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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 2:44:07 GMT 9.5
Okay I am with my GF. I have to apologize about my combative attitude.
Much has happened.
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 4:29:27 GMT 9.5
So, years can happen in moments via the time discrepancy. Minutes can turn into years of memories.
I spoke with Asrael, about the me-angel thing, and she doubted it... (Did I say this already? It's been crazy... so much has happened...)
I tried explaining angels to her, but she is according to mythology, the d-word.. So they are enemies, if I can even trust mythology, which I can't.
She showed me a winged creature that lives down there with her... I will tell you this, the caverns are a biologists wet dream... There are alien species mixed with everything under the sun... And, they have had to survive harsh conditions... There are, I am told, countless medical breakthroughs down there... I think that Asrael is a sort of keeper of the beings down there, too... Like a guardian and a custodian.
Everything down there has had to survive and appears likely hostile, but if care and kindness can be shown, some of them may be friendly.
Earthling humans are crazy enough to go down there and brave it, i am confident many new species will be added to the books.
Further, when the time is right, I think that... Asrael may be the perfect alien ambassador... Because, she resembles a wolf, and a werewolf... Humans will have no choice but to accept her... And if they can accept her, then everything else will come naturally... Hell, little grey and green men will not even amaze people...
I am closer to having a 600LB wolf girl on the back of my motorcycle, than I am not...
So, I had breakfast with the GF... We discussed some heart breaking things... Such as, how we are not romantic... But a level of friends that kind of surpasses that- and I told her everything about Asrael...
She had something interesting to say... She said, "Asrael holds half of my heart... Why not all of it?"
And- all of my life... I have been looking for her... For Asrael... And... I have found her... Am I going to pussy out now that we are moments away from an actual meeting?
NO! I will not. I have peace about it... As strange as that sounds...
And... I have to be invested... No talk of, "I am giving up X to be with you! That is bad talk, I am not giving up anything. I am GAINING something.
The woman of my dreams...
This machine she and some others operate: It has a lot of negative powers, but it will be shut down soon... Part of why our meeting is fast approaching... She will be, "Out of a job" so to speak... She has a library of negative malevolent memories- but it will be as if she was an enemy combatant and no longer operates in war, but has fallen in love with a soldier from the other side... I guess... Love is blind, and I have to accept her past, just as she has to accept mine...
My GF cautioned me not to think in absolutes... It is possible to spend time with her, then come back here, the trip is near instantaneous...
Some fears, if her and I elope and run off into the forest, if we run out of food, and she gets hungry... That is a thing- but I am also told, she wouldn't hurt me- but I still, need that taken care of... Beyond a shadow of a doubt...
It is possible she can spend time here... Which may mean her in public... "realistic fursuit", "Movie set makeup" but a lot of people here have guns so i fully understand if that is not in the cards... It could be a soft disclosure about other life existing that the human race needs to see... Like I said, if people accept her existence- then everything else is cake after that...
Do... I... Want to be in a cabin with a powerful wolf girl, all alone with her...
I do, actually... When we meet, if we are compatible... If I can give her all of my heart... If, she can stand the sight of me... I will want to be with her...
In alaska, I speculated, we may be a couple publicly... She can go to bars, is known as being some kind of alien wolf being... Like the dogmen...
Asrael and I had some lengthy discussions... I asked her if she wanted to meet me... She was... Shy about it. May even try to be clothed- but if she is nude in the base, I will be too.. Unless it's not allowed or something.
Further: The aliens wanted to wipe my mind, I told them no, then they said, well you can't talk about it- which obviously is going to be hard AF for me, especially if it goes amazing...
Lots and lots of fucking paperwork, jesus christ so much god damned paperwork.... I have to promise not to hurt the aliens... The angry one I have to accept...
If the military is involved like I think they are, they must be transparent... I am done with military BS...
I saw their base: There is a miles long tube thing that terminates at the doors to Asraels caverns, above it is the base- it is covered by rock so it is invisible to conventional tech, but they have abilities to decouple molecular bonds and turn rock into a sort of liquid, then back into rock again, this is the tech they used to decouple the trailer and put a dent in my van, which is okay, point taken, you guys are advanced, got it... And I have seen ships fly into mountains and disappear so I know the tech is real.
