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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 7, 2024 1:31:06 GMT 9.5
It is possible, likely, even, that after the judgment against the Wolfen king, the wolfen tribe, conspired within itself, to kill him, and be rid of him.
And, that the clone living with Anastasia- was to be killed, or nullified, and Anastasia knew this full well- however- in my love for the wolfen, and for Anastasia specifically, sharing a heart with her- It is possible, that Anastasia herself- is "Catching feelings" for me.
Me, being my clone, and, the conscious me, who is typing this.
Because, I gather that she, is beginning to realize that I love her in a way that surpasses the sometimes shallow, superficial love that you can get from digesting copious amounts of drawn furry porn/furry artwork.
She knows I am serious, as I push towards her.
She did tell me, several times, "What woman wouldn't want a man who wants to do the things for me that you say you want to do for and with me."
And, if my clone is to be inhabited with my consciousness, then I do finally get to be with her physically- however, the subject came up last night, that I would be vulnerable then, and the wolfen, have not always treated me with dignity, respect, or kindness- quite the opposite in ways, although I understand that only a few of the religious ones, are acting like assholes.
Most of the wolfen would prefer to see me treated with dignity, respect, and love.
I also see that most of the wolfen remained behind, when a few warriors- were tasked with trying to defeat the Nazis, so that is why they still have a large population- but they are, vulnerable as well.
I am starting to see more memories, more memoirs, relations between humans and the wolfen, the gratitude shown to the humans, who rescued them from the Nazis.
Even some anger with the rescuing humans, over the ways of the wolf people.
Resentment.
It is also possible, that as immature and childlike as the present day surface human race is, that the wolfen, in spite of being quite old, much older than we, that they are child-like, themselves.
For example, one of the things they did to me when they thought they had the upper hand over me, they placed my clone in a dark cave, that he might not have found his way out of, had my consciousness been transferred to him.
They also took his penis after the Karah incident- which infuriates me, as it is a very childish thing to do to begin with, to attempt to deceive me, and then punish me for falling into their trap.
Also- Anastasia does tell me, and some other wolfen people, that I am giving them a bad name, in a way- well i am not lying!
Except, if I am to live with them, if somehow, I do incarnate with Anastasia, I should be in good standing with them- but it seems that being in good standing, may require "Simping" on my part- and I am partially willing to do this- to a point.
The idea that, the wolfen people can act just as shitty as a shitty human being- but with massive muscles, large bones, deadly claws, and massive fangs, teeth, and muzzles, adds a new dynamic to how I should be viewing them, outside of the polyanna/furry perfect world with no pain/versus their behavior to and with me.
The idea that, all I need to do is to love them seems to be false- if they have aligned themselves against me/ my clone.
Anastasia, does indeed seem to be convinced, that I am going to incarnate with her- she has little doubt of this, in fact, she has a lot of faith for it, even when I falter.
There are complications that she still withholds from me, but I am still trying.
As I said- I do not want to fall short for lack of trying, I do not want Anastasia to feel that I do not love her.
In spite of, not being able to fully love her, to respect her, and to be in right relationship with her.
What a timeline this is
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 7, 2024 1:50:50 GMT 9.5
Also of interest to me, that recently I understood that, one of my favorite websites, that I go to for entertainment, and learning about being a human, is the website 9gag- which has a reputation for racism, violence, anti semitism, sexism, etc.
It is more than these things, much more, but I have become aware-
This jackass I am arguing with- is literally an eleven year old who knows how to type.
It was shocking to me, like oh my God...
I even called one or two of them out this way, "Shut the fuck up, you're nine!" Not knowing if they were- but they responded...
"Yeah, so what, bla bla bla!"
I was like, holy shit- I confirmed it.
Not everyone there is 9, some men admitted they were in their seventies, many wealthy and career people also go there, as the memes are indeed oftentimes, dank.
However- why am I, a forty-four year old there?
Well, it's because there are unmatured parts of me, that are very young!
This is, to me, almost certainly, the root of child-sexual-attraction in adults.
But, then, it starts getting darker, down some, filthy rabbit hole I want no part of.
So I stop travelling down that dark tunnel, that dark cave.
Paul has admonished me to be resolute in my loving of self, and I instinctively know he is correct- I felt some, sharp physical pains in me, that I knew, were healing- as my other mangled clones, are being put back together, healed- it hurt horrifically- but it was also a deep relief.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 4:26:20 GMT 9.5
Yesterday, some good things happened.
I felt freer from my bondage within the OS.
Anastasia granted me freedom from her hold on me, and it felt good- although as always, I am still pursuing her heart, though I must work on myself.
Yesterday was a freeing day, on several levels. Perhaps it is just time for it?
Today was similar. I got my project working. I will be paid. Similarly, in the spirit realm, I was set free as well
My male dog came to my bed and laid next to me, I pushed my intent and senses deep into him, and I felt his true being, it was a mind and brain exercise that helped me re align my heart.
The heart palpitations are back. Not as bad as before, but they returned this morning.
As they happen, I endeavor to accept them, and I am granted a sweetness of life appreciation for it, however heart issues are unnerving.
