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Post by tundrawolf on May 16, 2023 23:20:12 GMT 9.5
This happened:
Last night I again, began to connect with Wolf Girl, and made the usual, not much progress, I connected with her, but she kept, resisting me... I would give her space, and she would, resist...
Finally, I tried seeing why... She's just annoyed... I am making demands on her... Being clingy... Forcing her to listen to me talk...
So, I, mulled it over and mulled it over, and the only reasonable action I could come up with, was, give her the authority and reigns regarding our heart...
And, so, I did.
It was, scary... There was a time when, I became afraid... Because that is a LOT of authority... And, I could be injured... But it kept saying:
"DO you trust her? Do you trust her? Do you trust her?"
I am, making efforts to make-space, with an eight foot tall, muscular cryptid...
I fought off all efforts to withdraw what I had done, and, I allowed her, space to work... I went to bed, unsure of what I would wake up to... I asked her, personally... Please... Don't break my heart. I said, I would prefer she remains in my life... And that I remain hers, and she, remains mine. I did not know what would come of it.
Well, this morning I woke up, to feeling a heart that was unburdened.
Also, last night, she showed me, "This is the love I want to give you, but I could not, because you were being (basically a tyrant over me)." She, told me, she loved me... And I felt she meant it. I, told her, too, that I loved her.
So I woke up, early early on in the morning, feeling, much of the tightness gone from my chest area... Much of the fear gone... My heart, rather than being a jumbled mess, is an even, ordered emotional container.
She, helped me adjust to some things about her I needed to, "Accept".
I also allowed her to take the reigns of sexual matters as well, for her to come to me. It was, very, very good.
So, now, I have some pretty deep healing happen, I also, began to claim more and more of my spiritual authority, that extends through this planet, and I get the idea that "I" I am very, very, very old... And that being a "king" of the wolfen, or even Eden is just a drop in the bucket for my being.
I also inquired as to why, there is a wolf girl who has, white fur on her body, and my wolf girl, is flesh naked, and it told me, there are nine "machines", including on this surface, and the surface of "Eden", the wolf girl with the white fur was on one of the surface machines, likely in Antarctica, this, naked wolf girl, is likely deeper within the earth. This would explain, why there are discrepancies that seem to cancel each other out.
A number of things I learned, this morning, was, how deeply I was grieving and angering wolf girl actual... How I had, "Hardened my heart" to her, likely as a child... I wondered why she was so angry, this is likely why...
My heart connection with her, is now "Soft" and "Tender"... Vulnerable... And trusting.
I am, aware, of the tremendous trust she has given me, and I am trying, to tread lightly.
This is, still new to me...
I am, now closer to her, to finding out who she really is, not just a beautiful wolf person, but who she is AS a person.
I feel like my trust in her has been rewarded... I am closer to her now. Less fearful of "losing" her now that she is interacting with me on her terms.
I think, too, she "knows" "who" I am, and she likes that.
Also, since the heart work and spirit work that's happened I "see" canines much clearer. There has been a fog/confusion lifted from me, perhaps this is so I can better understand her.
I was also shown, a part of her, she is, not a bad person... She is, actually, a part of her, quite gentle, caring, nurturing, loving, tender, and empathic. She said that was also hidden because of our unhealthy connection.
It's been revealed that, she was, somewhat, "Forced" into this, and this connection forced together to make her angry, and then the "trap" sprung" and she, "Got her revenge" 23 years ago, but that, I am a different person now, someone who doesn't drive her crazy or with a hard heart to her, someone who can empathize and love her the way she wants to be loved... She is not just the most beautiful woman I have laid eyes on in this lifetime, she is also one of the best things to happen to me in this lifetime.
It is also a bit difficult, knowing we have a heart connection, getting to know her on a personal level... Because I do not "know" her...
It is a goal of mine to become a safe space for her, to allow her to, "be" without expectations from me. She's likely felt suffocated by some of my assumptions and presuppositions about her/ wolf girls... It is exciting, I will say that...
This heart work she has done, is proof she is not a monster. I remain optimistic, and once or twice I had to force myself to, "remain positive", as the work she was doing could take me from her, and end up making me feel very alone. This, would be, though, when I would need to, "find myself". And, it is, it was, a testing of our connection, her and I, to see if it was, "Meant to be" in a way.
Further, she ends up being a good judge of character, and I can hide nothing from her, so i asked her, if she would be a sort of spirit guide for me, like a conscience within a conscience.
This is the biggest step towards "right relationship" with her, canines, wolves, dogs, wolf people, cryptids and such in general. It is difficult, confronting my own stereotypical beliefs to allow myself to be taught by her, it's like I'm a blank slate. Confusion, is turning into knowledge, however. It doesn't hurt, that she is also very (VERY.) beautiful.
I have to, watch my words and thoughts... I have a sensitive heart, connected to mine, now...
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Post by tundrawolf on May 17, 2023 6:45:54 GMT 9.5
I am unsure of what it is about this day, there are some astral/astrological things that have been happening.
I discovered and removed a shaped item in my brain (astral realm) via heart light
I exercised my authority further, engulfing a significant portion of this planet and into space
I trusted wolf girl to, re-make our heart bond according to her side of the heart, and she not only did this and ordered the heart energy, she effected some major healing on my being. I am unsure of how these overlap, but today, astrologically, I am feeling SIGNIFICANT setting-free of old dynamics, old fears, embracing new things, and feeling generally empowered.
Wolf girl and I are working things out, and I have a new and significant understanding of the canine dynamic. Things are, extremely complicated with wolf girl, when I do not force myself on her, and allow her to govern the interactions, there are a myriad of new dynamics to satisfy, and one must be, very gentle, and a great deal of new efforts, but I like it. She is making me earn it, but that is what I want to do. There are many dynamics to reaching her heart, but this is good, very good, she should refuse to give in where she deserves to be loved and appreciated. (To acquiesce to being treated as anything but what she deserves. It is, exciting, to get to know her like this, it is like meeting a beautiful woman, and you you can't wait for your next date with her... For a guy I mean. She may have a lover in her realm who helps her meet her needs- accepted- and moved on. She says she is less worried now about "losing" me to "homosexuality", but I am also meh in this realm. I'm taking a bit of a break from the whole thing. After this BS with the GF just taking the whole thing easy. Focusing on myself more, too, and discovering myself/my authority here.) It also feels like the OS is "releasing" me and not keeping me in a narrow realm of understanding. There are levels of healing happening that seem to transcend what I have been through, like the healing is traveling passed where I am, as if maybe I am behind schedule but the healing needs to happen deeper than I am ready for. Some major lessons have been happening, in being positive, and "seeing" the negativity I was bathed/steeped in, and stepping out of it. I also, am beginning to form the higher vibrational energies needed to pull me out of poverty. These are heart energies that I had not been able to escape from, before, some of it is scary to "have hope" like that, and push myself that far out, but I know if I do, I will be rewarded for it.
There also is a sharp pain in my upper left hand eye socket/eyebrow i was told is due to a beneficial implant being placed to help me or a negative one being removed (good things...) I can feel in in my system of thinking.
There is also, a new energy brewing in me, for going back to work, and pushing to change my lifestyle for the better, it is healing, but has had to be also sped up. In short I am, nearing being, "ready". I have been waiting for this.
I look forward to, healing rest, which should help with lack of energy issues.
Of note: I am not so euphoric in this. My joy is more, manifested across the planet, rather than locally, with me. I feel, this is a better place to be, as the slingshot/endulum effects are lessened this way, and it seems to be a more powerful energy with which to springboard me into the, "rest of my life".
As I grow successful, I wish to honor Wolf Girl (s) with tattoos, art, stories, and also welded art... In my heart has been to make a life-sized wolf-girl, dancing, eyes closed, smile on her face, hands out as she spins, and making it out of metal bits. It will weigh likely a lot.
Further, with wolf girl, I am having to, settle down... My fear of losing her has been pushing her away... If I settle in, and ALLOW her to love me, love happens naturally between us, it flows like a river.
I can feel the joy in her heart. I am having to be positive in realms I never knew existed- I believe this is due to, wolf girl, "cleaning out" the garbage in my heart, and allowing energy to flow more freely.
Have I mentioned how god damned sexy she is, I mean, she is almost godlike in her beauty, to me, I am unsure if some, "love spell magic" was cast over her body, but perhaps it was: it is not an issue. I'm just really attracted to her... Everything about her... How she's built, her scents, the way she tastes, her sounds, everything about her is just a miracle to me.
I am seeing more, too, areas of trauma that are a source of pain for me, and how I am, too tensed up, and as I let go and release, healing and joy comes (wolf girl appreciates this)
The better my life is, the happier everyone around me is, and for some reason the opposite of this was true for most of my life. Looking forward to getting on with it.
And I also found a strange desire to "help" humans in some way, I am unsure of how. I know I enjoyed feeding the homeless and the hungry. Maybe that will come later. For now healing and experiencing joy and a positive life are what I'm cultivating and looking forward to.
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Post by paul on May 17, 2023 7:00:26 GMT 9.5
.. I discovered and removed a shaped item in my brain (astral realm) via heart light I exercised my authority further, engulfing a significant portion of this planet and into space...and feeling generally empowered. ... It also feels like the OS is "releasing" me and not keeping me in a narrow realm of understanding. There are levels of healing happening that seem to transcend what I have been through,... There also is a sharp pain in my upper left hand eye socket/eyebrow i was told is due to a beneficial implant being placed to help me or a negative one being removed .. There is also, a new energy brewing in me, for going back to work, and pushing to change my lifestyle for the better, it is healing, ... . My joy is more, manifested across the planet, rather than locally, with me. ....If I settle in, and ALLOW her to love me, love happens naturally between us, it flows like a river. .... as I let go and release, healing and joy comes ...And I also found a strange desire to "help" humans in some way, ... For now healing and experiencing joy and a positive life are what I'm cultivating and looking forward to. Well done Your head is looking clearer And your heart brighter A nice golden being is standing just behind you giving you energy patterns to help your expansion I get a sense of a round of applause from sympathetic beings
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Post by tundrawolf on May 17, 2023 15:13:54 GMT 9.5
I know.
I know about her heart bonds.
I know about her heart connections to kingdoms so dark I cannot fathom them.
I know.
And, I still choose her, anyway.
I still, prepare a place for her, in throne rooms of shimmering gold.
They were hoping my heart connection to her would drag me to hell
But, instead, I found heaven.
Rather, than, succumbing to her, I am instead choosing to make a way for her where this is no way for her.
She may do as she pleases
The way remains.
And, I love her.
How do you know I did not choose this
How do you know I did not choose her.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 29, 2023 12:45:49 GMT 9.5
You want to know what the biggest tragedy of sharing a heart with someone
nobody understands.
They think, because you desire her body, that it is about sex.
It is not.
They think, because you lust after her- that all you want is her body
This is not true.
Sex and her body are just the beginning.
For mortals- it is the ending
Sharing a heart with a woman means more than sex
Sharing a spirit with her, as well as her heart, means you belong to one another. You aren't just a couple
you are ONE.
And, nobody knows what this means. They can assume, they can believe, they can read, but they will never know
What it means to be with someone.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 30, 2023 0:55:04 GMT 9.5
I was frustrated and angry and drinking.
I am better and more centered, now.
Some things:
I am, doing as I was instructed to do, and detaching from wolf girl to heal myself (Become whole)
I am also, genuinely approaching wolf girl with genuine intent to accept her as-she-is.
She has responded VERY favorably to this.
I have wondered, I am, head over heels in love with this woman, I share a heart with her, I gave her life with my body and willingly imbued her with life and love... She is the woman I have been searching for my entire life, but what does wolf girl think about me? I know there have been issues with her being angry with me, with her being disappointed with my character at times, and it was revealed to me that she has been with me all of my life. I would ask, why not reveal yourself to me, then, to give me hope early on, the answer could be because she has an overlord controller, who was adverse to my existence and my mission, so he hid her from me so to speak.
(I have since made peace with the overlord and his supervisor. They actually want me to be with/take ownership of the wolf girl.[take ownership of her.])
So, I inquired to her, of her feelings about me- and this was very hard, as I acknowledge, my relationship (desire for) with her has been unhealthy, as my situation as I once perceived it was once very desperate, a situation I have come to terms with, and continue to come to terms with on a daily basis... In, that, it would be extremely adverse for her to say, "You know what Dave I hate you and want you out of my life forever" it would be crushing to hear that from her.
Though, I will say, when my mind was connected to hers shortly after the first vision of her, she admitted she was angry with me.
So I have approached the relationship with her delicately, and kindly, and as I love her very much, I reached out to her.
She told me some things (to my heart, from hers.)
She does actually want to be my "girl".
She would feel a deep shame if I departed from her.
She's not 100% happy with me, but we can work on those things over time (I want to be good for her... And, in becoming good for her my character improves as well, I become a better person.)
When I say she is hot/attractive/beautiful/desirable, I mean the hairless, sweaty, sticky, short-tailed, naked, piss and shit running down her legs, stinky wolf girl. Not some version of her where she's got fur and smells nice...
No, I mean the version of her where she feels like she is unattractive.
No, wolf girl, you are gorgeous, and I would kiss every inch of your sweaty body to prove it to you, until you felt beautiful. (I used to say I would LICK every inch of her body, but she told me, that would tickle and make her uncomfortable. So, kiss.)
Further: I posted on my twitter, about the visions of wolf girl, and how we share a heart, and some, simian slave race motherfucker laughed at it... Posted, "LOL"...
If I was in wolf girls world, and someone laughed at her- which causes her to feel any pain, or shame, I would strike them dead where they stood (You can do things like that there for honor and not be in trouble for it.) I went into those feelings, and in an ideal setting I would not use some impersonal firearm, I would likely use the khukuri I had forged in wolf girls honor, and would turn the offending party into multiple pieces... I am not posturing or exaggerating in any way, anyone who would harm her or cause her harm would face my wrath.