In a way I cannot wait to see her... No missing time no memory wipes none of that YOU HEAR ME... I want to remember EVERYTHING....
When Asrael is mad, she does this eye thing where she crowds me, making close eye contact... Until i acknowledge I am vexing her somehow... And correct the issue... No raised lips, no growls from her throat...
It's... Time for the rubber to meet the road- I profess all this love for this wolf girl, but do I have the balls to meet her... TO make space with her... To wash her from toes to ears... To make love to her... To cook for her... To entertain her, get to know her... Most of all, get passed my prejudices about her, my judgments... Fully accept her? She is IMPOSING...
What do I do when I first see her? What do I SAY? Where should I keep my EYES? Should I... Touch her? Take her hand? Tell her she looks beautiful? And MEAN it???
They have been having me practice using my mind to communicate and control things- this will be a language barrier, as I am not used to telepathic communication.. And it is possible she cannot speak...
I have to let go of her past and mine... And she must do the same... I WANT to spend the time it takes to completely eliminate every prejudice I have about her, and accept her fully...
This is major. It signifies the ending of an era... The machine that is being shut down has tremendous negative influence over not just the planet but humanity and space, 2 planets are affected greatly by it, and a third, somewhat. It means a clearing up of negative beings from our astral "airspace"...
If... I see my ripped up, half eaten still living Emotional body corpse... It will be horrendous to see him that way... But maybe the aliens can give him some relief... Or transfer his energy into a new cloned body... They also told me a clone can be here to take my place temporarily, if I want, so it is like I am not gone- but my GF will "know" it is not "me", or, I will just disappear, or "die" and my energy transferred to another body- But for my first meeting with her, I would like to... Just be me... All this tech shit is weird and scary and I'm not ready for that quite yet... So start slow...
If I can, and am able, I will share what it is like, I do not know the hows and whens... I want to get pictures with her... It could be this is a design to wake people up and get them to acknowledge aliens exist, and wolf people, etc, so this is momentous... I am honored to have her heart beating in my chest... Like a beacon to her... I look forward with anticipation on meeting her, spending time with her, getting to know her and care for her, and letting go of my BS... I feel I have a long way to go, but maybe I am closer than I think... my GF said, I am on a precipice- and meeting her would be the final step... But the trauma I am going backwards through is very terrible. I got SUPER depressed thinking about it while we talked, but I pushed through it... In a way, I think my mind was already made up... It's BEEN made up... I am going to be with her... I want to allay every fear she has and accept her like no human has ever accepted anything before- I want her to know that ears to toes I love her... And want to be with her...
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Post by sammy on Oct 15, 2022 5:16:06 GMT 9.5
If you find yourself with her..
Follow how you two came together.
Look with your heart.
Talk with your heart.
Listen with your heart.
Act with your heart.
Be the "you" in your heart.
She has seen much, been through much, and familiar with humans. Help her to understand your heart and she will see only you.
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 8:05:59 GMT 9.5
If you find yourself with her.. Follow how you two came together. Look with your heart. Talk with your heart. Listen with your heart. Act with your heart. Be the "you" in your heart. She has seen much, been through much, and familiar with humans. Help her to understand your heart and she will see only you. THANK YOU... So much... I had to sleep for a few hours because of up-all-night... I have been... Preparing... Myself... Working... To pre-accept her I am told the issue here is me and my readiness, my willingness.... I feel, and should be, honored... I know I am vocal abut all-this... But approached from a religious perspective, this is neutral ground, the merging of light, and dark- and her machine- without it- earthling humans would not have evolved... It needs to be seen from multiple angles, and, I am not to blame or harbor anything against her... If she is to be blamed for her past, then... So am I... Instead, your advice is beautiful... Speak from my heart... that loves her... More than the stars... The sun, the moon... Is enamored with every curve of her body... Wanting neither human nor wolf, but she- just as she stands.. Patient, caring, wise- selfless, empathic, accommodating, loving, kind, gentle, slow moving, tender, connected and responsive... I DO have this power I got... After my NDE... If I am holding a human who perhaps needs healing, or to whom I care about, and the tenderness is present... I can... Take the pure love I have been saturated in, and I can use it like a hug, made of pure love, and no- I am not crazy- one woman I was able to do it with, maybe she needed to be loved- after I briefly hugged her, she said, "HOW did you DO