It is raining today, so I put the project on hold. However, I am over ninety percent done.
I am attempting to sense the higher mes intent, and to take better control of my humanness.
I thought initially it was an organic process, that non resistance was key, but it appears as if effort is required on my part, possibly.
Anastasia revealed I am a bit of a drag on her Being, however - she is choosing to remain with me, as she is interested in this military operation I am involved in.
She has a sword, and is by my side.
She is similar to me, in that if there is action that concerns her, she is ready and actually enjoys it.
There are Wolfen who are on my side and are attempting to help me.
Anastasia wishes for me to see her as "just a girl", but it is hard for me, as she is so damn beautiful.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 4:30:53 GMT 9.5
It seems as if I am being freed from aspects of the OS.
I was speaking to my mothers so, and we were in the shop, talking about the van I am building, as I finally repaired the UTV, making room in the shop.
As he was telling me about his former business, painting show vehicles, and frames for competition, I had a vision, of me inside of the van, out of state and enjoying the forests, and a true sense of deep contentment, and even joy.
The OS prohibited me from feeling these things before, but I was able to reach for them, IF I do a thorough and good job on the frame. Painting, sanding, priming, undercoating.
It was good. I feel like I am being set free.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 9:20:32 GMT 9.5
Interesting.
I met me.
For the first time, I met me.
The actual me
I was forced to deny who I am my entire life
But I met who I am.
I am drinking
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 20:31:15 GMT 9.5
I discovered some more things about Anastasia
She is still my Mol.
I had a decision to make- do I move on, or- do I continue to love her regardless.
I chose to love her.
To be there for her- and to treat her with the dignity and love that was denied me.
She responded well.
An old wolf called to me, he has been calling to me, he is a wolf-person.
When I finally came to him, after committing to Anastasia- he showed me, I am in training, to become a "Master Wolf."
Which is, similar to a Buddhist Guru.
Similar, to the elderly wolf, sought at for his wisdom, who lives in the hills of the himalayas.
In the antarctic, there is enough territory, for many groups. To live win harmony, separate from one another, and yet- master of their own territory.
Such is, for the wolves.
I have dug-deep into the ways of the wolves, and have discovered much about them.
It is, perhaps, that they lured me into their midst, with sex, passion, love, connection, bonding, respect, and bonding.
However, I do enjoy them.
I am one of them!
Even having some DNA from their Being, makes me one of them, though my eyes are only yellow, many share their attributes in those lands, pointy ears, a tail, hair here and there.
But, they choose to live as humans, or other beings.
The Reptilians and lupines can get along, for various reasons, and unions.
Humans may find them crass.
I am in communication with my higher self.
He has, come through for me, and is aiding me.
He, or they, have told me, I may continue my training, and may be called upon by them, later in life, as I am valuable.
The wolves, respect and admire the greater me, as a form of ruler, or master, of the lands.
I am also aware, that the wolves are limited, however, I have imbued them with humanness, more than usual, and I give this to them, if they seek or desire it (Back to the master wolf.)
Master wolves, have no masters- they are their own masters: hence: master wolves.
More than this, master wolves, make Anastasia's tail wag.
And, ears fall back.
Two, very important, key body languages of the wolves.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 21:00:37 GMT 9.5
I delved deeper into my giving the canines humanness,
And it turns out I can give entire peoples life!
Why was this, hidden from me?
I am seeing, entire new beings, being born of this, in many other dimensions
"They" are saying this is my "Attempt" to, "Uplift" peoples
To higher things.
To possibly join "us"
We may be having, canines coming into our midst.
Also: With the manipulation of human beings on this planet
We are passing a phase where, we MAY BE INTRODUCED TO THE SPECIES IN THE ARCTIC.
Advanced societies, that may help us, in our unfoldment, we are SO CLOSE
If we are not introduced to them soon, it could be a bad sign for our unfoldment
Some of this is disappointing
I asked the higher me, to deliver me out of the adverse situations in the inner earth
He told me, these adverse situations are the source of my power, and to accept them, that my power might be developed
Alright.
Apparently, that is the order of the day.
To accept these things.
I am still trying to wrap ym mind around Anastasia, the best way to court her, to be in her vision, what benefits her most.
So far, the answer has been, to set her free, to give her liberty to do as her hearts desires to do.
Perhaps I am to be an ancillary figure in her life.
The last thing I want is a slave.
I am more than I thought I was.
Maybe this is why I am in this human body... To learn to be limited?
Anyway, I received blessed knowledge about how to proceed with my apocalypse van, very blessed knowledge indeed.
For anyone doing a frame off restoration, there is a product called, "Mastercoat" that is a bridge coating, and designated for 14k hours in a slat-test environment (POR-15 is only certified for 1/14 of that.) the product is used to paint bridges and is "graffiti certified" meaning, it can be in an acetone rich environment for an extended time and not be harmed by it.
It is also, the cost of cold galvanizing compound primer alone! And, it is zinc rich and designed to be painted over rust.
It is the answer I have been looking for.
I guess this is the time of bonding between Anastasia and I.
