I just had a scary thought

[tundrawolf]

So... I am going through multiple dramas, I even contacted a few exes, and, the out of body experience wolf girl.

I have been uncovering, and testing memories, and things, and trying to figure out our past life entanglements,

In connecting with her (I cannot trust it.) a thought came to me, as a test I do, is if the memory (energy) is persistent

If, the energy does not persist, or it changes, such as a memory I think I had, it usually self corrects, and, "goes away"

Some persistent memories (Cannot be trusted 100%):

I created a horny wolf girl, as a fuck toy (essentially) slave

I did so, selfishly (Which is part of the adverse karma in this life. I did not care about what SHE wanted, I wanted a wolf girl to fuck, who had no choice, and that is what happened, except, she began to realize her entire life was pre-planned, she found me to be adverse, and she rebelled)

The sex was great

Other things were not.

Really, she is actually in the right.

I see the guy I used to be, and I would NOT want to be married/paired to/his slave, either

The more I discover, the more I feel bad for her, and agree with her

She acknowledges she was harsh on me, but really can't change that, what's done, is done.

She may be under control of adverse reptilians

She is considered to be property (As a created thing.)

The old me, is dying.

The new me, is struggling.

The thought that occurred to me:

I am ETHICALLY bound to her.

There are some things: She attacked me, which is, "Grounds for divorce" (Imprisonment, and worse, actually.)

It is possible, she has already separated from me, but I am holding on, because of the pleasantness and warmth I had for her in past life memories (Though she definitely does not share those emotions with me.)

My heart, and hers, agreed- she showed me,

I am the only person who cares about her.

I created her.

I am responsible for her.

I do not want her, imprisoned or harmed.

What, does she want? Has she made peace with everything, and only I am holding on?

One of the reptilians seems to be, taking care of her physical needs, but will that last? Am I not seeing it, because they are fucking like rabbits, and it would wound me, she acknowledges she can feel the torment of my jealousy, when she revealed, she had sex with the reptilian, and it hurt

(She comforted me about it, or someone attached to her did.)

I cannot, in good conscience, create her to be super-horny, then be unavailable to satisfy those desires and urges, that have also tormented me, all throughout my life, until I accepted it and began to obey her- and then get jealous, when she finds someone to take care of her needs

Is Paul right, was her body terminated? How, is she back? Is, it just her energy?

She did admit to me, in spite of all that has gone on, I am all she has, aside from various "fun" relationships she has- but I could be wrong. Her heart, "feels" a certain way, and I feel it, too. She is hiding a lot from me. I don't blame her, though.

She is for me, healing, and becoming whole. So, at least she has gotten to that point. She is NOT a bad girl. She is, in fact, a victim.

A victim with teeth

And I am discovering, I am actually the victimizer, or, I was.

That leads me to all sorts of, other questions. One of which, as I said, in a way- I am ethically bound to her. What if, she does not want to be terminated?

She wants her freedom.

Perhaps that is the proper course of action... To pursue granting her, her freedom, and as Paul said- allowing her to make her decision.

Ethically? The dynamic that I am responsible for her, did resonate within my heart.

She may be, "Tied up" with the reptilians, and being used to force me into an adverse situation. That complicates things.

Do I move on?

Do I detach?

I AM ETHICALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.

Is there, another answer, here?

Well, I feel good, about pursuing freedom for her. Let her make her decision.

NGL, if she chose to be with me, having her back in my life would be a positive thing.

Yes, yes, yes, Paul, I know,

A few weeks ago, she took my penis, and slid it into her vagina, and instantly I realized why I am so attached to her. I am glad she did it.

I think he engineered her vaginal canal to perfectly match his penis, which is why we both give each other amazing orgasms. Even if we have nothing else, we have that. She knows, she oozes sex, and even her, "Sticky" parts are still attractive to me.

Alright. I can see where I can invest energy, into the dynamic of her being free. This may be, just something to end up working out.

Although my relationship with the reptilians, is a bit muddy, I feel I did earn some of their respect. "Beating them at their own game" or something. Putting my foot down and refusing to be a victim was something they responded well to.

They tell me, that the wolf girl, means something to me, but they do not have those same attachments. In fact, they basically threatened to terminate her body when we argued, a few weeks ago. "She does not mean to us what she does to you." They will, end her life, they told me, if I become adverse to them, and use my abilities to cause them suffering, which, weirdly, would take away my only reason not to.

(I think they also know this)

Paul had a proper description of them, they have a lot of power, and control in this sector.

Paul, likely has the answer, I think. INTEND for her to be free.

Accept it, if she chooses me, or, chooses something else (She wants to be free. That does not mean she will end up at my doorstep. I have a feeling, the girl, wants to, "Sow her wild oats" and I respect that. I am in a similar phase, myself.

