Alcohol reset, seeing deficiencies in positivity

[tundrawolf]

I am starting to see more clearing of the way of the event at the wolf sanctuary where I surrendered my authority to an adverse group, that may be using it to harvest life force energy from me.

This is a good thing, as previous I had not been able to see these things

I have been negative, for so long, that it has become "who I am"- so reversing this, seems to take effort

some of the adverse groups- seem to be wanting to be friends with me, however I am not so fast to trust, if they are genuine, they will have to earn it, especially given what I have had to endure and experience

In fact, much of the negativity seems to be programs that are running within me, a group weho set this up, knows that the best tricks are the ones you play on yourself

I drank a lot of alcohol, and a lot of caffeinated beverages, as usual I regret not getting gatorade, for some reason gatorade just works very well, better than any other electrolyte beverage

while drinking, I had memories, of a person who looks exactly like me, with a very dark black space craft, but it is a binary craft, and it has destroyed worlds- the man seemed to have anger as his center, and I think he is feared- and, he seems to have come to Earth, but perhaps not to destroy it, perhaps he met a nice girl here, she may or may not be part wolf, so he decided to park his machine and just live here

however, his ship is very, very old, however, the further bac in time you go, beings knew more than we seem to know now, and the ship uses technology that ceased to exist for some time, it is possible that this technology is what was used to wipe out entire worlds, hence covering up knowledge of it

it is possible, from this person stems some of my anger issues and genocidal fantasies,

also, the ship uses technology that cannot exist any more, so it is the last of its kind, there will never be anything like it, even fi one were to study it, it would be pointless

conventional weaponry cannot harm it

I asked the man, if it has any weaknesses, he says he is not aware of it having any at all

it cannot be scanned or "seen" by conventional technology

shooting at it would be like, trying to destroy a battleship with a super soaker toy

he says, that eventually its technology will cease to operate, and the ship will just, hover and be essentially a large, complicated, paperweight

it can also bend space and time to travel vast distances instantly, there are very few places it cannot go, as this is true, the man has been to some, "edge of the universe" areas, it is possible some spirits have attached to him, he seems to have a one track mind

well, about my personal life, it seems as if the trauma has taken my energy. I am unwilling, and mostly unabe to continue on

i spoke to a woman at the dog park, about this issue, she asked me, "do you think you would gain more energy, after turning away from the path you have been on?"

i told her I did not know. All I can do is take it day by day

I see a big shift coming for me, to positivity, away from self hatred, Paul has been right about a lot of what he has told me

I guess, time will tell

at some point, I will stand up, remove my authority from these groups, and re claim my existence- heal, and move on

it will be like flipping a switch, however I see it takes time to change my trajectory

again, i want to thank Paul for everything, and for being patient