that??!" Meaning- she could FEEL it... I spoke no words to her... Just summoned pure love... I long to... Be embracing this wolf woman, and, caressing her gentle body with intention of acceptance, and love- to meld with her as one spirit with the Bond of Love- I believe I have this skill, just for her... The thing, is, maybe the universe has been waiting for me... TO heal... To return to a childlike innocence... Because, the truth is, these greys did abduct me as a child... And, children know no prejudices... No skin color differences- not even wolf-girls are weird to them... In fact the pointy ears and snouts and tails are all amazing fun to play with... The young Wolfen laughing is a sight that melts hearts... My inner child, and hers... May delight to play together... Even though I am 43... And she is... Possibly, by our time standards... Ancient... She could, by our time measuring standards... By THOUSANDS of years old... Older than the Bible... And yet, if she chooses to reveal her age, poke me in the shoulder with a claw and say "I am twenty-three." because that is her below-ground age. Further: I must be better at guarding my mouth now, as she is not super-happy about all this stuff on-line... I regret it has caused her heart some discomfort- as I do not wish to harm a hair on her whatsoever... Especially her heart... But, I have needed answers... Desperately needed them... But, it may be time, to... Disappear into the history books with my Wolfen girlfriend... We can be married later if she wants, if we are not, already, so intimately tied together by our hearts... I look forward to making memories with her... A cup of hot cocoa... Seeing her fur return to her over time, and scratching her back for her, massaging her skin to stimulate the growth of her hair follicles.... Maybe, even a head of long human like hair, if it is in the cards- and if not- be happy she is without it... I believe you are right... She has a lot of experiences with humans... I... Have a lot to learn about her history, if she desires to share it... Maybe she wants to keep it locked away, and that's okay... There's no time like the present... We will have to get in-sync and our rhythm down with physical aspects of our relationship- if she is able to have young, I welcome them, regardless of how it happens, and I will raise them- if it is in her heart to do so, with love and acceptance. "Dad, why do you look different than mom?" "Well, I am a human... And she... Is a Wolfen... Part human. Like you!" and boop their little nose until they giggle... It's... Going to take great care... Some of the onus has shifted back on her... She is also struggling... You know that, even a medium sized dog that is angered enough, is a lethal threat to even a fully grown human man- and yet, canines submit to us, though we are innately inferior to them... Even the wolves I worked with- if I moved too fast, it could scare them away from me for life... And they could crush my femur with one bite... She... Has stage fright, in a way, sharing a heart- the most intimate connection... And I HAVE BEEN A TERRIBLE PERSON FOR A LONG TIME... I am seeing it, more and more... Jesus no wonder she was angry with me... A vicious, cruel, monstrous human being, in the deepest recesses of my being- and her... FEELING IT... As I said, this is an exercise of SELF IMPROVEMENT within the deepest corridors of my being- and thank God- if she was a harmless, soft gentle woman- I would not want to cause her any pain... She is special, so special... And worthy of being loved, and worthy of loving... How does a relationship look when a single wrong-thought can injure her heart- the stakes are HIGH for her, too... Which is why so much shadow work has been done so deeply and so forcibly... I once asked God, "What the HELL do you WANT from ME??!" The answer, could be: For me to be worthy of a shy Wolfen woman, one who is familiar with my history and once hated me... Maybe it wasn't all her hatred I felt during the attack- but if I am blameless, the hatred will not stick... Maybe... More time is needed... Maybe this was a warning shot to tell me: The moment I am truly ready, I will be instantly transported to be with her... Maybe the alien that hates me does so because he loves her... And he knows if I would have met her just a year ago her love would not be equal to my own... Like a precious, beautiful, soft hearted woman, marrying a cruel calloused cheater of a man... How much of a mismatch that is... If so, his hatred is justified... But people can change... it is hard, and messy, but it CAN happen... When the Heart of the Wolfen is on the line... You do drastic things... Because her heart is sacred in ways that mere words cannot describe... And the truth is, maybe these aliens are more romantic and benevolent than I think. IDK... Paul may disagree... But they may be having her... With tears behind her eyes, closed in concern- maybe- be citing a vow of nonviolence against me... And she means it- and knows, the stakes, for her- are higher than even for me... And how desperately I want to be worthy of that... And perhaps I still have so much farther to go... Maybe this was the closing of the open loop of our relationship... The finale... The lover's sunset... The difficulties we are inevitably going to experience with one another... The