Is that the answer? Pushing energy to intention of freeing her? If I am ethically bound to her, then, maybe there really isn't any other alternative.

I find it interesting, that as I get closer to her, in this way, that she does, actually respond. However, the things I discovered especially recently, are a bit unsettling.

I pushed my intent to the reptilians- my life aboard their vessel would NOT be a good one. Even with her. (If she agreed to be my, "girl" again.)

I see, more of the adverse dynamics, and then I would be, "trapped". I do not want this. I guess- in a way, I, too, wish to be free.

Would I be willing to take the wolf girl, if she chose me- yes, but here. On this planet. Free and clear, only. Forgetting the past, and intending to honor her dignity, and to treat her as an equal.

We could even change our past, and say we, fell in love on some vacation, and live that way, as husband and wife.

There may be other dynamics at play, that, perhaps, the overlords son is in love with her, which is why this is so murky, but the, "Property" dynamic trumps that, however, that is another catch.

So, yes, I guess, the proper thing, is intend for her to be free, and for me to be free. To push intention into that. Funny how, discovering my moral obligation, has lead me, here.

[tundrawolf]

This is interesting.

After I began to intend for her to be free, I myself began to experience freedom.

I took some time, and connected with her energy, and began to speak to her, and it was not all pleasant.

There are parts of her that will miss me, in time. There are parts that are going to struggle, until she is at peace with herself. She, may be ready to, "Sleep" when she finds some peace.

I was given, a healthy vision in my head, of a healed Ladywolf, who comes to find me, in a different (but still wolf girl.) body. Perhaps, unencumbered with other influences, and traumas.

Well, she did not react fully well, but I did not expect her to. She is/was angry and that does help, however, as I intend her freedom, the parts of me that were, "Holding her hostage" get released. It is possible, this was not what she was expecting, and she may react adversely, however, I did tell her- I need to prioritize my own healing and freedom.

It is nothing, "Personal", and I reiterated several times, what she means to me. And, she told me, or someone attached to her- something positive,

"If you intend on setting her free, you must also, in earnest, leave a place for her, if she decides to return to you." And, her heart echoed this- even she could not fully discount, that in the future, I may be the man she wishes to be with- which, is strange to me, because if this was al done for revenge, why am I becoming the man she wished I was, from the beginning? It is just, strange. Learning the lessons she wished I learned, and sympathizing and understanding her- if it is a tragedy, then Pauls words about, maintaining a detachment is indeed wise.

However, the vision I received, was strong with positive energy.

She made sure to show me, she really does not have anyone else, and to not "close the door" on her- I also, am seeing more, "Out of love with anthros" dynamics as I browse the furry porn.

Like, this does not do what it used to do- it turns out, that was her, living in me.

I also see, more things I thought were adverse- are not, and me, admitting being wrong about various things, even and including about some dynamics with the reptilians. I do not think they are fully, "Adverse", their practices are just... Hard, sometimes.

What would I do if they returned her to me, to my door- treat her with utmost of dignity, of course, as an equal. Maybe, we are not there, yet.

I told her, she may say hello to me, if she wishes, and, that I would enjoy seeing her, again, if she wanted. (Another out of body experience, where I could spend some time with her. I told her, I would love to see her, again.) She also revealed frustration, that now that she is naked, hairless, and gooey, I find her even more attractive, after discussing this with her, she said, "there is nothing I can do to be unattractive to you!" I was tempted to find it humorous, but she has a point.

So, after intending to release her, I began to find various things she had, "hidden" inside of me about her, and it is good to know. If I am to be with her again in some capacity- as she said she will be, watching me, perhaps- then these things are/were all good to know. It is interesting how quickly these things are happening.

I am seeing an end to my torments in this lifetime, and it is good, I am also intending to be free, myself.

I can see myself, letting her go, then one day, just feeling her near me, but healed- and positive, and exclaiming in the middle of a grocery store,

"LADYWOLF! IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU!"

And people looking at me strangely. The reptilians tell me, they are closer to returning her to me than I think. Physically. I asked for it to be free and clear, no contracts, just a healthy wolf girl, if she decides to re-acquaint herself with me. In that case I will have a large cryptid living with me, and my life will have to change to accommodate her, or we will just go to Antarctica to live there with others that look similar to her.

Or, she will move on and find peace. I am intending to heal, to hopefully gain life energy, and if so, my plans to retire wealthy are within reach, to feed a hungry wolf girl. If she came to me as she is, there is trauma there, and I told her- if all she does is eat, sleep, and f*ck, then that's fine, even if she gains weight. That is her way of dealing with it and I will honor that. Maybe, it is possible, that my karmic debt to her, is to be with her again, but in a way that makes up for her treatment, previously. I would do what I could to meet her there, and give her a good life. Yes, it would seem like I am, "Whipped.", however, I cannot help how I feel about her, nor would I want that to change. However, I must reinitiate the intention to set her free.

