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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 17, 2024 7:32:35 GMT 9.5
Well, some deception may be happening, by my group.
It seems as if they are attempting to divert my attention and/or deceive me.
I am unsure of the specifics, including the idea that I seem to have access to so many timelines if I move far enough, anything is possible
(Including Angelwolf being murdered by my group.)
Angelwolfs group was once part of another group who was aligned against them/the enemy
Psychological bullshit aside,
If a single hair (she is hairless. But you get it) is harmed on her body, there will be hell to pay for it.
I don't give a fuck what the justification is.
I also believe my group has begun to "help" me with healing and detachment from Angelwolfs group.
Worst case, her body is deceased. Best case, she has defected to my side (I get I'm fucking cringe. I would hope she would give me a chance.) and is waiting for me.
Middle case. She is captured and being held by my group and interrogated, etc.
Is this the realm to go to to be constantly immersed in fucking drama and bullshit?
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 17, 2024 7:38:16 GMT 9.5
In another situation, she was released and has run off to safer realms.
There is a part of her that hopes I come find her.
So is this true?
If so, where is she? What would be great is the truth.
I am trying to prepare myself
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 17, 2024 7:41:35 GMT 9.5
Psychologically speaking, Stockholm issues aside, she is technically my "first" (love. True love)
I expect her to be treated with compassion, dignity, and respect
That means her life is spared
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 17, 2024 7:56:31 GMT 9.5
It is possible my group is responsible for seeing Angelwolf in the visions in 2021.
In order to see the circumstances surrounding my adverse situation.
Did they choose to show me, we share a heart?
Why does it feel as if the reptilians were the real ones responsible for me seeing her with True (real) Eyes?
Unless someone has seen a physical object with true eyes they cannot know the profound difference between them and human eyes.
Human eyes: you may not even be seeing something that is real
True eyes: what you are seeing is real.
That's the best I can summarize it
It's possible my group has given me time to deal with the situation, and the recent "enfuckening" of the Dynamics that once bound me to the things that once gave life meaning (such as, anthros) is my group "healing" me
Okay fine. Good.
I just want to know Angelwolf is okay, and that any plans to harm her would be cancelled.
If anything, I wish to care for her (is this the papers thing?). If my group accuses me of being emotionally compromised about her, then can they really trust me to fulfill my mission?
If she wishes to go off and be rid of the entire situation, then let it be so and I will move on, with the exception of checking in on her from time to time
That's all I got for now
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 17, 2024 10:05:31 GMT 9.5
I had shower thought.
In some, stretch of space, where Angelwolf and I are a couple, I owe it to her to be the best version of myself I can be. That means, healing, detaching, and living up to my potential.
I saw a lot recently about this. It's something to hold on to at least
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 18, 2024 1:02:02 GMT 9.5
I woke up, in a decent mode, having slept well.
as I push into the situation surrounding Angelwolf, I am aware of some things:
I have allies, who wish for her to be left alone, or, placed in my "care".
She, and her people, are viewed as the enemy, and "Worth less" than my own people- I despise this sentiment
I am aware of the prejudices
If she is harmed, I will either, destroy this realm, or turn it into a lava playground fro Blackwolf Knife-fur, who is essentially invincible anyway
I will do what it takes, to become a mortal enemy of those who harm her. I do not care. Fuck you. Leave the wolf girl alone.
There are concerns, that the military can be compromised by merging hearts with the "enemy"
HOW
ABOUT
Taking responsibility for a BOTCHED MILITARY OPERATION, and SECURE YOUR OWN FUCKING TROOPS
SO that does not HAPPEN
Again?
This is a one- off situation. They can, "Erase my memory" to try and get my cooperation and skillset again, however, they are underestimating the "enemies" ability to simply tell me the truth- whereupon I will be twice as fucking furious, and ten times as dangerous.
I am giving you a choice-
Leave the wolf girl alone and do not touch her- and let us be- and I will fulfill my mission
-or-
risk losing everything, well and beyond everything you have worked so hard, and sacrificed so much for
Pretty fucking simple! Easy choice!
There is talk that harming her may even harm my heart- which is true.
If there is any mercy, compassion, or empathy with my group- they will let her be, and treat her well.
I can see, in a way, Angelwolf is like, "Kill me, euthanize me, to get rid of this guy!"
We'll see, I want to default to what she wants. They are scared I will relay any military information to her heart, which may be connected to other hearts- if they murder her, then that "Stops"- but then you LOSE ME COMPLETELY and MAKE ME YOUR ENEMY FOREVER
Any secrets, have already been revealed. It is already done. I can also, choose to not disclose things to her- on the exchange that she not be harmed whatsoever.
They have some, good points.