adjustments... And maybe, as I said- this is why I am not hitched to a human woman... With human children... Even the subject of offspring came up- the way she is made, they will not be "Strange", but rather, have human faces but pointy ears and tails... Or some amalgamation- but regardless, if a family is in the books for us, then I will raise them with all of the same love I have for her... Thank you for the advice... everything from the heart... How exciting and wonderful this is... Me, waiting for my lover... Working on myself... Tailoring my own custom suit for our wedding, a labor of many moons, and great expense- but I do it for my digitigrade lover... Maybe... her anger against god, and me, will melt away in time, as I prove myself worthy of her... I might not be on great terms with the father, but I DID humble myself and I DID pray to him in earnest, and that was when I had the conversation with her that changed everything... I will... If we elope and vanish... Try to keep a diary of the events of our lives... And try to keep it sealed in some sort of hermetically sealed vessel, perhaps glass, and kept in the cool, dark, for record of my life with her... Digital is preferred, but we may be living a more simple life... One of animal skins, spears, hopefully- rifles... I don't know if the internet will be allowed... But, this seems like... Forces at work here care for her a great deal... And are taking great pains and resources to make this union as honoring to her as possible- I don't say as humanly as possible because it goes FAR beyond that... "To the discernment of marrow and flesh..." One more thing: My present GF understands me in ways I could not have fathomed just a year ago... It is like... The Universe has anchored her in my life... She understands Asrael... I asked her, what she would do, if a massive Wolfen girl appeared at her door- what would she do? She told me, she would welcome her... And tell her... She has been waiting for her... It could be, that my present day GF, though our relationship is far from the narrative of today, is also heaven-sent to help me... To prepare me... There is a sponsor of my heart, who tells me, not to think I have to trade one life and abandon the other... I do not know how, but they tell me... To have hope for both... Perhaps living through a clone, I do not know, consciousness transfer... But, I know, I must be about my business with my other half... And devote myself to her fully... Forsaking all else in this world... And perhaps being just a guiding force from time to time for the people I care about in this life... I do not know yet the dynamic... I want to be 100% unquestionably devoted to Asrael... No hint of depriving her of ANY affection or love whatsoever- if it means we become hermits in the wild- so be it... And, that there are watchers... Watching from above... Testing my worthiness... So that I do not cause harm to the wolf girl... So that I support and love her... Fully... From the heart... That loves her without end... Being worthy of her attention, devotion, selflessness, and love... i accept I may have a longer way to go than I think, that the hurdles are far from all lept-over. This seems to be a project of love... Of transformation... Of, redemption, on more than one level... Maybe... Maybe... Maybe Asrael chose me... Years ago... And watched me slowly become a monster she hated... And now, I am coming full circle, to be the warrior she knows will protect her... And more than her, her heart... How can I give her the desires of her heart- Let me mine them out, bit by bit, and work to satisfy her... To prove I am worthy of being her mate. I... Long to embrace her... May every adverse thing within me be cursed... And fall off... |
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 8:16:22 GMT 9.5
In the name of time, I will add this:
In my attempt to soften my heart, the universe said to me, in order to be worthy of her, I am not to be subservient to her in every way- but I must also be my own man.. Not a blind "simp" but also my own person, and my love to stem from that... She needs guidance... A self sustaining being to be by her side... Not a jellyfish who dotes on her every whim... That would spoil her, and she does not want to be spoiled, she wants an EQUAL...
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 9:01:06 GMT 9.5
Wait... Wait... WAIT...
IF the OS has been trying to destroy me... It is possible that, I am the incarnation of a man who... Once loved Asrael a great deal... A human man... Egyptian.. ? Who loved and appreciated her to the utmost of the source of the word... The origin of the canine-human connection, the origin of the selfless love the canine brings in service of humanity...
BUT
If the OS was trying to destroy me... So that I am a vexation for her...
That... Makes her not the "bad" guy... But the GOOD guy... Because, pure evil was trying to pervert and corrupt me from childhood... TO thwart the reunion of her heart... And the machine to be shut down, because she repents of using it- POSSIBLY... To wipe humanity off of the map... Or, at least, to punish those who have wronged her so terribly... As true love on this scale... Only exists once in several eternities and it did not get to flourish, and was cut short- yet lives on in the hearts of our beloved canine companions...