She, accused me of not letting her go by looking up furry porn (Usually always have a tab open with it) and I had to tell her, there are other wolf peoples I am connected to, so it is not just her.

I am also seeing a return to me, of my authority, my sovereignty, and a different, more positive life trajectory- less needful reliance on sexy wolf people, or animal people at all. The trajectory seems to be taking me to a more positive destination naturally.

Also somewhat confusing to me, Ladywolf tells me, why would she want to be with me, I am a different guy than she was attached to. Yes, that's true. And, a good point. Well, the place is open, if she wishes to say hello again. Or, she may simply find peace and have a long, long sleep. But, I feel like this is the proper course of action.

(She wants me to write a story about us being reunited. I need sleep, but I will try to honor this for her, but she wants it RIGHT NOW, I think she is feeling the connection close, or change, and she wants me to give her a story to help her reattach to me, if that is her decision. It is possible we will both, drift apart and start new lives, but, she has a point, I would be wrong not to leave a place for her. I am morally, and ethically obligated- and, weirdly, the open door for her, is what I wanted all along. I was, "fighting destiny" this whole time.

Why would I, want a big, cranky, overweight wolf girl in my life- because I love her.

I also floated the idea that, we could change our origin story, "We met on a vacation and fell in love." "She is my soulmate, and I wouldn't change a thing." and just go with that. If that happens.

Strangely, in the vision, she was smaller, and had her fur about her. I think she had a different body. And, she eyed me sort of sideways, but still wanted to be close to me. She, "found" me (not in a bad way. In a good way.) This also opens an entirely new idea to her transforming, not just physically, in a way, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Like an inner transformation. The vision of her, renewed and finding me, was probably the first positive vision I had of her, that it felt like she agreed is possible (She agrees with it, it may even have come from her.)

So, this is positive. I am curious to see what happens, but I feel like I am reclaiming my individuality, too. (leaving the OS?)

Alright, second wind:




~



"Yeah, we have another runner."

"Another one? Are you serious." I scoffed. What the fuck? Two in one week? This was likely a bad sign. My anger rose up in me, what did this mean?

I sighed through my nose, and opened the tablet computer.

"Wolfling, I think." "Alright, send me the location."

The coordinates scrolled through my computer, and then appeared in the console of my overland vehicle.

For a moment, I sat back in my chair, and began questioning ever coming to live in Antarctica. It was amazing, but eventually- my job just got old. I knew, I was doing the right thing, helping bring balance to the animal folk, but the monotony, and same-old-problems was starting to make me regret it.

And now, another one.

I Started the vehicle, and made the journey tot he mountain range, in the caucuses.

It took me to a colony of animal folk- mostly wolf, some reptilians, when a shorter wolf woman greeted me. I shook her hand, and began bringing up the tablet information.

"We got another one." She said with an ears-back forced smile.

"Sorry, don't really have too much other information."

"It's okay, uh, where is she?"

The woman pointed to a medium height female, whos yellow eyes looked around- until she saw me.

I must have cast her a look, because she began to lower her head, and move it to the side, while not moving her body- and maintaining eye contact.

"Hello, uh, DCIS, miss. We, uh, need to take you in for orientation and acclimation... Ladywolf?"

Her nose twitched- and suddenly, my heart opened wide.

"Ah-ah-ah are you Ladywolf?"

A quick nod from her head, her eyes intensely surveying me.

A snort of her nose, when she spoke.

"That's not my name."

"From... Before?" I asked, a flood of memories returning to me- not all good- but my heart- it sensed nothing adverse in her.

Cautious... Yes. And nobody could blame her for that at all.

"Dave?"

I nodded, my body experience a number of strange, conflicting emotions. When I nodded, her body relaxed, though her eyes, told me- she was definitely a bit tense, still.

Again- nobody could blame her for it.

"Is..." She began to say, when she looked down, and then closed her eyes with a sigh.

"I uh..."

She said stuttering, when her cheek fur bunched up in a blush.

"I don't suppose you feel the same way you used to." This time, she broke eye contact, and I felt an air of fear wash over her.

"I... Made you a promise, to keep that door open, if you ever... Decided to come back." She looked far off, towards the mountains, and I could feel her feet, want to start running for them.

"Is that promise still good?"

"Always." I said, softly, taking a step towards her, when her muzzle dipped, again.

"Are you the same man, as before?" Her intense yellow eyes, locked onto mine, and held me in a deep canine trance.

