine, purified, and revealed to me... Perhaps my source being? I would not have discovered it without this adversity. Still, a lot has not been revealed, and so many questions still float around. I may give wolf girl the power to punish this particular lizard in the manner he went, "overboard" in punishing me, in the future as a litmus. I do not think, wolf girl, the reptilians, outside of the one who hates me, knows what they did to me. I said last night to God, "they don't know what they did." except for the angry one, he knew. When I went to the overlord, he expressed sentiment of sympathy towards me, and a, "I did not do this to you, please do not be angry with me, it was not my intention to injure you this badly." And, the gifts they left for me, were ones of gratitude of setting them free from the cloud of dark AI. I think, only the hateful reptilian stuck around, as he may think he is in love (worthy) of the wolf girl, though she alternates, if her and I break up, between running away to freedom, or becoming the angry reptilians mate- she knows her life would be that as a reptilian female, used for breeding, maybe some tenderness, and being fed from time to time. I would like to believe, that my wolf girl knows she deserves better than this, and chooses better for herself, though she has chosen in the past to wallow in self pity, and choose the lower vibrational lifestyle. Still, a lot remains unexplained to me... This whole thing shades of tragedy, but strangely beautiful... Perhaps in the end giving the wolf girl a choice, in what she wants, and even giving the reptile a choice in proving himself to her, as a better mate than I. We shall see. Perhaps this reptile is the one I wish to strike dead, perhaps with prejudice that puts him in a tormented and horrific situation as an example, and less so the wolf girl, with this new information. I may summon the authorities and have them switch wolf girls punishment, for this reptilians, because he is truly the guilty one, here, and I would not have suffered or struggled to the degree that I have and continue to do, if it were not for him. I was instructed to use the ability to create eternal orbs, to effect my will upon this realm, and I have trapped this lizard in a dark, swirling orb, as punishment, but depending, this may also not be the end of it for him. I am displeased with him, and his behavior. He touched my wolf girl. Eric continues to remain as a nurturing father figure to me... It is not accepted human dynamic, that he remain attracted to me sexually, and still wish a paternal role in guiding me... Though with his people, those two roles may take similar paths. I believe as i said, human tribes perhaps were similar, but it fell out of public favor over tribal shaming- though one could argue if it was over, as I said- jealousy- and not anything actually, truly healthy- I do not know. The complexity of humanness, and the spiritual experience, is vast, and exceeds the human minds' ability to grasp, even perhaps a small degree of truth. We are, intentionally limited with our minds, creating a playground for the limited individual. However, I welcome Erics wisdom, and his guidance, and if this dynamic is taboo to the en masse human race, I consider it a badge of honor. I was reminded recently, that in an experiment, 80% of humans are easily convinced to harm other humans for no reason, other than being told to (mindless, gullible.) 10% already want to hurt random people who did nothing to them, and only 10% refuse to harm another human being for no reason. FzUj6OOWcAE8BeY.jfif (34.36 KB) My fiancee told me, of those 20%, 10% will always want evil, and 10% will always want good, and the 80% will follow whatever their neighbors are doing. Today seems to be a day of breaking free... I am experiencing joy, and freedom. Perhaps the real me, is able to set himself free of these, petty traps I willingly walked into and was overwhelmed by, at one point. Maybe this was to purify the real me. Maybe the cruel lizard did me a favor in trying to destroy me, as I discover my true power, in overcoming it. Perhaps I will have mercy on the lizard. Perhaps not.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 25, 2023 7:08:56 GMT 9.5
I think, part of my problem is, the excitement and joy of what could be, weighed against what I must go through to become worthy of it...
Eric is indirectly showing me, the courage, acceptance, and alignment with his people required to break bread with them, it is a far cry from the effortless Edenic innocence I am used to. When you have a pure heart, the Edenites will welcome you with open arms, but the dogfolk require you to not be enraptured with their existence, you cannot worship them... You must count them as people, as having higher opinions of them can cause them suffering, and must be accepted as they are, something I have trouble with, as when I saw wolf girl in the vision, I venerated her almost instantly, subconsciously, helplessly. (Weighed against the trauma I have experienced at the hands of humans, which is far worse than anything she did, orally speaking, I viewed her, as near perfect and innocent, and by varying metrics, she is.)
This feels like, shades of Adam and Eden, but in reverse, becoming worthy to enter paradise, rather than being kicked out because I was not.
