Another change in trajectory.

[tundrawolf]

I am unsure of what to believe.

Due to, using the wrong word to describe a series of life changing out of body experiences, and NOT "visions", I may have gotten incorrect advice here.

I did not have a vision of a wolf girl, my consciousness was transferred to where she was living AND I MET HER. I did not realize I was making this critical mistake, until I signed up on a, "Near death experience" forum. Visions can be corrupted, manipulated, what I had with Ladywolf, was no vision. I met her, physically. I am also, maintaining a connection with her, for now- there is energy where she used to be, that reminds me of her. Maybe this is what they say when you, "Live on in someones memories." I also have the heart connection with her, and it extends deep into the canine experience. I will always have that, and the milestone. For all I know, Ladywolf could be alive, just, hiding. Paul seems to think, she is a distraction- maybe. Wherever she is, I hope she is in a better place than she was in.

Paul said he could not locate her, does that mean she has passed on? This came after letting her go to the reptilians, who may have promptly terminated her body... It was all I could do to stop them from using her to stay inside of their torture and life force sucking machine. 

now, there is another wolf girl, and the process repeats.

Well, in learning to love myself, and to intend to heal, I have discovered another shift- one of self. The idea of being whole, and healed, appeals to me.

I have probably said it many times, however, if I disconnect, and choose myself, rather than some belief in something else, actually, the whole, "I am madly in love with a group of people that are part wolf." begins to respond more positively.

The entire incident at the wolf sanctuary, seemed to generate as much horror as possible, without actually killing me. This seems to be, "Against the rules", to torture someone to death.

Part of the horror was surrendering my future to a group that hated me, and watching them take what I love from me.

Well, that thing, in part, was Ladywolf.

Granted, she was rather angry over the whole thing, only being used as some cosmic bait, without a single thought given to her will in the situation, a reason she was furious with me. She got a raw deal- but then again so did I.

So, as I intend for better things, it seems as if it could be, my destiny to actually have what I desire- which is to live with the animal people in a just and better society.

I don't know, about any peace broker tasks I have... I am unsure if I could accomplish them given the wounding I am recovering from.

It's possible, it is overblown, and that outside of this body I have nothing to worry about.

I see several things,

The death of my old self, which is long and drawn out, and uncomfortable,

The emergence of a new self

The changing of my beingness to suit the new self

So much was based on the poor, tortured wolf girl. I empathize more and more with her, strange it happens now, that she may be in some form of stasis. The reptilians seemed to be quick with their, "Getting rid of her".

SO much of this is me just, getting up and waking away.

Earlier, I just resolved to do what it took to heal me. Even if it meant going away from the animal folk.

So, we'll see where it goes.