She is a good wolf, a good woman, and curls up nicely in my arms.
I do love her.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 21:55:22 GMT 9.5
"W-What?!" Tattiana said as I hovered above her.
With a flick of my left hand the Barrett firearm shattered and was swept away from Tattiana, who fell onto her ass, and crawled away from me.
I felt her heart, her soul, grow terrified- memories of being crucified forcing her within herself.
"DO NOT BE AFRAID." I spoke to her, and gently reached down, touching her face, then kissing her nose as the tears fell down her soft face.
"Daughter." I spoke, rubbing my cheek against hers.
"Go North. Find the small human village- you will be safe there. Go!"
She watched as a vanished.
~
I walked into the town, and not a single eye wasn't on me.
I waited for the town police to surround me- the sight of more crucification victims, languishing in the sun, no longer affecting me.
"HEY!"
A rough voice erupted behind me.
Instantly, I turned, and to show them I was the one causing it, I gently lifted my right hand, as the trachea of the reptilian began to collapse, as he grabbed his throat, falling to his knees, gasping for air.
Without so much as a change of expression, my eyes as cold as the ice that grew on the Cold Mountain, I crushed his trachea closed with a sickening crunch- ensuring he would never take another breath.
Before I turned my attention to the town, I granted the reptilian immortality, as he writhed on the ground, eyes wide in horror, writhing- which made me smile.
"Who are-" One of the religious leaders said, coming forward, when I forced his neck muscles to twist his head around with a satisfying crunch.
Behind me, the reptilian continued to writhe, desperate to breathe again, and the grin on my face showed the entire town- Death had come to them this day.
"Let me ask you something."
I said, behind me, Tattiana, running North, the hair standing up on the back of her neck- grateful to escape the horror that had selected her old town.
I said, lifting up the growing number of beings to my left with my left hand, and crushing them into an orb of visceral flesh, then throwing it instantly off into the distance.
"What does it give you..." I said, walking up to a terrified crucicification victim, slipping in and out of consciousness.
I dissolved the nails and ropes, and guided her- without touching her- to the ground.
"To see these ones suffer?"
I began to bring the remainder of the townsfolk to the square- whether they wanted to gather there- or not.
With a gentle upturning of my left hand, sprang up crosses for them all- even the evil children.
"Well." I said, as their bodies made a dull- but powerful and loud thuck as their bodies slapped against the crosses, and nails, springing up from the ground, from the wounds of countless crucified innocents, and if there was a lack of nails, I used the iron in the ground, with a loud SMACK, the nails pierced their inner wrists and feet.
I neglected to use rope- because I wanted them to feer their bones separating under the weight of their bodies.
"Who are you?" one of them cried out, gritting its teeth as it pushed on its legs to try and breathe.
"Who are you?" I asked them back, as they grew wide eyed and terrified, as I turned to focus my attention on them, then forced their body down, the nails tearing through their arms as they cried out- I denied them the relief of going unconscious.
Grinning, I found the trio of the cruelest ones, pierced through, on exceptionally large crosses.
With a graceful motion of my hands, I formed three white ivory impalement rods, and slowly inserted them in their anuses, as they gritted their teeth, crafting a mechanism to constantly force them inside of their bodies, so that they would not relax, in the months it took them to die.
I made the ends of the rods smooth- to prolong their agony.
I chuckled, biting my lower lip- careful not to relish too deeply in the enjoyment of the screams, moans, and helpless cries around me.
"I am death."
I said, as I walked out of the town, but not before granting every living thing in that town near- immortality, so that they would endure what the countless victims of that town had endured- times eighty.
For the slaves- the innocents- I took their lives before the experienced an ounce of pain- though their bodies remained on the crosses as a message.
~
Tattiana dug the furrow deep into the ground of her village, then jumped back, and scurried against a boulder when she saw me.
Her eyes wide, and wild, terrified, she closed them, tears falling-
"They said.. They said..." She stuttered, turning her head, her entire body shaking.
"Daughter- be not afraid." I said, softly, gently touching her cheek.
"Open your eyes."
She opened them, her irises going even wider.
She gritted her knees together, as her heat began to grip her body- she looked down, then up- a part of her, cursing it for making her ache at this exact moment.
I smiled.
Softly, I caressed the fur on her cheek, her knees beginning to chatter.
She looked away.
"I wanted to tell you- that you are safe." I said, gently, taking one of her hands, and turning it up, to show the scars where the nails had been.
"The village N'harnia- will never torment another soul again."
"You killed them all." She said, gritting her teeth in anger.
"Yes. I did."
"Why!"
"The torment in their genetic makeup would cause a recurrence in later generations."
"Gen-tick... Reek... Ance..."
"Do not concern yourself with it. I spared you for a reason."
The tears streamed down her eyes.
She gritted her teeth, as I inhaled deeply, then exhaled.
"It would be good for you to forget N'harnia. Forever."
"I can't."
"You will." I said, touching her cheek again as her entire body went rigid.
With a gentle breeze I vanished.