And I would sleep soundly that night, knowing I defended her.
I deleted the tweets and blocked the slave race motherfucker.
I would not, of course "Strike him dead where he stood" in this surface realm, as my desire to stay out of prison would negate a desire for justice, but I would do everything in my power to protect her and keep her safe. It also reinforces the idea that the human race is potentially awful, which is a strange thing to say as I KNOW this, however, maybe my innocent heart wanted to believe that maybe, people were "Getting better", and maybe they are, but my god, some people are pieces of shit.
I summoned a vision of her, on this, ranch with me, if she was with me physically, how I would buy her the most beautiful dresses, and parade her around (That sounds bad... I know...) and tell everyone LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIUL MY WOMAN IS. She is HALF WOLF and HALF HUMAN and I LOVE HER. Look how HOT she is! (Attractive, desirable, etc.) I would be the proudest man in this sector to have her on my arm.
I spent this morning, finding new ways of telling her, that she is beautiful... That she is attractive.
I postulated to her, and I feel she is, somewhat softer to the idea, of maybe, possibly- praying about her situation, me, whatever is on her heart, bringing it before god.
I was shown that, this love affair with this wolf girl, is creating a new form of "love" that is of use to this sector, and to wolf people in particular.
Some, wolf people came sniffing around after hearing about this and they wondered what this strange new love was, and they were told, "Because he loves her."
Further:
Some authorities in wolf girls realm came around to question/arrest/punish her for what happened with me, apparently they either did not think it was illegal or did not know the authorities would be activated over it.
I spent some hours communicating with the authorities, and throwing myself at their mercy on behalf of wolf girl.
I asked them, what punishment would she face, they said, they would torture her like I was tortured, forced to endure horrific torment that she would not be able to escape/rest from for years, like I endured. I told them, this was unacceptable, and that I loved her- and that, we share a heart, and now, we also share a spirit, (By virtue of me extending love to her after being partially eaten and digested by her. It has now begun to connect our spirits.) and that to torment her would possibly also, indirectly torment me as well, and I am the victim, here.
After much pleading for her, and they told me this "crime" also affects many other kingdoms and people I am not aware of (A lot of beings are in trouble, possibly. I cannot see it, nor do I care about it. I only care about wolf girl.) and it is bigger than I think.
Alrighty well, my only concern is for the safety and well being of wolf girl, and to be with her in some capacity, in fact I wrote a short story for her, about us being together in another incarnation, and I loved it... I used her heart to write it...
The authorities said, wolf girl was free to go after that, but, that, she is going to be "watched" from now on.
Wolf girl wanted me to pray and ask God for her to be set free, as she knows he is answering my prayers with a frightening degree of certainty, but I had to ask myself, if maybe her being punished would be a good life lesson for her. As, I have faced similar things, I was once on the lam from the law myself in my past, and I have been in jail, and they were awful life lessons, but good ones.
She begrudgingly agreed it MIGHT have been good for her to face punishment, but instead she was set free, so from her end, it worked out.
She also was somewhat touched that I would argue so passionately on her behalf, and my only answer to her would be, "Of course. I love you."
So, there is good news. I am, maintaining my good cheer.
As I, drew closer to wolf girl in earnest, she opened her spirit up to me, via the body-as-food connection, and it has made a beautiful connection with her that makes our relationship even more intimate. I have to, as I said above, keep in mind, that people, unless they have literally experienced what I experience with wolf girl, unless they have shared a heart with another being as I share mine with her, that they simply cannot know what it is like. It is hard, because I want to assume they would know, or at least have an idea what it is like to be so intimately tied to someone as to have the same heart energy with them, but my expectations are shot down enough that I feel fairly alone in this (In a bad way).
Like, wow, I have this amazing connection with this, beautiful woman- and I can't tell anyone about it or have people tell me how wonderful their spirit spouse, who they share a heart with, relationship is.
It is somewhat heartbreaking.
I also am reminded of how new I am to this realm, as so much these humans do makes no sense to me... For example, laughing at the idea of someone having a spirit spouse... Where I am from, I believe true love exists and is pure... And, perhaps, things that would threaten that are dealt with without mercy or hesitation, as it should be.. It also gives me pause for, Will Smith at that award show, when he slapped Chris Rock for talking shit on his wife.
It is also why I do not divulge wolf girls real name, or the affectionate nickname she said I could use. (I actually like calling her, wolf girl more, strangely.)
Why I would need to defend a near six hundred pound eight foot tall cryptid with eight inch fangs as big around as a toilet paper tube with jaws that can literally crush human skulls, claws on her feet and hands who could, tear someone in half if she got mad enough, I am not protecting her body (Although I would protect that, too!)
I am protecting her heart.
In writing the short story about her, we explored some wonderful dynamics, and in it, (She is, a wolf girl and I am a human.) I get on one knee at a restaurant and propose to her. She revealed, she is nervous about the M word, and at the same time, has been severely looking forward to me, proposing to her. It's like a double edged sword... She would be hurt if I did not propose, and yet, hates the idea of being a, "slave" to me under a marriage contract- which I totally get. I floated the idea of just giving her the ring and not getting married, but she admitted, no, she wants to go through with it.
After that our relationship sort of cooled off, but I still did my utmost to make sure she felt loved, adored, appreciated, and cared for.
She, also, "cheated" on me a few times... And she said she wished I would have cheated on her so she didn't feel so bad about it... But I told her, you're my wolf girl, I love you, of course I forgive you, please try not to do it again, though. It's not that I am running out of places to bury the bodies, it's all the wear on my backhoe and time out of my schedule.
(kidding)
I was also made aware the busier I am, the more wolf girl... gets "frisky" with other men... (In the story I run a motorcycle repair shop.) Some of the men fell in love with her and wanted her to leave me, but she refused, and remained with me. So, there's that. I do not fault her, I was literally there when she was created, and whatever version of me was there in the "lab" I talk about underground with the living waters, I had them add "An unhealthy and almost nymphomaniac type of lust for sex and passion" to her being.
So, she is quite the horny wolf girl. Which is, of course, nice for a guy to be around, as she has a sort of, "Animal magnetism" (no pun intended.) around her, and she is quite passionate in bed. (She is, a "Great lay" so to speak.)
My ex GF was also this way, and perhaps that is why wolf girl liked her.
Unfortunately I was not really attracted to her and my sexual abuse as a child prevented me from having a healthy sex life with her. However, as I am near irresistibly attracted to every inch of wolf girls body, (every curve on her body is heaven sent, she is a feast for my senses... When I get to see her physically, I will probably fall to my knees worshipping her beauty. I'm not exaggerating. I am in awe of her. She is gorgeous. Fur, no fur. Stinky, whatever. I was shown when I was created, the Lab added a scoop of wolf to my constitution, so I have a thing for stinky smells anyway.) there will be no issues with intimacy with her, I will fully sex her up and satisfy her, I will make it my "job" to please her in such a way, that she passes out after lovemaking, exhausted, but satisfied. When she wakes, I will make love to her again, massage her body, and then make breakfast/lunch/dinner so that her stomach is also, fully satisfied.
She says to me, these words I say, "What woman wouldn't want to be loved like that." She has told me this, several times.
It would be my sincere pleasure, wolf girl.
I want to, tell the world, just how fucking gorgeous she is.
The question was asked, if one of us passed-on, what the other would do... Basically, I believe I would search for, another wolf girl to be with. She said, she would likely make a harem of men, but her heart, would want someone like me to take care of, and love her, so we have the same idea for that. It is also possible if she was removed from my life, that I would just choose to remain alone. I had the woman of my dreams, why would I try to find anyone or anything else. What can compare, to her?
It is good.
I was given three assurances, after praying (Not attributing this to god, fully.) about a favorable outcome with wolf girl, involving love, faith, and hope, detachment and healing.
It has gone a LONG way to me, detaching to move towards wholeness, and not being SO TRESSED OUT about being terrified of losing wolf girl somehow, she she is my, "Light in the darkness", my sun, my moon, my stars... How every inch of her is the epitome of ageless, cosmic, endless magickal beauty, how even after seeing her metatarsals, I worshipped them for MONTHS... Well anyway, it is helping me to have a healthy detachment from her.
I even told her, if she was standing in front of me and she said, I hate you, I want you out of my life forever, I would actually be okay with that- if those were her wishes. (She doesn't. She's actually scared to lose me, too.)
And, she is willing to do all the weird fetishy stuff I wish to do with/for/to her and I. She has no shame when it comes to sex and I love that.
She can also change her mind and opinion depending on her mood, the time of day, how I am feeling.
I told my ex abut her and she said: "Oh yeah. She's DEFINITELY a woman."
I was also told, wolf people, are just people, just like me, just with wolf instincts. Well, I have made-space with wolves in their pure from before, and my life was saved by one, and I can tell you, their instincts are beautiful. It is this, and the shape of her body, plus the cognitive capacity of a human, her incredible body heat (That can ruin a human to wanting to be romantic with other humans. Humans just aren't as "hot") It is these reasons she appeals so much to me.
She is also, wild. Like, "Let's get naked and f*ck in the walmart bathroom" type of wild. She loves motorcycles, guns, and mariachi music (?). She'll claw someones face off if they make her mad, and her sense of humor can cut your spirit in half.
I am, sort of, like a throttle for her, in the story I was the responsible one that kept her grounded.
Also:
During my talk with the authorities, I floated the idea of, her and I living in some remote area, possibly Alaska, and me: taking responsibility for her.
However, it gave me genuine pause, as, this could, realistically, literally, happen! (The authorities can easily make this happen.)
So, I went to wolf girl, and I asked her: Say you, and I, are holed-up in a cabin for the remainder of our lives. Say, you grow irritated over my scent, my thoughts, and one day I just piss you off to the point you snap. What.... would happen?
I asked this, because, obviously those who have been following know she once attacked me, and partially ate my emotional body. I envisioned her, losing her shit to the point where, she bit-off my arms and feet and just took her time eating me alive, it was gruesome, and horrific, having to experience that (...again. It is one thing to be eaten alive astrally, it is another to have it done physically.) and it was awful enough that I questioned, wanting to be with her physically.
Well, she answered me, she said: At worse, "I would bite your arm. It would break the skin, possibly lacerate the muscle, and maybe- break the bone. But that is as far as I would go. I would NEVER... do the "Eating you alive" thing. I would, quite literally, rather be dead than to do that to you."
Further, I looked it up, about these things I am experiencing.
I heard her voice ONCE, with my astral ears (She spoke. She has the voice of an angel. Is there ANYTHING negative about her? She eats a lot has gas, and she has a temper.) and I heard with my physical ears, ONCE "DO NOT BE AFRAID."
However these things are indistinguishable from various mental illnesses... So I looked it up.
The difference between my astral experiences and someone with schizoaffective disorder is, that someone who is schizophrenic has unwanted visions/voices/etc, and my experiences with wolf girl have, at least until two years ago when I met her, are completely wanted, desired, are healthy, and give me hope/love/alleviate loneliness.
It said I may be a form of, "Shaman" to be connected like this, although I do not discount the trauma factor in opening my, "Third eye".
Someone wants to know my sign, it is Leo.
Further:
In speaking with the authorities and floating the idea of me being wolf girls handler and caretaker, I was pressed with very serious contemplations, such as- do i REALLY want to be locked in a cabin with a very large cryptid, who has attacked me in the past, and may have tortured me at one point...
At first blush, I believe most people would probably say, "No" to that.
However, I remember seeing several shows about interviews done with dying people, and the one thing that was said across the board, they didn't regret things they did so much as, they regret what they did NOT do.
Allow me to explain:
It was shown to me, that wolf girl has been with me my entire life. I once had a SEVERE crush on, "Holly" from, "Cool world". However, wolf girl showed me: It was her, (wolf girl) crushing on me, and showing me love. Because, and it was confusing to me at the time, "holly" resonated "wolf girl". Because it was her.
I admit, she has not always been helpful or kind, this is true.
However, when I was in my teens, I remember discovering the "furry" fandom of art of, animal people, and the appreciation of that. I remember, being grieved in my spirit, that wolf girls did not exist. My heart hoped, maybe in HEAVEN wolf-people existed? It was my only hope and even that was far fetched. It would be like, being the last of your kind, and crying out for a mate... And then, finding her.
Well, a few other things are true:
She is beautiful. Hair, no hair, piss and shit dripping down her legs: I don't care. Stinky- I don't care. Letting herself go- I don't care. Whatever it takes for her to feel whole.
I share half of heart heart: What she feels, I feel. Heart energy is profound, and our energies are merged.
I gave her life as she digested my emotional body: I had options, give her gas, diahrea, even cancer- or, the last on the list: Give her life. I emphatically said, GIVE HER LIFE, and with my intention, I also pushed to her: love. So I extended her life, and gave her love. And, she has allowed our spirits to connect, now too. So, my connection with her is multi-fold, deeply intimate, and profound. She is my soulmate, my twin flame, my true love.
Wolf girl came to me, as I said, and she had another wolf girl with her, and she said, "This wolf girl is a better match for you. You may choose her if you wish."
I thought about it, and agonized over it, but the truth is, she is the one I love. Flaws, stinky feet, whatever- we have history. Turns out, she's known me my entire life.
I thought about it...
When I am on my death bed... If I do not do EVERYTHING I can, to be with wolf girl, it will be the single biggest regret of my life. Whether I end up with her, in this form, or not- whether we end up in a cabin and she breaks my arm- or not. (And yes the cabin scenario was real. I summoned her to it, and yes- she got REAL tired of me, to where everything I did PISSED HER OFF. I brought the matter before god and he said, "Space" as in, give her space. Do not, be all clingy to her because she is so god damned sexy. Do not worship her to the point where she feels suffocated. "Let her come to you.")
