I am in the wrong mode.

[tundrawolf]

People can have different modes in life depending on their circumstances and programming.

Someone in an adverse situation may have a victim mode, and approach life as a victim.

My victim mode,

Affects every aspect of my life

*obsessed with defending self with lethal force

*everything has to be made for war

*money relationship is poor/scarcity and trauma/fear based

*sexuality is based off of scarcity and immaturity

*even my relationship with Angelwolf is left in lack and maladjustment

After the recent maturity and knowledge and right relationship downloads, I am now seeing my very approach to life on this planet (and in it) are based off of a crisis mode, lack, trauma, and the springboard of victim-survival (no prosperity or right relationship) modes.

This is interesting and likely a good explanation on why I struggle so much in this life that feels like it is needless.

I also see, how I am failing Angelwolf, in more real ways by not relating to her properly, and basing my connection and relationship with her, as a horny, traumatized little boy (Lacking depth, empathy, etc.)

I view this as positive, however, as I am able to go backwards and heal myself, in order to push forwards in more positive foundations and relationship with self and environment/relationships

[paul]

Good!