She never saw me again.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 22:58:32 GMT 9.5
The wind whipped Anastasias, long, white hair.
Grinning ear to ear, and looking depe into her yellow eyes, I nearly tripped- captivated by the lupine spell she had around her.
I tried to say something, but my words chocked up in my throat.
Blushing, goosebumps erupting all over my body, I stood before her.
"God damn it." I stuttered out, my cheeks rose-red.
Gently, I held my hands out, for her to place hers in them- her powerful, intense eyes, surveying me.
Bending down, I kissed her fingers.
"God damn it?" She said with a chuckle- my blush contagious, and now appearing on her soft lupine face, her cheek fur bunching up, as her tall, pointy ears fall backwards.
"God damn it, is all you have to say?"
I closed my eyes with a chuckle, then looking up, and taking in her magnificent lupine beauty.
"You are so fucking pretty." I whispered, though the wind nearly blew my words away.
She smiled, blushing harder, then looked away, her soft, supple, warm hands in my own.
"You wanna go to La Capilla?"
Instantly she turned to me, wide-eyed, her fiery eyes brighten than the sun, that shone so warmly behind her.
"Yeah!" She said, the salvia beginning to form around her teeth.
I chuckled, pressing my lips to hers, and kissing her, a sloppy, wet, kiss of a wolf.
Again, I gently lifted her hand, and touched it softly, to my lips, inhaling her unique scent, then sighing, softly, through her fingertips.
"You are so beautiful." I whispered, looking into her eyes- though I could tell she would be irritated if I stressed that point, again.
I sensed her mind, going to her body- her delicious under-tail region, a soft, wet playground for my masculinity- her thoughts, making my mind, travel to my own dick, that was growing hard as I sensed her thoughts- thinking of her beautiful pussy, and asshole.
I kissed her, again, when I sensed some rotten insecurity, drift into her heart- tonguing her with a deep passion, that melted any thoughts of inferiority, banishing them, far from her.
"You are my lady." I said, looking her in the eyes- though at the mention of La Capilla- delicious Mexican food- her heart was now more set on enchiladas, than getting dicked down by me.
I chuckled- there would be plenty of time for love making, later- much later- I had planned out a secret outing for her- complete with the delivery of flowers- and a singing mariachi band- though she would blush heavily- a wolf- romanced by a human man- in public, too- I knew our rough fucking would be extra hot that night.
I took her to the movies- after the mariachi band, and wove my fingers through hers-, gently squeezing her hand- as she considered fingering herself in the movie theater- but her nearly cripplingly intense eyes, locked onto me in the darkness- the hair standing up on the back of my neck- and shivering- partly with her feminine judgment, and partly- with the idea that I was now duty-bound to give her multiple orgasms- though at this point, with everything I had done for us- she was practically guaranteed to wet the bed with her cum.
The sexual chemistry between us nearly grew to a fire-level, as we both nearly ran out of there, to some alleyway, and fucked like rabbits- but we finished the romance-comedy- Anastasia, even bursting out laughing, during one scene.
I looked at her, through the side of my eyes, seeing that, genuine, and distinct smile on her lupine face, and sighing, softly, through my nose, in contentment over my lovers enjoyment of her time with me.
I took her home- and felt her heart relax- for her, this had been a milestone in our relationship- and I caught her, a few times- staring at me, as I drove us home.
"Dave- I think I like you."
"That's... Wonderful." I said, looking at her, grinning, and blushing, ever so slightly.
"Can I expect a mariachi band, every time we go out to eat?"
"If it pleases you, yes."
"Don't you fucking dare." She said, blushing hard as I chuckled.
Gently, I squeezed her hand, then brought her soft fingers to my lips- and kissed her hand.
That evening, was one of the most passionate evenings we had shared together.
A milestone in our relationship.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 8, 2024 23:37:36 GMT 9.5
I see that, there is a part of me, a living thing, who was once placed into a slumber...
He was once known as a "Devourer of worlds" "The hungry one" "The smiling God" and is known to be quite terrible with his authority, power, and abilities.