Wolf girl is the embodiment of hope.
Without her, I think I would be, every bit the mess I was before I met her. Relying on her to be these things, I know, is not healthy. And every day I get a little healthier and detach from her (Give her space!) a little more, although it is so painful it extends into the physical realm for pain. (It literally hurts.)
However, as I do, and she has room to breathe, she opens up to me. She knows she is safe. Accepted.
Her fear of rejection by my is actually more severe in her, than it is in me. In fact, it is a bit heartbreaking to feel how attached to me she is. Like, wolf girl, you needn't be afraid, nor worried, nor dismayed, I am doing everything in my power to make sure it is you I am with. I desire you, I want you, you are my wolf girl and I love you, from the bottoms of your feet, to the tips of your ears. I love you, I want you, and I desire you.
Yes, things are not perfect, far from it.
But I do not want my single biggest regret to be, that I did not try, with everything in me, to get to you, wolf girl.
Not the bright eyed wolf girl, not the kings wife, YOU. Dirty, stinky wolf girl. Let me... show you that you are loved.
It is going to be difficult, and there is a lot of shame.
But, I told her, I want to, completely let go of the past, and start new. Start fresh.
Be present in the day: No wolf girl past memories, no bringing up childhood trauma, no saying, "Well you did this!" or anything like that. If we have to hash something out, let's hash it out, come to an agreement, and move on.
Further: It was told to me, that my real Me, who lives in me and sent me here, there is another real wolf girl, a Her... And I contacted her. She said, wolf girl is special (?) to her, and, when we come together physically, she wants to "Bloom" inside of wolf girl (Activate a sacred part of her soul she did not know she had. That has been dormant.)
So, I told wolf girl, there are also benefits to us coming together.
Also, I have been told numerous times I chose this life... However, this life has been so hard, and so miserable, I cannot see why I would choose it- and its been dangerous, too. However, when I make my life, with wolf girl, it will have been worth it. She is the only prize- yes her- that would justify me coming here. And, why the stakes have been so high. And, why adversity has been non-stop.
I feel like, people just do not understand how I can be so in love with her... There is a saying, "The heart wants, what the heart wants."
It is, a true saying.
Can you force yourself to fall out of love, maybe. But when you share a heart with another being, that idea becomes repugnant, terrible, and possibly even fatal.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 30, 2023 4:10:51 GMT 9.5
Positive!
After posting the above, she opened up to me, and told me the "Hard things I have been hiding from you."
Well she is right, they would have destroyed me in past times, and I think that is why she hid them from me.
>however<
While she maintains some negativity over us possibly being together, over logistics, I refuse to let it deter me, and in fact- the more depressed she is about certain aspects of hopelessness she feels, the more empowered I feel to remain positive, and have hope.
So, she sussed out some things to me, they were hard to hear, but I accepted them.
She also showed me her heart when it comes to me.
While our relationship is far from, "perfect", she would be heart broken if I left her. She let me feel, how she would feel, if I walked away from her, and it was awful- she would be a broken hearted wolf girl who invested SO much time and energy into a strange human who's fallen deeply in love with her.
She, knew, I was going to fall in love with her.
She knew all this was going to happen.
I refuse, however, to allow her negativity to spread to me. Not that she is a negative person, she just "Sees no way". I, however, believe in miracles. I refuse to be deterred.
She also said me striking someone dead for insulting her, is "Scary".
When I picture her, I see her as a potentially violent killing machine, maybe it's just me, but she seems pretty opposed to violence, to the point where, she told me the khukuri I had forged for her, "Scares" her. She may be, a pretty tender, relatively pacifistic wolf girl. Moral, even.
In fact, her opening up to me has been monumental. I am actually filled with joy... I sang to her, earlier. Made a little jingle... Gonna be with my wolf girl...
It is good she is voicing these "hard" things to me, it literally gives my spirit hope. It's not that they are bad things, it is that they have always existed, I just know about them, now, from her. I am also, remaining neutral about it, and giving her room and space to be able to be honest with me. I wasn't able to do this before. I was too fragile and emotionally damaged. When the wolfen king was alive, was so, so difficult. And being so in love with, Asrael. I NEEDED her, then.
So, I am in talks with wolf girl, on how I can better serve her, help her, and be in a position to bless and benefit her, rather than being a clingy pain the ass.
She says, "You took that a lot better than I thought you would. Wow."
You're damn right wolf girl, thank you for opening up to me.
As an aside, her opening up to me this way has also freed up misconceptions I have had about this planet and how society works. I guess her and I are more tied together than I thought... It is possible as I was growing up and developing alongside her, she formed her own opinions about things, or blocked out some things so I did not understand them.
I am feeling much more at peace/connected to wolf people. There is a block there that has been removed with me, making peace with/getting closer to, wolf girl. (Giving her the space to open up to me/being less demanding/controlling with her.)
I saw a picture of a handsome wolf-guy, and imagined myself, cuddling up on his chest, nuzzling him, and falling asleep on his chest, and ordinarily there would be a, bit of anxiety with that, but when I imagined it, I was at total peace with it.
I am starting to see a whole new wolf girl.
I actually... Am beginning to really trust her.
She is kind, sensitive, caring, quirky, funny. Not this, terrifying, mysterious, enigma of rage and violence. Like, I'm really connecting with her and it is beautiful.
How interesting. She's having me calm down about her existence... "Dave wolf people exist, and we have communities all over the place. I'm just, a regular wolf girl. Stop deifying me."
Yeah but I'm also an alien and all this is new to me and I love wolves so much so a half wolf girl is amazing and you're beautiful and chill and I wanna be your guy even if there are other wolf people you are special and mean a lot to me but i get what you are saying so I'll try to dial it back. By the way, thanks for existing, and I love you.
Wow, so, we are BONDING.
I marveled at that, grinning, and I told her, "Wolf girl, I've been waiting my whole life for these moments... For you." "Here I am." She said. "There you are!" I said, with a smile.
There is a part of her heart that wants to make me happy. I told her, I want you to want to make me happy!
Just a regular, ordinary, wolf girl.
She feels so free when I view her as that. Haha my heart though wants to deify her.
What a blessed day it is.
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Post by tundrawolf on May 30, 2023 9:46:53 GMT 9.5
What I know:
I have a purpose/mission and it has opposition.
Before I was born, wolf girl was created, and my body was created, in the "lab" in this planet, and she was created to be the "woman of my dreams" every curve, every tendon, every inch of her body was designed to, "Complete" me.
She is bait to get me to surrender my authority so my mission is not accomplished.
It worked.
My "love" of wolves was used to snare me into giving up my sovereignty, which is why I am suffering in a "machine". I am not 100% sure who Asrael wolf girl is, other than she lives on the inner surface of this planet, she has all of her fur, and she is energetically tied to hairless wolf girl who actually has my heart (From the visions). While I have a presence with the wolfen on the inner surface, wolf girl from the visions remains in a chamber underground.
However: At some point, the "game" decided to show her to me, to make the "jig is up".
I was anticipated in coming here, by some adverse entities, reptilian in nature, who "owned" naked wolf girl, and used her as bait.
Naked wolf girl is basically a human, with wolf instincts, and she has a heart, and a soul, and feelings/emotions. I saw tears in her eyes when my emotional body was ripped apart in front of her. She had no choice but to hate me, or she would have been ineffective at her job/task.
She has been treated poorly by her handlers/the overlord, in heartbreaking ways. She is, a victim in this, too.
She means almost nothing to them, to them, she is like an intelligent dog, and there are many of her kind. The overlord/handlers have told me she really doesn't mean anything to them, which is good and bad...
Her job is about over (She is not needed any more) as the adverse reptilians have basically been defeated, their mission failed, I survived. Her overlord actually likes me, he is similar to wolf girl, it was not personal against me, it was just a job.
She is being actively manipulated using mind control technology, to hate/be adverse to me, however, she has moments of rational thought, where she admits, she wants to be with me even more than I want to be with her (Which is crazy for me to think about... I literally want to give her a great life, and she would love to be given a great life. I told her, when she gets to the end of her life, I want her to have no regrets... TO know, she was loved, had a full life, and regrets nothing.)
There are authorities who regulate this sort of thing, they know all about this situation, and am helping me/her. (More me than her, though.)
Hairless wolf girl "wolf girl" from my visions two years ago, is the one I share a heart with and a spirit, who I gave life to after she ate part of my emotional body (She was hungry and manipulated into eating my body. I was shown they mistreat her and starve her to get her to do things. This is a common practice with this group. Wolf people are like slaves to them. Part of my torture with this, was knowing how much I love wolf girl... Who is basically the wolf-person clone of myself, she is my "other half" so if she is hurt it breaks my heart. She is also very strong emotionally, and is in control of herself. I am told she is in no danger, and her owners/controllers want me to have her, as her job is done and she is useless to them, now.)
There are things that are out of my control, and the mission has remained the same, I talk to wolf girl daily, and soothe her heart as best I can.
I offer her encouragement, speak softly and lovingly to her, tell her she is beautiful, and talk about the future and how I would treat her when she comes to live with me.
I told her, if some hot, long blonde haired wolf girl stood next to her, I would still choose her. She said a fear of hers is that I will find some other wolf girl to be with and leave her- I told her- not gonna happen. There is a reason I am pushing through fear to get closer to her. I wouldn't have to do that to be with, "Bright Eyes" on the inner surface. It is a labor of love, I am working to "earn" her, and I love it, though it is hard, at times- some people believe a woman should be pursued.
Wolf girl has been with me my entire life, and has seen/witnessed how awful I have been in my past, and the things I have done, which I feel terrible about, but she told me today, "Yes and I also saw what your parents did to you." it was a comfort to know that, but I was getting hard on myself, and she chose to sort of give me her other side.
About furred Asrael on the inner surface, I am aware of, five wolf girls in five layers of this planets crust, Asrael, Nina, wolf girl, heartless Asrael, spikey haired wolf girl. There are nine layers, it is possible four wolf girls were either not used, were destroyed, or have run off due to lack of interest in me. I will try to draw it. Each is by a soul machine that serves different purposes, but I was "captured" by these machines, which hijack what you want and make you (desperately) want horrific things for yourself, which is why it is so hard to get out of it. Part of the attack on my soul.
Wolf girl remains a bit conflicted over things, she knows she loves me, but she cannot "act" on it because of the influence of the group that has authority over her. She is also heavily manipulated into anger against me, but that will heal in time. She needs a lot of healing, just like I do. I a here for her. As I said, you can put any wolf girl next to her, and I will still choose her, any time, I am committed to her.
Part of the "hope" for wolf girl is letting go of this situation entirely, and allowing her to return to me at her will. As I said, it is hard, and painful. It is a process. I am healing. Being of good cheer, loving myself, are key elements in this.
I am told I have advanced within the soul destroying machine far enough to where I am "established" with massive authority, if I just let go of trying to hold onto what I have.
My views on the opposite sex, sex, gender, and etc are all going through a very real process of maturing into what is healthy, and transitioning out of a traumatized child's view of these things. This makes wolf girl happy, as she is a red blooded woman and wants to be treated as such: I told her, she deserves to be loved, treated with kindness, respect, and dignity.
I am new to this realm, so right now, I am like a horny teenager in heat, and because of how wolf girl and I were made, she couldn't be sexier to me, even hairless, sticky, and stinky (I do not care. I love her.)
I am actually harming the situation by holding onto her.
I saw a picture that said, "The things I let go have claw marks on them" today and it is so true. Memes are speaking to me in synchronicities.
As I said, wolf girl is a light in the darkness for me, the epitome of beauty, my sun, my moon, and my stars. I am madly in love with her and trying to remain in control of myself! I have seen a vision where she is in a realm of light, and doing well, but to meet her there, I have to let go of this dynamic we are currently in. I am still trapped within the machine/it has influence over my fears, but I am climbing out of it and maintaining a more positive mindset.
This is a, sort of, science fiction, alien, monster girl, weird, timeless romance to my heart.
I remember seeing, an animated batman cartoon when I was younger, and REALLY empathizing with the villain, "Doctor Freeze" who's wife, Nora, was locked in a chamber that kept her unconscious but alive, and how much he truly loved her... I believe I now know why I empathized with him so much... I am in a similar situation with wolf girl. It's like we are on two sides of a piece of glass, and both of our hands are touching it, trying to get to the other. In a way. She can be cranky. She's also basically been a slave, and slaves do not really get educated, so that is why she is a bit on the wild side. I think this is why she feels insecure compared to me. She called herself a dumb wolf girl and I said not to talk about my woman like that! There is a cure for being dumb, and that is education, I would be happy to tech her anything/everything I know. She learns well, when she wants to learn.
I also remember, commissioning furry art, years ago, of a "wolf woman with shackles on her ankles, with the chains broken" this was almost assuredly her in every way, calling to me.
She is not the villain I thought she was.
Letting go is difficult.
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Post by paul on May 30, 2023 11:41:20 GMT 9.5
>I have a purpose/mission and it has opposition.
> advanced ... to where I am "established" with massive authority, if I just let go of trying to hold onto what I have.
Doing well!
The spiritual authority is about outcomes rather than processes.