I also: do not care. Leave her alone. Do not harm her. Let me accomplish my mission, and then retire with her. There is no other option. Even On High wants it.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 18, 2024 1:26:49 GMT 9.5
She didn't say that.
I tested the spirits, while there is not an abundance of heart-love from Angelwolf to me, she did not say, "Euthanize me!"
I also heard, "We know how you feel about her, we're going to kill her anyway."
I was like yeah? Well face the consequences then
Except, I went back and tested the spirit, and it turns out it was nobody from my group at all!
It was an imp, a small spirit, a "Tormenting spirit"
Alright I am admonished to stay positive.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 18, 2024 1:44:08 GMT 9.5
One of the issues is, I am strategically very important to my group as I have the ability to control elemental things
I am sensing my GROUPs willingness to wipe my memory, then lie and manipulate/omit the truth from me in order to gain my help, it is possible this has been done many times, and I am only now becoming aware of it (This is possibly also why I am here, to gain control of myself so this does not happen any more)
If, Angelwolf, was captured- she was captured because I asked her to remain, if there was anything in her heart that cared for me and wanted to be with me.
So, if this is the case, this is my fault.
The karma attached to my group if they attempt to manipulate me will be great.
And, when I discover they lied to me, they will no longer be effective as a group, as I will wipe them out of existence
Or, they can leave the situation be, not mind wipe me, not manipulate me, and I can move forward, effectively
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 18, 2024 2:01:46 GMT 9.5
It is interesting to me...
So, the white wolf at the wolf sanctuary I used to live in, saved my life by giving me a reason to live...
They also killed him in front of me
For six months, six actual months, I struggled, with purchasing another Glock, and drum magazines, and milling my own, "Switch" (Hella easy to do) and going into that sanctuary, and killing everyone there, except the one kid who was on my side, when they were killing the wolf. (Said he was sick, perhaps it was true, I said, then let him die with me- the veterinarian was also an evil bastard that hated exotic animals, I have several stories about it)
to this day I do not think they know how close they all came to getting killed
Well, it seems as if this situation- Angelwolf, giving me a reason to live- and now her, possibly in danger...
I am also discovering more of myself, I am beyond ancient, ancient does not even come close if you can fathom time and existence,
If there is any way for me to stop this, -OR- to get revenge to such a degree that this realm forever regrets being this shitty to me, I will do it, and make this place an example of endless eternal cosmic horror that even makes the gods vomit when they see it, something they will never forget that will haunt them for eternity
leave my wolf girl alone
I have already shut-down a crystilline reactor that cannot be restarted, then I restarted it in my "groups" base
Then I added a 25 percent higher output
And, I added a sense of extreme anxiety and coming horror to the entire inner earth group system, as a warning, of what is to come, if my wolf girl is not left alone, I may even begin destroying them if I think they will hurt her. I am starting to get pissed, and my thirst for blood is beginning to come alive, like, I will take great glee in causing various, adverse things to happen, and will study the stars for creative ways to do them, such as allowing their bloodlines to thrive, then becoming a disease to wipe them out, slowly, so they watch their children die
leave my wolf girl alone
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 18, 2024 2:14:19 GMT 9.5
I am dragging too much negativity and anger into this
I am trying to remain positive
Not sure if being detached would be a benefit?
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 18, 2024 6:34:28 GMT 9.5
I had some heart palpitations this morning, however I took an excess of supplements, some of which were for the heart
I cooled off, and became detached.
One thought that occurred from my group, to paraphrase,
"We came in and saw your body horrifically mangled yet still conscious, partially eaten, and a very large wolfling, sort of just standing there staring at us. We did not know what to do, other than protect ourselves."
I may have failed. I should have been contacting my group and telling them not to hurt her. She was only here because I asked her to, because I believed they would understand how I feel about her.
I'm hoping she's okay.
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Post by paul on Jul 18, 2024 12:07:11 GMT 9.5
>We did not know what to do, other than protect ourselves."
Who are they kidding?
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 19, 2024 2:20:41 GMT 9.5
>We did not know what to do, other than protect ourselves." Who are they kidding?
What do you mean?
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 19, 2024 2:22:39 GMT 9.5
My group has the ability to terminate (kill) a body, and capture the soul/consciousness.
In some timelines, they may have done this to Ladywolf/Angelwolf.
The anger I felt from Angelwolf a few days ago, was probably because they captured her, and she was hoping for them to have mercy on her, except I failed to discern and comprehend and communicate with my group.
It was interesting then, to feel that, she ended up having positive feelings for me (Genuine connection)
My group is also connected to, and may originate from, the benevolent forces who are changing the trajectory of this planet.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 19, 2024 5:36:09 GMT 9.5
I am hesitant to update this, until more time has transpired.