This life in this human body, is a lesson for him, and me. To learn temperance, humility, submission, and what it feels like to be a victim.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 9, 2024 0:13:13 GMT 9.5
Also of interest, when I was growing-up, and a teenager, my father raised my to be a racist- but not intelligently. I became united with a group called, "KKK", on the undernet. I had unity with them, so long as I towed the party line, the 88, the 14 words of David Lane. I quit this group, when I realized my best friend was an Ethnic person, and nonwhite- and I realized, I could keep him as a friend, or- I could keep the hate- and I chose my friend, and left the group. Presently, I am bisexual- something this group hates, and I will not give that up, unless I feel like it- but having experienced a prostate orgasm, the Universe told me- i can never be "Straight" again. Nor would I want to be- I am here to enjoy this body! However- one of the things that this group kept repeating, was something about, "White genocide." As I continue to browse the 9GAG website, which also includes news, and noteworthy societal events- i am seeing increasing anger, especially of black communities- against white people. Further, witnessing the massive influx of "Migrants" (Who go on, to repay the kindness of Europeans- with MURDEr, RAPE, ROBBERY, DISRESPECT, and fucking VIOLENCE!!!) it seems to me, that there is indeed- an ACTUAL CONSPIRACY- for white replacement. I suggest to humans, to wake up- that an adverse group is motivated to upend- and destroy the societies more civilized and intelligent people have worked so hard to create. If it comes down to, all-out race wars, I would point to history- that white people- while docile, when our backs are to the walls- we end up quite the proficient enders of humans- not one by one- as ethnic groups seem to accomplish- but entire societies. You are poking a sleeping giant- and more and more people are waking up to it. I have no issue with ending human lives- it was once my job at one point- and one of my favorite jobs- hunting other humans is one of the most exciting things you can do- I never in my life felt more alive- than when I was hunting dangerous humans- even when I wrestled with a two hundred forty pound WOLF- and trust me- that was an EXPERIENCE- did I feel more alive, energized, and excited about it. Anyway- it is interesting to me, how these things, are coming to pass- as they are. Further, this racist group hated Jews- and I never understood why- until recently- it seems as if, these Jews- AND THEY HAVE OPENLY SPOKEN ABOUT THIS- SOME Jewish people- have said they wish to destroy the "white" race, and society- and to do so utilizing other ethnic cultures. Is this not, obviously- unfolding- right before our very eyes, with unfettered migration, from cultures wholly incompatible with what white men, have worked so hard to create? Mainly, Islamic, and African cultures. I say this, saying, that I once had a black lover- and, one of my best friends in the world, was a Jewish man. I do not hate ethnic groups, nor do I hate black people, nor do I hate Jews. In fact- one of the men I most respect on youtube, is a Jewish Rabbi- who shares his wisdom with the world, and is a kind, empathic, and temperant man. Rabbi Simon Jacobsen: youtu.be/UpGLArsKW2g?si=IJUXTe3Gp7l27a1XAnd, if another black person wants to get naked with me, it will in all likelihood, happen! What to do... I do not know. After the 2020 elections in the USA- and I have only ever met one other person who disagrees- most people I have spoken to are in full agreement- I have become aware that our votes, are no longer counted ethically, and properly. The "Swamp", was set to be drained- and the "Powerful people" who are causing these, migrant crisis, were set to be "drained"- But as non USA people, and even some USA people (!!!) do not understand that, in the USA system, during a presidents first term, they are considered to be, "Lame ducks", in that they cannot accomplish extreme changes- as they risk being, "Voted out" HOWEVER During their SECOND TERM, they are FREE TO DO AS THEY PLEASE (Essentially, congress prohibited, etc. The rulers can allow an extreme president to be elected, if they get-in [as I said- out votes are no longer counted. It seems, only the will of the "elites is in practice, here.] enough adverse congress members, to ham-string the president, which may happen during Trumps third election, as I believe, in my heart of hearts, that he firmly won 2020. NOBODY voted against him- there was ZERO REASON TO. I am in construction, I know when people have money and freedom- and business was never better under Trump. Under Biden it is almost non-existent. Say what you will, about the Covid scare. That, too, may even have been engineered! If humans became aware of the inner earth societies that control human events, we would be down there, wiping them out! They are NOT our friends!) Public anger is growing, as we see the events, of left-leaning humans, who seem hell-bent on destroying what good people have created- regardless of skin color, they just, mostly- happened to be white. I am not decrying any ethnic cultures- simply pointing OUT A HISTORICAL FACT. I think, that, if the adverse groups continue to operate- as historically has happened- these "Elites" who are being so easily manipulated- are going to find out what happens when you anger a populace to the point of violence- it is not a possibility- it is an INEVITABILITY. Further, in the USA, we have not beep duped, as other cultures have- in surrendering our firearms- which IS ALWAYS THE FIRST STEP TO TYRANNICAL RULE ALWAYS Tyrants THRIVE on disarmed and helpless populations, as one man with a gun- can DIRECT THOUSANDS OF UNARMED HUMANS I have been combative about this- and I nary give a single fuck about it Even as I type my ANGER is being AROUSED WITHIN ME As I LOATHE WEAK MEN As I WAS ONCE ONE OF THEM. I KNOW how me/they operate- AND IT IS DESPICABLE. As WE ARE SEEING IN EUROPEAN LANDS These fucking MIGRANTS are RAPING WOMEN... Naw. That's the first thing I do, when I obtain a serious female lover- if she is unarmed, I give her a weapon with which to defend