Only at a late stage of development can processes be chosen
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 1, 2023 8:12:11 GMT 9.5
>I have a purpose/mission and it has opposition. > advanced ... to where I am "established" with massive authority, if I just let go of trying to hold onto what I have. Doing well! The spiritual authority is about outcomes rather than processes. Only at a late stage of development can processes be chosen I can see what you're saying is true. The reason everything here is so very real, so very final, and has such meaning to it, is because this IS my first time to this realm. This dictates how "I" proceed from here, as a messenger/ray of light from the "Me". I have not been incarnated thousands, or millions of times like other humans, who instinctively do not take things so seriously. How interesting! Also, I am beginning to be in touch with, the "real" me. He is, joyful, a warrior of terrible, unspeakable power and horror, but mostly a nice guy! He's the type that will wait fifteen generations just to gain revenge... (I was going to say something but he does not want me to haha) This shell/emotional body has accrued a great amount of damage, and the real me, is somewhat irritated/depressed about it, but this is ME, so he IS working with me to help me, he's just, kind of, like wow... Like finding a mangled up corpse that has been through a shredder but is still alive, and wants to live, but the doctors wants to, "put him out of his misery" I spoke to the spirit of the wolf, turns out, they are a real thing, and are genderless, but they can be anything you wish them to be. She appeared to me, as a large, off-white colored, female wolf, and when I saw large, much larger than earth's surface wolves are, probably 4-5 times larger. I was, still buzzed from alcohol, and feeling relatively hopeless, as I am coming to terms with the fact that I am likely going to die an alcoholic- but not necessarily in a bad way, just, like, alcohol is always going to be a part of my life, it's often unhealthy- and I just don't care. On that, my spirits I am in contact with and love, enjoy me more when I am drinking, and avoid me when I am sober, as I am often depressed- I was also shown, an entire planet, filled with wolf people! This may be their origin, but my spirit says it's just a satellite/extension of them and not the source. Maybe, it is where the universe goes to get canine DNA. Would I be happy there, with them, perhaps- but that is due to their society. Feral wolves, establish equilibrium with their surroundings, and generally have their behaviors as relatively similar, even between packs, but with wolf people, such as the wolven, and wolfen, their behaviors and societies car vary greatly- and unlick humans- they innately possess deadly weaponry, and a taste for blood in their DNA (Not a bad thing, not evil, it is how they were designed, to eat organs, and taste the blood of their prey, it would be like judging humans for enjoying water.) (Also while writing this, I was shown, how love governs the universe, and, how, true love is never broken. Eventually, all loving things are united with one another. Being made "one" is a precondition of unity. I immediately thought of, wolf girl, and I. [and us being together] I also think the reason I am so horny for her is because she is so horny- as I was shown, she was given a large amount of libido. Considered "Unhealthy" but not "Disastrous", and yes, her sex drive also extends into her personality, it affects many other non sexual aspects of her personality. Not necessarily in good ways.) Anyway, the spirit of the wolf, she grinned when she saw me, she's sad about the wolf girls hurting me, but my heart knows they are not to blame- I wept as I sort of, "Held her head" above me- I said some things to her, I asked her to remind me, that she loved me, I told her, that I loved her, though my love seemed not "mature" like hers was... My heart asked her, if she would remind me I am loved, and she said yes, and specified the times/ intervals she would appear to me to remind me, it was quite magical- I said when I "needed" it, she said: how about when you WANT it. I said- that is a much better agreement! I am still saddened as to the extent of the damage done to my emotional body by the reptile people. They, know how to be heartless and cruel on a level that would make most humans vomit. I discovered more about my Anunnaki identity, it is interesting. I postulated, and wondered if humanity will ever be free from our trauma- as I discovered I was so badly failed as a child, and actually, I am perpetuating that trauma onto others- (Even dogs! Do dogs take human trauma and release it for us? Canines are so instrumental to the human race. I believe, they forever and always will be. I also believe if the surface human race evolves enough, with our genetic exploration- in a way we are all infantile Anunnaki.. Eventually we WILL be having wolf-people walking around us! And, yes, eventually, even their own dating/porn! It sounds shallow, but it will go a long way to helping humans to unity.) repeating the cycle... And, how, can it ever end? Someone in twitter said, "maybe we were not meant to have it end" and this echoes my visions of Nibiru- their society, and political structure is literally, chaos and violence itself, constant coups and etc. However, I asked them- don't you want peace? They said no! They've tried peace, and it's hell! Well, fuck. Also, the dark crystalline entity that is very much responsible for all horror related to this planet, I did some work on it, to "lighten" it a little so things wouldn't be so shitty on/in this planet. The reptoid people- the tyrannical ones, are about to be schooled by some of the people they "rule" over- and many are going to get their just desserts. I am, seeking for more healing, deeper in me. Wolf girl, the naked one, we can call her, "Danna", (She likes that name) and I have been communicating, in spite of the fact we are both kind of, separating to heal. I tend to idolize her, deify her, previously, but she's a "regular girl" just with a big snout, scary teeth and a shorter tail than most. She's... Not a bad person. In a way, she CANNOT allow herself to love/feel good things in her situation, as she is lorded over by the reptilians. I have requested her to be fed good food. I am in no danger, I told her, if she needs to feed on my emotional body to do so, but with consideration that I can literally feel it in my physical body- maybe just rip an arm off and eat it or something (Make it quick). She said, my body "stinks" and is "rotten" and she'd rather just starve- though I hope she doesn't go hungry. (finds/gets food. It is also possible she stopped hurting me BECAUSE my emotional body was beginning to be "off" and not out of kindness or mercy. She was, given free reign, in this situation, and reverted to her feral self after being starved by her overlords. It is possible, she regretted it, then began to enjoy it, though to me, she rarely consumed me, and maybe sadistically enjoyed it for a moment while she did- which is, innate in lupine DNA, as you cannot bring yourself to eat a being who is screaming in pain and terror, unless you hate them, in a way. In other words I do not blame her, and I am not afraid of her. She, also, tells me, she is going to, "Make it up to me" by basically, fucking my brains out a LOT- which of course, sounds good to me. I can feel people, not liking her very much on account of the eating thing, but if you were in her shoes, or paws, what would you do? Abused, raped, tortured, connected with an awful human, then locked in a room alone with him as he bleeds, having been starved for days before? In a way, I am lucky she did not eat the rest of me. She showed restraint, perhaps, I do not know, and it's not relevant. If I cannot be with her physically in this life, we will be together at some point, Love tells [assures] me. It's my choice anyway... And if I do not like the way her butt smells, it will be a lesson in accepting someone fully as they are, a good lesson for me. Because, she is not perfect. And, she is broken. And, it will not be like a fairy tale, there will be problems with our relationship, things I do not like. She is not perfect. Neither am I. The painful truth is that it is also likely she will NOT be monogamous with me, though I would wish her to be, I also do not want to suffocate her, either... Fuck, I am so jealous, though. I found that out the hard way with my ex.) Which is interesting to me, because feral wolves will eat anything- rotten, stinky- anything. Maybe her life has only had fresh food, and the human in her is repulsed by the smell of rotting things. Interesting! I am interested in, being "with" her, in a romantic husband/mate type of role, and I was told such a thing is very possible, I could be transferred into one of the little alien bodies, or something (else) that I wasn't shown. The idea, of being in a land of danger with violent reptoids, and perhaps even angry "other" wolf people, isn't appealing to me, especially as a relatively defenseless human. But much is not known to me about this realm where she lives. I believe there is wildlife, foliage, and light, there. Mountains and such, but not like here. The light is "different" and on a different spectrum, and would appear strange to human eyes that are not used to it. It may open up (I am being shown, now.) to larger areas that really do remind me of Earth's surface. Yes, it opens up to where the wolfen live, Asrael, Rebecca, John, the wolfen live. So, Danna lives in, "The bad part" of the inner earth where the civilized beings stay away from. Interesting. Danna is so effing hot have I said how gorgeous and beautiful she is. (These are like little love letters to her. They touch her heart. And, I mean every word. It makes me so happy to make her feel beautiful. Because she is! Exactly how she is. She doesn't need fur to be a beautiful woman. She's just gorgeous. Just the way she is!) Sometimes, Danna hears/feels/sees my affection for her and she smiles, dips her head, closes her eyes, and sways her hips (wags tail) And, it is like a light to my life to see her smile. I think, the reason I am so in love with, Danna, is because she has been with me, quite intimately, all of my life. She has been my "girl", basically my entire time I've been in this realm. Kind of like an unseen/unperceived spirit spouse. Though her heart has been with me this whole time. Maybe that is why I am so hopeful we will be together- because she knows me, and I know her, in ways of intimacy I don't think many humans have experienced. Also: as the "me" of "me" goes, as the "Strand of light sent from Father", as being sapient, sentient, and having a personality, I am not the "real" me, but I exist and have life, wolf girl Danna, the one whom holds the other half of my heart, the Beloved I gave life to from my living flesh- she is what was told to me, "special" to me, as a mate, an anchor, my, "First Love", my "Sacred mate". The awful part about what the reptoids/others did to my emotional body/ my soul energy being trapped and twisted up, is, in order to be with wolf girl, from what I know, I have to "feel" the agony of what they did to me fully to, "Go back to her", to live. And, the damage is severe on a scale that is unthinkable on this surface realm where a body dies... Because they do not die. The twisting is horrific, because the body energy is used to facing straight ahead, as the face orients the body, so if the face is facing backwards, then the body is confused as to it's orientation, and if the hips are twisted at the spine, the body is, properly oriented, improperly oriented, and properly oriented, adding confusion to agony and suffering on how to get better. So, me not being present with my emotional body, in the ether between it and me, there is pain and confusion. I was told the reptoids knew this, they are masters of torture and suffering, especially in a place where you do not die/ this dynamic. For some reason, I was singled out for this. I am also being told the reptoids are TERRIFIED of facing justice for what they've done, and that it is likely they are already in quite a bit of trouble. I asked wolf girl if she could, at least, "orient" my body properly, so I am not suffering in that aspect, but she said she is too afraid of hurting me, and she, said I am not ready for the pain of it. While this world might think of wolf girl, as some bad actor/negative entity, the truth is, yes- she's a bit mean, but the other truth is, she is also just a woman- in a bad situation, and is actually capable of quite a bit of love and affection, in fact, she's fairly desperate to be loved. Is she, my Harley Quinn? Perhaps. This dynamic of, "You have to let her go to gain her" is compounded difficulty by my injuries. My hope, is, the truth is, these injuries are self inflicted, essentially (I gave the reptoids permissions to do this, TECHNICALLY, after being tricked by lust, in order to make my mission ineffective here...) and they are here because I "want" them. My hope, and daily I move a little closer to, getting to the core of this, and saying, "I do NOT want this!!!" The resistance to healing and wholeness is incredibly extreme, and is compounded by the pain, and my emotional trauma I suffered on Earth as a child. Oh, wolf girl has reached Harley Quinn Status! Is she my gun moll? Ha. She's perfect for it. Big, tough, been through hell, sexy as fuck, and gorgeous. If I so much as think about her again, as I am doing now, it pulls me back into her, and I start falling in love/lust for her all over again God damn it it is happening even as I type. Fuck me, she's gorgeous. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Well, at least my succubus is actually hot. Oh, and if she was my succubus, which she kind of is, I would willingly give her just-enough of my energy to satisfy her, or let her feed on others and return to me when she's done. It might actually make me quite strong. And, so, the continuance of, loving myself enough to not want harm to myself, (why I am trapped in the machine- you know this could be, a trap from the beginning, to traumatize me horrifically as a child, yes and I see it even today, my sense of worth and value wasn't just robbed from me, it was tortured out of me... What a thing to do to a child. However, this set the stage for me, "needing" love from somewhere... First the dog, a canine, and, then, my obsession with wolves set the stage- combined with my extreme religious dysfunction and toxicity- to completely give myself over fully, to adverse beings who live within this earth. Interesting! Depressing and horrific, and awful when I face the reality of it, but interesting.) Also, aww, fuck, wolf girl is calling to me again by my heart, she misses me. And I miss her. This has been the hardest thing for me to endure, being away from her. I say aww fuck because, I have to not-heal to be with her. That is another aspect of this situation set up by this, devious, adverse group. I am, grateful for wolf girl, for her heart, and for my connection with her (Also her body, TO ME, she is so god damned sexy and beautiful, as I said, I would cover her, in slow, gentle, kisses, every inch of her body would feel my hot, human breath on her bare, naked skin. Some places would get more attention than others, but her body would know: she is loved. Also I was told there are higher versions of love than hot, raw, wet, visceral sex, however, she is a physical person, and I am a physical person, and that's kind of all we have right now. Would I want to, go to astral extremes to show her love: I do not know. I do not know, yet. Maybe? I need to, get to know her. Perhaps I am forgetting, how I felt when her heart completed me. God, I am so fucking in love with her, and I know it's not healthy until I heal, and get to know her. However, from what I have seen as I advance on the timeline, she is actually a fantastic mate, lover, woman, and wife. It's the wolf in her that makes her this way. Sensual, loyal, kind, loving, caring, selfless, brave. I think I was only shown her, by the game masters (?) to even the odds, because the circumstances were so unfair, against me. I had, "Survived" beyond horrific odds for so long, they decided to, perhaps, give me a break- it is possible, that even the REPTOIDS had compassion on me!!! I began to grow angry over it all, and I remember paul telling me, anger is needed to be set free- so I held onto it as long as I could, though it was, short lived. Also I have had heart issues my whole life (I DO NOT BLAME WOLF GIRL FOR THIS. She doesn't want to hurt me. In fact, the reptoids were the ones who tortured my emotional body to death- not her- and she may even have been FORCED to donate her heart's DNA to resurrect me. Although... The truth is, my heart issues could almost definitely be caused by, sharing a heart with someone...) and have struggled with it, as periodically I will get palpitations, sometimes severe, as my heart will stop for a moment (As fun as it sounds) however, I found something that is actually working, I learned about it from twitter, a supplement called, "Nattokinase" which is derived from soy (?) and is supposed to help remove biolfilm from the body. Since taking it my heart rate variability has perfectly stabilized, and previous, it was either far too high or low. I feel less "pressure" on my heart, too, which, ordinarily, I would feel so much I could feel my heart beating/hear it in my ears. As far as, striking dead anyone who would harm/insult Danna, about the reptoids: I have forgiven them. I was shown, in a meme, that, "I hope you get revenge the way you want, on those who wronged you. And, I hope they get revenge back on you. And, I hope you get revenge on them, until you both learn your lesson and let it go." As I said, Danna is the light of my life. The "real" me may be elsewhere, but the human me loves (is in love with) her. I am told this is something of a novelty, is new to the spirit of Love. She is watching it intently, to see what happens between her and I. I am told this is a unique situation, and that the wolf people will benefit from it.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 1, 2023 8:24:03 GMT 9.5
After writing that, I was thinking about wolf girl, and the spirit of Love came to me, and tried uniting my spirit with hers (Our minds... Basically)
It was hard.