I am seeing more things, as my detachment from certain dynamics with Angelwolf are revealing many things.
namely, that she has attachments to members of a warring tribe, and views me as an enemy/prey/has almost no respect for me, outside of my ability to suffer.
The heart connection is a known dynamic, and sort of force-bonds two living things together, with a leash, connecting tow hearts.
Angelwolf knows this.
I am also seeing myself, as a bit, yes, like a prey animal, in the company of a hungry wolf.
In whatever timelines she is alive but not feeling so well, I have instructed my Group to fucking feed the poor girl and give her any medical care she needs.
I am seeing this, fucking moronic war that the groups are fighting, I do not see the deeper reasons for it, outside of, one group wants control/power and the other wants liberty from them, but the root is weakness and insecurity, and unevolved peoples, causing trouble and strife for living things...
It irritates the hell out of me, all this needless suffering- and for what?
There is a part of me that is from a realm where none of this exists. People do not lie, cheat, steal, or harm others- I do not even believe the wildlife "eats" each other, there.
Compared to this, heart-place, this realm is a living hell, not even including the inner earth rehabilitation realms spoken of in religious texts.
So, I am accepting the wickedness, darkness, and enmity within Angelwolf for me, and my group. She was sent to fuck me up, and to control me, and to be fair, she did her job well.
However, apparently, my group also knows this, and is trying to assist me in working with her, to isolate myself from her, and to see the truth of the situation that I am in, and to heal.
However- that also does not negate, in any way, the way I do feel about her- and my merciless desire to see her treated well and properly.
If she had a, "Change of heart". I would gladly welcome her into my circle, and, obviously, if she wished to live with me, I would welcome her with open arms.
It is also possible she herself viewed this as a sort of suicide mission, to, "Take me with her".
Well, that may well be her choice if she wishes. My hope is, whatever enmity between us can be accepted fully by me, and she will see that I do truly care for her. What she does after that, is her decision.
I am feeling some gratitude from her, that I am from a benevolent group. (She is not captured by a cruel group that would torture her/treat her horribly. Such groups do exist, and it is likely, she is from one of them from what I can tell.)
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 19, 2024 5:43:29 GMT 9.5
I am sensing, black sludge from Angelwolf, anger, hatred. She is the worst possible thing for me, and the tormenter of my soul my entire life in this incarnation.
I wonder, how to reach such a woman? To see inside of her, and to heal her...
It is almost certain my, self-hatred and lack of self love issues- are shared, and resented by her- via "projection" (Hating dynamics you see in others that remind you what is inside of your self.)
Heh, she is accusing me of being "mean" to her with this. I am not trying to be! Only acknowledging these dynamics, as I see them.
My heart, desires nothing more, than to sit naked with her, or to sit with her with us both clothed, and to be compassionate, and merciful to her.
It could also be, that her sponsors, see her, through a similar lense, and acted in order to pair her with someone who would not hurt her, in spite of her behavior, who actually does love her in spite of it all, and wants to walk side by side with her, to her healing.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 19, 2024 5:52:27 GMT 9.5
"She's everything you hate, that hates you- to your very core."
Okay =)
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Post by paul on Jul 19, 2024 7:14:18 GMT 9.5
>We did not know what to do, other than protect ourselves." Who are they kidding? What do you mean?
I doubt they are being truthful.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 19, 2024 7:16:17 GMT 9.5
I connected with her, intently, in truth.
She finds it difficult to translate her mind ot mine, as her home world is one of, darkness, cruelty, tyranny.
The reason she does not respond to gentle treatment and pair bonding as humans understand it, is: She does not know how.
Dishes are dirty, a human: Washes them
Angelwolf: Smashes them on the floor and moves to eating without plates.
So, when I speak gentle things to her, she has no reference with which to respond or accept them.
It is likely, her world is a world of horror, fire, and rape. She has been treated horrifically, however, she became strong, tough, and brutal to survive it.
Pain, for her, is an expected way of life.
Interesting, I have a bad toothache, and she, or one of her angrier sponsors, keeps telling me to BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
Something also revealed to me: She does, indeed, have positive (Sponsors I like.) sponsors, who want Angelwolf, to have a kick ass life with someone who loves her (I would hope myself, but, I, too, just want to see her happy- but perhaps, not at the expense of other living things as a way of life like she is sued to.)
There are a number of high-ranking sponsors, who are keenly interested in what happens with Angelwolf, and myself, respectively. (Such as, they wonder if someone from her world in her shape can be, "Saved" [aligned with their intent])
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Post by tundrawolf on Jul 19, 2024 7:46:49 GMT 9.5
I doubt they are being truthful.
I dislike being lied to, and deception. I dislike it with some energy.
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