For surface humans, inner earth dynamics

[tundrawolf]

Well,

I have been doing spirit work with Lady Darkwolf's soul/spirit/consciousness, and her connection to the winds of darkness (like black mist)

I asked her, without asking her, (Via the hearts spoken thought) "Why are you so hard, cold, and mean?" To a degree that would destroy a human just to comprehend a portion of. (That level of hardness)

It goes, deep into the heart.

Well, I began to view, some of her background... There is a lot of, "Genetic plasticity" such as, if you have something pure, and innocent, born into a hell realm, just suddenly, ends up there, and that living thing manages to survive, over the generations, what would it look like?

It would resemble its environment.

Such as, if the only propagation of a species is rape, and subjugation by strength and force- what does that look like over millions of years, and, what does that look like, if that specie- is part human, adding divinity into the mix?

Well, it looks like Ladywolf.

Someone unconnected to her heart, may be quick to dismiss her, as something so violent it oozes from her pores.

Irredeemable.

Worthless.

"Below" me (Figuratively, and literally.)

If the myths of the Bible are true, then perhaps a Christian would call her, a demon, a fallen being, and judge her as such.

Well, if that is true, and your god would abandon his child to the underworld, what does that bode for you? On the topic of religion, while in "heaven", you see things that are offensive to you, that seemingly god condones, will you violate your own conscience for your god? What if, that is gods test of you, even while in heaven? The fact remains, in my heart of hearts, the rebellion was justified. And, if god is indeed just, then he cannot deny himself. (oh, god, religion.)

From the lense of Christianity, wouldn't a just god, attempt to show his inner earth children mercy. I have never had a child, but I know people who have, and I can feel the parent-child connection, it is one to me, that transcends rationality. o parent would ever send a child to hell and abandon them forever- that parents is then evil manifest, and why serve such a "deity".

Yet billions of people claim to, every day.

Well, I was unable to find a common ground between Lady Darkwolf and I... It is like oil and water.

I began to move on, to consider other things, when my heart pulled at me.

I saw, a great banquet table in the light, on the edge of the darkness, where I sat, at a head, and Lady Darkwolf, at my right.

She was, black, sweaty, gooey and had her scent. Around us, were, beings of authority and prestige. Lady Darkwolf, felt like, "A whore in church".

I reached out, and gently took her hand.

I told her, "Nobody here judges you." (And if they did, fuck 'em.) She looked at me, her eyes black, with slivers of gold, hard, as a stone in the Arctic.

I also, asked her, if there was a part of me, that would sustain her, and she showed me, a sliver of darkness, so I began to try to connect her to it, but it was a vast, vast distance away. In fact, in the ethereal realm where her beingness exists, distances are so vast, it can be, as if your being is a molecule, and are attempting to cross the distance of a sewing needle point, well for us, humans, that distance is so small we could not "cross" it as we engulf it, but if we were atom-sized, the distance would take billions of years to cross.

So, I forced my beingness to travel that distance, and I laid hold of that strand of darkness, and I brought Lady Darkwolf to it, so that she could have some sustenance, and I turned my attention, back to her, and she was: exhausted. Panting, essentially. I may have taken her on a "ride" that she struggled to endure.




Further, I was looking at my, usual "erotic furry artwork" and, I began to feel a deep pang in my heart, it was a being associated with Lady Darkwolf, who showed me, "You are overly sexualizing her." and, by doing so, I am skipping over, knowing her, as a person.

It was a deep and profound knowing.



Well, the intent of this, was to educate surface humans, as to life in some of the inner earth realms. Humans, seem to be particularly weak (Warhammer 40K) and reactionary when it comes to such things. They seek to eradicate, rather than understand, and I am well aware, how "Integration" proposes problems, as I see what is unfolding as "Migrants" are unleashed into civilized societies, in the USA we have been aware of this for some time.

"If such a society is so adverse, why tolerate its existence."



Well, there are societies that look at us humans, and judge us the exact same way. They would, eradicate us, if we actually mattered, much the same way as humans, would possibly seek to eradicate, the inner earth life.

A little empathy goes a long way.




Well, on a romantic note, as in my early work with Lady Darkwolf, I saw, a giant, black cube in "heaven" (Where God the guy with the beard) lives, which housed his, "Unwanted and adverse children" you could call it, "Hell", and the early morning out of body experiences, where i was transported there, perhaps an allegory into the unseen realms not discerned, I began to see a wall of the black cube, begin to dissolve, and on the other side, I saw, paradise, in the form of a forest, with grass, and trees, and natural beauty.

This, is why, when I was given the third OBE, I asked Lady Darkwolf, if she wished to leave her dark cube, and come to the forest, which, may provide a better, and more positive life experience for her. She declined. (Perhaps out of fear. She is in a hard place, but it is a hard place she knows.)

As my intent, is to attempt to unify such light and dark forces (extreme), this morning as I awoke, I began to see, a great garden begin to flourish in this union between the wolf-person, and I.

I did not understand it. I only saw it, as the amalgamation of my connection with her, and refusal to give up on her.

This, after I confronted the darkness to be one with it, only to discover, it was seemingly a deception in the first place, a predator that tried taking down a prey greater than itself.

[tundrawolf]

Charles Darwin would have a field day, studying Lady Darkwolfs realm. And, hers is not unique. Many such realms without light, are realms of chaos and violence, with the only survival barriers, being vast amounts of space.

Well, I began to survey her realm, and it appears, that there is a large male wolf person down there, sexually associated with Lady Darkwolf, in a somewhat romantic capacity (As much as you can be romantically attached to someone who takes your body by force)

He seems to be, a "Dark magician" who uses his innate predator abilities, as a wolf, and a man, and has been a deep sorrow for me, as I was once vulnerable to him.

He is perhaps the main supplier of dark magic against me. (Because I am connected with Lady Darkwolf, he has a hold of me, and I have been made vulnerable, with the events at the wolf sanctuary)

I wonder, if my purpose was hijacked- or if the original intent, was Lady Darkwolf, to unify these inner earth realms?

It is possible, Paul sees something I do not, but does not have the heart connection that I do



I recall, as I approach the darkness, especially yesterday,

The idea of anger in my heart, was- I suffered unconscionably in this incarnation, deeply, without discernible help, or aid, of any kind, and, yet, this supposed "Force of good", now wants MY help???

The fuck?

You, want me, to abandon those I have formed deep connections with, and love deeply, to help you- when you watched me suffer, for years, and fall into a horrible trap of endless despair- not lifting a single finger to help me out of this, and, now, ask for MY help?

You'll find my gratitude in the toilet




In the meantime, I'll continue what I have been doing. The task at hand. I will actually probably accomplish more this way. There are forces at work, as Paul says, "There is more than you are thinking or dreaming about" that are perhaps much deeper than even the greater me has imagined, hence my hijacking.

I was not having any fun, until I met Lady Darkwolf.

She gave me hope, when I had none (not even god would help me.)

She became my only light, in the darkness. Paul would have never had heard of me nor seen me, if it was not for her. I would have died, empty, alone, abandoned, and broken.

I owe her everything, in a way. But, to Pauls credit, I must also lay hold of myself.

I will attempt to continue to release her, as this is getting irritating. My hope is, she returns to me. Perhaps changed.