"Uh... It depends... When?"

She blinked, my question was valid.

"I don't want to be hit any more."

"I will never lay a hand on you in anger, ever."

"I- want my free time."

"Of course."

"And uh, if I'm not in the mood you have to respect that."

"Absolutely."

"And I want a car."

"Done."

She looked at me, her face, flooded with emotions, as pairs of half-human eyes studied the interaction between her and I.

"Foot rubs. Every day." I smiled.

"It would be my sincere pleasure."

"And you have to make me food!"

"As much as you want." She scoffed, and folded her arms.

"What if I get fat?"

"As long as it does not affect your healthy, I respect it."

"You never would have said that, before."

"Well, I see things differently." I said, smiling, blushing, my turn to be conflicted- and resisted the desire to step towards her.

"I'm not a slave." She said, softly. I shook my head. "Never will I treat you like one. Not ever."

Eyes closed, she turned her feet to face me, and took a few steps to me, then stopped, her body rigid, jaw clenched, shivering, slightly.

I walked the rest of the way to her, and gently... Ever, ever so gently, touched her arm. She shivered, eyes still tightly closed.

"What's your name?"

"I am called Angie."

"Angie, can I take you to naturalization? Get you acquainted and registered as a citizen, and... Uh. Are you... Hungry?"

"I haven't eaten in three days."

"I have- I have a sandwich in the truck." I said, pointing to the overland vehicle, which she eyed with some suspicion.

"Dave I'm scared."

She looked into my eyes, recalling the trauma we caused one another, across multiple lifetimes.

Gently, I touched the tip of my thumb, to her chin, and smiled- not wanting to reignite her fears of me becoming a tyrant, again.

"You never have to belong to anybody, again."

"What if..."

"Unless you want, but nobody will ever own you again. Especially me."

"What about, uh, if I-"

"Will you come with me? We can talk more in the vehicle." I said, reaching out, and softly, touching her soft, warm hand, then looking up, into her eyes.

This time, I could see the tears in them.

"May I... Hug you?" I asked, the words choking up in my throat. She nodded, tensing up, when I gently took her soft, warm body, and gently, embraced her, hesitating for a moment, before bringing love into my heart, for her to take from, if she desired.

"Do you like me?" She whispered in my ear.

I withdrew, gently, to look into her eyes.

"Yes." i said, with a genuine nod, and another, touch of her chin. She blinked, through her tears...

"I need sex."

I chuckled, and she grinned through the tears.

"That. Can be arranged." I said, her smile, leading me back to the vehicle.

It took a little longer to get back to the office, a couple hours longer, in fact- when my quarry emerged from the back of the vehicle, her hair a mess, naked.

She plopped down onto the chair next to me, but not before flicking her long, soft tail out of the way.

She sighed, leaning against me, nuzzling me gently. I wrapped an arm around her, and took in her wolfish scent- her neck smelled as amazing as I had ever hoped it would.

"I wanna get married." She said, sleepily.

"I've been waiting for you." I said, softly.

"I didn't know... If it changed I just... Listened to my heart. It took a while to... Remember who I am."

"I figured." I said, caressing her soft fur with my fingertips. She smiled, eyes closed, and sighed, clinging to my arm.

"Happily ever after?" She said with a sudden yawn.

I ignored the flash and glint of sharp, long, white teeth, and kissed her cheek.

"Happily ever after."

[tundrawolf]

Arriving at the office, she began to shiver.

"Are you cold?" I asked, turning on the heater.

"Something like that." She said, her ears falling back, her heart- still conflicted with fears, and her eyes- studying my intensely.

I gathered a blanket from the bed in the back, and gently draped it around her shivering body, then with a tenderness I could sense she needed to feel- gathered her into my arms. I felt her body, relax, as she melted into mine.

"I'm scared."

"It's natural." I whispered, my mind going back to the sexual bonding we shared in that village, the intoxicating scent of our bodies, still thick in the air.

How would I explain it? We obviously mated, there was no washing that off- a strict violation of multiple laws- "Yes, I met the love of my life from three lifetimes ago, she was once my sex slave, now we're together again, and yes- we made passionate love in the back of my vehicle."

Yeah- that would go over well. Even though this was the enchanted land of Eden, there were still rules.

"That's nice, you're fired." And, they would press the wolf girl for her take on it, to decide to punish me even further.

"You're scared, too." She whispered, a lump of soft fur, in my arms. "A, uh, little. But, for different reasons."

"Scared they'll fire you?" She asked, sensing my thoughts, and looking into my eyes.

"Because we had sex? That's stupid. I needed dick. I needed YOUR dick."

I could sense she was tempted to go back to the bed and pick up where we left off, which would erase all and every doubt.

