Dreams, revelations, progress out of the OS

[tundrawolf]

I had another, vivid dream, this one, was my mother, finding me vulnerable, with anger (hatred) in her heart for me/my situation, began to "Charge me rent"

I, appealed to her, as in this dream, my van, or a live-in vehicle was in my possession, and I asked, how much for "just a parking spot" she said same price!

In the dream I began to understand, that she was defaulting to her hateful and angry self (boomer generation, uncaring of their own children)

I also met a younger guy at the dog park, he said his father was a vietnam veteran, and would hold their heads under water and if they did nto fight back they would probably have been killed.. He beat them, etc, similar to me.

The guy seemed somewhat adjusted, however, you could tell there was trauma- we talked about psilocybin mushrooms

I also spoke with a Satanist looking guy (Had an upside down cross necklace, Baphomet Tshirt, his minivan was covered in anti-Christian stickers, but, also, strangely, pro Trump and pro USA stickers. normally, these 3 tribes do not converge, however, this man (Bill) seemed genuine in it.

I briefly spoke to him, but I think I was a little too intense for him, and he declined exchanging information. I did not mention the wolf girl, or the inner earth. He mentioned he wears the symbolic jewelry so that Christians will not try to "Convert" him, I told him a little of my background.

After the dream this morning, Angelwolf came into my view, or I brought her to myself, and the Draco dynamic, I see how they are trying to coerce me, using her, and trying to get in good with me, in order to use my authority, as they once did, and I am taking it all back. I see how I am removing myself from the OS, or it is being done for me, I am still, trying to effect the changes the greater me sent me here to do, while being conscious of the wolf woman, and protecting her.

She revealed to me, some more of her true heart intentions, and it was good.

I am also aware that the Draco have been allowing her to feel my heart, but not me to feel her heart- in order to keep me striving for her, but giving me no relief from her own affections to me- so she has been limited this way

Alright, well, I began to push the intent of the emotions from this vivid dream, to me, in order to complete my van- and it seemed counter productive, in order to harm the intent of th euniverse to help me, remain on this land and to have something of a future here- however it did nothing to get me to continue work on the van. I wonder if I will be allowed to finish it?

Bill, the guy in the minivan told me, he is ten years older than me, but he was not as far along on his journey and was, "Trying to find himself" which is why I wanted to exchange information but he declined.

He admitted he is living in his minivan, I told him a little about the vans i built and ma building, and he admonished me, "Finish the van you are building!"

Anyway, he struck up the conversation with me, by telling me he was jealous of my van as it was, "Bigger" than his, Dodge minivan, he also said he is a Dodge man (Mopar parts, Chevy is Delphi, Ford is Motorcraft, for "genuine" [generally better quality but more expensive parts]) well, that is okay, I have known some people who were of this type.

I am also aware, these dreams may be transmitted into my mind, from outside sources.

This realm, seems to be a parallel realm, where the tint is very yellow, warm and bright, as if this realm is closer to their sun, or their sun burns differently.

However, the dream may have been intended as cathartic, as my heart feels more relaxed over it.

I am also, learning to just, not give a fuck any more, about anything relating ot my life here. Angelwolf aside, and even her, in some ways, money fears, the future of the planet- I am giving it all up, all of the worries. My watch says, "One day at a time!" are the Germans covertly chiding me for my drinking? I only drank a little beer last night, and did not get blotto as I usually do. I much prefer beer to hard liquor. Wine is usually not enough to do the trick, unless it is Costco boxed wine, which it is time to get more dog food there, so it may be time to get another box of costco wine

Another day is happening, apparently, and I am removing myself from the OS

Angelwolf isn't just attractive to me, she means more to me than I can put into words. I am hoping for a positive outcome, and to focus my energy in that realm

"Do my job and get done" seems to be a theme.

Also, the motive and enegry surrounding the van I am building, is changing daily, it seems, as I heal, and withdraw from the OS. It turns out, if you enter into it willingly even while tricked, you can just remove yourself from it, but you do end up changing, and it takes energy to get out. I have been mover anger and hatred energy against the OS, to use against it, however it seems as if the OS does nto want to invest in fighting me, as I am coming prepared, to do battle against it, perhaps the OS is lacking energy, as I once was

[tundrawolf]

Detaching from the OS is revealing something.

As I detach from my attachments, such as, Angelwolf, and her group and their connection with me, on which I used to rely, I am seeing, that, I am better served, finding meaning and purpose within myself.

For example, if I find myself in Eden, and my value and worth stems from the Wolfen people, then I am essentially a slave to them for my value- even if they are benevolent.

So, I must find meaning in myself, as Stewart said, to know myself, I am only just beginning it seems

However, I feel this si an important and vital step in my progress of getting free.