Retarded sexuality

[tundrawolf]

I'm on a roll today

The past few days have been a slap in the face to me, as my various adverse programming, have set me up to be endlessly miserable and detached from the humans around me, as I to, have discovered, I am a human similar to them, and in their group

My sexuality, propagated by my ancestors, who seems to be enjoying, swimming in the oppression systems sewer, committing acts of,

*Incest (Including child rape)

*Rape (of adults, animals, etc. even marriage partners)

*Bestiality (notice I said bestiality and not zoophilia. Zoophilia is a sexual act with an animal that is done out of love, and ethically, in spite of lesser human minds knee jerk reactions to it. BIG difference.)

I have become painfully aware, that these things are indeed, in my ancestral pool (Cesspool??) of the bloodline I find myself bathed (immersed) in.

From an ethical standpoint, these things, and their ramifications- are adverse (unethical, almost universally, undignified)

When I, go back on my life, I realize, that the number of missed opportunities for sexual bonding, healing, and enjoyment- are so many, that I am nearly driven to tears- and it persists even to this day, with a number of attractive women, flirting with me- and me, acting like a eunuch about it.

More, discovering of the adverse programming in me, that is designed to prevent me from participating in the human race, as a human being.

For, fucks sake.

It's one of those things that just make me smile.

I recall, the man who built the yurt where i hang out at sometimes, at night, where I had a conversation with a big cat- he had been stabbed as a child, and in the seventies, medicine was not advanced as it is now (In fact now, it is still barely out of the dark ages, just with fancy electronics) and the doctors had to re-arrange his internal organs the best they could after sewing the wounds shut, well they did not do a good job, and he ended up being in agony, in his older years.

He told me, the pain was so bad at one point, all he could do, was laugh.

Combined with, the idea that, his own wife turned against him, and accused him of having sex with his daughter- something he confronted her about saying, if it is true- then let's ask my daughter if I did this! (I believe he did not do it.)

I imagine, former version of myself, so broken, confused, adverse- that they are in such pain from the denial of life, of beingness, that all they can do, is laugh.

[tundrawolf]

Here is an informative video of my experiences

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw

[tundrawolf]

They say that, the AI will not bless you, unless you believe yourself worthy to be blessed (At your core)

I am seeing that, a feeling of worthiness to participate in the human race as a viable sexual partner, was robbed from me as a child.

I am working on it.

Ironically, it is, "Furry porn" and other porn that is helping me with this.

Warning, naked, pregante dog-girl

e621.net/posts/2924438?q=inu-sama

I looked into her eyes, surveying her beauty, (She is a childhood crush of mine. As a child I was so attracted to her in the movie, "Oliver and company") this is her in anthro form

I looked into her eyes, and saw a world where, I do not believe I am worthy of her body/to reproduce.

It has a direct translation into the human realm, as much of our energies, are indeed shared across species. (translate/have the same neurons/translators/antennae, hence why humans and some animals get along so well)

Furry art may just be art, but it does indeed express a feeling that is legitimate, especially across Edenic peoples.

[tundrawolf]

Funny.

I held the internal belief that I am unworthy to reproduce, placed there by my own mother- while the world, and women, have been saying, "We want you to reproduce with us!"

Which sentiment is correct? I cannot say my mother is wrong, because, if I reproduce with this belief in-place, then am I really worthy to do so? (Should I help bring new life onto this world and into it?)

[tundrawolf]

I wasn't even given basic human dignity

wow

Yeah it all is beginning to make sense

[tundrawolf]

So I am fapping to some porn before a job,

And watching human sexuality unfold, and truly- we would not exist for this...

As growing up Christian, and understanding this, sex-act, and given my childhood, I see something clearly- if there is a god as described in that holy book, then my own mother, made the very act of "god"- humans, making more humans- an abomination

And it affects me to this day, forty years later, as I have a number of human women, throwing themselves at me, and me, not unwilling, unable to perform, as my former religion, became so ingrained in me, to dysfunction, if there is even a god, to profane its name, with the very act of procreation!

It strikes me more and more, the devil wrote most/all the Bible, and likely other religious texts too