There was a clause, that certain... Sexual things could be permitted, if it was a medical emergency, such as a heavy heat that affected some of the folks there- but not with my body, or they would end up calling us every time they were horny.

"And- it doesn't matter."

"If you lose your job?" She asked, ears falling back.

"You're the reason I'm here. You are what matters. Not, this." I said, gesturing at the office, for the job I was starting to hate- but that brought her right back to me.

She lifted her muzzle, and kissed me, in full view- and I did not resist. I closed my eyes, and felt her cautious- but electric tongue, explore the lonely cave of my mouth, filling it, and me- with a warmth that sent chills through my body, and toes.

Fuck it.

I had found her.

"One day at a time." She whispered, with a blush, and a smile, her eyes, those same eyes I had seen, and fallen so deeply in love for, glowing, sparkling under the afternoon sun.

~

"Yeah, that's not a medical emergency." Beonca, a vixen-human hybrid said, looking at me, from under her eyes.

"I think I have to fire you." I scoffed.

"That's fine." I said, as Angie looked around, nervously. "We'll take her from here."

"No. You won't."

Beonca glared at me, that fiery passion of her people, bubbling up into that heart of hers.

"And... Why not? Is she sick?"

"She's my wife." Beonca's eyes went wide.

"Your... Wife? You mean you've been married this entire time? You are so full of fucking secrets Dave, what the fuck?"

I chuckled.

"As a favor to me, can you expedite her naturalization? I'd like to take her home."

"And. She's gonna stay in quarantine... In your home? Dave..."

"And in my bedroom, and in my kitchen, and in my living room." Beoncas nose twitched, and for a moment, I felt her grapple with it.

"Fine. But you're still fired. AND! I want all the paperwork and files for her done properly. Just because you're canned- doesn't mean you can half ass your last assignment!"

"It will be the most thorough report you have ever read." I said, gently taking her hand, and kissing her knuckles.

"Oh you, stop it!" She said, pulling her hand back with a blush.

Her nose twitched as she blasted air out of her nostrils, scenting the air, then scoffing when she smelled the scent of our mating.

~

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, Angie, who clung to me almost painfully, as I pulled up to my home.

I-I got you fired from your job."

"I only took it, to keep myself occupied. I have money."

"Enough money?" She said with a blush, as her stomach growled. "Enough for fifty lifetimes of lavish living."

"Enough... TO feed a hungry wolf girl?" I smiled, and chuckled- I felt her feminine aura begin to trust me.

"For the rest of our lives." I whispered, and pressed my lips to hers.

"I'm tired and hungry."

"I have food, and a bed." I said, my voice calm, and gentle. She closed her eyes, and let her head, rest in my lap.

Soon, she began to snore, as I softly caressed her hair, her thick black lips, sort of, melting from my tender touch.

"Ah yehmmmonimom. GRRR!" She growled, her body tensing up, when her jaws snapped open and shut- and she shot up from my lap, looking around, worried.

"It's okay, you're safe." She looked at me, and for a moment- she saw the old me, the anger flooding her once soft yellow eyes. She stared at me for a moment, hatefully- but I summoned only gentleness for her. Shivering, she glared at me, resting her head, once again, in my lap.

"Angie..."

"Fuck off."

I chuckled, trying not to laugh. She scoffed through her nose.

It was going to be an adjustment.

"Can I uh, make you something to eat?"

"I'm not coming inside."

"That's okay. You can stay in here. Take as long as you like." She glared at me.

"I'm.... not going to force you." I said, still caressing her scalp, which began to make her eyes weary.

"Rub my feet?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She said, and sort of, fell out of the passenger side door.

She stood, at the doorway, her body, rigid, her ears back, and a look of agony on her face.

"I don't want to do this."

"Do you wanna... Go back to the van? You can live in it, if you want. Hell, I'll even sign it over to you."

"It looks expensive. You'd give it to me?"

"It costs more than a supercar- I made it with my own hands."

"And you'd give this to me." She said, gesturing to it.

"Just like that."

"Just like that." I said back, softly, and took her hand as she looked away, her ears, folding back.

"I can have it."

"It's yours. If you want I can call my notary and do the paperwork right now."

"Why. Why are you being this nice?" She said, tensing up.

"How- how did you expect me to act?"

"Like. You'd make me suck your dick or something for it. And, hurt me somehow."

I looked away, my turn to feel my eyes burn, and tears come.

"Why are you crying."

"The way I used to treat you." I said, wiping my tears, but my heart- wrenching in my chest.

"I'm so sorry." I said, unable to look at her.

"If you let me paint it pink, I will... Consider sucking your dick." I chuckled. "That's not necessary- but you may do anything you wish with it."