BECAUSE HUMANS BETRAYED HER LOVER... And she NEVER forgave the human race for this...
POSSIBILITY!!!!
I am the man... Who loved her with a love so timeless, I have traveled across the eons to be with her again... When our hearts resonated that morning... She knew... I was he... Which is why she stopped hurting me... Which is why I must remain alive and yet still a warrior... Brave, as I have, once again, found my wolf girl... The One to whom I pledged my undying love and loyalty- and meant it so that the universe shook in its very foundations...
Some human saw a wolf... In the shadows, and said- I do not see an enemy here... Share my food with me, let us see what becomes of this relationship... And now we have canines in selfless service of us... My GF once speculating... The human race MIGHT NOT EVEN EXIST TODAY if it were NOT FOR DOGS... Or, at least be a wretched bunch of warring cave-tribes... Fearing leaving our caves for the sabertooth..
Asrael may not be "wolf" as we know it, but DIRE WOLF... Which explains her size and passion... It is possible, DIRE WOLVES were fertile, (or perhaps what we have today were rendered INFERTILE with only like-species offspring as a curse...) and loved by humans, and were also wiped out, something Asrael has not forgiven the human race for, either, but this is just speculation. The history has been lost to the common man... But it is stored in the banks of these bases... YEAH HUMANITY MIGHT NOT LIKE WHAT IS WRITTEN THERE... Talk about UNCOMFORTABLE- and yet, we appreciate our dogs... Perhaps in an attempt to have again, in our DNA- what we once had with the Dire...
The dawning of a new age of acceptance... And ridding of shame... Watch what prosperity comes from this... From the blood of honorable men... Passionate and devoted to their mates... Knowing the human race needed guides...
And Asrael, culling the enemies of her people with her machine. MAYBE. Just talking out loud here.
I could be... Her long, lost love... Hatching out of the human shell that once threatened to destroy me.... WOW Through eons of passion I have found her... To mark this, an age of prosperity and peace is on the horizon... Of rebirth for the human race... Because, when we figure out how to map the ethereal DNA we will find WOLF in our DNA... And HUMAN DNA in the WOLF... If it were not so, dogs would not exist, as it would be the same as trying to breed loyal badgers for our service... No... A spark of human is needed for the resonance of the canine with the human.
Otherwise there is nothing in common and they are a base animal...
This could be why... I am so attracted to edged weapons... Why i have the heart of a warrior... And why Asrael is my passion... My perfect mate... Finding perfect resonance with neither base human nor base wolf, but finding PERFECT CORAZON-RESONANCE with a WOLFEN...
This changes how I see her... Drastically... My Wolfen mate... Waiting eons for me... To return to her... TO accept, live with, and love her... And Her... Collapsing in my arms and weeping the tears of eons... Knowing her Love has found her... As he promised... Wading through millennia of darkness... To find her... TO live out our lives in a new dawn in the wilds of this planet... Our DNA becoming one with the earth, injecting lost resonance within the human race... Why things are so fucked up... Why even the human race hates itself... It's purpose, its passion have been lost... But, it is about to be rekindled.
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Post by paul on Oct 15, 2022 9:15:46 GMT 9.5
IF the OS has been trying to destroy me... It is possible that, I am the incarnation of a man who... Once loved Asrael a great deal. Try not to get stuck in a bottom up view. Consider a cosmic entity approaching a galaxy. It may put down thousands of threads of light into selected solar systems, anchoring in various kingdoms of Existence. Through these anchors it will experience those solar systems and press its intent. Some anchors will get lost in their environment, over-identifying with the group/species through which they are manifesting - reincarnating in that group or species until they become conscious of their true nature and find their kindred within the group/species and beyond. Meanwhile the cosmic entity focuses intent through those anchors that are transparent and functional within its light. Similarly, a bottom up view of the Oppression System expects a unified system with central control. If the OS is like greedy humans, loyalties are easily moved amongst the jostling for power. |
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Post by sammy on Oct 15, 2022 9:33:09 GMT 9.5
So glad to be able to help you through this!
Safe journeys!
