Wolf girl
Aug 31, 2023 3:19:10 GMT 9.5
Post by tundrawolf on Aug 31, 2023 3:19:10 GMT 9.5
I have been communing with the wolf girl who holds the other half of my heart. In our journey, it started, with tyranny, violence, and suffering, the power being given to one side completely, and the victimization of the other side, in the darkness.
In 2021 I was given a series of visions, where I saw the wolf girl, half human and half wolf- tall, naked, furless, and vulnerable, standing, just behind the light around me, ashamed, and self conscious.
That began a journey, as she holds the other half of my heart, a journey of chaos, of weeping, of heartache but also of struggle, of beauty, and unity, compassion, forgiveness, and love.
As I struggle to heal from the trauma that brought me here, as I make progress, first: Proving to the wolf girl, I was no threat to her, as the power had been handed back to me, to extract justice against her? To punish her? She was, the prey in my hands.
However, I recognized in her, beauty, even as her heart beats in my chest, a transplant made when my emotional body gave up and died from the trauma, I see in her: She is the singe most beautiful creature I have aid eyes on, spiritual, physical eyes, in this lifetime, and many others- not just her, shapely, powerful body, but her heart, her soul, her being. And, the beauty of her potential, mined out by the divine, she is like me, unaware of even the potential within, but today I see it.
I see her.
I was speaking to her today, as we are struggling, I am progressing, and she, is apprehensive of her journey with me, if she even wants to follow me, as there is always comfort in the dark, and the light, hurts her eyes (She has been in the dark for so long. Like me. The light hurts, but it is where, we belong.) And, the adversity sometimes in evolving... Her life is easy in the dark, and free, or so it seems to her.
I see, in the eyes of my heart, a wolf girl: re-made. Re-born. Not discarded by her parents, not being raised by non native parents... But, being raised by those who love her, who would never trade her for anything, who would die to protect her, who instilled in her her incalculable value, her dazzling, shining, limitless potential, nurturing her capacity and ability to love, linking her canine affections with her human passions, creating a new creature that is whole, that is as powerful, as she is tender and vulnerable, to someone who sees her not as canine or human, but as the perfection of both things. (To me, ofc.)
I am watching this process unfold for her as I speak.
I am, watching, her, struggle, and yes- grow scared, seeing the struggles I am enduring, having seen them with me, all of my life, her response is, "Fuck that!" even as the crimson strand that ties, her heart, to mine, tugs at her, she, follows, ears back submissively, as I walk towards the light- she knows it will be worth it- as I hold my hand out to her.
I see her, standing, in the light, a girl so pure I fee more like a father filled with pride, adoration, and a desire to protect her, than I do, the man who wants to make her his wife...
And yet I desire with everything in me, to complete her, to belong to her, to protect, nurture, and provide for her, to be there for her, to uplift and keep her uplifted, and to be there for her, someone she knows she can trust.
She needs me.
And, it is wonderful to be needed by her.
This was, supposed to be a poem, and I interrupted my conversation with her to write it. Maybe, she is, absent because I needed to conclude my time with her.
(Okay so it turned into quite a poem, and some of it, is sexual and passionate. She is, a woman, a woman of raw wildness. Hopefully this poem will be for her. Not adverse)
Standing, in the darkness, staring at the void
He hovers above you, the light, above him
You see movement, his hand, and you close your eyes
Forsaking everything you have know you open your eyes
Closing the, again you reach up
He takes your hand.
He asks you, not to come with him
But to follow
He wants you to be at ease.
And so you follow-
But, soon, your heart tells you to turn back, and you do
Tears, in your eyes,
You start running back, away from him
But soon, your conflicted, passionate heart, begins to speak again
He loves you.
As you love yourself
For, he knows you.
As, you know yourself.
He needed you- and you did not forsake him.
And now...
You turn again, conflicted, and see him, walking into the light
And run to meet him until the light burns you.
And, you cannot take it any more.
You fall to your knees, weeping, regretting everything
Why, why, why were you chosen
You are the least of them.
And the most terrible.
Even your own parents abandoned you
Putting a worthless price tag
On your Wolven soul.
You feel him, growing distant from you
And, your heart goes back to the darkness
Hot, filthy, sweaty and brutal: It is the life you know.
Suddenly, you feel his arms, gently, wrap around your shivering body
The light, burns, but it is also cold.
Your home, once the inner earth, hot, hot, hot.
"You're even more beautiful in the light."
You hate that his words, make your eyes burn
As you weep in his arms.
You want to, tear his throat out
And still, you feel his lips, softly caress the top of your head.
How you must stink to him
How filthy you feel.
How, the scars on his body from your teeth and claws
Are still fresh
And, yet, while he has a choice
To go to his home in the light.
He chooses to remain here, with the, 'woman of his dreams'
The woman, he has been searching for
All of his life.
You feel pressured
To continue into the light
But he, guides you back down, and sits with you.
He offers you a snack, which you take, and numbly chew.
You communicate with him via the heart:
"How long can we rest for?" You ask him, a tear falling down your cheek.