"Does it... Mean nothing to you?" She asked, eying the door to my home.

"It means... Everything to me. You just mean more."

"God damn it." Angie whispered under her breath.

"Fine. I'll suck your dick. But you have to make me something to eat. Fuck, what is that?" She asked, pointing to the passenger side winch.

"On the side? For what?"

"If it tips over." Her eyes sparkled under the afternoon sun.

"Angie..."

Her eyes, puffed with tears, as she attempted to remain stoic.

"It'll take time."

"It's only been three lifetimes already. I figure... It will take time to adjust."

"I'm asking nothing of you. But, maybe, to give me a chance."

"I'm standing here, aren't I? I'm also starting to think you don't want that blowjob."

I was tempted to drop my pants in my driveway, but I grabbed her, and pulled her into my home after the door opened, after sensing me.

"Wow." She said, eying the automatic door as I picked her up, and carried her into my bedroom.

~

"This is ultra princess nine thousand, calling big wolfy lover." She said, talking to me through the overland vehicles on board HAM radio.

"Ultra princess nine thousand, this is big wolfy lover, reading you loud and clear. How are those... paws of yours?"

"Fucking great, but they need more love."

I grinned. We were almost to our destination- the crystal pools of Gladmoor, which gave off an irridescence that was nowhere else on this planet. She didn't know it, but I paid to have it closed off to everyone but us.

"You said it was amazing. So... where is everyone?"

"I paid them to fuck off." She scoffed, and grinned, but the realm smiles, were in her yellow eyes.

"It's all ours." I said, taking her soft hands in mine, and looking into her beautiful eyes.

"Your eyes are like... Enchanted oceans of yellow diamonds-"

"Oh, stop." She said, grinning.

"You're just trying to get in my pants."

"Under your tail, too." She grinned, a toothy, seductive grin.

She pushed a hand down my pants, and walked with me to the visitor center, where the guide was waiting.

We spent an enchanted week there, reeking of wet, nasty sex, and not giving a single fuck about it at all. Hell, she just stopped wearing pants altogether, and I wasn't complaining.

In the moments that I held her hands, under the waterfalls, her eyes, dealing with more pain from the past, I felt her- a wall, in fact- fall down, as she took a courageous step towards me.

"Am I yours?"

"Do... You wish to be?"

"Not like... A slave. I... Want to be your wolf girl." She said with a sheepish grin.

"Then you are my wolf girl." She smiled, closing her eyes, and fell into my arms.

"Dave?"

"Yes, Ultra princess nine thousand?" She chuckled, turning in my arms, to see the enchanted mist, swirl in the air around us.

"Will it be like this? You know. Forever?"

"If I have anything to say about it, yes."

She scoffed.

"Huh."

I felt her tail push out against my crotch, and when she bent over, I took her, under the waterfalls.

~

Eventually, we agreed we did not need to get married- but, we quietly got married in a tribal ceremony under a shaman, who understood that, our union was one that went beyond time.

We had fights... Times that tested my patience, and my resolve- and seemed to set us back- but I resolved to love her- even if it did not look, or feel like love, at times.

Eventually, she always came back to me- and I would always be there, waiting for her.

And, also eventually- she stopped leaving. The look in her eyes, when she resolved to trust me, the final barrier to her heart- fell down when she had gone for weeks, and smelled like another man entirely.

She went into the house and shut the door, went to our room, and wept.

"I made enchiladas. With the onions you like."

"Fuck you, how could you?"

"How could I, what?"

Her eyes were filled with messy, messy tears, and I sat next to her.

"You should divorce me! I let a guy fuck me!"

"I never stopped loving you, Angie."

"What would it take, for you to stop loving me." She said, coldly.

"I don't even want to know. You needed space."

She wept bitterly into her hands, as I gentle, gathered her into my body, and caressed her back.

"You promise you'll never leave me?" She said, in my arms.

"I promise." I said, softly, kissing her forehead, as she looked up, into my eyes.

"I feel so ashamed."

"There is no shame here, from me. Not one bit."

"He- he- he..."

"Did he hurt you? Do you want me to cut him in half?"

She shook her head, a fear coming to her eyes.

"Because I will."

"No it's okay please don't do that."

"As you wish." I whispered, looking into her eyes.

"I ever tell you, why I like wolf women so much?"

"Our tails?"

"Your heart."

"Well. And your tails." She chuckled in my arms, but I could tell, she was wounded.

"Hold me." She whispered- she wanted sex, she knew I wanted it- but it was not time.

I kissed her- his breath still on her tongue- and other things, but id did not bother me.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"You're not even mad??!"

"Do you want me to kill him?"

"NO!"

"Just. Fucking hold me!"