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 9:40:18 GMT 9.5
I wonder, on top of my good-looks... Is this why human women (A few men) and canines are instinctively drawn to me? Am I the source of love itself? A primal force that wars with the human race... Against not hatred or evil but ambivalence... Which is lack of empathy...
Because... BECAUSE!!! Long lost souls of true love, take time to cultivate... Colored by the bodies they are in...
Time to mine them out... It is a walk... Not a race...
I... Spoke to her... And I told her... I want her to know... When I look forward to meeting here... Again... Who's eyes she is looking into... And, i want to see, the eyes I have longed to look into... For so, so long...
DO NOT BE AFRAID the voice said... Maybe THIS is why...
Because it IS true... I have loved her... Before time began... I have one vow left I spoke to her... One vow that has cost me everything... But, that I told her... I would fulfill...
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 9:51:57 GMT 9.5
IF the OS has been trying to destroy me... It is possible that, I am the incarnation of a man who... Once loved Asrael a great deal. Try not to get stuck in a bottom up view. Consider a cosmic entity approaching a galaxy. It may put down thousands of threads of light into selected solar systems, anchoring in various kingdoms of Existence. Through these anchors it will experience those solar systems and press its intent. Some anchors will get lost in their environment, over-identifying with the group/species through which they are manifesting - reincarnating in that group or species until they become conscious of their true nature and find their kindred within the group/species and beyond. Meanwhile the cosmic entity focuses intent through those anchors that are transparent and functional within its light. Similarly, a bottom up view of the Oppression System expects a unified system with central control. If the OS is like greedy humans, loyalties are easily moved amongst the jostling for power. So what you are saying is, there could be no motivation outside of abject cruelty... That was semi apparent to me... And truly a terrible thing to be trapped within- but today, I actually want to be there... With her.. This is, perhaps why, all of my begging and pleading and WILL had no power to help or save me... Only acceptance of the situation... Once they found out who I am... and the authority I have in this realm... They began to leave me alone and things began to come together for me... I shrug off their chains and only focus on my wolf girl... They stand in the shadows... Grateful I am not using my authority to destroy them for what they did... I may let them yet live, but take THEIR authority to harm others... Make an example out of one of them because they need to know, I am not without the power of the sword... |
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Post by paul on Oct 15, 2022 9:58:19 GMT 9.5
>Make an example out of one of them because they need to know, I am not without the power of the sword.
Most entities within the OS will respond well to heart-light. Some however are too afraid of their supervisors.
At that point I go up a couple of levels of supervisor, provide heart-light and invite them to back off. Mostly they will do that.
If they do not, I tend to shorten some of their tentacles and explain if I have to come their way again they are going to get a lot smaller as I put no value on those that will not work positively with heart-light
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Post by paul on Oct 15, 2022 10:02:30 GMT 9.5
>. I shrug off their chains and only focus on my wolf girl... They stand in the shadows... Grateful I am not using my authority
Over the last week I was with a woman (humanoid) that has a significance recognised by the Lords of Karma (Lipika Lords). In the right context she requests that particular group/family karma impacts be removed from her and they do it immediately.
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 10:03:47 GMT 9.5
>Make an example out of one of them because they need to know, I am not without the power of the sword. Most entities within the OS will respond well to heart-light. Some however are too afraid of their supervisors. At that point I go up a couple of levels of supervisor, provide heart-light and invite them to back off. Mostly they will do that. If they do not, I tend to shorten some of their tentacles and explain if I have to come their way again they are going to get a lot smaller as I put no value on those that will not work positively with heart-light This is a far more amenable solution, as the warrior in me hates to shed blood... But relishes in it when he must... This is where my heart for Asrael can be... vicious... This is invaluable advice... Thank you for reminding me... I shortened his tentacles, but not extremely although part of me wants to turn him completely black.. I offered him heart light- this is a new dynamic for me... |
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 10:04:50 GMT 9.5
>. I shrug off their chains and only focus on my wolf girl... They stand in the shadows... Grateful I am not using my authority Over the last week I was with a woman (humanoid) that has a significance recognised by the Lords of Karma (Lipika Lords). In the right context she requests that particular group/family karma impacts be removed from her and they do it immediately. Ah ha! Context! This is what I lack |
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 11:23:32 GMT 9.5