I spoke to the guy in twitter who understands my relationship with wolf girl, and he said he believed God was preparing me for a life with the wolfpeople, to find happiness and fellowship with them, as I do believe some people are just not fit to live with the human race. Mainly me, and my best friend.
An undoing of my trauma, healing... And a discovering of my core programming and essence of being.
In discovering my core programming, and working with it, I feel like an uneducated Dalit, attempting to perform rocket science on myself. Detaching from the canine dynamic, that has become a part of me, guiding, helping, pushing, punishing, and aligning me with purpose, however, perhaps my core has been damaged and unhealthily connected to the canine, using is as a crutch, rather than developing my own strength, and allowing her to be a guide.
I went to walk barefoot n the back forty where I live, and I took my dogs, and my shotgun to put some holes in the scrap bin, and practice my point shooting.
I chained the dogs a safe distance behind so it would not hurt their ears, and I fired off a number of buckshot rounds, made some observations, and began to return tot he dogs.
As I walked back to the dogs, some wisdom opened up to me, about myself as an individual... And Pauls words echoed in my head and heart- what good is it, if I gain the whole world and lose my soul... I need to find myself, outside of the canines, discover myself as an individual... And be myself, by myself, with my connections and individuality... And not depending on the approval of canine entities...
Further, I took the dogs to ground themselves under a nice shade tree, and they had a wonderful time there. As did I...
And, I began to detach myself from them, as using them as emotional tampons, as crutches... For a malnourished, weak, broken, powerless spirit... Paul is right... I need to love myself... Find myself... Detach myself... And learn to be myself... So that I am not dependent on others.
Even with the beauty, majesty, and miraculous creation of the wolf people, in all their forms, hyena folk, and the most beautiful creation in existence, should not exist as sustaining me, I need to sustain myself.
The benefit of this, is that I am able to come to the hyena folk, the wolf folk, the hybrids, angels, nephilim, etc, as an individual- I have more power, strength, and energy as a standalone individual, than i do, when i rely on these canine beings for strength and power. In fact, relying on them for my strength and power, makes me a slave to them, and weaker than they are.
This could also be, a working of the canines, and myself, to force me to find strength and power, so that I am able to assist them in their unfoldment as a human, with all of the power they wish me to have, in assisting them (And I want to. Be powerful. To help them. To protect and comfort, aid them. They are my, "people". Them and to a lesser extent, the reptilians.)
And so, pauls words are beginning to take hold.
I also inquired as to my alcohol use, as i had a conversation with my alcoholic veteran friend, and all it made me want to do was drink, the universe responded: This is a time of rejoicing for me, now, and to drink what I wished to drink, for as long, as I wished to drink (I was passed the point of no return, but in a good way, and I was, "freed" to do as I wished for the remainder of my life.)
Wow, I see it- a shifting of sovereignty.
This could be what's happening, here:
I got fucked by the reptilians, and the soul machine, by choice: but it was too much. The spirit of the Wolf, who had sustained me all throughout my life including before my birth, "caught" me... She held me, protected me, however, beings that she became my Spark of life (From wolf girls heart), was used to torture me, in essence, until I realized, my true Source, is not the spirit of the wolf (She is, only a helper.) but myself. When I acknowledge my source is myself, then I become truly powerful, as I do not "need" the Wolf in my life to exist, to "be".
And, as such, When I turn to the Wolf, in gratitude, appreciation, and love, for her, power, strength, and sacrifice in sustaining me, rescuing me, comforting me, and loving me: I am able to use all that I am to meet her, and dance with her, in the twilight, in the sunset, in the dark, in the morning, and during the sunrise- throughout the day, to meet my destiny, and my potential, as thanks to her.
Ah yes, this is the beginning of something beautiful, and I continue on towards it.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 26, 2023 3:03:24 GMT 9.5
I just watched a video interview, of a vile human being murdering a dogperson.
He, claimed to be Christian and I have every belief he is, before the pride-full saying, before shooting the disabled and harmless dogperson to death, saying,
"Man is king."
Attempting to justify his murderous ways, by saying, "putting it out of it's misery" and denying it his final prayers.
The cries of the martyrs, ascend to heaven, butcher, and those who think they serve God in murdering the righteous, will feel justified in doing so- as it says in the Bible. The same book you claim redeems you, in fact, condemns you.