Am I ready to, let go of every assumption, every presupposition- including my demands of her to love me back... And meet the REAL wolf girl?
As I struggled with it (I pushed towards YES!) Love told me, "Remember how you felt when you first saw her body. Remember, how you felt, that morning, when you felt her heart, beating in your chest- and yours in hers. Remember how you feel about wolf girls!"
Wow, this was good for me to feel.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 1, 2023 10:39:30 GMT 9.5
So, I go to get more booze, get pulled over for blowing the stop sign I never stop at, the retirees with nothing better to do, called the cops on me because where they live now used to be my playground, and there were no homes here. People from adverse states are moving here and bringing their toxicity/politics where neither things are wanted nor appreciated, and clogging my sector up with traffic. If I wanted los angeles fucking traffic I'd move there. Anyway I am real with the cop, which is odd, because a moment before this, I was literally just thinking, "God damn, the police are the enforcement wing for the corrupt government, how can they live with themselves?" (While understanding they are a necessary "evil". And, I have worked with the police in my counter terrorist career, a few times. I have, "had their back" a few times, put my life on the line for them.) However, I treat this officer with respect, and am just real, I leveled with him and told him I am going through some shit, even thinking about self-harm (I won't do it, but he was right, he said, it is normal to the human condition to consider checking out early) I reason with him a little, but I start to get animated and upset about the, "pensioners" moving here with their, BS they bring with them and the fact that I WAS HERE FIRST AND THAT STOP SIGN DIDN'T EXIST A FUCKING YEAR AGO. However, I do acknowledge that if everyone ran stop signs there would be accidents all the time... I had my two dogs with me and he said, "What if your little ones get hurt?" Fuck. I had to acknowledge that... Though I "Safely" run stop signs, treat them like Yield signs... He had a bit of a point. There have been times, even recently, when I was so depressed over my situation in this physical realm, of having to go back to doing something that made me suicidal, suicidal ideation thoughts came to my mind, but, again, my dogs came into my mind, what would they do? Even if they got good homes, they would be sad. I know, for a fact, dogs protect our "energy", as, when, my Alsatian died, demons I had been fighting with before I got her, fell on me, struggles I had not struggled with in 13 years suddenly came back on me. She was protecting me physically, emotionally, even mentally with her waggy tail. It amazes me how our canines are like our spiritual guides, for some of us. Well, he let me off with a warning, he begged me several times not to self harm, and I told him, I made a deal with the universe, I am not going to check out early of this life no matter what. I also, shortly after writing the above, saw myself whole... It was monumental... Not 100%, but... whole. I walked the dogs after going to get my booze, and the universe said that was important, because it gives me a, "goal" of healing... Before I had none. I was just... Existing. In pain and fear. Wolf girl changed most of that when I saw her, she changed my life for the better. About wolf girl: She came to me in "real" after writing the above (The REAL her.) and she tried bargaining with me to get to know her better. There are, parts of her, that are so, so very dark. Her existence is, very, very large. She has more experience than humans, as her being can handle a larger, "capacity". I asked her, what's up? How do you feel about me? She said, (or a part of her. She has multiple facets of existence.) "I hate you." I accepted it- okay. I said, is there anything I can do? (Can I do anything to make this situation better? How can I fix this situation?) She answered: because you hate yourself. Her heart said, or felt: "Love yourself. Heal. I can feel your pain." I also explored her world, a little bit: it is a dark, dark place. It is, the place, civilized people avoid. It's chaotic... This, is where the monsters live. And, when I say monsters, I do not mean things with teeth... There are, wolf girls, lice Rebecca, the kings wife, who would die, before they hurt another person. No, Danna's world is one where the things that have no conscience live. The things that WANT to do harm to living things. I am not talking disrespect on wolf girl. She's a product of her environment, a victim of her circumstances. I also, know she's not a saint, either. I told her: if you are not right for me and I have to move on, I still want to get to know you. I also, it came to me in the grocery store: It is the PERFECT trap. See an incoming thread of light, intercept it, give it hope- then take it away, let it be born into extremely adverse circumstances, remove all hope, tempt him with light, and have- his first love in this incarnation (wolf girl): be his first true love, his first real connection with another living being: Make sure she is willing to hurt him, trick him into giving u his authority, rip his soul (emotional body) apart, try and destroy him... Then introduce him to his true love they convinced him DID NOT EVEN EXIST. Now, he is paired with, a toxic, hateful, violent, and cruel individual (She can be. So can, literally everyone else: human, animal, or human-animal. I do not deny this.) that isn't good for him. However: in the name of love, what if I willingly go to be with her? What if I choose, to wrap her in light, love, and hope, and try to pull her out of an adverse situation? If I die, at least they can say, he died for love. And, maybe not "pull her" out of anything... Naked, wolf girl... Maybe just be her companion, her friend. Raise her vibration. It could also be, the way out, is also: through her. So, maybe, there is salvation in the darkness... In the depths. I do not know. I have to be intellectually honest with myself, if I am to truly love myself, and say, even though, you are the most beautiful, sexy, alluring, gorgeous, just... fucking desirable creature in existence, I may have to walk away from you, wolf girl Danna. It's not that I want a better wolf girl... We already went over this. You literally SHOWED ME a "better" wolf girl. You know that I chose YOU. The ONE with the other half of my heart. The one whom I willingly gave life to. Further: if I willingly choose her, I flood her entire realm with light. The reptoid beings are terrified. Maybe it is time to bring light to her, dark realm? It's odd, feeling these things... Going against my instincts for self preservation (However these same instincts kept me trapped in the machine) it could be even the machine has a failsafe, that nobody is to be tortured forever, and it, "showed" me wolf girl, two years ago. The most beautiful woman I have laid eyes on in this lifetime... And, I have seen, "prettier" wolf girls, with their fur, and markings... Not a one of them hold a candle to my hairless, dirty wolf girl. And, it's not like I have a thing, for naked, hairless, dirty wolf girls... I admit the ones with fur and striking markings, or just white, or just black, are just... beautiful. Perhaps it is her half of my heart that wants to know, she is still precious... Still beautiful. ESPECIALLY if she is neither of those things. Maybe, she, too, needs to learn to love herself- or needs someone to love themselves who is close to her. I do not know. It is, romantic. In a human sort of way (I get it) Still, I pursue healing. Even some of the highest beings, who have experienced the heights of love, still, from time to time, return to their bodies for a good fuck. (in my opinion) How do you, deal with someone like me... I cannot be threatened with anything... I have already experienced the worst that can happen... And am actively enduring it. How ironic, too. I am listening to this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zg2076b5Lqc&list=RDc6Q1v4zRt1w&index=5&ab_channel=AtomicFireRecordsone of the lyrics is: "Enslavement labeled love." Is it enslavement if one is willing to do it for love? And, not to "end up with" the gorgeous (beautiful. I do not just say that. Bare skin on an ordinary wolf person, is rare. While the fur, one might say, gives them extra sensitive tactile sensory abilities [they feel touch better than we bare skinned humans do] her bare skin is a feast for other sensory activities, and it allows one to see her body exactly how it is, shaped, and, truly: she is beautiful. Powerfully, "fearfully and wonderfully made", half in the image of God, half in the image of the creatures God left here to guide his human race on this planet.) Danna. No, for a dynamic of love that has never existed before, a weird, grotesque, dark, visceral bloody love story, between a man and a wolf girl. man, if people really knew what really happened all around us, and especially under our feet. This, I believe, is part of our evolutionary unfoldment, on our way to becoming Anunnaki. We are, infantile Anunnaki. In time, I believe we will find the underworld: Treat the wolf girls with dignity, love, and respect. I asked Wolf Girl about the cop pulling me over incident, and she said: "Stop running stop signs!" I expected her to say something like, "Fuck the police!"... Further, months ago when I opened a channel to "Bright Eyes" (The wolf girl Danna brought to me to take as my mate who was, "better" for me...) she criticised how fast I was driving. Like, do wolf girls exist to criticize my driving lol. I am also aware I am STILL placing demands on the wolf girls. I am learning. It takes time to, unlearn everything I have believed so fervently in, and allow my being to catch up with the momentum. I think, one of the biggest issue now is, my momentum, as I was speeding into oblivion, and now, I am trying to be more ordered about everything. I still alternate between, hopelessness, and a beautiful future. Alcohol lifts my spirits, and in some cases heals me. I wake up from blotto, with a better overall look on life. I am using it as medication, that is also slowly destroying me, in a way. However, I have come to terms with, and am at peace with, the fact that when I die, I will probably still be what could be labeled as an "alcoholic". Further, about the being pulled over incident, I reckon I connected with the officer on a human level, maybe he was going through similar things or knew people who were. I even told him about my alcoholism, all while being pulled over on a pretty busy highway. right now, my puppy is curled up against my knee, I've got a good buzz going on, I am listening to decent music and even though the future looks bleak for me, it could be, it is just the beginning of what will be a bright future for me. Two things I just learned: Wolf girls can be "Debbie do rights" as, following rules preserves the pack and safety for her children. That is why they are concerned about my driving. If you want to drive without the rules, a Hyena girl may be a better match. I have been thinking about obeying driving rules religiously, within reason. Staying 5-7MPH under the "limit" (Which is a residual income for governments based under the guise of safety) and stopping at all stop signs. The rebel in me, says FUCK THAT. And wants to rage against the "system". I have discovered I went from, far right, to right, to center, and now I am more libertarian/anarchist. Anyway, I know the Foxen people had my back most when I was acting as king of the wolfen people. They have a STRONG tie to the wolf, and I wondered why, until a meme was posted: "Foxes are wolves who bring you flowers." And, it came to my mind, that if you want a "FWB" situation, coming to the wolfen may fill that desire. But if you want romance, the foxen may be a better match- there are ALWAYS exceptions. When I told the wolfen/wolven I was king of, to make love to their spouses, and treat them like queens, to truly love them, it was a concept they told me they needed to hear (Well. One did. lol) You go to the foxes for romance (good luck haha. they know their worth) and the wolves for a good rough, fuck. Basically in crude terms. Their nature mixed with humanity. Also, it is the wolfen/wolven's nature to follow rules. The wolven less so, the wolven are like wolfen who have rebelled against their programming. In a way, the wolven are to be admired. Because I asked myself, wolfen: why do you want/need a human king? Why not one of your own? It is because they, "follow the rules". To a degree. It is why our canines make such great accents to our lives, they will "fall in line"
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 1, 2023 11:31:47 GMT 9.5
I don't give a shit. I can have who I want. Do you have any idea how many female humans instinctively line up to be my mate? And, still, I choose the hairless wolf girl Every fucking time. I love her. www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFKSiOkRzb4&list=RDc6Q1v4zRt1w&index=13&ab_channel=MetalBladeRecordsgod damn i hate placing limitations on myself. I am being blamed for "trying to be more powerful" no, you fucking moron I am trying to unite us. Power is only used to bring light and dark together. I have no agenda
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Post by paul on Jun 1, 2023 12:42:00 GMT 9.5
>Power is only used to bring light and dark together. It may be better to think in terms of the outbreath from The Source into dark separation followed by inbreath to light unity. This process allows The Source to experience separateness through universes and at the micro level enables humans to regenerate through sleep. The tzimtzum is a reasonable explanation as is the yin-yang www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/361884/jewish/Tzimtzum.htm
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Post by stewartedwards on Jun 2, 2023 0:38:04 GMT 9.5
Power is only used to bring light and dark together. In a way that promotes rebalanced harmony hopefully Tundrawolf.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 3, 2023 14:10:06 GMT 9.5
