Am I hurting, thsoe I love?
Jul 27, 2024 6:45:54 GMT 9.5
Post by tundrawolf on Jul 27, 2024 6:45:54 GMT 9.5
Interesting, so a few years ago, I was prompted to "Stop praying for people I care about", because I was inadvertently sending, "Adverse energy" to them, and harming them, when I wished for them to be blessed/helped.
I took it seriously.
Now, I am seeing, a similar dynamic, with Angel, the wolfess... A woman whom I care deeply for.
Regardless of her feelings towards me, I question fi I am actually harming her- the answer is, in some ways- yes!
What is this from?
Self hatred.
How do I fix it?
I seem to have found myself in a manner of a mess, caught up in a sort of twisted dynamic that was "Spring" on me at a wolf sanctuary in California, in the high desert, perhaps a tunnel to the underworld, there, as I have seen, the faces of wolves, turn into, "Angry demons" as if the wolfs facial skin was pulled over another creature, with malevolent and hateful energy in the air between us, while I was in the pen with the wolf (The wolf that saved my life, actually. Was he, mimicking Angelwolf, when she was furious with me? Perhaps she is still furious, but distant, now that I know of her existence. She seemed to feel I have power over her and was somewhat afraid of me, then)
Interesting to me,
Self hatred.
How do I fix it?
I seem to have found myself in a manner of a mess, caught up in a sort of twisted dynamic that was "Spring" on me at a wolf sanctuary in California, in the high desert, perhaps a tunnel to the underworld, there, as I have seen, the faces of wolves, turn into, "Angry demons" as if the wolfs facial skin was pulled over another creature, with malevolent and hateful energy in the air between us, while I was in the pen with the wolf (The wolf that saved my life, actually. Was he, mimicking Angelwolf, when she was furious with me? Perhaps she is still furious, but distant, now that I know of her existence. She seemed to feel I have power over her and was somewhat afraid of me, then)
Interesting to me,
I am more concerned with the health and well being of Angelwolf, than myself- no doubt a symptom of the self hatred I was ingrained with- the self hatred a symptom of an adverse dynamic within me? This life punishment that I was unable to endure, otherwise?
I am trying to reframe the idea that, this suffering is necessary to escape the dynamic I willingly went into, those years ago during the event at the wolf sanctuary
I am trying to reframe the idea that, this suffering is necessary to escape the dynamic I willingly went into, those years ago during the event at the wolf sanctuary