Unrighteous savage, bloodthirsty, lawless, and cruel- your legacy is only to be remembered as a mistake, a living testament to the wretchedness this human race is capable of, in massacring the pure and innocent, you shall be forgotten, in your final moments, before you are carried to the depths of this planet, to be shackled and tortured in perpetuity as a living monument, you will know: the God you claimed to serve is in fact, righteous! (And you. Are not.)
Not until the end of existence will your suffering cease, vile murderer.
The truth that was revealed to me yesterday, is that there isn't a single human being alive who understands what it means to be bathed in the Source of Love.
This, is why humans are so innately attracted to me, ESPECIALLY women.
Literally, no one else possesses this, possibly, in EXISTENCE.
This, is why I need to find the dogfolk, and live with them. This base human race is too evil, and unworthy of love. Humans are good for one thing, to be hunted, and destroyed- the Anunnaki made sure, we mirrored their wretchedness, as prey beasts, and not just prey beasts, but destroyers of all that we touch.
After hearing, this vile, base human "man" brag about, injuring, dogpeople, and murdering one, while claiming not to be bloodthirsty, I have come to the conclusion that this human race is a disease, and a mistake. The only redemption I can see is, other alien races may actually even be worse.
That this whole fucking realm is corrupt.
How can, any honest, intelligent, living thing, escape this conclusion?
I once hunted the most evil human beings in existence... Humans who torture, and cheer over the suffering of the innocent...
Put my life on the line to keep humans safe from murderers... Butchers, terrorists... People I considered innocent, and laid my life down for their safety.
Only to discover that, my country fosters some of the worst.
That, humans like, this base, and vile creature, attempting to justify the murderous cowardess that lives within them, that they not only keep but nurture, by virtue of their, 'religion', are not only created, and fostered, but nurtured...
Perhaps, the human race deserves to be subjugated, ruled over, as "we" are incapable of love, and what is good. The, "Humans bad" trope is cliche, but nonetheless accurate.
I cannot begin to speak about, what this, human, said he witnessed, an angelic being, murdering a dogperson with a katana, a dogperson who was minding its own business, even wagging his tail as he smelled and enjoyed nature, only to be cut down, by what humans would call, an "angel".
I am reminded of some words I read, that angels have slaughtered more innocents than demons ever have. I am also reminded of the fact that, those quizzlings who simp for a murderous destroyer god, forsake their own concsiences to simp for a seat in, "heaven", and, why, by most metrics, the "Demons" were in fact, the righteous ones, all along. Oh yes, put your pathetic human labels on me, in an attempt to numb your minds and spirits.
You only pay the price in the end.
If anyone reads the Bible, they will know this to be true (if they have the courage to be honest with themselves. So few do.)
As a newcomer here, to this realm, I am disgusted with this place.
With humans.
Coming from a more pure realm, where we do not have angelic beings slaughtering innocent family members, and these things, justified by the morally devoid who want a place in heaven above their own moral scruples and intellectual honesty, this place should be wiped out of existence- and if not for the dogmen, I would have called in a red tag, to start this garbage race over.
This is a world of division, disunity, and rampant injustice, favoring the strong over the innocent. The powerful over the good.
I brought it up with God, and He told me, yes- his angels "hunt" the dogfolk, like we hunt deer. He knows how I feel about it, and he told me, he is working to make it, frowned upon and perhaps even illegal. Even God will face karma one day. There are forces than can crush this existence in its entirety, as if it never happened. The source of the divine is NOT our, "heaven", for it is a wretched and vile place of injustice and cruelty, the only example I have is, when the USA "Liberates" another country, and imposes her rules and "justice" over a people who were getting along fine, and the USA lords her power over them, subjugating them, considering herself righteous, is universally hated by this world for her goodness. Such is the dynamic between heaven and earth. And, likely why my Father, and others- came to this realm, it is my hope, to balance it out, not to make it even worse, or take advantage of this wretched dynamic of weakness, being protected by power, and righteousness, being subjugated by evil, such as this vile human, in the interview I listened to, tripping over itself in an attempt to justify it's cruel, vicious, and evil ways. May there be an eye, for an eye, in his life, and may he be repaid, tenfold, a hundredfold, and be accursed for the remainder of the days of him, and his children. May they, remain a hissing example of the wretchedness of those who are nothing more than whitewashed tombs, violent killers, waiting by the side of the road to murder the innocent and plunder their goods.