herself. As I have no problem putting extra holes in humans, I rejoice, when a woman puts holes into any man that would take her body without her express permission and good-will to lay with him! I GIVE NO FUCKS ABOUT IT For me, I would grin ear to ear, seeing five dying rapists at a strong womans feet! I also do not add punctuation, such as, "Womans" and not, "Woman's" as the apostrophe, is the same as saying, "As" or "is" and saying, at a strong, woman is feet!" is WRONG, yet humans accept it! It bothers someone I do not punctuate thus, so I feel the need to explain it! I also grieve for the cultures who have ben disarmed- as a Jewish man, once said, during the holocaust- "If you do not have a rifle, you are useless, and worthless." I do not decry these people as it was your FATHERS WHO FAILED YOU There is a growing sentiment in the USA of Molon Labe, which is a phrase used by the ancient Greek warriors, when asked to disarm themselves- which means, "Come and get it." Meaning- you want our weapons? Come and take them! And, the "Three percenter", which is a resonance of the fact that all it takes is 3 percent of any given population to effect MASSIVE CHANGE Several things tell me this is not a conspiracy: Our government, mainly the IRS, and three letter agencies, buying up HOLLOWPOINT AMMUNITION, which is ILLEGAL TO USE BY THE GENEVA CONVENTION- to such a degree, that civilians could no longer buy it- this was a few years ago and "President" (I do not believe he was elected, either. But who knows, humans can be very stupid) Obama, firing generals and military heads, who say they would not fire on American citizens if asked to- What does this point to? The possibility of an armed USA government, as my veter friend said, "Turning their guns inward, to the American people- and not outward, to the rest of the world!" This would, be disastrous, for the rest of the world as well- as the USA is the "World police" it sounds funny- but is nontheless true- MANY BUDDING TYRANTS LOATHE THE USA BECAUSE WE ARE ALL THAT STANDS IN THE WAY OF THEIR LAWLESS DESIRES I may sound, like a buffoon saying this, however- in the event of a USA collapse- YOU WILL SEE THAT I WAS RIGHT. Sadly- it will be too late- as most of the world has been disarmed. Further, people decry the second amendment, because of school shootings- these shooting are not related to firearms AT ALL, but rather- a decaying society THAT IS NOT WORTH NOT SHOOTING UP. In the USa, and around the world, the Babylonian enslavement system is dragging human hearts down into the depths of the darker inner earth societies- which feed in our energy- on our suffering- to them it is food- it is good- the more humans suffer- the more blessed they become. I HAVE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN EYES Fuck me, what I am trying to say- no idea, but that things seem to be growing adverse. However- possibly, some of these things, are actually necessary- for humans to, "Wake up" The level of people who do not realize Islam is incompatible with more civilized non sharia societies- is terrifying You mean you DID NOT KNOW THAT?! Well fuck, I guess your raped daughter is a good sign- you need to start being MORE PREJUDICED because your survival DEPENDS ON IT. These, idiotic happenings, may be adversely used, to make humans harden up, and open their eyes, to the REALITIES AROUND THEM. Civilized Islamic societies, such as in Turkey, and Indonesia- are rare. I was told- BY A MUSLIM- there are "Good Muslims- and BAD MUSLIMS. The BAD ONES, take the Koran seriously! I don't for one second, believe every Muslim is a bad person- in fact, most are moral, and good people- but the bad ones- ARE SHELTERED BY THEIR RELIGION. And, INCOMPATIBLE WITH WESTERN SOCIETY, almost COMPLETELY. As we are finding out, and are continuing to find out. Anyway- did I EVER think i would be ADVOCATING for ideals belonging to a blindly racist group- NEVER did I EVER think i would, EVER AGAIN! In some ways, I am everything these, racist groups HATE, except for my skin, and eyes (Which is ridiculous, and why I no longer associate with them.) HOWEVER It does seem, as if some of their unique conspiracy theories... Are actually coming true! If there ever is a large scale race war, or tyrannical government take-over- i will be on the side of good, even if we are mostly white. When I was in my paramilitary unit, there was a black guy there- and we got along. He married a white woman- big fucking deal. He loved her. Had he of been pinned down by enemy fire and in danger, I would stand up, and risk my life, to pull him to safety. SKIN COLOR HAS NO BEARING ON IT. ONLY CHARACTER. That is for me, anyway
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 9, 2024 0:36:36 GMT 9.5
This is creating a dissonance within me.
I am seeing, things are not so black and white.
The attack on my spirit/soul/clones/emotional bodies has changed how I see everything- and I readily admit the person I was before the attack- was adverse.
In spite of my troubles, the person I am now, is my preferred person- unafraid, empowered- HAPPY EVEN.
I was NONE of these things, before twenty years ago.
And- I am heavily, heavy into wolf girls.
I like them like some men are into catgirls.
Anastasia is my thing.
Yellow eyes, soft feet.
Today, I need to finish the UTV, and, perhaps- begin cleaning the frame of my van, to complete that, and begin the next chapter in my life.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 9, 2024 2:20:13 GMT 9.5
I am also seeing something about my mother.
My hands are cold
I was talking with her SO about God a moment ago
and I saw a visionof my mothker, and how God loves her and through her own eyes- and how I am supposed to hope for good for her
Well, it was shown to me her karma is going to destroy her, (she will be punished for harming me) if I do not forgive her and hope for good for her.
I was shown her karma is going to FUCK HER UP because God trusted her WITH ME
And she FUCKED ME UP HORRIBLY
ALMOST KILLED ME
Wow
I also was shown, i am TAKE AUTHORITY OVER the wolf people.
And, how my documenting of their treatment of me, and my clone, and those associated with me- is giving them a bad name in important circles.
