Some more things,

[tundrawolf]

I sat up, as I was sobering up from a few days long drinking binge, mixed with caffeine, and poorly cooked food.

I began to vomit, into my piss bucket, the stench of it all, overwhelming me, as my body began to convulse. I had initiated the wretching, and my body took over, hurling my bile into the piss.

Food I had eaten days ago, came out, mucous and etc, but I became aware, of a filthy bile, that was so rotten, i began to wonder- was it the contaminants in the food I had eaten?

Was it something that had been in me for some time?

I remember, years ago, throwing up in a church bathroom, the bile was green, however, as I threw it up, I began to feel that it was bile that had been in me a long time, and instantly my entire mood imporved

I am also seeing, how my natural survival instincts had been hijacked, by the event at the wolf sanctuary, that had been adversely programmed since my childhood, how they were hijacked, to "want" adverse things- that torment me

I see, this is one of the primary methods of my trauma, and suffering- how i must "go back" and correct these things as if I loed myself, (If I loved myself, as a second party, what loving thing would I do for myself? Then, do that thing for myself