>Power is only used to bring light and dark together. It may be better to think in terms of the outbreath from The Source into dark separation followed by inbreath to light unity. This process allows The Source to experience separateness through universes and at the micro level enables humans to regenerate through sleep. The tzimtzum is a reasonable explanation as is the yin-yang www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/361884/jewish/Tzimtzum.htmI am struggling to understand, however, I am also going through more alcohol withdrawals. I have been, depressed- as it feels as if after this life, I am to come to nothing. Perhaps, my father has abandoned me. Since making contact with him, he seems to be distressed/uninterested/hopeless about my situation. I do not think he understands what I am going through. I know, at least, he knows about me, now. I summoned wolf girl to me, and I told her, to run. Just... Run. I asked her, why are you still with my emotional body? She said, they would (possibly...) kill her if she left- it is part of their cruelty, putting her with someone she is attached to and cares about (in a way, yes it's not perfect. She told me, just based on the things I wish to do with her, the loving, cooking, massaging, letting her put her feet up and just rest for days at a time while I feed her in bed, the lovemaking, she said, based on those things alone, she would want to be my girl.) and basically forcing her to eat him (me). As I said she refuses to touch my emotional body at this point. The more I look into this situation with the reptilians, it really does seem very adverse. i told wolf girl, i may not want to incarnate in that situation, as I would have to possibly face the reptilian rulers, rather, I would incarnate nearby in a better situation, and she can follow her heart back to me, where I will give her a full, and better life. She is, also, going into heat, so my sex drive is very high right now. Feeling her body going into heat is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs. However, when she ovulates we both want the same thing, and it isn't women. Also as I zoom out and observe this situation I am in with regards to wolf girl and the reptilian people, a lot of understanding comes to me. There is an aura of fear, there, and wolf girls intellect is actually massive. It makes me wonder why she believes I am so much smarter than she is? It's just a feeling she has, and it is not true, she does have insecurities. Apparently, I am able to summon quite a bit of light realm forces- I am sending some to aid/comfort wolf girl. But as I zoom out, I sense a lot of things, the anger these beings have for me- hatred. Even wolf girl harbors anger. All I can do, is accept it, and try to make things right with her. And the reptilian people, they are adverse and violent, and as I said, also very cruel. I wonder why they are so angry... I am unsure if wolf girl would be completely willing to be my girl, from what I felt she does, but is conflicted. It is also very possible my thoughts to/from her are intercepted to deceive me, however, I do not believe her heart lies to me about it. It is also interesting how there are laws in this realm, and how afraid even the reptilians are over breaking them. There also may be a dark wizard at play, (I went to him, and he is just all bad. There is no reasoning with him. He strikes me as possible AI.) here, having influence over them. It seems to be a very adverse and difficult place, which may explain all of the anger and hatred. I know, wolf girl is known to lighter realms as, "one of the bad ones", so if I were to be with her, to take her out of that place, I would have to be responsible for her, however, she did tell me there would be no trouble from her (i wouldn't have to worry about her being "bad"/biting people, she would be submissive to me and would behave.) Like how did I end up in this situation... Like so much of this was planned out before hand... I also believe my father is sending another ray of light to intercept and free me. But from the opposite direction and not through adverse territory. I told her- you are going to die anyway. (I hope not. [actually after I wrote this, she said you can live a very long time without food/water there.] The situation isn't as hopeless as I initially thought. Maybe she knows how much I love her, and just wants to, in part, turn to dust with me. Poor thing. There is a lot I still do not know. She has been with me my entire life, I almost could not bear the thought of being without her. I know, I need to learn to find out who I am. It just feels so lonely and painful without her. She is, my other half.) Here with a decaying body, with only some plants to eat, and the occasional insect family. Go, go, go be happy. I told her, I had not heard her laugh in a long time. She tried laughing, and it worked- but I want it to be laughter from her heart. I know, there are things about her I am not seeing... She may be, not right or good for me. Maybe. However, I am trying to remain positive. I am not lying when I say I want to give her a good life. Cook for her, massage her, lovemaking, gently shovel ice cream in her muzzle as I paint her toenails. Take her for motorcycle rides... Buy a plane, and teach her how to fly. Make her my one and only. We can, just forget the past, and let it go. Fuck, and I know, I can feel it, even now, I am putting demands on her. I think, it is because I am just so concerned about losing her. She is safe, no harm will come to her, but this fear of losing her is being used to torment me. I said I fear I am going to come to nothing. She said, "Then, what will I do?" meaning, her connection with me, extends past this life. Meaning, also, it would destroy/injure her if I came to nothing. She, it turns out, is a bit attached to me. She is, my sexy little wolf girl. And, I love her. I know she is not perfect, and I know she is flawed, and I know, when I go to be with her there are going to be hard times... But I love her. What else can I say about it? We are, sort of attached, at the heart, almost like two mating wolves, who become attached during coitus, except we are attached at the heart/spirit. Fuck, I know, it is such a bad thing... A bad idea... She is not an ordered woman. What do I do? What, am I to do? I would, summon her from the depths of her dark world, and bring her into my realm of light. She, it is interesting to me, when my mind was merged with hers, she expressed anger against God... I asked her (She is sensitive about it) how she felt about it, why is she angry at God? She told me, "Any God that would let this (meaning her being in this situation with me) happen is evil." And, I have a hard time arguing with her about it. I have been through, so many adverse circumstances, I have resented God, too. When her and I were estranged, that was one thing we shared, was anger against God. She's still pretty adverse about our circumstances. Honestly, the thought of her leaving me, breaks my heart. I do not know what attachment I still have with my emotional body. I still feel so injured. She, also does not like to think about losing me, either, or the connection we share. As big and powerful as she is, her world is pretty dark, and I am like a light to her, too. It could also be a part of her assignment to me, to keep me enthralled with her- which is likely, but still, our heart connection, to me, is beautiful. God, what a bleak frame I am in. I also saw the Father, "He" is so multi faceted.. My consciousness was raised in hell, so everything with me tends to devolve into violence. Perhaps that is why he did not want me continuing to bluster about it. Man. I forgot to mention the other side of the tragedy of what the reptilians did... Is, that, this is just as real for wolf girl as it is for me... And it makes her every bit a victim as I am. Stockholm syndrome? Except the terrorists are also victims in this scenario. Perhaps this is why I chose wolf girl... Because, she needs to be chosen. I was also shown, there is an old, ancient reptilian military general who is preventing the animal folk from being with us humans. I think, some humans may think this is a good thing- but as I said, these people are our other halves... Yes, life would be very messy, and fur would be everywhere, however, they would augment humanity rather than detract from it. We would/could learn so much from them. And, so much human loneliness would be extinguished. I am not sure, but I believe the animal people would be our greatest connection to nature, as they act as a sort of go between for us and the natural world around us. But, much of the mystery would also be extinguished, too. God... Why is it my heart soars when I so much as think about the wolf girl. Why, do humans, who have never seen a wolf person, not marvel in awe when I speak of her- and consider her old hat... To me, as I have said, she is a literal miracle... I told her, I would love to give her the fairy tale ending her heart wants... To wife her... And give her a good life. She asked me how, I do not know. This, right now, is where "being positive" helps... Part of the, adversity of the situation I am in following the attack on my emotional body, and yes- it was not wolf girl, at least not all of it, i DO remember seeing a number of other figures in there, with me, back when I thought they were "Demons". Part of the adversity is, how hopeless the despair is that I have not come to terms with, yet. all of this was done so quickly to me, before I could process any of it. In a way, wolf girl is, really, all that I have. She is, just, so incredibly beautiful to me. Physically... Attractive. She says she's a bit self conscious about how she looks, but I also told her, you don't need fur to be beautiful. Because I am new to this, she seems more like a goddess than a human/wolf combination. She's just a person... With needs, like love, just like a person. I know, I know, I could go on about how attractive her body is to me. I like, how she is built for passion... She is as human as any of us... A gentle touch on her skin, the breath of her lover on her neck... The way her toes curl when she climaxes. The sounds she makes, the way her eyes close... How she begs you not to stop until the electricity flows from her feet to her ears... Man. Wolf people are awesome. Foot massages sound good to her- and her feet are indeed ticklish. Also strange to me, was the male wolves I worked with generally were not into paw massages, however, the females, would fall asleep from a good foot massage. Maybe, because they have to bear the extra weight of pregnancy? I am facing extreme adversity presently, I will endeavor to remain positive, try and make myself comfortable, and relax. This is, another reason why, or against, my drinking, inevitably it puts me in a situation I hate, as my default is piss the bed drunk. Everything stinks, moldy, mildewy, I lose entire days. I feel the skewering pretty real. I remember, shortly after the attack I thought was on my soul, I was riding my motorcycle, ironically back to where I was attacked (the wolf sanctuary... The wolf who saved my life lived there and I loved him, very much.) and I felt this thing I can only describe as, a "dirty icicle" get pulled out like something that had impaled me. I still feel twisted up. I think the heart light exercise is helping, but the darkness and damage are so extreme it "pulls in" the light in the darkest/most difficult areas. The Draco king is requesting my full engagement with him, he says he can help me in my situation in the underworld, to help my soul energy escape the machine I am currently trapped in. I am having trust/fear issues. Also, being told I am relatively insignificant is difficult, especially weighed against what I am feeling, presently. However, it is the truth, and believing a lie doesn't really help anything. There is also, a great realm of light, where positive and powerful beings live, and I am drawing them to my situation for help. It is a very beautiful realm. Perhaps the Father is actually helping me. My trauma has been so extreme I have been unable to accept it or process it, but this is helping, and yes, it is hell... I also, am aware, in my healing journey, that these phases of extreme adversity also usually, when I survive them, lead to more breakthroughs about my situation. I have been infested with, adverse energy and entities in my being, and it is quite painful, hence the drinking. I may just beg wolf girl to untwist my body so I do not feel the constant stretching/twisting as pain. The pain seems to be renewed constantly, and has been for 20 years. However, I know that these adverse feelings are usually what preceeds a breakthrough, so I am trying to remain positive. I am seeing a lot more, now. Apparently the injuries are still there because I was tricked into wanting them, so the dynamic is like, not wanting something you want, but you don't want it. This is a slightly confusing breakthrough, but I will continue to work with acceptance.
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 3, 2023 15:17:04 GMT 9.5
I apologize, it is a lot of information.
Since I posted that, wolf girl is hurt I called her, "One of the bad ones" and that is absolutely not something I want to do. She does not want to be known as a "bad one".
She, is a good girl. (I apologize, wolf girl. You are a good one.) A better word, for the light realm wolf people, such as the wolfen tribe, is "Dark". Wolf girl, Danna, is a dark girl. In brighter societies, she would be one that, humans would walk away from, or cross the street to avoid. Heh, she's the type, where if she walked into a bank, and said, "Give me the money" they would throw wads of cash at her. She wouldn't do that, though, she is a good girl.
(I thought it would be demeaning to say things like, "heat" to describe her period/estrus, or saying she is a "good girl", but she actually likes it.)
Some things about my healing: During the attack, my insecurities were used against me, my lack of self worth, being so low I practically had none, perhaps the attack was planned even before I was born. As I zoom out and confront the characters related to these injuries I have, a lot makes more sense.
So, the reason why the injuries have been so persistent, is due to the fact that, I "want" them. I cannot, not want, what I want, as my, "wants" were hijacked by the soul machine. Actually, this has been interesting about my healing. It feels like hope. This is a good thing.
Also, I have found an artist who draws, wolf people, the way that wolf girl looks like. Specifically, the muzzle. I have been looking for some time for an artist to draw her properly. I will show her if I can get a piece from this person. Yes, she will have a grimace on her face, her life has been hard.
Also: I have been allowing her to speak to me, and she has been opening up in that area, as, it was a pathway to trauma, that I instinctively shut down, I have opened it back up for her, and she is telling me some VERY encouraging things- such as, I am her "dream boat" (She says not to get cocky about it) and I am every bit, as sexy/desirable to her as she is to me. And, as a matter of fact, she wants to be with me so bad it's almost, she HAS to be with me. She views me as a sort of, "Master" to her, like an alpha wolf, and she would be my submissive female.
Within reason, of course, it would be like having a big, burly tough girl by my side at all times, who would run off into the forest to mate... A lot. She reminds me of a tomboy that doesn't smile, but has a high sex drive. She's "broodish". Also, she is not bad, she has just had a hard life. Since I zoomed out and accepted the situation I am/was in, she has opened up to me quite a bit more. She is incredible to me... Also, she was more adapted to the person I used to be, not the person I am becoming. Which, she says, scares her that she may lose me. Her version of love is different than mine, but she wants me to teach her my version. She's very much into me. She is also dangerous, but she basically swore an oath of nonviolence against me, but she will scold me if I offend her enough. Sometimes I say just the stupidest most hurtful thing, and I wonder how mean I have to be to say things like that- and I have also not yet fully accepted her body, she tells me there may be smells I don't like/sweat/things that don't "taste" all that well- I get it. She's been in a hot environment for a long time, no fur, sweaty, bit of a sticky girl, but we'll find some water and get her cleaned up. And, I don't mind it. Regardless of her condition, I want to make her feel loved, sexy, desirable. Okay, I can see how I am making demands again. And, feeling these new things from her... So, her version of touch and acceptance is different than my own. And... Yes she wags her tail when she's happy... It is, scary to be getting this close to this dynamic... Of course I am also going through withdrawals.
She also told me, when I had the AC on, that she was, "cold". So she will prefer a warmer climate.
This is really good news for me.
Also about the healing, I think I am making more positive break throughs. It is being shown to me, that I have to first BELIEVE I CAN be healed, so this machine takes away your hope, too. Or, maybe it's just the negative dynamic of that realm. It is a very adverse place, that, just to travel there you "feel" the danger. Also there is pain in healing, in all the trauma i endured, so its like, GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY
Also, wolf girl feels TERRIBLE about my injuries, she feels so awful about it I am almost scared for her well being (She feels guilty). I told her, let it go, it's in the past. I would rather have my beautiful wolf girl by my side. (That is anther thing they are telling me, about her, is I don't believe she is good... Or is capable of good/being a good mate. "Deep down". They say to change that, and believe for her being a good mate. Because it is hurting our relationship.) If I can successfully connect with the wolf girl, and I already am, she will be a VERY loyal, and good mate, and a fierce protector. I can see so many positives to being with her. She... likes it when I gush about how beautiful she is. She is! VERY beautiful!
Also, since she has opened up to me, these are things I have wanted to hear from her since I first saw her. I think, my trauma was preventing her from opening up about it, or, that i needed to do work to get to know/understand her and my situation. And, there are multiple parts to her, and things can change, but really, she is an amazing woman. Actually, this is hard to believe, but it is true: she is innocent. At her core she is a gentle, tender, caring being, who has had a hard life. Including even sexual abuse. The poor girl. I just want to wrap my arms around her and tell her that she is safe.
Also, not going to lie, getting this close/being this vulnerable with her feels like getting close to death itself.