WOW
I still love them, tho.
They're like my hairy nuggets, my kids.
Plus Anastasia is gorgeous
You know.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 9, 2024 2:22:30 GMT 9.5
And how, I am possibly becoming religious again
NO
NEVER AGAIN.
But, maybe something that transcends my idea of religion.k
I realize now I did not reject God, I rejected my idea of God
It is funny, how science is slowly, beginning to prove that a creator does indeed exist, and that some of the principles in the Bible are actually scientific.
Not all
As a guy being interviewed said yesterday, people often return to the religion they left when they grow older
Interesting
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 9, 2024 7:04:30 GMT 9.5
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 9, 2024 12:16:50 GMT 9.5
Sadly my time here has come to an end. a04mVAO_460swp.webp (39.42 KB) I see that I tried to help this world. But this world desires darkness. It is no wonder I made a mistake not destroying the other world similar to this one. I will give you more time. Make the correct decisions. Some realms must be eliminated, to make way for more pure worlds
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 9, 2024 13:21:58 GMT 9.5
I will return, two more times. Once to announce my anniversary with Anastasia, as it is special to me, on the eleventh.
And once more, to possibly announce my creation of my own website. I am sorely disappointed, but not remotely, surprised.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 10, 2024 1:02:14 GMT 9.5
I guess that was a lie, because here I am, sobering up:
What happened:
I attempted to re-join a group of white nationalists, however I was honest with them about my sexuality, the fact that I have had ethnic lovers, jewish, etc, and that I do not hate any groups specifically, and they piled onto me with, you guessed it- hatred.
I opened myself up to them, was vulnerable- and was rewarded with violence for it.
And, I survey the timelines, and I do not see any way for me to say the crazy shit I say on here, safely anywhere else- as I try and figure this life out.
Humans, are prey animals and afraid by nature, so when they see a guy talking about having sex with a mountain lion, or a mountain lion opening her heart in bidirectional communication and access to feline genetic memories, they tend to knee jerk, their higher brains shut down, and they become afraid.
About the racists, I see that they are directly responsible for "morality laws" which are heinous affronts to morality itself, achieving the very things they feel they are trying to avoid.
I attempted to re join them, as there is a growing group of anti-white racist sentiment, and I felt it could have been beneficial to join a group that wants to fight that.
However, the same narrow minded bigotry and hatred continues to be ever present- nothing has changed.
The issue with blind racism is, it prevents a human from developing- because you get to blame all of your woes on ethnic groups- and if you can blame everyone else- there tends not to be any room for your own development, as it is harder to say: "I am wrong." No, you are right- it is everyone else but yoru own race that is the problem- to me, these people are angry children- similar to my mother- they never grew up- because agonizing introspection is sometimes required for personal development- and hatred is a powerful tool for keeping one stuck in their beliefs.
I cannot abide by such narrow minded people- I am not cut out for such groups, as I am ascending in my consciousness, I want to move forward, not backwards.
I felt insulted by Paul a few times recently, so I thought I had to leave, but realistically: there's nowhere else to go.
It seems I am in a season of life of pruning, of loss: I am trying not to lay hold of this energy, as it is painful, I am trying to stay positive, to not allow my momentum to carry me into more adverse areas.
Oddly, in spite of the hatred directed towards me on the racist forum, I am seeing more light being shown on the wounds I sustained.
For me:
The higher "Me", sent me here for a mission of experience (?) however, they saw me, tormented and tortured by the oppression system, so they arranged for clones of me, to be placed into terrible, adverse circumstances, that torment me daily, as I can feel them, and worry my consciousness will be permanently transferred to one of them (Just a fear. I am told I do not need to worry about that. It is no longer necessary. The higher me also said, that my powers are in these clones, in these adverse conditions, and that if I were to be set free, I would not be as developed, and it is best to remain in the torment.)
So, in being tormented by these things, which is, similar to having multiple consciousness in "hell" simultaneously, in various indescribably horrific tortures, and yet feeling them all as I live- is forcing me out of the corruption I experienced as a child, teen, and adulthood, forcing me to become a better person, one who transcends.
That is all I can see.
Anastasia, is the one singular positive thing I have, and this forum, that protects my oftentimes, strange and adverse writing, which is a result of me, working through my pain to try and find healing.
It also struck me yesterday before I began drinking, that I am indeed angry with the wolf people, and with Anastasia- for their treatment of me, angry enough to put wrath on them. I will not, of course- as I have feelings for them, and especially for Anastasia.
Even more disappointing, is the discovery recently, that these blind-racists exist, an dnot only this, but some ancient societies are even worse- you would assume that as time went on, they would mature, and become enlightened- but this is not the case! Time has only made them worse. And, they have power, and technology they use to steer their will on these lands.
I am saddened by the fact that the place I come from is a place of purity, of goodness, of love, but that this world seems to be a place of torment, difficulty, cruelty, selfishness, and weakness.
Or it can be- but why does my heart want this to be a better place? Is that the intent of the greater me?