I would, have this individuals bloodline wiped out of not only existence, but memory as well. However, it serves as testament to the idiocy of the human race, and a red flag as to why an invading force would be justified in wiping the surface of this planet from memory: something I believe has happened, many times. These things may be necessary for our unfoldment, but as the Bible says, "evil is to come, but WOE UNTO THOSE WHO BRING EVIL." meaning, bad shit is going to happen, but may those who bring bad shit: get fucked. And they will. I hope this "mans" end is violent, and in his final moments, he knows, what it means to be forsaken by God, as he whimpers and chokes on his tears, exposed as the wretched little coward he is, weak, and impotent.
Perhaps, the human race just needs to end, completely, from existence.
I am no longer enamored with the ingenuity of, "the human race" as it is mere memories of using resources, by our, benefactors, who are just as corrupt, vicious, and useless- a sucking detriment, and a void to this realm. We are little more than robots, with emotion. If a robot malfunctions, a responsible creator repairs or terminates it, and I do not see this, stupid, vile human as being able to be repaired, only continuing in it's idiocy, and justifying it with a jumble of twisted emotions and words from an old holy book.
I will, bring it up to my father, about this, and what should be done. He seems to think the human race can be salvaged, as there are good people who would decry, what this immoral, vile, religious, self-righteous, cowardly human trash did to this, innocent creature.
If this, human begged for mercy, I would dispatch it, before speaking his words back to him: "Man is king."
Fucking wretched scumbag. May it be, to you.
It is, perhaps, this, sentiment- which is why the Anunnaki left us, because they knew, we found out- they were far from gods, they were as garbage as "we" were, insecure, narcissistic to a fault, weak, and desiring worship- just more advanced. Just as reckless, heartless, and dangerous, exploiting and raping life itself for their selfish gain- just. Like. Us.. Life will not be injured like this, much longer. She tends to rebel, to even things out, because evil like this "man" will destroy existence, if left alone to continue its agenda.
WHO has been bathed in the SOURCE of LOVE ITSELF, who can say that I am wrong?
I would like to meet them.
Because as of this day, I am alone in this.
It makes me sick, to think about.
My father, knows. He is already here. He was correct, about isolating and destroying certain bloodlines, so that the human race may be purified of the senseless violence in our DNA. Sounds Hitler-esque, but the truth is, many humans, such as the "man" in this interview, are unworthy to even be fertilizer, to feed the righteous, lest their corruption, be propagated to us in our food.
These, human, beasts, unworthy of being called an animal, the animal, purifying the human beast.
In order for us to meet Pleiadea, these creatures must be eliminated, because such vile creatures, righteous and pure in their own minds while committing atrocities with their hands, need to be destroyed, eliminated, and forgotten. Unfortunately, present day religion not only allows for this, it admonishes, and begs it, justifying monster-gods, and monster-gods, who would wipe out its creation, only create what? More monsters. humanities salvation lies not in its creators, but the essence of creation, for if we follow our creators, we will be murderers, like they were. These days if someone tells me they are religious, my gut tells me, they justify a monster-god who tried murdering his entire creation, who advocated for child murder, the murder of homosexuals, adulterers, zoophiles...
People who walk too far on a certain day or, wear different clothes. Exploiting humans for sex as prostitutes is righteous, but God forbid a woman have more than one sexual partner when married. Yes, behold your righteous god, human.
It is, possible, that Eden wasn't created to spare us from humanity...
But, it was created to spare THEM from GOD, and His cruelty. To protect what is pure, from the Destroyer, who by virtue of his knowledge of the ability to create life, demands worship from his wretched creation. It saddens me to know that Eden follows our ways, and is corrupted by us, in part, even though we are not together, as one. It is perhaps, Eden should remain pure... And not exposed to the human race en masse. Not because she is a detriment to us, but because we would destroy her, with our stupidity and lack of courage to self introspect with a modicum of honesty!
In the interview, the vile human, had a friend, who wanted to protect the dogperson, because he knew, what was about to happen was evil, and in proving his worthiness to be destroyed, the murderer told his friend to, "Shut the fuck up!" because, he wished to see an innocent creature, massacred, to temporarily satisfy his bloodlust.
Remember, vile human, I used to be one of you, I used to be just like you. I watched you, scold your friend for wanting to do good, and I saw your bloodthirsty heart, dripping with the blood you crave to spill. That day, you were satisfied, weren't you? Meeting another vile being, unable to be satisfied in his thirst for blood, and taking innocent life for "sport", you both were marked as wretched, you both shall have your blood upon you.