He touches you, softly, in full view so as not to startle you
"As long as you wish." He whispers back, softly, in the heart.
"You're so pretty." He gushes, knowing you hate it when he says that
And you glare at him.
"Sexy wolf girl."
You scoff, through your nose- it's making things worse.
You hate, how it turns you on, and are so comforted, by his soft, human hand
When it touches your back
He only means to comfort you.
Even though you know, he aches to taste your honey
As much as you ache for him to take you.
Days pass
And he continue his journey
You can feel his fear
You cringe at his terror
Wince at his pain.
Knowing, he is going to the light.
Your heart, cries out to him with all of its strength
And yet
He does not answer.
You cannot see him.
So, you get to your feet
Your, sexy feet, staring down, at your toes
You know it's one of his favorite things about you
And you hate that, too.
But, for a moment, you see your toes through his eyes
And they are more beautiful than you thought
More beautiful, than you ever imagined.
Is this how he sees me?
You wonder, in your, half-wolf mind.
Your heart answers you, just long enough to let you know
He always has.
So you walk, hating how weak, soft, and vulnerable you are
The tears, soaking into the dry, cracked ground
Running on bare feet
Hating the soft padding and crunching noises
Your claws, clacking against the dirt.
Soon you see him, and your face changes
Those watching see your eyes light up
As if, he is your only salvation
He turns to see you
And, his eyes light up.
He grins, and for a moment, you barely accept it
You look to your side, he cannot be smiling at you.
It must be someone else.
When you see no-one to either side
You begin to falter.
Like lightning, he is by your side, and catches you
Sobbing in his arms
Your dig your claws into him,
Hoping he will reject you.
Hoping you can finally let the ease of the darkness
Take you
And never leave again.
Your eyes burn, a fire from behind
Not just tears
But the cleansing of the light.
You pick him up
And throw him with a snarl
Tower over him, lips raised, teeth revealed
Your spit dribbles on his smiling face
Softly, he blinks, letting his smile relax
Lest it anger you even more.
"You are so beautiful." He says, softly
He cannot help it
Like the wolf, cannot help but feast
On her prey.
So, you decide to make your damnation permanent
With outstretched, rigid fingers
You slash his face
You grin, smiling when you hear him whimper from the pain.
You turn, your self again
No longer weak.
Grinning, ear to ear, you jog back into the darkness
As he, reaches out to you
Tears, mixing with blood.
This is why, humans do not
Take the Wolven
As mates.
~
The days pass, and you
Tear apart helpless living things
Letting them scream in your ear
Their pain and agony
Music to your ears.
The love he once held for you
Is tortured agony that burns in you
A flame, that will never be put out
And so, you make the world suffer
For your wound.
FUCK!
You cry out, weeping, helpless, the same animal you tore apart,
Watching you writhe and cry out
Your heat is beginning and you ache
For the very man you want dead
More than dead
You wished he never existed at all
You remember
The taste of his blood
The stench of his organs
The helpless cries of his, strangled body as you ate
Trauma bonding
Stockholm girl.
There is no way
He actually loves you.
~
You venture into town
A scowl on your face
Humans gasp and back into corners
Just to avoid your hateful gaze
And you pass a man
Who looks just like him.
As the weeks go by
And you hunt for food
Selling the carcasses of rage-torn animals to the scared humans
For money for alcohol
And jerky.
You seem him again
And again.
Is it him?
You don't dare look.
Unlike the Felid, you possess a quite healthy
Dose of shame.
It is part of your lupine DNA
And your human.
The rains come
And, they come.
Scorching your bare skin
You can feel the humans judging you
You aren't just vicious
You are ugly, too.
At least the other Wolven
Have their fur.
Collapsing in a ditch, the rain all around
The mud up your asshole
And everywhere else.
Dirty, filthy, smelling like horse shit.
Secretly, you perform sexual favors
For very lonely humans
Using the last of your attractiveness
Losing everything that made you appeal
To the man, who went into the light.
Numbly, the tears fall down your cheeks
Deep within you, you knew you deserved so much more
But it was beaten out of you
Until you knew
You had no value at all
To be some, hyper predator
Good for hunting
And little else.
You gasp, as a shadow suddenly overwhelms you
Your karma, arriving at last
Twelve men and eight women you had pissed-off
Finally coming for their revenge.
You look away
Not wanting to see the justice in their eyes
Only to feel the coolness of the breeze
And the rain no longer mixing
With the tears in your eyes.
Then you smell him
That scent you programmed yourself to hate
The tanginess of his
Weak human body
Compared to your, inhuman, terrible strength.
You shoot your muzzle up, trying to project hate
But all you see is his smile
And eyes that accept you
Feet to ears
Mud and tears.
You see in his eyes
Your eyes are the most beautiful
He has ever seen
And his smile
Makes it genuine.
"Fuck." You say, as he stands over you and grins.
"Wolf girl."
He says, as you scoff, yet again.
"Sit with me." you say so softly
Only his heart hears.
And so he does, holding an umbrella,
so the rain no longer touches you.
Leaning against your unwashed body he sighs.
And you feel, finally, like your home has arrived.