I gathered the rigid, angry wolf girl into my arms, and smelled her neck. The scent was off, and I knew why- but I just resolved to love her regardless.

"It's not fair, you should be mad."

"I'm... Hurt."

"Jealous?"

"You are the woman of my dreams, that I waited three lifetimes for. Yes, I am jealous. But mad? No. You did what you thought was right. I cannot fault you for that."

"I was trying to make you mad!"

"And you hurt me, instead."

"Fuck."

"God damn it." She whispered under her breath, with a soft sigh.

"I feel terrible."

"Shhh. The next thing I want to come out of your mouth is a big, fat enchilada."

"That sounds so good. Did you just shush me?"

I chuckled, behind her.

"And... Out of my mouth? not in? What the fuck?"

"I have something else that can go in there."

"PFFFT."

Softly, I traced my fingers down her thighs, and down her long, soft legs.

"You are so beautiful." I whispered, into her ear, as she blushed.

"Give me a day." She said, looking at me with a gentle, submissive face.

"Of course. May I get your food, my lady?"

"Sure." she said, as I left her in my bedroom, to bring her the entire plate of enchiladas.

"I would suck a dick for these."

I chuckled.

"Yeah?"

She froze, forgetting her ask.

"M-Maybe I don't need a whole day. Like, fifteen minutes. Lemme eat then you can straighten me out. Deal?"

I nodded.

"Deal."

She nodded, and went to work devouring the food.

I made love to her on our balcony, overlooking a vast range of mountains. We collapsed into each others arms, when she played with my hair.

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna move. Away from the city. Like, away away."

"How far is, 'away'?"

"Like. A million miles."

"Uhhh. Well, I do have property in Alaska."

"Too cold." She said, falling asleep in my arms.

"Yeah, it is. Uh, Montana?"

"Too many nukes."

I chuckled, taking in the scent of her body- she was beginning to smell like me, again. It made me happier than I carted to admit.

"Like... The Ozarks? It's beautiful there."

"Duh duh duh duh duh duh duhhhh..." She said, humming the "Dueling banjos" song.

I chuckled, taking in her incredible softness.

I bent down, and softly, kissed her, which made her lips curl up, in a smile.

"I love you." I whispered, gently into her ear.

"Uh huh." She said, smacking her lips as she got comfortable in my arms.

Softly, slowly, deliberately, I nuzzled her neck with my nose, and raking my soft lips in her fur.

I caressed her scalp the way she liked, that put her into a deep sleep, laying, naked on our balcony, under the setting afternoon sun.

[tundrawolf]

I did a vlog, and some voice message thing to my friend.

I rehashed these things.

While I am still connected, to the wolf girl, I began to think, about what our life would look like, if she returned to me (or never left.)

She responded VERY well to oral sex, each morning, spreading her legs and getting deep in her pussy, every single morning as soon as the sun came up- she was really into that, even more than foot rubs, but also, foot rubs.

I would LOVE to do that. Every morning. Start the day off right with my wolf girl. Then, making her breakfast, and massaging her feet while she eats. I absolutely, resonated with her in this, rolling over, spreading those powerful legs, and diving deep and making my girl moan and squirm. Every. Single. Morning.

(As I said you should not say, "Eat her out" because to predators it literally means taking a bite of her vulva with your teeth, which would be horrible. "Lick her pussy" is acceptable, or, "tonguing" her, and learning what makes her wet. Women respond well to this, and so do wolf girls!)







Well, detaching from her, is directly proportional with my own healing.

I had a thought... The moment I fully release her- I am confident, that is when I will gain her.

I know Paul has been working on me for several years now, to detach from her and pursue my own healing, well now I am doing it.

I also began to realize, what alcohol withdrawals do, it is literally your organs shutting down, then coming back. It is trauma, that produces serotonin, but also, it feels like death- because it is.

I also see, how my personal trajectory has moved, from, "Going towards hell", to taking a different trajectory.

I do not hold it against the wolf girl, and as Paul says, to forgive them, and, the more I uncover of how I made the poor girl feel in a past life, she deserves to be empathized with fully. If I am to be with here, and amiable, then this is the way. Grant her her freedom. I do have empathy for her, and made sure to tell her- I am not abandoning her, only, granting her her liberty.

A somewhat tragic thought was, that she is going to "feel" abandoned- when in reality- I am all that she has.

Even if she was having a romantic connection with one of the reptilians, I was asked, as I was speaking to her, "Do you think she means to him what she means to you?"

I had to admit: no.

It is possible, she asked to have her body terminated, as she was unwilling to ever be mine again. That is a possibility. I have to respect her wishes.

(If that is what happened.)

It is possible. During the event at the wolf sanctuary, I felt inhuman hatred, if that was her, she may need another incarnation, outside of a body that has that anger stored in it.