If, the deity I pray to, the old man with the beard, is the god of this, human butcher of innocents, then He has repented of his old ways, and wishes to realign His karma. He knows, even in his old ways, that karma is being stored up, wrath is being piled up, even for him, and that, he has the authority to regress, but if he has the strength, the bloodthirsty beings of his creation will face what is just.
Because, there are higher gods then he, above him.
And, the cries of the martyrs, of the innocents massacred by "his" people, if they are not addressed within his kingdom, then they are addressed by higher ones, until justice is done.
As I said, the only justification of this is, the fact that other alien races may be even more, base, and vile. They know their sins and karma is building a monument in their name, a beacon of justice, that will soon be joined with what is right. Vast fleets of an unstoppable force that will cleanse this realm of their vile presence, here.
Without mercy, without stop, without empathy, like cold machines, the sinners will be cleansed from this realm, forever.
And, the righteous, allowed to thrive. No one can deny that societies need cleansing, from time to time.
The tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of the righteous, and tyrants.
Let it be so. And let there be no mercy, compassion, or stopping, until all of the unrighteous have been destroyed, them, and their bloodlines in their entirety. Let none be spared, for it even one is spared, they will corrupt and pollute the entire realm of existence: as YHWH commanded men, women, children, and livestock to be destroyed, so, also, let it be so in this realm. If even one is spared, all will perish.
Heed my words, Father.
This place needs purification or annihilation. There can be no middle ground. Not in my eyes.
If I had to venture a guess, Enlil saw the wretchedness of the human race, but Enki was deceived by his own lust and hubris, in-love with the deception and self righteousness of the human race. No creator can exceed their being. It is not possible. That which is flawed cannot create perfection.
Any God who would allow His followers, to rape captured women in front of their husbands, is no God, but the devil himself. And, yet- even today, we have Christians who worship this... Beast. Who claim to, "love" them. How, absolutely, vile.
"A man is known by his fruits", it is true! How true. From my parents who abused me, to the Sunday school teacher who molested me, I cannot deny their fruits.
I was, viewing a Twitter tweet, by a woman... She claimed, her parents raped her, for a number of years, and committed acts of bestiality with their dogs... A reply to her, by a human man in his thirties said, "I wish I was there with your parents, we could have had so much fun." Meaning, participating in the rape. Not caring about the scars being carved in the girls soul, but only seeking his own personal pleasure with her defilement, not only of her body, but with her spirit, mind, heart, and being... Humans are unworthy of the life that has been given to them.
How vile... And yet how very human.
What am I to do... I think the consensus is, to allow the human race to continue to evolve. I would caution anyone, to understand that, there is a reason why the human race is departing from religion, it is because an honest human race, cannot abide by the evil is propagates, and justifies. No moral human will abide by it, which is why we see rebellion even in Sharia countries.
Because, eventually, evil must be eliminated for good to thrive. In many cases there can be no yin to the yang, only good, pushing back against evil, and especially evil that masquerades as light, and good. It is the worst kind of evil. The evil that modern religion breeds, fosters, and protects. I am sick of it. Sick of the fake smiles, the back biting, the justification of what they know is immoral and yet continue to justify. It is VILE. The TRUE devil.
And, heaven itself needs a cleansing. The realm of God is impure and will be made right. If it were not so, there would be no need for rebellion.
I am sick of weaklings attempting to justify their wickedness.