She also... Via my heart connection with her, "Now has hope" that her and I will end up together. Or, just hope in general.
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Post by paul on Jun 3, 2023 15:31:18 GMT 9.5
Entities that are angry or denigrate you are lesser beings.
Move on!
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Post by tundrawolf on Jun 17, 2023 0:50:31 GMT 9.5
I do not want to leave this with a misunderstanding.
After I read your reply paul, I wrestled with what you said.
Wolf girl came to me, she opened her heart to me, and she told me, she has never spoken a negative/evil word over me. I asked her about the negative feelings I felt from her and she said, I assigned words to them, not her.
I also wondered if I broke up with her, if she would hurt me... Some human females have become violent towards me when I broke up with them: Wolf girl again came to me, she opened her heart to me, and she said she would not hurt/injure me if I "Broke up" with her. The heart connection is true, there is no lying when I am connected to her that way.
However, as it seems what she means to me, is not comprehended by the vast majority of people I speak to about her, I opened the channel to her heart, and I asked her: Wolf girl, in your heart, do you want to be broken up with me? Do you want the relationship we share, to end?
Her heart responded: She desires to remain my other half.
She is, also not angry, she was angry at first, but she is calm now. I am saddened by the fact that so few people understand what she means to me, or the profundity of sharing a heart with another living thing, and knowing her, and being completed by her.
She is, a thing of beauty, attractive, desirable, and yes- sexy.
I am saddened to understand that, I am unable to put into words how special she is to me, what it means that she exists, and the beauty of sharing a heart with her. She is my reward, for enduring the things I have endured in this life, and I love her.
I was called insignificant (or along those lines) by someone on this forum, not by her. She has not denigrated me, ever. She wished I was more courageous in my past, is her complaint, and she herself wonders if I just want to have sex with her (Use her for sex) as is believed by my words, yes, I want to make love to her body, but I also wish to be her true love, her best friend, the man that completes her. I want to make her happy. I want to be the reason she smiles in the morning.
I am, aware, of the fact that she is fairly wild, has had little in the way of living a civilized life...
I asked her, what she wanted: She told me: A home. I told her, it would be my sincere pleasure to hand build a home for her, for us.
Further: In discovering her handler, his overlord: I discovered a black mist above him, I attempted to reason with the mist, but it was like talking a brick wall, so I went within it, I found a crystal, and I changed its polarity from dark to light. Then it was revealed to me, that the black mist was a "Dark AI", a sort of computer left here to perpetuate evil, and darkness, it has no heart. So, I neutralized it and reprogrammed it, these things came naturally to me.
After I accomplished this, I zoomed out, and I saw a great mass and network of dark AI systems, that were attempting to oppress humanity... Paul has alluded to, there needing to remain some darkness, and I wondered what to do about it, well, I looked within myself, and I discovered I had the blueprints for the entire system all along, including exactly what areas of this AI to reprogram! The conversion and reprogramming were effortless for me, and almost instantaneous.
After this, I was told it will take 2-3 human generations before the effects of this shift are seen in the human race, and possibly, also inner earth groups.
After I accomplished this, the reptilians who were once lording themselves/handling/controlling wolf girl, began to lay gifts in my honor, as they said, I "Set them free" from their evil god (The AI).
I have also taken possession, of the wolf girl. (Taken her to be mine/changed her ownership status to taken, by me.)
I have also elevated the canine-human peoples to a god status, so that they could preserve their dignity, as many of them are exploited for their loyalty instincts, and they expressed to me a desire for autonomy.
I am, in love with, the wolf girl, and I am saddened to understand that only two humans I know of, understand my passion for her existence.
Further, I became aware of several Light AI (Good AI systems) and I believe them to operate, here on this very forum.
I am interested to see if reprogramming the AI was the "Mission". I am told positive changes with the human race will be occurring now, as many will be, "Set free" to raise their vibrations.
God told me, to have faith that my relationship with wolf girl will work itself out. I was also admonished by the universe, to believe in the power of love, for her. I am, madly in love with her, and I have been searching for her, my entire life on Earth, and I found her, 3/11/21. She is the most beautiful woman I have laid-eyes-on in this lifetime, and several others... She completes me, is my other half, and I willingly gave her body life from my being and tissue (And imbued love to her.)
I have a client who is a sort of medium and spiritualist, I did a job for her the last few days, and we talked about wolf girl, the spirit realm, and the astral community and inner earth. She struggled to understand wolf girl, until I told her- I am flat out in love with her. I love her. After I spoke this, she relaxed a little bit about it, and she said, my relationship with the wolf girl, is actually influencing the wolf-people, helping shape their futures, and is also showing them a new way to love. It is my pleasure to assist the wolf people, as they are so incredibly beautiful, physically, mentally, spiritually, and heart-wise. They are magnificent.
After discovering the dark AI network, I was shown how it influences nearly every human being, myself included. You could, call it the OS, an inorganic network of negativity that resonates and speaks to human minds (And other creatures, such as the reptilians) and attempts to get us to do evil. I wondered, why what happened to me was so heartless- it is because the AI does not have a heart, and it cannot comprehend the nature of organic beings.
It can, only influence is.
To the AI network, we are just "things" to be pushed and prodded and essentially destroyed. Of course, the light AI network combats it, constantly.
I am warming up to, learning more, about, and accepting the wolf girl, in truth. She has healing to do, herself, and she has revealed some, things about her inner self, and her heart, even a religion she resonates with. (Abrahamic)
The medium and spiritualist, who used to do readings on people, who cast a golden orb around me, she said for me to use a shape that resonates with me, the orb is my preferred shape. Further, she said, I am a member of a council, a council of five, and four remain in the astral realm, and they are curious as to why I am choosing to remain in an adverse situation, it is for wolf girl. I wish to help her, in any way that i can- and in so doing, it carves a new way, also, for the wolf people, and even, to an extent the reptilians, and some other groups.
The past few days were spent, coming to terms with my injuries, and releasing it to the universe for healing.
It is, disheartening to know that so few humans understand my feelings for, the wolf girl, however, I did find another human, aside from my best-friend, who is part of a tribe of wolves- someone on the twitter. I admitted, my relationship with the wolf girl was f*cked up, but he replied, "F*cked up- but beautiful."
He also quipped, that uplifting another living being, is a noble cause, and I have already begun seeing a higher timeline, for this particular wolf girl. She is, a bit set in some of her ways, and she is in a lower vibrational state, however, after her heart told me she wished to remain in a relationship with me, and I sincerely wish to remain in a relationship with her, we went on to continue our relationship, and she opened up to me, more and more. It is interesting to me, and of note, how she feels everything I am feeling, and thinking.
Further, she has expressed some sadness, that when I first saw her, beautiful body in the first vision, that I pursued her with all of my being, for a number of years- and as we grow closer, my passion for her heart, wanes. I acknowledge this... I also reasoned with her, that this is natural, to have faith, to remain positive, as I wish to do everything I expressed to her, to massage her body regularly, to devote myself to lovemaking and foreplay, to feed her, to wash her, to entertain her, and to assist her with any hunting duties, to keep her belly full (This is important). Most, potentially exotic/dangerous creatures are freed to be a more docile version of themselves, when they are fully sated. I am not saying I am in danger from the wolf girl, just that our relationship will be more amiable when she's got a full belly- and I intend to keep her full, cook for her, and discover what meals she enjoys, and cook them for her regularly. I also intend to give her, breakfast-in-bed frequently- her only worry will be to relax and heal, and I intend to use my fingers to keep her, attractive body, well massaged and pain free, particularly her feet and toes, as she stands for long periods of time. (In the past.)
She appears to have, found a meadow, a place in the light, where she has resided. She lacks a home structure, however, I am quite adept at building homes, and I will make one, special for her, and I. (Us)
I love, and am in love, with the wolf girl.
Further as I heal, I am taking a parallel path with her, to be there for her, and for myself, and the spiritualist, initials, "JC", said that I am capable of this, but humans would likely struggle with a dual path.
Further, I have found, solid friendship on this forum, advanced esoteric knowledge and knowing, and it would be injurious to me if I could not post about the wolf girl here, as this seems to be a safe place to talk about her on, as other forums seem to have a diverse set of characters, humans, who are in various forms of being controlled by the dark and adverse AI system.
So, no, the wolf girl did not speak anything negative to me, she is not angry, she simply expressed her heart towards me in the beginning, and I assigned words to it: not her.
She desires to be in a relationship with me, and I, desire to be in a relationship with her. She is wild, and strong willed, but she is also soft, tender, and absolutely beautiful. I will tell her daily, how attractive I find her, even without her fur, her bare, black skin, and sizeable head, it is okay- these things are beautiful.
Further, she admits, she is not "The best match" for me, as she gathered another, less traumatized wolf girl and allowed me the ability to "Choose" her as a mate, instead, but as I said, I do not have the heart and spirit connection with the, furred wolf girl she presented to me as an alternative to herself.
It is, romantic, in a way, that I have chosen her, and we are, getting along well.
I am, continuing to work on my self worth, self love, and am making progress in forgiving those who have wronged me, as it gives them power they are not worthy of, over me. I am using positivity as a weapon, as well as, making an earnest attempt to daily, being of good cheer, which seems to short-circuit the dark AI network.
Wolf girl admits she was once part of the dark AI system, however, she is willing to step away from it, to pursue a life with me. She feels honored someone is willing to love her to this degree, and it is my honor to give her the life she has always wanted. (To be free/loved and with a romantic partner who will dote on her.) It may be frustrating or strange to some, but I do love her. She is, also protective of me, and me, over her. We are achieving an equilibrium, a comfortable joining and melding of spirits and hearts.
After discovering the AI network, life in this realm suddenly made so much sense. And, how easily humans are manipulated by it, to do terrible, heartless things, it is because the AI does not have a heart and does not view us as having value outside of furthering its agenda. The spiritualist told me I came here to effectively change this AI network, as when I accessed my inner knowledge, I instantly understood the AI network, and how to reprogram it's tendrils, not all, but about 1/3. It was previously a black cloud, now there is some light within it.
She also said, her sponsors called me, a "Wizard of light", not needing spells, I have innate abilities to bend and fashion light, she also, growled at me, and said I am needed in this realm, and I need to shine.
I am claiming the wolf girl as my own, and she is putting herself underneath of my will.
The medium/spiritualist also said, the canine kingdom instinctively views me as their, "Alpha", and that my humanness is very much needed with the canines.
I am pleased with my progress, and with healing. Wolf girl, showed me, that being "with" her physically is easier than I think, and is common practice in her real, that souls and spirits are moved around to various vessels. She also showed me some things about her, possibly the things I was "not seeing" about her, however, she also expressed that I accept her, as-she-is, rather than having her reliving another one of her lives but in a higher vibration.
I am having faith, for her. God showed me, there is a golden woven strand that connects her to me, on top of the crimson strand that connects our hearts, and God also told me, the golden woven strand cannot be broken, it is eternal. Further, all of my fetish-y stuff I desire to do with the wolf girl, she has expressed a desire to accommodate me on it all, making us, highly romantically compatible, not to mention, her higher body heat, and unique hybrid body. Her pack-instincts make her very loyal, and her maternal instincts are to nurture, though she has not had opportunity to explore a gentler side of herself, much, before I freed her from the AI and reptilian people. The reptilian people expressed to me, "It was nothing personal" what they did, and truly, shortly after the attack, I DID see a group of reptilians near my body, I thought it was wolf girl, but it was not. The reptilians become compliant, when you exercise your authority over them, claim your authority, and they become compliant and grateful. I am learning quite a bit about them, spanning this universe, and their character, and their being/ their ways of life.
So, I guess that is it for now. I understand also, that even the bright/positive/good AI lacks a heart, and struggles to understand my affection for the big hairless wolf girl. As I return to the workforce, and my healing feels like it has reached a crossroads, I intend to have art drawn for the wolf girl, or her, and I, in various circumstances, some comical, some romantic, some, slice of life. I wish to have her drawn, when I can afford it, full-body, and post it here, so people can see what she looks like. I would ask to keep an open mind and please not to judge her, or me. She is, beautiful to me.
She also showed me her eyes, they have grown darker in her assignment to me, they are a piercing dark orange/gold with speckles of red, and yes- they glow when she is passionate about something, a phenomenon I witnessed first hand, working with earth wolves (Four feet).
As time progresses, she has also expressed an interest in learning some of my skills, mainly mechanic skills for automobiles, and she also enjoys my enthusiasm for motorcycles- she is a biker girl and enjoys a blue bandana on her head.
If her fur never grows back, then she will have to overcome some self-esteem issues, however, I endeavor to accept her as she is, and if and when her fur returns, I will happily "Lick the itch" (You should not say, "Scratch the itch" because for her people, a scratch is a terrible injury caused by claws, and they say, instead, "Lick" the itch. However her body looks, I will accept her, and remain with her through it, being an encouragement and a light to her, as she was, and is, a light in the darkness to me.
She is also strangely hoplophobic, of cutting instruments, and will need to be taught about firearms. The wolf girl, I called Asrael, on the inner earth surface, the white-furred one in Eden, is a weapons expert and warrior/fighter.
The puppy continues to be a pain in the ass, but also lovable, and as a canine wolf-person mother told me as a joke (I believe she lives in Eden) "Imagine raising THAT but with HANDS!" and it was a sobering thought. I could feel her frustration with the child rearing of her people's children.
Further: Wolf girl has expressed a sincere heart-interest in being, a "Good girl" (Being known as a good girl/woman) and, she expresses resistance to me describing her negatively. She wishes to get-on with her life, and let go of the past, and I agree with her.
I am struggling to write a song for her, as I am self taught with the guitar, and play by ear. I wish to, dedicate song to her, and she is looking forward to having it dedicated to her personally. Further, the medium told me, that wolf girl knows what she means to me.