It is possible, this life is a lesson. not, damnation. It is possible, she wanted it to be damnation. I fell, "Into her hands". And, she was PISSED.

The memories that are coming back, are fairly tragic, but they piece in perfectly with the guy I used to be (unaware)

So, there is no blame in my heart for her, and why I caution people NOT TO JUDGE HER.


Believe it or not, she is actually the good guy in this story.


I also, wish her well, with her journey.

She mentioned she may come to me as a human. I think she knows I prefer my women, to be wolf shaped, but. Well, if that is what it takes.

I think she prefers to be a wolf girl too, but might not have that option, unless my circumstances change. I would welcome her, but damn, I want her to have a tail lol. I love the way wolf people smell, and their sweat tastes. It just feels like home.

She appeared to also, have grey skin in the vision, so a combination of white, and black skin.




Things are, looking up, and it seems as if my journey is taking another turn, but a positive one. I also feel, energy beginning to develop, or, at least, a cessation of my life energy being drained, as I am choosing myself.

I enjoyed feeling, it coming from the same origin as the wolf girl, to keep the door open for her. It was ethical. And, she seemed to agree.

Also with the animal people, I am experiencing more sobering up. However, as I am finding out, this is a necessary step to right relationship with them. To return to them, but with a healthy view of them.

Boring, in a way, but necessary.



And yes, I would make it a point every morning, to burying my tongue as deep in her as I could get. Starting it off right. There is something about oral contact with a womans' genitals that really connects her to me. Commit myself to her.

Well, that seems to be all I have for now.

[tundrawolf]

Another thought occurred to me.

If, I am granting her her freedom, then- she is capable of, hunting me, yes.

I could come face to face with her.

Another dynamic was revealed, when she attacked me, she was giving up on me, and, possibly, even herself (Her last hurrah.)

Well, the idea of a six hundred pound wolf girl, stalking and then pouncing on me and tearing my throat out, well.

And, that is within her.

However, I also began to understand, that I did feel from a number of the concerned wolf girls, that none of them would injure me further, I believe, including, also the naked wolf girl I met in the OBE.

Spooky, but it does not deter me.

Also, by "law", her attack of me was a, "Severe violation", but I do not seek her punishment.

It is possible I am giving her consciousness autonomy.

I believe, her heart will return her back to me. If not- I wish her well. But, the feeling that I am, "All she has" is a bit difficult. That, maybe, she chose to be terminated, and maybe could in a way regret it. This is all I can hope for. This life seems like a huge lesson, rather than a final damnation and doom, with a brutal ending. As I grow, I feel my trajectory turn positive.

Alright.

I love you, wolf girl.

[tundrawolf]

"A big, dangerous, wolf girl running around, who has attacked her creator."

Alright, well, I get it.

I did say I would take responsibility for her.

The reptilians may be pushing the idea, they terminated her body, to "keep me safe" which goes against my experience with them being very cruel and violent. (Although they do tell me, it is hard to argue with their results!)

She's big and horny, she would probably fall in with a group of male wolf people. I remember making her horny, and that is more of a drive to her than feeding her belly.

If, she arrived at my doorstep, even if she was growing, I would invite her in and ask her if she was hungry.

She may joke and say, "Yes, I am hungry for human." or something, but I would not let it get to me.

I would, invite her to lay on my bed, I would give her blankets, and cook for her. Eventually, my hope would be, I would win her heart. It would be, scary, but that is part of this connection I have with her.

Alright. Winning her heart, organically.

Maybe, at some point, though she is growly, she would let me, separate those thick legs of hers, and give her the "Sex kiss". It is hard to be growly when I am giving her an orgasm.

It would be intense, however.

Finding out, what food she likes, and preparing it for her, lovingly. She may choose to run around outside, eating forest things and perhaps masturbating. I would, go outside to be with her, if she would be okay with it. She may find me (and my penis) useful.

If she wished, I would also give her what I failed to give her before, an education. She would be a well rounded wolf girl.

She is, essentially an immortal girl, so, there is a lot of potential, and I can see where, she finally, relaxes, and lets me in.

God, she is beautiful. I cannot, resist admiring how powerfully she is built. Magnificently. I would accept her, even naked, and growly.

That is part of granting her, her liberty. Her freedom. She may do as she wishes. "She may be a lot angrier than you think" - perhaps.

Perhaps she is. However, one thing I am aware of is, if one is brave there is a reward for that. If one acts out of fear, there is punishment.

I am confident, my gentle heart, would reach her. Even if she is growly. Maybe she is hangry and needs a good set of cheese and onion enchiladas, a beer, some cunnilingus, and a good full body massage. (If she would allow it.)