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[tundrawolf]

I do not know if there is deception being pushed onto me, and the wolf woman I met in the out of body experience in March of 21 is gone. I believe i was shown her body, discarded- it is possible they merely transferred her consciousness to another body, and temporarily set up an AI system to keep me engaged with her, as when I connect with the real her, it is overwhelming and unnerving (In a way).

My heart, resonates with a wolf woman- perhaps her, perhaps with a different body, perhaps they are all related- and she appears to be on a reptilian ship.

She is not a hologram.

I push my senses into her beingness, and I sense that she has a vast intellect, ancient- like the reptilians

I can see, definitely, how these beings can easily seduce a primitive human. The wolf girl shares in this.

She likely holds the same religion and beliefs as the reptilians. As far as I know, she has been granted some freedom, and roams the ship freely, unlike before, where she was more or less like a servant.

Her intellect seems to be more vast than my own, which may have been why I struggled to connect with her affectionately. I know, she feels the same way about my heart, and gut tenderness. Paul mentioned a being he met said he was using ten percent of his comparative intellect, I feel that Ladywolf, is similar to me in this regard. I think her cranial size may have something to do with that, she, "bristles" with energy, and you cannot be in the same room with her without the hair standing up on the back of your neck and a feeling of, discomfort, as you are in the presence of a vastly superior creature that has lived a very long time.

She seems to be attracted to me via the heart. The visions I had of her, longing for me towards the end, were very real. Her heart, admitted as such to me.

It feels, in a weird way, as I let go of the older dynamics and detach from the situation entirely, that this is a new beginning, in a way. And, the vision on another plane of existence, where her and I met, but under much more favorably circumstances, was good.




I am seeing more of my being that was hijacked and taken from me.

More broken pieces I am picking up and bringing for healing.

I am unsure of what to do about the twisting thing. I am using heart light, but it is only sometimes effective, I think I am a bit far from being able to use it more effectively, but I am seeing often, now, the areas of my life and being that were hijacked and taken from me.

I am endeavoring to be brave- and was ale to connect some positivity, some relief to some of my more dire torments.

I made some progress in this, it seems to be a mixture of, "Stepping out of it", and dealing with it directly, and what I "Agreed" to at the wolf sanctuary. A lot of my being held back, was lack of the ability (Strength) to cope with what was done to me, the horrors of being immortal and etc, surrendering myself in such a way.

I keep going back to the greater me, who is beyond all of this, and I do find some comfort and help there.

The shock of, coming to this world as a pure being, and then being subjected in such a raw fashion to all of this, has been difficult

I was able to see my mission here, to connect a form of beingness and to inject my being into it for the coloring of it, and I saw how adverse forces (Reptilians, etc.) saw this and attempted to make it impossible, or to destroy it.

I am seeing more progress in other areas of my life but- I was put through some difficult times, where I was pushed to understand that none of this matters, it is all only temporary.

The other aspects of my life, the living situation, the vehicles, etc- do not matter, they went from being priority one to being an afterthought.

I am still unsure about the healing, the wounding from my childhood, and the event at the wolf sanctuary, it seems to easily gotten out of, and yet, also seems like an insurmountable task that I will not be able to deal with in just one lifetime. I do not wish to carry any of it into another lifetime, unless it is without the "learning adversity" that looms over me, and seems to sap my joy of living.

In a way I don't really know, several futures were presented to me. It seems part of the event at the wolf sanctuary, was to put me into the trajectory of horror even after death, and i intend to change that as I grow and am able.

not sure what else

[tundrawolf]

basically been finding out to agree with the right hand guy

[tundrawolf]

I am also seeing how, if I took my life, my canines, would not do well emotionally, and some may also choose the same, so that is a factor

I am, seeing some more opening up of my situation, areas where I was forced to choose darkness and negativity and death in my beingness, where now if I push positivity and hope and love into them, they chnge and begin resonating within me for those things.

I am unsure of what healing looks like, as I ma dealing with several significant events all at once, the death of an old self, the birth of a new one, a changing of fundamental core beliefs, the adoption of new dynamics, and integration of the new, with also the old, with an entire new set of beliefs in a rebirth.

And what that looks like. As I took a nap and rested today, I began to see the crumbling of the rocks that used to entomb the old me, and light shining through, however it was also frightening, as the entirety of the old is being deconstructed- so what will the new look like?? What will that be like? Are my plans for the future, even to become homeless- valid?

What does the future actually hold

[tundrawolf]

After a vision of a zygote being, who is the love of my life, Ladywolf, the wolf woman, I received another vision after I woke up, and began to stir, and to eat.

I received a vision, of California, and the spiritual attractant of myself to it, even in spite of the adversity (Outlandish taxes, difficulty living there.)

It is calling to me.

I did not expect this. I take this as a good sign.

[tundrawolf]

About possibly migrating back to California, it does seem that there is a spiritual dynamic to those lands, that is calling to me, perhaps- due to my accessing my childhood. There was always a spirit attached to those lands that I have not discovered anywhere else. In fact, when I leave a state, it seems that that spirit is abandoned. This may be why I have an anchor/ a friend in California

Though life would be harder. And possibly end in homelessness, level 3, which is, no help from anyone, with nothing. (no vehicle, etc.)

Which may be why I am prompted to remain here

[tundrawolf]

Once I leave here, I lose all seniority (Over 13 years) and I can never return. Once I leave for California, I will be "stuck" there, with no support, outside of my best friend.