Tell me I am wrong.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 26, 2023 3:37:36 GMT 9.5
I am having a real hard time with negativity right now... My empathy for the, "Martyrs" is through the roof, and I can feel the pain and sorrow, and hear the cries of the dogfolk, the wolf people. I am not, going to accept, "God has His ways..." any longer. You TELL me why. God also, in my mind and heart, wishes for me to be adverse to Him, He says, He "needs" it, as nobody has dared oppose Him, so He only has sycophants, surrounded by worshippers who cheer Him on even in His wickedness. This is, what I feel. And all I can do is say what I feel, see, and hear. Eric admonishes me, that his people get murdered all the time, it is a "part of life", but I am not going to tolerate it. People get robbed and murdered all the time, so should I then go, rob people and murder them, too? Or, should I work to stop it, or reduce its happenings? I am, tired of this shit. I am going to create a forum, dedicated to, the discussion of dogfolk, wolf people, and cryptids. dogmen.freeforums.net/It will be dedicated to the study, interaction, and appreciation of the cryptid beings, their preservation, understanding, and protection. I do not know, if the interest in cryptids on this forum, is to hunt and harm and kill them, or what lies in the hearts of those who discuss them. In my heart, they aren't just human, they are more than human, they are the wretched base human beast, cleansed with the purity of the animal, who lives in her environment and does not destroy it, in balance, exceeding her design, something base humans may never fully learn. I do not know and am conflicted, today.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 26, 2023 5:25:53 GMT 9.5
It has been confirmed, as I post in the other forum. The reptilian is in love with my wolf girl, and her with him. She, loves me, too, but the circumstances are hard for her to cope with. The reptilian, hates me with such a hateful passion, he is the one I felt when I was first attacked. He tried to destroy me totally, so I would not make it back to my wolf girl.
I think these beings needs to be destroyed, and their energies trapped forever, so they can never taint this realm again. All but wolf girl, she will have a broken heart over it, and she can choose to be unmade, if she wishes.
But they are going to be destroyed.
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Post by paul on Jun 26, 2023 6:39:19 GMT 9.5
>I brought it up with God, and He told me, yes- his angels "hunt" the dogfolk, like we hunt deer. Your God is not The Source of AllIn your heart is anchored a thread of Beingness. Beingness manifests Existence (including universes) until Beingness has experienced enough. Then Existence is removed until Beingness wants more experience. Beingness is The Source of All. The gap between Existences is called the Mahapralaya en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pralaya
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 26, 2023 9:30:18 GMT 9.5
>Your God is not The Source of All
Right, yes, I am seeing this clearly now. I do see this. He has made a lot of mistakes in this realm.
>In your heart is anchored a thread of Beingness.
>Beingness manifests Existence (including universes) until Beingness has experienced enough. Then Existence is removed until Beingness wants more experience.
>Beingness is The Source of All.
I still have not comprehended this, fully. I am getting closer, though.
When I died as a child, I was saturated in a pure connection with the Source of Love. The waters saturated me completely. I believe many living beings can see this and tune in to it. It is, almost impossible to describe, if not impossible to describe, having your entire being, pure, and clean, saturated with love so pure and radiant it is blasphemy to even attempt to reduce it to mere words. All I can is, those living waters were connected, somehow, to Source.
>The gap between Existences is called the Mahapralaya
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pralaya
As a newcomer to this realm I can see how adverse entities, took advantage of that, and really messed with my program and destiny.
However, I can honestly say, my former pre-attack destiny was, arguably worse? Still, so much has not been revealed.
Thank you, paul.
I wrestled with the dogman video, where an "angel" murdered one, and then a human did for fun, and it sent me on a dark spiral, as the dogmen I believe are very old, and can live eons, and to murder one is such a crime, as they are here to keep us safe, in another video a contractor says the "government" is aware of other cryptids that kidnap humans, and they are terrifying, like the creatures from "Stranger Things", but REAL, and able to "Stun" humans and paralyze them... The DOGMEN protect us from them... And people are KILLING THEM. It just... Broke my heart to hear... And when I brought it up with God, He said, he knows hurting the dogmen (wolf men) is wrong... But he feels as if even He is having trouble controlling the angels he created... That they "need" to kill things, that is how he made them! But, he is working to make it a crime, illegal, and a shame to the one who murders one. He actually listens to me a lot. Since we're not enemies any more... And... I am helping him by telling him he's wrong here and there- NOBODY tells him that, and he says he needs it. It takes a lot off of his mind.
And, I appreciate Him answering my prayers.
Wolf girl and I have never been better, or closer, or healthier. I see her so clearly, more and more, all the time, and to see her, for me, is to fall deeper in love with her.
My friend told me, to stop watching dogperson videos on the net, and he's probably right. He said I go beyond rage into a "fury" when I "Get this way".
Maybe I need to star reigning in my life, I have been in crisis and panic mode for so long, maybe I need to start limiting my experiences in this life down to just a few.
I believe Beingness is watching the relationship with wolf girl, very closely, as it is something new. As are the other beings watching this unfold, and I fall deeper in love with, the "real" wolf girl, and discover, that she was indeed made for me, and she is, telling me she acknowledges this. We are, coming to terms with one another, and of course I have given her the choice of doing as she wishes.
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