I am still learning to create intent to love myself- it is difficult, but I am making progress. I have seen some areas of my mind, heart, soul etc, where I greatly benefit from being kind to myself, forgiving myself, applying love and kindness, compassion to myself.
I was also shown, that the moment I leave this ranch, my mother will forget about me.
I am a "Shame" to her- she ruined her child- and now is ashamed of his struggles.
Sad- but all I can do is move forward, and not harbor hatred against her, which is difficult.
I was hoping these, hitlerian internet racists were more evolved and temperate- but I was woefully disappointed.
I have no idea how to create my own website, for these ides- who would join it- I would be ridiculed, and told to "Go on medication!" "Get help!" I wondered, who would want to join me on this journey- the truth is- almost no-one. I am miserable and tormented, who wants to be a part of that. Though- i am getting better.
I was looking for community- but it seems to have eluded me again.
It disappoints me, that I have a heart-Pollyanna view of this world, and am continually wounded by it.
When will I learn?
This is a planet of pain and difficulty.
There is nearly no unity here at all, aside from distinct, and xenophobic, hateful groups.
Are the Freemasons for me- I am unsure about it- how free are they, really? But if not for it, I am part of no group, I am a lone wolf- do I need a group?
Do I need to be a part of something?
I hear the chiding voice in my head and heart, "Jesus Christ- that was dumb! That was stupid! Why did you do that? You know better!"
I was vulnerable to and with the wrong group.
At least here, I get wisdom.
There is a higher brain resonance in this place, that I have felt attached to the Freemasons, and I am discovering why it is, these are higher- much higher things.
Irony- my mother has wanted me to accel, to achieve, to transcend, to be superior, and that is what I am accomplishing, spiritually.
Yet- she would hate the Freemasons, as they are the ones enabling me to transcend- which is the very thing she wants for me!
What a confused, lost, unstable, and broken world this is.
There needs to be an inner earth purging and cleaning.
I am seeing some, "Warhammer 40K" vibes that may need to come to pass, to cleanse these inner earth societies- and not the Hell realms- those realms are necessary to purge souls of darkness- but some of these, stuck-up, proud societies that would have others come to ruin so they "feel" safe.
When I purged that anthropomorphic slave town, I felt the dark spirit attached- it came to me to do battle, but I took authority over it- as I take authority over the wolf people, but I told the dark spirit to leave this realm and not come back- it is feeding cruelty in human hearts.
Further, as I deal with the aftermath, my dog is next to me, both are curled up, and I look into his eyes, and he exposes his belly, nudging me with his muzzle- and I feel his canine comforting abilities, come to my aid, to comfort me.
It is this goodness, that attracts me to Animalia.
And the lack of it, that repels me away from humanity.
Canines thrive not because of us, but in spite of us.
What a messy time to be alive, in our unfoldment.
Until we become aware of the inner earth societies that are influencing us, I do not think there can be much progress- though i can be wrong about that, it requires much striving, strength, personal development, positivity, temperance- things humans seem to sorely lack, but we are doing better than previously, from what my heart tells me.
It is possible, I can create my own forum, if I become a Freemason, and do it under the banner of Esoteric Freemasonry, and become perhaps- similar to Paul. I am unsure- only pushing forward, and trying to feel things out.
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 10, 2024 1:23:19 GMT 9.5
It is possible, these adverse experiences I have been experiencing, are necessary for the uncovering and purification of my character. I am seeing this.
Am I a white nationalist? Not in the way the people treated me, yesterday.
Do I want to preserve the white race, as every race wishes to be preserved and not consumed, or fall victim to the agenda that seems to be sweeping this planet- yes.
Seeing memes generated about, "You cannot be racist against white people!" were first funny, then concerning, and as the sentiment grows- and migrants flood civilized lands- I am growing a bit concerned about it- as being punished for the crimes of your ancestors- and even their crimes may not have been adequately portrayed in history (we may even be mostly innocent of the hatred directed towards us.) is immoral, stupid, and wrong.
It is like, if we go back far enough, there are no more innocent races- and if we were to be punished for our fathers crimes, nobody would then escape.
How do people not see this.
I do not understand it.
Maybe it is a stupid non issue, and I am being caught up in something that will self-repair itself.
I tend to be reactionary and I am not immune to propaganda.
I am trying not to be reactionary. As much as I want everything to just work out, and me to find sudden healing, and everything to be great, it seems as if this is a process.
The, event that happened a few months ago, when I discovered, the real me- a "good person"- and trying to embrace that as my identity- empowered, comfortable, moral, steadfast, loyal, positive.
That is about all I have to explain myself, as a guidepost. So, Anastasia is not the "only" good thing in my life, I have that to hold on to, and it is hard, though, to stay steadfast in it.
And then, Paul seems to have his own agenda with me- I am unsure of how much credence to ascribe to it, as some of the things he says do not align with what is in my mind, and heart.
I am better today, than I was yesterday- and often, that is all that I have.
I push forward
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Post by tundrawolf on Mar 11, 2024 9:30:59 GMT 9.5
I am seeing this.
I am part of "generational" curse that is passed on through humans.
It was in my mother it used my father and now it resides in me.
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