Post by tundrawolf on Jul 12, 2024 9:26:17 GMT 9.5
For fucks sake
As I go through my past, and re-parent myself in something that resembles a healthy dynamic, I see how nearly every significant event of my childhood was designed to fuck me up, cement me in fucked upedness, and keep me fucked up with a god damned passion.
God damn
Then, force the innocent, beautiful, wolf-girl I am attached to, to suffer in my (emotional/spiritual) torment, until she loses her shit, and tries to kill me just to get some relief in her life (from my miserable self)
I would not be surprised if I was so autistic that it's a new form of hyper-autism
Like divine astral autism
Well, I can see how, the other versions of myself, were so broken/limited/immersed in wrong thinking/etc that they needed a purge, and the best way it was determined to go about that, was to force me to confront every broken thing, by making the broken things so adverse I could not ignore them no matter what- to force me into deep adversity
I guess I am in the phase of, coming down from some booze, and confronting reality and truth, however this is one of the reasons i drink, is because it forces me to confront the difficult uncomfortable things. Previous I would avoid them and the problems would remain, or I would numb them with more alcohol.
Good news is the circumstances surrounding my spirit spouse Angelwolf is starting to make clear sense, which is a significant blessing
Post by tundrawolf on Jul 12, 2024 9:35:03 GMT 9.5
Detach, detach, detach. I am detaching from the old dynamics that anchor me to this incarnation.
It is an interesting feeling.
Weirdly- Angelwolf responds very well with heart-singing. It feels like this is good for us both.
Fear it seems is a form of shackle that keeps one from their potential
On a positive note I saw my mother, seemingly, beginning to push out of her own oppression, maybe in her old age it seems as if she is beginning to question things too.
It was a good feeling but I came away with my most recent conversation with her, but able to feel the vampiric energy I once fell helpless prey to. I embraced it however rather than falling victim to it (again)
>able to feel the vampiric energy I once fell helpless prey to
It is common for humans that are being drained of life force by adverse entities to draw life force from those around them in order to keep functional and feel better. This is usually instinctive rather than deliberate
It is good to stand above the process and control it without reaction.
For example you may like to allow your mother some energy, as long as it benefits her rather than the OS practitioners.
Breast-feeding women provide large amounts of life force to their newborn - often giving away etheric substance from the breasts as well as life force and milk
Have a look on your chest, half way up the sternum to see if you have a lump of etheric substance given by your mother.