So glad to be able to help you through this! Safe journeys! Thank you... SO much... I was so lost before I found Paul and this forum and the esoteric forum, from my perspective, finding out I have a wolf wife... And the other supernatural events in my life... I needed guidance outside of conventional religion... I am still probing for answers... But, this helps. Presently, she is... Questioning everything... Doing a assessment of the relationship- and that is her right... I told her, she may do as she wishes... Including divorce me, or leave, or just take some space... I also see, that I should be WAY more invested in my health... I need to stay alive! Is this a purpose for living? With everything that has been invested in this... On a cosmic scale it is astronomical no pun intended, but I need to give her space... |
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Post by sammy on Oct 15, 2022 11:36:00 GMT 9.5
So glad to be able to help you through this! Safe journeys! Thank you... SO much... I was so lost before I found Paul and this forum and the esoteric forum, from my perspective, finding out I have a wolf wife... And the other supernatural events in my life... I needed guidance outside of conventional religion... I am still probing for answers... But, this helps. Presently, she is... Questioning everything... Doing a assessment of the relationship- and that is her right... I told her, she may do as she wishes... Including divorce me, or leave, or just take some space... I also see, that I should be WAY more invested in my health... I need to stay alive! Is this a purpose for living? With everything that has been invested in this... On a cosmic scale it is astronomical no pun intended, but I need to give her space... Paul has done a great deal for so many of us, myself included. I wish I could do more in return. I am forever grateful for all of you. |
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 12:20:35 GMT 9.5
So, I humbled myself- softened my heart, and listened to the still, small voice...
It said to me... "Let go of your expectations of her..." Rather than arguing, as I tend to do, I forced myself to heed the voice... And then a breakthrough...
I neither argued with Asrael... And it turned out the expectations were a hindrance... I expressed a sincere desire to meet her... Come-what-may. It helps, when pursuing one's heart... Not to argue with them when they ask you for something...
Heckin heck, there was a breakthrough with her, but it is hidden from me, possibly for a reason- I asked her if there is anything explicit she does not want me to share, here, to tell me so and I will not.
Oh- that my expectations were (Some nebulous fearful thing) but she told me, CLEARLY- I might be head over heels in love with her...
But our first meeting is likely to be as traumatic- for her- or more- even- and my heart did not account for this... I assumed she was a tough bad ass wolf girl and there would be little to no vulnerability...
Guys I was wrong...
When I acknowledged her vulnerability... Instead of assuming she was cool as a cucumber and a prepared girl...
It even might be... That I spend time in the base... Acclimating... releasing fears... Preparing to meet her... (Part that she did not like removed)
Yes, and when I accounted for the fact that... She may actually be more human than I think... Softer... Inside... She began to open up to me.. And a flood of reality based understanding came into my being... Helping me, prepare....
This is hard... But it is a beautiful labor of love... Clearing my internal self of his harmful debris...
I wanted to know that I would be safe... She has the exact same concerns... For different reasons... She doesn't want me to act harmless...
She wants the inside of me to be empathically connected with her.... Devoid of things that can harm her, but in my psyche... I have had to be a terrible person... In the past... And she won't tolerate any evil in me...
May this work be done. I asked the universe, what does this look like- it told me, just now- it looks like an uncorrupted child... Makes sense.
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Post by tundrawolf on Oct 15, 2022 12:47:41 GMT 9.5
Thank you... SO much... I was so lost before I found Paul and this forum and the esoteric forum, from my perspective, finding out I have a wolf wife... And the other supernatural events in my life... I needed guidance outside of conventional religion... I am still probing for answers... But, this helps. Presently, she is... Questioning everything... Doing a assessment of the relationship- and that is her right... I told her, she may do as she wishes... Including divorce me, or leave, or just take some space... I also see, that I should be WAY more invested in my health... I need to stay alive! Is this a purpose for living? With everything that has been invested in this... On a cosmic scale it is astronomical no pun intended, but I need to give her space... Paul has done a great deal for so many of us, myself included. I wish I could do more in return. I am forever grateful for all of you. Truly... Truly... I could live multiple lives STEEPED in religion and not be anywhere near where I am at in the universe because of him, and you, and this place... |
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Post by paul on Oct 15, 2022 13:10:32 GMT 9.5
The cosmos invests in its own
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Post by sammy on Oct 15, 2022 14:03:10 GMT 9.5
The cosmos invests in its own Well put Paul 💖 |
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