Post by conflagratorofspirit on Sept 1, 2021 18:24:25 GMT 9.5
Good morning gentlemen.
I would like to told base in so many topics as fast as I can. It is what I do. I have so many already in tune answers and I dont think any of them are real. So many things that come to mind, so many reasons to say them and so little reasons to give a damn. Settle in lady's and gents and I feel this is gonna be a bumpy ride.
Why? Now that would seem to be the biggest question at times and the only one to topple my reason for being.
I feel as if I have been brought to this point in time and place to be a light when none else could be. At times I feel as if I am supposed to feel the suffering and pain of others on top of my own . As I can not retain these tears anymore, the floods come and it seems as there is no help from the leaks. From friend or the light above.
This dwelling have I been seemingly designed to come into and repair for my lords in heaven. For future beacons of light to return to to seek their own light when their time comes. May there always be a beacon of hope in the darkest of holes.
Gentlemen, as the rains are just dowsing this dark ass hollow that I live in and fill the pales of water I feel as the disciples of Christ must have felt as he slept and the waters raged the ship. I feel as there is no calming the storm and that the light that which is christ will not shine to guide me back inland to safety.
I do not know where these words are coming from but as I type them screams of sorrow and tears fill this house faster that the leaks in the roof and the pales are already full.
As I write that, I had no control of my tears, heart emotions or fingers as they typed it. As I finished that last statement, the sorrows began to flee and the tears stopped. Why did that just happen to me again? I am not sad. And just thinking about me being forced to cry those unwanted tears brings only more sorrow to my heart making me want to cry even more. I was always taught that men are strong and have to be to be what god needs them to be for their families. Why?
- suppress it and become unwell - let it go quickly or slowly (raging, weeping, giving it away, breaking rocks) - transmute it by loving that part of ourselves - rise above the frequencies on which it exists.
There are various therapies based on the above, but ultimately the solution is loving yourself in all your parts.
You have been subject to dark oppression for at least 5 lives. There is much to let go and much to straighten out.
Still, you have started and you have important sponsors that help when they can
Post by conflagratorofspirit on Sept 1, 2021 18:39:02 GMT 9.5
Really? It can't true, these thoughts that are running in my head. Have I truly been trained all my life, these trades just to come here and repair a house? Lmao, a damn bird house? "A God's house"? Lmao, my house? I think that I might need another marijuana cigarette. And why the hell does the name moses keep banging around in my head so damn often anymore?
Gotta get the kiddos up for breakfast and school. Have a great morning.
>Have I truly been trained all my life, these trades just to come here and repair a house?
The organization of my life has been much more systematic than I previously appreciated. It is hard for me to find any errors in the process - even though I understood very little at the time.
Post by conflagratorofspirit on Sept 1, 2021 18:49:46 GMT 9.5
It's as if the bible is happening to me.
My creation, adam and eve(my wife cheating on me with another man(garden of eden), and now it is as if now that I have chosen who I could and could not live as Noah decided, and now with these tears, the floods are coming and washing away all else that has crushed me. When and where in these mountains will my Ark make land fall? As these floods flow I will wait for the sign of a dove from above. Oh the floods.
Post by conflagratorofspirit on Sept 1, 2021 18:54:38 GMT 9.5
Hey there paul, I'm gonna read what ya wrote, I just had those bursts that couldnt stop. Also....you read me a few parts of "my story" or something to help me through this? Huh? You got access to a little something like that? If so, that's some cool shit!
Also, if my "family bible" and all those stories are gonna come true like this, I might burn that bitch cause I'm tired of crying and there is alot if bad shit that goes on in that book that I wouldn't wanna re-live! Hahaha
I was going over some old posts and thought this quote might be pertinent to this thread.. hope it helps! Try not to take too much in with you.
"It started out with the symbols on a battery and very simple. God, Satan, and nothing. But I didnt understand it from the right point of view. Then once neutral made sense BOOM. If you look at my original draft compared to now, it has reduced greatly.
We have all helped reduce these thoughts and it continues to do so.
Like I said earlier about myself. The more you take in with you, the more you will have to work through to get back out."
Post by conflagratorofspirit on Sept 11, 2021 10:39:42 GMT 9.5
Over thinking got me right. Man , I just wrote a bug ass post, errm, a big ass post then deleted it. Probably for the best. Anyone wanna talk about bugs? If not, I will share that which I didn't post so you guys can see how much fun I have at home since I have no damn TRUCK!!
Over thinking got me right. Man , I just wrote a bug ass post, errm, a big ass post then deleted it. Probably for the best. Anyone wanna talk about bugs? If not, I will share that which I didn't post so you guys can see how much fun I have at home since I have no damn TRUCK!!
I have probably deleted more then I have posted hahaha!
We can talk about bugs, but what is happening here is your understanding of them. I think it might be healthy to work on your relationships with them. Some can be dangerous sure, most are not and very interactive with human species.
It might not hurt to familiarize yourself with the insect kingdom anyway. At the very least you can learn ways to repel the pesky ones.
Fox had some good wisdoms here as well! Stay strong brother and keep walking.