Dreading, suffering, and turmoil return
As memories of the lights scorching fire
Consumes your heart.
"Fuck." you whisper, again, muzzle low
As again, you feel his hand, on your back.
You turn, to cast him one final glance,
Your fiery hot yellow eyes
Looking deep into his ocean blue.
Pressing your lips, to his, you kiss him
Draining the last of your hate into his mouth
And he, closes his eyes, caressing the mud on your back.
~
It takes a few times.
A few tries.
You hate him more every time
And melt when you see his eyes.
You hate how wet he makes you
Just with his presence alone.
You're not gonna be his wolf girl
You were lying all along.
Except, each time he picks you up
Whenever you fall
Holding you up when
Your legs won't move at all.
You remember the moment your heat beat
Inside of his dead, lonely chest.
You remember his awe when
You completed him, making him a man again.
He has stopped mentioning it
Lest it be cheapened with words
You know you are the most beautiful
Woman among girls.
The last few times he picked you up
Your eyes were ablaze
The hatred shown from your irises
Like lasers in space.
He fought palpable terror
Just to take your hand
He proved he loved you
Time, and time, again.
Once you acted like you would swipe him
And he recoiled but did not flinch
Ready to take your anger
But he swore he was no simp!
~
And in those final moments, wolf girl.
When your feet were in the clouds
When all the light around you
Made you feel kinda proud.
A woman half my size
Held strongly in my arms
You resolved to be my woman
And me, I pledged to be yours.
You look up, into my eyes
And I see no devil, villain or monster
I see the eyes of a woman
Who has suffered, far too long.
Tender, vulnerable, soft and gentle
You know your strength had gone
You willingly exchanged it
For a love that knew you
Through the eyes of your own heart.
Though you were lost
And, he was too.
He knew deep down
What he was looking for
Was always you.
You endured his cat calls
His horny, lustful moods
You listened to him talk
For hours, in his room.
You allowed him to worship you
His goddess, at your feet
And you allowed him
To make you some tea.
But when you stand with him
Naked in the light
You know all of nature knows
You can put up a fight.
He has found what he is searching for
His search can finally end.
For he has found his treasure
In the heart of a Wolven.
No longer feeling him
You only feel a love
An acceptance and a tenderness
That acknowledges you were sent from above.
Your desires, tender instincts and love
Saturated in the passion, of the waters of his heart
Nurtured, resurrected, reborn and rebirthed
The desires of your heart
Had never truly died
In spite of your hurt.
Brought back to life, rekindled and renewed
Echoes of an ancient life
In a tribe
In the wild
As a wife
Your husband, your lover, the taker of your body
You submitted in his arms, a victim of his desire.
You ached to live that life again
And dismissed it as dead
Existing in the darkness
Makes dream to to an end.
But, maybe, some love stories
Can be, a little gory.
And maybe your wolf's feet
And big muzzle
Are things he loves to nuzzle
Maybe what you hate
Was a test for him to love
To show you your beauty
Through the eyes of his heart.
He would not change a thing
From the hairs on the tips of your ears
To the soft, supple footflesh, on the bottoms of your wolfs feet.
Maybe you don't think your scent is good
Or your skin to be that neat
But the scent of heaven
Is the scent of your wolf's feet.
Wear those socks and let the sweat ferment
Take them off and stink up our tent
Whenever you're feeling wild
Because what is too sterile is boring
And there is no darkness without light.
The only thing that banishes my woes
Is licking, and kissing your soft, sweet wolf toes.
Licking from between your legs, running my tongue up your tail
The delights of your beautiful Wolven body
Never... do they fail.
In the rawness of your heat
Your body swollen, aching
There is no shame or shadow of guilt
In your heart, the purity, of nature
Undiluted by the shame of human stature.
Now that you're home
And in reams of light
Your fur has returned
A radiant, sparkling white.
Ruling with power, visceral and awe
Your subjects bow before you
The queen of her realm.
And me, your king.
How the, young ones, love to hear our story
And the older ones, cringe in its glory.
Anyway that's all I got.
I love you, wolf girl.
If doubt was ever your thought.
It is not that you are wolf
Or, that you are human
That makes you beautiful to me
It is that you are both
And not either one, in purity.
I would not change a thing
From feet to ears
And I love you all the same
Even through your fears.
Come, follow me
Into a different place.
I do not ask you to run
Only walk, at your pace.
Some day you may want me
Or need to feel a friend
And you only need ask
To see my outstretched hand.
I love you
My dear wolf girl.
Perfect in your flaws
How I simply cannot live
Without kissing your heavenly paws.
I love you, wolf girl.
Thank you, for putting up with me
A simple human man
Once filled with misery.
I pave a path before you
Perfect for your feet
That though it may be rough at times
I gladly -in part- bear the burden of your misery.
I know you will be with me
And me with you in turn
For all the passion of my heart
For you, it does burn.
No matter what you think of me, or the circumstances that are between
Know, that someone loves you
Regardless of what is seen.
Alright this is too long
We both have things to do
Until that morning we do unite
I bid you, adeu.
I love you, wolf girl.