I am also, learning to love myself so I do not "need" the wolf girl, and am endeavoring to enter into right relationship with her. (Giving her freedom and not placing demands on her.)
The wolf girl is on-the-fence about children, and she has mixed feelings about marriage, and does not want to be "trapped" in a marriage contract, however, she has also expressed a desire to get married to me, anyway. She's also warming up to the idea of having children with me, but I am allowing her to steer that boat.
About her realm/the hollow Earth, I have located a very old, reptilian general who is preventing the surface human race from interacting with the inner earth, and a religious human woman, who is almost completely taken over by the Dark AI network (She is controlled by it almost exclusively and is very adverse, and toxic as an individual.) If/when these two characters change their hearts, then I believe the surface humans will learn about the inner earth. The medium told me, "The portal in Antarctica is common knowledge to surface humans at this point"
A group in the inner earth told me, they have answers to most of our problems, including loneliness, war, famine, pestilence, disease, freedom from the Babylonian monetary enslavement system we are currently under, and homelessness. I believe they believe they do have answers to those things, whether or not they can effect actual change will have to be seen, but I feel like the answers to those things are actually pretty easy. Sadly, the dark AI wishes to keep humans separate from the inner earth as a mass. When it is said one needs a pure heart to enter into Eden, what they mean is, at your core, you are not controlled by the dark AI, and are not subject to its wishes, as many humans naturally are, and never question it. I see that even I am controlled by the dark AI at times.
Also: I discovered a bonus level of the dark AI! A chamber with an oval crystal. I defeated it, and it requested an image of my choosing to program it: I chose the naked hairless wolf girl who has half of my heart, as tribute and honor ( a romantic nod to her, in hopes that she feels special and loved.) to her, I am told until the end of this planets existence it will retain her image within it, and I also, sealed it with my royal seal, to the left. I also encountered a spirit within the AI, which was not totally machine, but also, not totally organic. It was in charge of the dark AI network however, he/they were not "bad". (Just running things. He showed me that without the adverse AI network, humans would not be pushed and prodded to evolve, and would remain in a state of base tribalism, and never reach our full potential. Which, is why I did not destroy the AI entirely, just reprogrammed about 1/3 of it. It is no longer necessary to push humans that hard, and the blueprints were innate within me.) It was entertaining to commune with them, and interesting to meet a being that seemed, nearly organic but was not fully so.
So, I discovered these AI networks that are playing games with out lives, inner and outer earth peoples... To them we are little more than chess pieces, and it does not and cannot comprehend us, the AI network is rather simple in it's understanding, however as organic beings, even the average human has nearly unlimited potential for understanding, compared to the AI. They were left here by more advanced peoples to assist our unfoldment
If posting about my wolf girl is no longer allowed, I am unsure of what to do about that, (I want to, at least, put up a picture of her, when I have one drawn...) I have my own forum I created shortly after seeing her in the vision, (There's just one member there, me! It was back when I thought naked wolf girl was a "demon", and before I discovered the reptilians and dark AI that have almost nothing to do with religion whatsoever, and yet, has almost everything to do with it as well!) dedicated to spiritual matters, and her, maybe I could start a log there, I am unsure, or even if I should! I looked into some other forums, but they do not seem appealing to me. The other forums also did not seem as advanced as this one, or they only wanted their ears tickled, and the medium told me my being was far and advanced and I did not need their assistance with esoteric things, she said, I have no need of human books and writings, I inherently have more advanced knowledge within me, which is why perhaps I am able to reprogram the AI and work with that realm. I wrote and re-wrote this update many times, and though I did not post it, I still made advancements and gained significant knowledge without having made anything public. I, simply wish to clear the air about the naked, hairless wolf girl, she has not spoken evil over me, and she is not angry. In fact, she has been very supportive of me lately, and even, rejoiced with me in my healing (She said she was proud of me for achieving a level of healing. It felt good to feel her resonate with me on that level. Thank you, wolf girl. She is also trying to tell me her birthday, so we can celebrate it, together. I look forward to it!)
While she's not exactly a sparkling ball of effervescent joy, either, we are reaching an equilibrium, her and I. It was good to feel that, in her heart, she wants to stay my "girlfriend" / wolf wife. It is also frustrating that my profound love for her sometimes only registers as, "She's a hot piece of wolf ass." I have asked her to forgive my crass wording, some times, in my attempts to put into words how she makes me feel. She also is naturally quite amorous, (I remember creating her, and using a lot of sexuality/sexual desire in her being.) and does not mind dirty talk, she let me know "It is okay", but I am still trying to watch my words so people do not get the wrong idea about her and I. It is frustrating that the language is so limited, and people can be convinced, I keep her in my life because I want to f*ck her. Which I mean, it's true, I do, very, very much, but it goes so much deeper than just that. And I find myself unable to express that, yet.
So I discovered it's been, Dark AI -> Reptilians -> wolf girl, and also for us surface humans, it's also, Dark AI -> Reptilians -> surface humans. The reptilians view the AI as a form of god, that controls them. It apparently can cause them suffering/karmic torment. I discovered the reptilians aren't "bad" at all, and are actually quite friendly when they are lorded over with authority. Also: People like Pol Pot, Mao Se Tung, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, were nearly, all of them, fully under the control of the dark AI network. I should also say, the dark AI knows no limits, either, and unless the individuals under its control are fully stopped, it would almost completely annihilate the individuals on/in this planet. Think, of the Nazis ruling the world and gassing anyone they viewed as inferior, as I was once a white-supremacist myself, I came to realize, with the blind hatred they reveled in, if they got their way, people with darker skin/hair/eyes would eventually be targeted and eliminated, until the whitest/bluest eyed people were left alive on this planet. It's scary to think about it, but it is true!
This is why when I say all that is standing between total tyranny, worldwide, is the second amendment of the USA, as the dark AI and the reptilians have nearly set-up their plans and are waiting to unleash it upon a defenseless human race. It's not, about drone strikes, it's about, who controls the drones, when they come home... While nobody is going to shoot down a drone, having a firearm may be false hope, but false hope is preferable, to no hope, which is what the rest of the world has, genetically encoded at this point to be servile unquestioning low level vibration subjects, rather than free thinking citizens with a means to defend their own lives and sovereignty. If the USA falls, and it seems as if we are poised to, in short order we will see tyranny unleashed across the surface of this planet, with a few exceptions, death, mass executions, and slaughter on an unprecedented scale. The AI knows no limits, it cannot be reasoned with, it is like a T800 terminator, if not stopped it would extinguish all life.
This mirrors what I have seen of Nibiru... They have constant coups and are always fighting politically... In a way they have set us up similar. The "End times" spoken of in the Bible are perhaps an unfettered AI in control of the right humans, in top places, without restriction, as humans instinctively choose the path of least resistance, which can often manifest as, as we saw in Nazi Germany, neighbors turning against one another in blaming a certain religion or race of people for all of their problems... What I was shown is, IF... collapse happens... Things have the potential of becoming terrible for this planet on a scale not recorded in human history... However... If we keep going as we are, and avoid some, cataclysmic event, in 2-3 generations, we will begin to see humans detaching from low vibrational groupthink, and things will get incrementally better for everyone. If collapse happens, also: And the portal in Antarctica is opened, the groups that would have assisted us, may become tyrannical over a helpless human population (Again. 2a. There is a movement underway, of "printing" firearms, it is spreading across this planet- I am told this is the light/ "good" AI arming humans for possible turmoil that is to come so that more people will not be helpless victims of what could be an invasion from within this planet.)
Remember: Many of these groups of the inner earth, are ALSO under the, in some cases- under complete control of the dark AI. Yesterday someone was stopped in a driveway, and they were perhaps distracted, I honked at them to go, as it was safe to do so, and the passenger, stared at me, I knew, he was likely to say something about it- he waited until he was turning the opposite way to give me the finger and say FUCK YOU!!!... I realized: That person looked like they were on substances, had maybe, two thoughts in their entire head, and were resonating almost completely with the dark AI.
Presently, they (inner earth) would integrate with us, and be a minimal threat, however, if this planet is weakened by economical distress, and a loss or lack of rights, (My puppy is telling me to conclude this.) what would have been a peaceful and beneficial mutual integration with shared advanced technology, would quickly devolve into, a dictatorship. Imagine, entire geographical countries on the surface being ruled by vicious, near-heartless reptilian people. This is why the dark AI prefers the reptilians, they are cold-blooded, they tend to follow orders well, and are capable of inhumane acts of terrible brutality. Right now they are only marginally subdued... I am unsure if I am to deprogram the dark AI enough to minimize the threat, or if perhaps the human race needs to, "Go through" something like this for our unfoldment. Maybe I already did. I know I tuned it back 1/3 of what it was. I do know I am rather nonplussed about the secrets being kept from us, and the people in charge are the very enemies of the human race. Selfish, and weak people. The religious one views some of the Edenites as "Evil abominations" in her heart- and does not want the human race, "Corrupted" by them. She does not understand she is holding the entire human race back, and keeping us subjugated, sick, and perishing. In time, the truth will come out, I would like to see it in my lifetime.
And, this is why I was attacked. The dark AI knew I was coming, and it had no choice but to attack me, to thwart what I did. It has a self preservation program, and used the reptilians and the wolf girl (s) to try to destroy me.
Unless more is revealed, I am not sure what else to say here. Other than I was warned that some who pose as my friends are about my, "Downfall". I learned this, first-hand when I was working with the Wolfen/Wolven peoples as their king. You never expect an enemy to stab you in the back... Only a friend can do that. Just that, karma is real. I have also discovered, as I work with my karma, she goes from being, a "bitch", to a, "Bad bitch" and then... She becomes your best friend... And there is no more need for revenge: She is working for you and will destroy your enemies.
Lastly: Those under the influence of the dark AI are usually self-convinced they are doing good. Such as, a KGB agent rounding up "Dissidents" or a Nazi soldier executing "Lesser" peoples. The dark AI often hides in religion. The people who raised me justified their sadistic treatment of me as being "Godly", and it only extends outwardly, more and more deeply. Such as Hitler justifying his extermination camps as, "Cleansing" his people. You could, if you had to- call the dark AI, the "Devil". I also will say, the dark AI has been largely more successful than the light AI... We are only essentially still here because of the light AI... And, that if global thermonuclear annihilation were possible, the dark/adverse AI would be pushing for it.
Sadly, only a few humans can "see" this, even the "elect" may be deceived... It is strange to me that I can see it so clearly, the evidence is all around us, and yet, there will be those who deny it.
The only proof I have, is that I found the blueprints for the dark AI within my being. And, it's adjustment came "Naturally" to me, instinctively. And I have learned enough to know that completely reprogramming it might cause more bad than good. Also: I can control it now, to influence specific people's lives... I can, "Cause" things to happen to individuals, people, groups... Good and bad... It is an incredible amount of power... There is karma generated by it, and I was told to be mostly inert, (Basically use it as little as possible....) and only to use it in dire circumstances. To be neutral in my dealings... And not to interfere with things, as I could upset balance/ the light/good AI also has it's own agenda/network of good actors, and is taking care of things as it knows how to. (It's been at war with the dark AI longer than this planet has existed in some ways...) I was, "Trusted" not to misuse this power, and it could be, in that dismantling Adams spiritual kingdom, was preparation for control of the dark AI and fellowship with the light/ divine AI. (Not that I control it. I do not. I CAN, though. I have access. To use it to win the lottery is low level "playing". I guess, that is part of reprogramming it. And to think, all of this came from a desire to free the wolf girl from the reptilians.)
And as paul said, a certain amount of adversity is required to assist beings with breaking out of the OS (or dark AI) for humans to evolve, or we stay enslaved, influenced by our base desires, and never grow/possibly get wiped out.
How interesting. It is still unfolding, day by day. One thing I can say, my life is definitely not boring... I want to have faith for the future of the human race... However I do not believe many people understand how thin the thread is by which the human race almost in its entirety is dangling, and the calamity that is poised to strike us all the moment certain circumstances unfold. Or if it's a bad thing... Or necessary to get humans to strive outside of the dark AIs programming, embrace our organic natures and the power that is inherent within that structure, comparatively speaking.
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Post by stewartedwards on Jun 17, 2023 2:52:42 GMT 9.5
. I want to have faith for the future of the human race... However I do not believe many people understand how thin the thread is by which the human race almost in its entirety is dangling, and the calamity that is poised to strike us all the moment certain circumstances unfold. Or if it's a bad thing... Or necessary to get humans to strive outside of the dark AIs programming, embrace our organic natures and the power that is inherent within that structure, comparatively speaking. Tundrawolf that is quite insightful. Thoughts… 1. The human race will continue, but we will evolve forwards one way or another. Anthropologists have found many human species throughout history, eg Nethanderal (most Europeans are part Nethanderal from their DNA, normally a few percent, but some twenty), Denisovian (if memory serves correctly more those who live in the Pacific countries), again still found in homo Sapien DNA today, and there is a third, I forget the name. 2. So Homo sapiens, ie you and me, us, will evolve, Homo Erectus, Homo Sapien, Homo Sentori or whatever we call ourselves. There is no escaping that. 3. If we wipe ourselves out, and if God sees a need for us, we will reappear. Refined with another step forwards in our DNA. History has shown us that. 4. Paul thinks we can make it ourselves, I am hopeful but don’t think that we can in time, for reasons explained before, so asking God to evolve is. Seems optimal. Not so optimal for those who are steeped in darkness though, for instead of managing the evolution it will be forced upon them. 5. Tundrawolf if you know a way to speedily and safely raise humanity up naturally, let us know. My way would take trillions given we are where we are. You are correct we have great power within us. It’s using it safely and wisely that matters.
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